by Tiana Cole
A teary smile spread Amanda’s face. “Nothing gets by you does it?”
“What happened? Do I need to kneecap the handsome horse instructor?”
A half-sob, half-laugh escaped at Mandy’s words. “It wouldn’t do any good, Misty. He’s gone.” She’d broken down then, letting out harsh ugly sobs that shook her body as her cries echoed around the small apartment. “Hang on,” she said on a shaky breath when a knock sounded at the door.
The door opened and Misty stomped in. “Goodness girl you’re a hot mess. Come here and let Misty make you feel better.” She grabbed Amanda in her arms and held her while the sobs shook them both with their violent ferocity.
Amanda didn’t know how much time had passed but she was out of tears—for the moment—and Misty extracted herself before disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes. She took the time to splash cold water on her face and give herself a quick pep talk. “Get over him. He doesn’t love you and he never did.” It hurt like hell to hear the words, hear her fears spoken aloud, but she needed to remember that they were the truth. That was the only way she could survive this. Survive losing him. If she ever had him to begin with.
“What’s all this?” She looked at her southwestern party tray loaded up with goodies.
Misty smiled. “I figured one of these would help you stop crying long enough to tell me what happened.”
She fell onto the cushion next to her best friend and blew out a long breath as she stared off into space. “I don’t need anything to tell you of my latest bout of stupidity, unfortunately.” She sat, stiff and numb, and told her friend the truth about the man she’d fallen for. “He was never just an equestrian coach. He’s the second born son of the King and Queen of Silmaña. He’s a prince. And he left because his brother was in a very serious car accident.” It was hard to believe a relationship she thought would be her very last, could be summed up so quickly.
“Oh Amanda, I’m so sorry honey. Have you heard from him?”
Tears fell as she shook her head. That’s the part that hurt more than anything because it took away the last vestige of hope for the heartsick. Not hearing from him had told her what she feared was true. “He never loved me Misty. I was busy falling in love with him and he was just…biding his time.”
“I’ll kill him!” She paused thoughtfully. “What do you think the charge will be for killing a prince?”
“The same as it is for killing anyone, I’d imagine.” A small smile teased the corners of her mouth at Misty’s musings. “I don’t want him dead or hurt. I just want him out of my head and my heart.”
“That’s it.” Misty stood and went over to her bedroom area, separated by the rest of the large room by a silk screen. “You’re coming home with me. Thanksgiving is just a few days away and you need to be around people who love you.”
Exactly no one, she thought morosely. “I don’t want to bring my black cloud of despair to your dinner table Misty. I appreciate the offer, really I do, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Too bad because I think it’s exactly what you need. Surround yourself with family who loves you.” She continued to pack up things into a hot pink duffle bag as she spoke. “Your heart isn’t going to heal overnight sweetie, but maybe being around friends will make it hurt just a little bit less.”
She thought about that while Misty gathered lingerie, toiletries and shoes. Amanda knew better than most just how heartbreak never truly healed. The ache just lessened but it was always there, and all you could do to maintain your sanity was learn to live with the pain. “Fine. I’ll go with you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to entertain me. But I’ll probably lose my mind being here for a full week on my own.” Elite Academy took the entire week of Thanksgiving off so the campus would be empty.
Just like me.
~
“You were right,” she told Misty on Thanksgiving morning as she mixed the ingredients for her world famous stuffing. “Being here is good, even though you guys are so in love it hurts, it’s also good to see.” Being alone on campus would have depressed her further, and given how rundown she felt lately, she couldn’t afford to waste away any further.
Misty smiled as she rubbed seasoned butter all over the turkey and under the skin. She swore it made the skin crispy without drying the meat out but Amanda wasn’t sure. Then again, she wasn’t an expert. “I’m glad to hear it because we love having you here. In fact if you want to move back, you could stay with us until you get on your feet.”
Amanda shook her head. “I can’t do that, Misty. I appreciate the offer but I can’t leave Elite Academy. The job is really good and when my contract is up I’ll be able to go wherever I want.”
“But will you do that? Or will you stay there and wallow in the memories?”
“No. I won’t do that Misty, I can’t. I will move on. But for now that’s where I need to be.” She spent most of last night working on a plan for the future and it included a graduate degree and a better teaching job someplace else.
“Okay but the offer is there if you ever need it.” Misty placed the turkey in a bag inside the large aluminum pan and shoved it in the oven. “Now I believe we deserve some breakfast.”
Amanda nodded and felt the first roil of her belly. “Maybe just toast for me,” she said as the coffee grinder whirred over her voice. Something wasn’t right but she couldn’t say what.
“Toast for breakfast? On Thanksgiving? No way!”
Amanda watched Misty move around like a whirlwind, dumping the ground coffee and adding water before flipping the switch and moving to the next thing. Bacon. “Misty seriously I…,” her words were cut off as moisture flooded her mouth and her stomach flipped inside her body. Amanda realized what was happening and ran to the downstairs bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach. Weird, she thought as she rinsed her mouth and splashed her face with more cold water.
“You okay?” Misty’s green eyes filled with concern.
