“Hey Mom, how was Vegas?”
“Good. Relaxing. We saw a CB Rice show while we were there.”
“And?”
“And what?” What the heck? Had she been talking to Paige?
“Did he see you?”
Yep, he saw her. All of her.
“Mom, are you there?”
“I’m here. We, um, spent some time together.”
“What? You and Ben?”
“Me and Ben. I guess you could say we went out on a couple of dates.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
“Renie! That is not an appropriate question to ask me!”
“Why not Mom? Jeez. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“It’s complicated.”
“So you did. Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
“Renie, honey, just so you know this up front. I am not as interested in hearing about your sex life as you are in mine. Just because we’re having this conversation doesn’t mean I’m opening the door to details. On either side.”
Renie laughed, and kept laughing. “Got it Mom. I’m just glad to hear you had fun. When are you seeing him again?”
That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?
They were halfway to Gunnison when Ben’s cell phone rang. He snapped it up, almost saying her name before he knew it was her.
“Hey.”
“Hi Ben. It’s Liv. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you.”
“It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay, but I’m glad to hear from you now. Are you home?”
“I am. I didn’t even go in the house when I got here. I went straight out to the barn and went for a ride.”
“The barn? A ride? Do you have a horse?” That was how little he knew about her. She hadn’t told him she had a horse. Had he even asked her anything about herself? They’d talked about her daughter, but other than that, he knew nothing about her. Wait, her dad had been a pilot in the military, had she said Air Force? He wasn’t sure.
“I have two. One belongs to Renie, but since she’s away at college, I have two. Micah’s mine. He’s not very old, so he needs a lot of exercise. He really likes to get out and run. I also board horses.”
“As a matter of fact, I’m on my way right now to a rodeo, in Gunnison.”
“Oh, I should let you go then. Take care Ben.”
“Hold on, hold on, don’t go hanging up yet. I was just telling you so you knew we had something else in common. You seemed a little worried about that at the airport.”
Ben realized the four other people in the Tahoe with him were hanging on every word he was saying.
“Hey, you know, it might be better if I call you back, since I’m driving and all. When I do, will you answer?”
Liv was quiet, so quiet he thought maybe the call had dropped. “Liv, are you there?”
“I’m here.” She went quiet again. “Um, I think it might be best if you didn’t. I have a lot to get caught up on with the ranch, and honestly, I’m pretty tired. It’ll be an early night for me and a busy few days.”
Ranch? She had a ranch? He was an asshole. No wonder she didn’t want to talk to him, he hadn’t bothered to get to know anything about her, he was too busy getting into her panties.
“Give me a half an hour. You’ll still be awake then, won’t you?”
“Ben . . .”
“A half an hour Liv and I’ll call you back.”
He parked the truck after letting his parents and boys off at the main entrance. “You go get checked in and I’ll meet you,” he’d said. The truth was he was so anxious to call Liv back, he couldn’t wait to get them out of the truck, a fact that wasn’t lost on his mom and dad.
The phone rang three times before she picked up. Ben was almost beside himself by the time she did.
“You don’t know how good it is to hear your voice.”
“Yours too.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk before, I had my mom and dad, and the boys in the truck and suddenly every word I said was the most interesting thing they’d ever heard,” he chuckled.
“It’s okay. I bet they really missed you.”
“They did. But Liv, I really miss you.”
“Ben, I don’t know what to say to you. I had a really nice time, but now we’re back to our own lives. I don’t think we should get into the habit of talking to each other.”
“What? We shouldn’t get into the habit of talking to each other?” Ben knew getting angry was only going to push her further away, but he couldn’t help it. She was really pissing him off. “I’m sorry I raised my voice Liv, but Jesus. Are you serious?”
She didn’t respond.
“Liv, come on. Don’t do this.”
“I’m not doing anything. We had fun.”
“I feel as though you wanted to say, ‘but now it’s over.’”
“How could something that didn’t start be over? It isn’t over. It’s . . . I don’t know what it is. It just isn’t.”
“It isn’t? It isn’t anything to you? It’s something to me.”
“Ben, go be with your kids. Enjoy your night at the rodeo. Enjoy your life.”
Ben knew he should answer her, but he didn’t know what to say. Regardless of what he said next, she’d say goodbye. And then if he called again, would she even pick up?
“I can’t let go of this Liv. I know you think you want me to, but I can’t. More than that, I won’t. So I may hang up now, but tomorrow, I’ll call you again, and if you don’t answer, I’ll keep calling until you do.”
“And what if I don’t answer?”
“You will.” He hung up, if he hadn’t he might have resorted to begging to come see her. He had his boys with him until Monday morning. Maybe he’d give her a couple of days to think, and call her then. If he could last that long. For the first time in several days, he really wanted a drink.
Liv locked the back door and went into the bedroom. It was too early to try to go to sleep, if she did, she’d be wide awake at 3:00 AM. But there wasn’t anything she felt like doing. She turned on the television but she couldn’t get interested in anything that was on. She picked up her iPad to read. She wasn’t interested in reading either. She accidentally swiped the music icon with her finger, and Ben’s voice sang to her.
