Glancing at the clock, he sat and waited. Soon he found himself once again struggling to read through files he cared nothing about. He stood and walked to the door. He paused, trying to decide if he wanted to be perceived as impatient, realized that perception was in this case reality, and stalked out to the hall. By moving two feet to the right and craning his neck, he could see that the girls’ door was closed. Gavin stood silently, listening for any clue that might reveal Hannah’s location. Nothing.
In frustration, he strode up the steps, the plush carpeting masking his angry footfalls. He proceeded directly to the room he detested, and knocked on the door. It wasn’t closed entirely and the double doors fell open at his knock. He stepped back, startled for a moment, almost afraid of what he would find. Nearly instantly, he realized that the room was vacant. Hannah wasn’t here either.
Now he was on a mission. If she thought to avoid him for the remainder of the night, she had better think again. He would never allow that to happen. He needed her presence too much for that to ever be an option. He rounded the corner to the kitchen, and then walked into the keeping room. He knew she loved this room, but once again, the room was strangely empty. On the coffee table was evidence that she had been there, however. She had left behind an untouched mug of tea.
Without thinking, Gavin picked it up. This was her comfort drink. She needed her comfort drink. A frown affixed to his face, he moved to the French door that stood ajar several feet away. Peeking out of it, he realized the lights were on over the pergola, like a beacon shining on Hannah. Her arms were wrapped around one of the posts; her face pressed against the cool white wood with her eyes squeezed shut.
Before she even realized he was there, Gavin had stepped to within two feet of her with his arm outstretched, offering her the tea she had left on the coffee table. “Hannah,” he said gently, “please take this. I know you need it.”
Slowly, her eyes opened, and even more gradually, they focused on the mug he offered her. “Thanks,” she whispered. Hannah grasped the mug and pulled it toward her until she was able to cup it in both hands. She let the warmth seep through her fingers, then course through her. And she knew if she just brought the rim to her lips, she could be warm inside and out. Slowly, she took a sip, and as she did so, she stared at Gavin.
“I suppose you’re eager to lecture me now,” she said quietly, “so have at it.” She gripped the mug tightly in both hands and stared at him evenly.
Gavin simply shook his head. Now was neither the time nor the place. He had to understand what had happened to change her so. “What’s going on with you, Hannah?” He asked gently.
Her head dropped as she struggled to find the words to explain all the emotions wreaking havoc on her demeanor. Finally, in exasperation, she shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said quietly as she looked away.
“Okay,” he said calmly, “let’s start with an easier question. Where did you go when you left the house today?” Gavin concentrated on maintaining a calm exterior, even if it killed him.
She sighed. “I had to go to a child support hearing,” she said while staring at him with wide-open eyes.
It was as though she was willing him to ask the right questions so she could give him the correct answers, the answers he so desperately needed. “So, Amy was with you,” Gavin said. And Hannah nodded in response. “All right. I take it the hearing went badly?” He hadn’t had to deal with that aspect of divorce proceedings.
Suddenly, the dam broke and Hannah spewed forth the details of the hearing. “He brought the stripper with him,” she mourned. “I can’t believe he brought her with him!” She set her mug on the railing as she shook from the emotion of it all.
Gavin studied her. Was it that she was still attracted to her ex? Was that why she was so upset? Or, he desperately hoped, was it something else? “Do you still want to be with him?” He asked, even surprising himself. Truth be told, he had to know.
The look on Hannah’s face said it all. She was revolted, disgusted at the idea. “No,” she said adamantly. “I have no desire to ever be with that…uh, with Brett…again!”
Now they were getting somewhere. “Then what’s troubling you so?”
She exhaled slowly for a moment. “I hate having it shoved in my face.” She shook her head. “I hate having to see that he’s happy with her in a way that he never was with me.” She fixed her expressive eyes on him. “It’s knowing that I’m not enough. It’s having my pride continually shattered. It’s the constant blow to my ego. It’s feeling so alone…” her voice trailed off.
“Is that what you feel?” Gavin asked incredulously. “You feel alone?” He opened his arms and took a step toward her, but she backed away. “Let me be close to you,” he said.
Hannah stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. “I can’t,” she murmured, shaking her head.
He wondered if it wasn‘t the idea of a relationship that scared her, the commitment? He tried a new approach. “Don’t you just ever want to be close to someone? No strings? No expectations?”
“Yes, but…” she said hesitantly.
“But what?” He walked toward her with open arms and watched helplessly as she backed away.
“I’m too scared,” she admitted in a whisper. This time she didn’t back away, this time she didn’t drop her gaze.
Gavin knew she was out of space. There was no more room for her to back away. He had her pinned against the corner of the railing. Slowly he stepped towards her as if he were trying to tame a wild mare. “I won’t hurt you,” he murmured, reaching for her.