She nodded though not quite sure if she was. “I’ve been depressed and tired lately, I guess a screwed up stomach is the next logical step.”
“Your steel stomach is messed up?” Misty shook her head in disbelief, knowing Amanda could eat any disgusting or odd combination of foods with no negative side effects. “Sweetie, are you…could you be?”
“What Misty?”
“Pregnant.”
What? No! Could she? “I don’t think so. We were only intimate for like two weeks.”
Misty chuckled. “It only takes a few seconds to make a baby.”
It was then that Amanda’s mind flashed to the Blueberry Inn, and those two nights they came together—all night—without regard for protection. And those nights at his place, or hers, where they loved without abandon. Or protection. “Dammit! Will I ever learn?” Finally she crumbled to the floor in the middle of the kitchen, a pile of tears and emotions. “How could I have been so damn stupid?”
“Stop!” Misty’s shout was enough to at least stop the sobbing noises, if not the tears. “Don’t cry, not yet anyway. I have a test upstairs in my bathroom. I’m going to get it and you’re going to have some water. Be right back.”
Ten long minutes later Amanda stepped from the bathroom, brown eyes pouring tears out. “It’s positive. I’m pregnant.”
“I guess its time for you to contact Alex.”
Chapter 10
“Mother I need to speak with you and Father.” Alex stood in the doorway of the formal dining room where his parents took breakfast every morning without fail.
“Good morning, Alex. How are you feeling?” His father slapped him on the back, gifting him with a warm smile.
“I’m alright, Father. How are you?”
“Better today. I have a good feeling about things.”
Alex wished he had that same feeling as his father and sister-in-law. For him, Stefan’s health problems were a prison of obligation and worry. The longer he was out of commission, the more of his respons
ibilities Alex had to hoist upon his shoulders. “Here’s to hoping.” He stood at one end of the table looking at his parents. His father Stefan was fair and light just like his sons and his mother Louise had beautiful olive toned skin, dark hair and gold-flecked brown eyes.
“You wanted to speak with us?”
Of course his mother was eager to get to business. “Yes. My time in America clarified quite a few things for me. Most importantly, I fell in love.” He spent quite a long time telling his parents about Amanda, her quiet grace and beauty, her kindness and big heart. His father’s smiling face gave him hope, but as he finished he took in the Queen’s wretched scowl. “I won’t live without her..” He stared at his parents intently making sure they could understand exactly what he was saying.
“You most certainly will! I will not have you in love with some commoner,” she spat the word as though it were contagious. “I forbid it, Alexander, and that’s that.”
He stood stunned, staring at his mother in shock at her behavior. Alex felt torn. Defying his parents had never been high on his priority list and doing so now when they were stressed over Stefan wasn’t smart. Still, “You cannot forbid to do anything, Mother.”
“I most certainly can. You are my son and I want what’s best for you. If you’re ready to settle down there are many suitable women--,”
“No!” He quickly cut her off before she could finish the thought. “I am telling you right now Mother so listen carefully. If for any reason I have to assume the throne, I will not take a wife other than Amanda.” Their dark gazes clashed across the table silently.
“You most certainly will! Providing an heir is your duty.”
“And as second son, choosing my own bride is my right.” Alex began to pace, raking a hand through his hair which had grown much too long in the month and a half since he’d returned home. “We both know you never wanted me to be King and I’m fine with that, Stefan will be a great King. But I’ve asked for two things in my life, a year of freedom and Amanda, and you’ve denied me both.” With a shake of his head, Alex walked away from his mother, disgusted with her.
“Alex there you are!” Elena rushed to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward.
“Where are you taking me Elena? I’m in no mood for company after my conversation with Mother.”
That brought her up short and she turned a concerned face up at him. “It didn’t go so well?”
He scoffed bitterly. “That would be an understatement, but I will not be deterred.”
“Good,” she gripped his forearm, offering a supportive squeeze. “But now we really must go, Stefan is awake!”
“Why didn’t you say so?” Picking up his pace, Alex reached for Elena’s hand and pulled her behind him as he stalked through the gold and marble halls of the palace. “Let’s take my car.”
Finally a relieved breath whooshed out of him as he stood outside his brother’s door, giving him and his wife a few minutes of celebratory intimacy. Stefan was awake and that was good news.
The door opened to reveal Elena’s bright smile, the one that had hooked his brother from the beginning. “He’s awake and asking for you.”
Wide blue eyes rounded in shock. Without another word he rushed past Elena, stopping at his brother’s side. “You certainly won’t be winning any beauty contests this week, brother.”
With a weak smile Stefan tried to laugh. “Still better than your ugly mug,” he responded good naturedly.
“Damn I’m so glad to hear your voice, brother.” Overcome with emotion, Alex bent over and wrapped his big brother in his arms. “I was so damn worried.”
“That you’d have to be King, I’m sure.” That same dry tone told him his brother was doing well.
“That too,” he blushed at his brother’s accurate and blunt assessment.
“And he’s in love,” Elena added in a sing-song voice.
“The lit teacher?” Alex nodded, pleased he remembered. “I guess that answers the question about your memory then?”