You’ve had a rough day, why don’t I turn out the light. Let down your hair, it’s gonna be alright. If you need me to dry your tears, baby I’ll be right here. Good night blue eyes, may your dreams come true. Good night blue eyes, I love you.
Oh God, what had she done? Why did she have sex with him? Why had she let herself get to know him? Her ache of loneliness had been manageable before, she’d gotten to the point where she hardly noticed it. Now it was all she noticed.
She was alone, and it was by choice. She could not let herself risk falling in love again. She couldn’t. When she loved people, they left her. He might say he wanted to see her again, but he didn’t realize that it would matter more to her than it would to him.
***
Liv had what sounded like country music playing when Paige walked into the barn Monday morning. It definitely wasn’t a CB Rice song.
“Hell-o, Liv, are you in here?”
Liv came out of one of the stalls at the end of the barn. She was filthy. “Hey Paige, how are you? I’d hug you but . . .”
“Not necessary. What in the world are you doing?”
“Cleaning the stall, I’ve got a new horse coming in at the end of the week. Might as well get ready now.”
“I didn’t hear from you this weekend. I thought I might.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I should have answered you.”
“Are we okay?”
“We’re fine.” Liv walked closer to Paige and sat down on one of the barn stools. “I needed some time to myself.”
“You have too much time to yourself. That’s the problem.”
Liv gave Paige a look.
“I’m not intimidated by you, I know other people are, but I’m not
. I have some things to say and you need to listen.”
“When, tell me, when have I ever not listened to you? Jeez Paige, you’re one of the only people I do listen to.”
“Have you heard from Ben?”
“We talked on Friday. I haven’t heard from his since.”
“Did you make plans?”
“Paige, we just got home! It hasn’t been a week. No, we didn’t make plans.”
“Did he say when you’d hear from him again?”
“No. Well, I don’t know. I mean, I thought I’d hear from him again over the weekend. But I didn’t. You know how the saying goes, ‘be careful what you wish for.’”
“And what did you wish for?”
“To never see him again.”
Paige sat down on one of the other stools. “Oh, honey, why not?”
Liv looked like she was about to cry. Paige walked over to hug her.
“I’m a mess, you don’t want to hug me.”
“I’m sure you have something I can change into after I decide I no longer want to smell like a horse. Come here.”
“I knew it would happen. That’s why this is so stupid. I expected it. There isn’t any reason for me to be this upset. What would a man like him want with a woman like me?”
“Isn’t it a little early in the game to call it?”
Liv pulled back and Paige went and sat back down on her stool.
“I pushed him away pretty hard Paige.”
“And has that worked before?”
“Before? What before? We don’t have a before.”
“You tried to push him away in Vegas, and from what I remember, it didn’t seem like it worked.”
“That was different.”
“I’m just saying is give it a few days.”
“And then what? What will be different? I’m still somebody he slept with while he was ‘on tour,’ or whatever he calls it. He’s probably forgotten my name by now.”
Ben picked up the phone at least a hundred times over the weekend to call Liv, and each time he set it back down. He missed her so much his chest ached. He’d never missed anyone this much, besides his boys when they weren’t with him. When he dropped them off this morning, the ache multiplied.
He hated that he was divorced, and that his boys didn’t have the same kind of family he had. Ben and his brothers had been given the gift of a home in which his parents loved each other, and them, more than anything. There had never been a doubt in his mind that his parents would love each other and be together until the day one of them died. He had failed in creating that for his boys.
He supposed he’d loved Christine at one point. If it had been up to him, they’d still be married. They’d be miserable, but they’d still be married. He was thankful she still lived in Crested Butte, that way the boys didn’t get shuffled back and forth too awful much.
Christine had remarried, not long after their divorce was final. Joe, her new husband, seemed like a good guy. He wasn’t from around here, they’d met skiing, and soon after, he moved here. Ben didn’t even know what the guy did for a living. It didn’t matter what the courts said, Ben would always provide for her, and his boys, whether she was remarried or not. He wanted his sons to have a nice place to live, the same sense of security, whether they were at their mother’s house or his.
Christine was good about making sure they spent time with him when he was in town. When they were married, he was out playing clubs every weekend of the month. Now that they were divorced, he tried to spend as much time at home as he could, to be with his boys.
He wouldn’t see them again for a week. Christine and Joe were taking them to the Grand Canyon over Spring Break, the trip had been planned for six months. He didn’t want them to go, but only because he’d be lonely without them.
Ben had seven days with nowhere he needed to be and nothing he needed to do, and all he could think about was Liv. He liked her, a lot. He wanted to get to know her, spend time with her. The fact that she didn’t seem to want to see him, made the urge to win her over even stronger. He knew it was crazy, more than a little rash, but he knew what he was going to do.
An hour later he was on the road. He didn’t know exactly where she lived, but he’d find out. If she didn’t want to see him—well, he didn’t want to think about that. He had no intention of giving up that easily.