She knew she was trapped. It was no use trying to fight him. What was she fighting anyway? She closed her eyes. “I don’t believe you.” Yet she yearned for him to touch her anyway. She wanted to feel connected to someone, if only for a little while.
And as she thought of the ramifications, she knew that the cost could be great. Only Gavin truly had the power to destroy her. It wasn’t like it had been with Brett. What she stood to lose here was far more critical than her pride. Here, she could lose her heart. Brett had never had that.
Gavin wrapped his arms around her and drew her into the warmth of his embrace. He could feel her stiffen at first, unwilling to yield, unwilling to admit defeat. Instead of being discouraged by her reaction, he welcomed the challenge. Ever so gently, he caressed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. Slowly, almost unnoticeably, she began to melt into him. And gradually her emotions broke and the tears that had remained unspent for so long sought release. He wiped and kissed them away.
“Just let me hold you tonight,” he murmured against her temple. He could feel her begin to stiffen again. “We won’t go to bed. We’ll just build a fire and lay out here under the stars all night long.” He hadn’t really thought this through. The old Gavin would have checked the weather report to ensure that the temperature wouldn’t drop too low, that there was zero chance of rain overnight. This new Gavin cared only about making Hannah happy at any cost.
There would be blankets and a fire to protect them from the chill. There was a covered lanai to protect them from the rain. All that mattered was that Hannah felt comforted and loved. He swallowed hard.
Without waiting for her response, he scooped her into his arms and deposited her in the nearest wicker cushioned lounge chair. “Don’t move,” he urged. He retrieved her tea from the railing and gave it to her. “I’ll be right back.”
Rushing inside, Gavin grabbed the down comforter out of the linen closet, and a flamer to light all the candles. As an after thought, he picked up a starter log for the outdoor fireplace and made his way back to Hannah.
She had listened to him at least. She was sitting almost precisely as he had left her. One leg was curled beneath her and she was clutching the mug in both hands, slowly sipping away. She had a look on her face that was a combination of anticipation and trepidation. At the moment, he wasn’t sure which was winning.
Walking around the patio, he lit
one candle and then the next. Periodically, he would glance at her for a reaction. She was staring at him wide eyed, but he had the sneaking suspicion that a smile was working its way to the surface. Gavin knelt at the fireplace before her and tried to concentrate on building a fire. Because Hannah was sitting right there he was suddenly self-conscious. The starter log caught instantly and the rest of the wood followed soon after. Convinced that the blaze would maintain itself long enough for him to relax, Gavin stood and smiled at Hannah.
From the look on her face he could tell that she was blushing and he hoped it was from excitement and not shame. He closed the distance to the lounger and sat beside her. “There’s nothing wrong with needing someone to hold onto once in a while,” he murmured into her hair.
For Hannah, the entire experience had a surreal quality to it. For some reason, her boss, the man she lived with, who was rich and handsome and intelligent and successful…he wanted to hold her and ease her sorrow. And she wanted to let him. For the second time that night, Gavin scooped her into his arms. He lifted her as though she weighed no more than the down comforter he had brought for them.
Easing himself onto the lounger, he carefully positioned them and once satisfied, covered them. The way he tucked them in moved her more than she could express. Suddenly, she felt the need to hide her face against his neck and breathe him in. He smelled like leather. And the way he held her felt like security. She wrapped a hand around his neck and was surprised to hear his heart beat erratically at her touch. Testing her theory, she tried again, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand. Laying her hand over his heart, she discovered that she had achieved the same results. Smiling, Hannah nestled in closer.
“What are you smiling about?” He asked mirthfully.
“What makes you think I’m smiling?” She challenged.
He chuckled. “I can feel your face move.” He stroked her cheek. “Tell me.”
Her newfound knowledge made her feel powerful and bold, so she quickly revealed what had made her react. “I can make your heart beat faster,” she said as she leaned away from him so she could watch his reaction.
“I’m not surprised,” he commented absently. At the time he was concentrating on tracing her jaw line with his finger.
His touch was breathing life back into her. She had forgotten what it was like to feel. Like a drug, his caress was intoxicating. Her eyelids drooped halfway as she allowed emotion to over rule reason. What would one night hurt?
Suddenly Gavin spoke. “I bet I can make your heart beat faster,” he murmured as he stared at her.
“Mmm, how’s that?” She offered a lazy smile.
His face grew serious as he studied her. She felt him doing that thing again, measuring the distance. And she knew without him acknowledging it that her heart was racing. Lucky for him, he hadn’t commented. That would have ruined the moment because right now all she could concentrate on was the need for his lips on hers.