“The doctor says the fact that I’m awake and responsive is good. The swelling is gone so now they need to make sure nothing is broken.” Stefan spoke so bluntly about his injuries and his recovery, that it was startling. “They’ll need to check my motor skills and all that, but Dr. Portofino is hopeful.”
“That’s great news, Stef! The parents will be happy to hear it.” Alex heard the anger in his own voice and knew his brother would too.
“What happened?”
Alex turned to look out the window while Elena explained. “They, well the Queen, didn’t take it so well. She forbid him from seeing her or even talking about her. To her.”
“Ignore her Alex. I am awake and I will be fine, go back to America.”
He rejected that outright. “I can’t leave now Stef, you’ve just come out of a coma! I’m here for now until you return home with a clean bill of health, but I messed up. Bad.”
“Then fix it. What’s the point of this money and influence if it can’t help you get the one thing you really want?”
“Old age has turned you into a romantic.”
“No, practical. I loved Elena for much longer than I realized and my only objection was being forced to marry her. Mother is hopeful you’ll have the same luck with a royal because she doesn’t know the truth.”
“Go and call her so I can visit with my husband. Alone,” Elena clarified, her small frame grunting under the force of trying to push him out of the room. “When you’re done you can have him.”
“Thanks honey,” Stefan deadpanned from behind them.
“I’ll be back,” Alex told him and left the room. Outside he sat on a bench enjoying the early afternoon sunshine splashed across the garden, staring at his phone. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Amanda in six weeks, could he just call as though nothing happened?
I have to.
He dialed and waited. “You have reached Amanda Haze, I’m not here right now, but--,” he hung up and resisted the urge to hurl the phone at the brick wall. She probably wouldn’t answer his calls or his texts, given the depths of her pain.
But maybe…
~
“This has to stop!” Amanda pulled the mail from her box and groaned at the familiar slanted script on the thick ivory envelopes. Alex had taken to writing her letters—very old school, according to Misty—for the past several weeks. What the letters said, she had no idea because she refused to open any of them. After he failed to respond to her, on two dozen separate occasions, she wasn’t much interested in what he had to say now. So as she’d done each time, Amanda scrawled ‘return to sender’ on the envelope and shoved it back into her mailbox. I really should get a stamp, she thought and hauled the letters inside with her.
She’d done everything she could to reach him and let him know about they were expecting a baby. She’d written and received no response. She’d called only to be put on hold endlessly or simply told he was unavailable. Never one to overstay her welcome—whether in a hostile foster home or a bad relationship—Amanda had received the hint.
And given up.
Now though she had other things on her mind, so she grabbed the rest of the mail, shoved it in her purse and hopped in her car. Today was her first real doctor’s appointment since she’d taken the pharmacy store pregnancy test and despite everything Amanda found herself excited to learn more about impending motherhood. Being a single mother was not how she pictured her life playing out, especially at the beginning of her career, but now it was done and she was prepared to do the right thing. She had accepted her fate and was determined to make life as good as possible for her and her baby.
My baby. The words were surreal as they rolled off her tongue, even still a smile curled her mouth up as she took in the beautiful snow capped mountains in the distance. The drive was beautiful and quiet, soothing her frayed nerves as she drew closer to the medical center. “Deep breaths,” she reminded herself and shoved the gearshift into park mode. The building was a tan bric
k color, as nondescript as every other medical building in the country with uniform windows and silver placards listing all the experts contained within.
Even the lobby was exactly the same as the gynecologist she went to for the past few years with flyers and pamphlets on everything from raising babies to diagnosing childhood illnesses. After giving the receptionist her name and filling out the requisite forms for new patients, she sat quietly as her mind churned, thinking about things she shouldn’t. Things like Alex and his unanswered letters and calls. Wondering what he wanted and why had he decided to get in touch with her months after his abrupt departure.
“Amanda Haze.”
She stood at the sound of her name, mind still foggy with thoughts she shouldn’t be having. The mindless chatter of the nurse taking her vitals was the perfect background noise for her thunderous thoughts and by the time she was on the exam table her mind was a racing mess. A long breath escaped, drawing the doctor’s attention.
“It’s alright to be worried Amanda, but you’re young and healthy so there’s no reason to worry about a thing.”
Easy for you to say. Her smile came fast but they both knew it wasn’t genuine. “Not worried, but nothing says ‘real’ like sitting on an exam table covered in butcher paper.”
The doctor laughed along with her. “That’s certainly true. Now get comfortable because we’ll do an internal exam first and then take a look at the little guy or girl to determine how far along you are.”
Amanda fought the urge to tell the doctor she was pretty sure when she’d conceived, because it didn’t matter. Nothing that happened before mattered. “Alright, let’s do this then.” Leaning back with her eyes glued to the ceiling, she answered questions as best she could, groaning at the discomfort of the internal exam. But when the ultrasound machine was pulled over, she felt a flutter in her heart travel down to her belly.
“Are you ready, Mom?”
No. Not even a little. “Yep,” she answered tightly, eyes stuck on the black monitor. Little attention was paid to the ice cold gel on her belly or the little wand searching for, something she was sure but what she had no idea. Then she heard it, an underwater beat. And it was fast.