***
Micah jumped the fence into the main pasture easily. They’d had a good ride, much more fun than her ride on Pooh had been. Pooh was getting older and Liv didn’t ride her enough. She planned to give Dottie a call this afternoon to see if one of her grand kids would consider riding the horse for her. She’d even pay them. That way, Pooh would get the exercise she needed, with the kind of rider she was used to, someone more like Renie.
Two more months and Renie would be home for the summer. Liv couldn’t wait. This was Renie’s last summer before graduation, maybe she’d want to take a trip somewhere. Liv planned to talk to her about it this weekend, but they’d kept missing each other’s calls. She hoped they’d be able to catch up soon.
She got down and took Micah’s saddle and other tack off. She’d let him relax in the pasture for a while and brush him later. She opened the gate, walked around the corner, and slammed the saddle right into Ben’s stomach.
“Ow! Shit, that thing is as hard as a rock.”
“Oh! You scared me. I’m so sorry.” Liv dropped the saddle to the ground and was about to make sure Ben was okay when her tummy did a little flip. “Wait. What are you doing here?”
He grabbed her and crushed his lips to hers. He didn’t try to hold back. He wanted her and she wanted him, he knew she did. He’d planned to be sensible, to be civilized, to have a rational conversation with her. But now that she was in his arms he wanted to mark her, possess her, consume her.
Liv’s hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer to her. He pulled back abruptly. Her eyes were wide, he couldn’t tell if it was from arousal, or from fear. His hand lifted and caressed her cheek. Her lips were red and full from his assault. “I couldn’t wait.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t.” She took his hand, leading him away from the barn and pasture.
“What about . . .” he pointed to the saddle and out toward the horse in the pasture.
“They’ll be fine.”
Liv’s house wasn’t exactly modest. And maybe his wasn’t either, she had no idea. But any thoughts of nervousness about his seeing where she lived were squashed by her desire to get him inside and naked as quickly as possible. She’d been crazy to think she’d last even another day without seeing him. She was ready to rip his clothes from his body before they’d even reached the back door.
Once inside he kissed her again, deep, open-mouthed kisses eating her up. His fingers trailed down the side of her neck, over her collarbone. He reached up and unfastened the top buttons on her shirt, rubbing the curve of her breast.
Without words she led him into her bedroom. His eyes took in the openness of it, the big windows that looked out over the prairie, the massive two-sided stone fireplace that separated the bedroom from the master bath, and enormous king-size bed that looked too high for Liv to be able to climb into. He put his arm around the back of her knees and back lifting her, laying her down on the fluffy cream-colored duvet. It puffed up around her.
He toed off his boots and lay next to her, drawing back to look into her eyes. Her hands went to her buttons, finishing what he had started. He pushed the open shirt over her shoulders and she took her arms out of it.
“So beautiful. You’re so beautiful for me, aren’t you?” He kissed her mouth softly, reverently.
She stared up at him, at his big blue eyes, his long thick eyelashes, the stubble of darkness on his strong chin. She ran her hand over it. He smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled. He smiled often, he had laugh lines. Her body tingled all the way from where his lips met hers to her toes. Ben’s powerful leg stretched over the top of hers and she could feel his hardness
pressing into her hip. Her other hand reached for him.
His kisses grew stronger, in a frenzied hunger. Every nerve ending in her body hummed, throbbing, heat rushed through her veins. “Ben,” she breathed.
They broke apart, each removing their own clothes. His hand came back to her hair, tipping her head back, he kissed his way over her lips, to her chin, then throat, then to her breasts. She felt his breath on her stomach as he continued working his way down her body.
Sensation sizzled across her skin, an inferno built inside her. She gave a whimper and in a flash he was inside her, once again she had no idea when he had donned a condom.
“Don’t move,” he whispered. “Shh, be still, just let me feel you.”
Liv couldn’t hold herself still, she ached to move against him. Slowly he started to move again. Too slowly. She arched to him and he moved faster, harder, slamming himself into her. Pleasure began to flow from the center of her out to her fingertips and toes. A coiling tension rose inside her. He took her higher and higher until she burst with a sweet sensation flooding her, she cried out.
“That’s it, oh Liv,” Ben groaned as he came apart with her.
They stayed like that, both stopped moving, slumped together in the softness of the duvet. Her head was spinning as she felt his lips begin to work their way back up the side of her neck, beneath her ear, across her chin, and up to brush back over her lips. “Liv,” he breathed, like a prayer. He kissed each of her eyelids, then back to her mouth, where he kissed each corner.
“How did you know where I lived?” She asked, when she felt as though she could finally speak again.
“It’s a secret.”
“Paige?”
“As long as you won’t be mad, yes, Paige.”
“How long can you stay?”
“All week. Or as long as you’ll have me.”
“We’ll see how it goes,” she said as she moved to stretch out on top of him, skin on skin, body on body. “I need to go take care of Micah. Can I interest you in a ride later? Maybe around sunset?”
“Sounds like heaven.” He didn’t say that anything would sound like heaven as long as he was with her. He wanted her and he planned to have her. He was into this deeper than she was. By the end of the week, he’d change that.
And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) Page 7