Not one to disappoint, Gavin dropped his head several degrees to connect with her hungry lips. It was as before, a surge of passion washed over her and nearly knocked the breath from her. His hand was pulling her closer, but she couldn’t see how that would be possible unless she were to suddenly fuse with him. And when they finally broke free, she touched her lips in surprise at the tingling sensation left there.
It was too much. He was finally getting a chance to be close to her. He couldn’t scare her off by coming on too strong. “I’m just going to hold you for the rest of the night. You’re safe with me Hannah,” Gavin said softly as he held her face against his shoulder.
Over the next few minutes, Gavin felt her body slowly relax; slowly grow limp, until at last he knew she was asleep. And that was when he felt most comfortable talking to her, telling her what he never would have told anyone. “I think I may be falling in love with you, Hannah.” He sighed and brushed her hair away from her face. “Funny thing about love,” he mused. “You never see it coming. For me, you snuck in like a thief in the night and stole my heart.” Then he nestled them deeper under the covers, wrapped his arms more tightly around her, and fell asleep.
Before the sun could wake them Gavin was already staring at Hannah, still asleep in his arms. Her hands were curled up under her chin, and she had the comforter drawn up to her ears. He ran his fingers through her silky chestnut locks and watched her slowly stretch in response. He smiled eager to bask in the glory of their night together. It wasn’t the first time a woman had spent a sexless night in his arms, but it was the best. For some reason, every experience with Hannah seemed sweeter, richer.
Gavin watched in fascination as Hannah snuggled closer to him, nuzzled her face into his neck. He was ready to lean over and plant a kiss on her forehead, or temple, or nose, or all of the above in no particular order when the phone rang. He inched closer to the side of the lounger so he could stop the incessant ringing before it disturbed the beauty lying in his arms. He glanced at the identity of the caller and sighed.
“Yes, mother,” he said bitterly. His plans for this morning had very little to do with dealing with his mother and everything to do with spending quality time with Hannah. He had closed the office for Good Friday and wanted his plans for the holiday weekend to be a surprise for her and the girls.
“Don’t take that tone with me, young man,” Mrs. Meyers warned, “I’m still your mother.”
Rolling his eyes, he sighed. “I’m sorry. Now what has caused you to call me so bright and early on a Friday morning?”
“I’m at the airport,” she began.
Startled, he sat up abruptly and had to grab Hannah to keep her from sliding off his chest. His pleasant mood was quickly dissipating. “Which airport,” he snapped.
“Miami,” Mrs. Meyers answered. “Now, I’ll need you to come pick me up.”
Interrupting again he said, “In Florida? They have car services for that, or if none are available, there are these cute yellow vehicles, I believe they’re called taxis, which should suffice.” His voice was positively dripping in sarcasm.
“No, not in Florida,” his mother said untouched by his foul mood, “I’ll be landing in Charlotte at 10:26am.” She paused for dramatic effect. “I’m coming for Easter. This rift in the family has gone on long enough.”
Even without Hannah’s help, he knew his heart was pounding in his chest. “And just where are you planning on staying?” He asked weakly, already anticipating her response.
Her tongue clicked. “Why, the same place I always stay. I’ll be with you, of course.” She chuckled then said seriously, “Now don’t be late.” And she hung up without even saying goodbye or giving Gavin an opportunity to speak.
Gavin dropped his head back against the lounger, realized that he had missed the pillow, but thinking a few more blows might help, he began to thrust his head back against the hard wicker surface. He had managed to nail his head soundly about three more times before Hannah caught his attention.
“Stop,” she mumbled as she grabbed at his shirt and struggled to open her eyes.
“Huh,” he said, “I had you pegged for a morning person.” He stared down at her seriously.
“Depends on how I wake up,” Hannah responded. “And I had you pegged for sane.”
Sighing, he explained. “My mother called. I have to leave in a few hours to pick her up at the airport.” Gavin watched Hannah, awaiting her reaction. Whatever he expected, it wasn’t this.
Hannah burst from the chair, vaulting to a standing position. “Oh, my God!” She screamed. “I’m going to meet your mother!” She ran her fingers through her hair and began to pace. “How long is she staying? Where is she staying? Doesn’t she know it’s Easter weekend?” And then she turned on him and planted her hands on her waist in a challenge. “Did you know about this in advance?”
Slowly moving to stand on the other side of the lounger, Gavin said wryly, “In response to your questions: yes, I don’t know, here, and apparently.”
“What?” Hannah as
ked in exasperation.
“Yes, you will meet her.” He ticked the questions off on his fingers as he spoke. “I don’t know how long she’s staying. She plans to stay here. And I didn’t know in advance about her arrival. She does this. I’m convinced it’s to annoy me.” He planted his hands on his waist, mirroring Hannah.
Suddenly, she softened. He hadn’t sprung this on her. He was as surprised and unnerved as she was. Slowly she walked toward the end of the lounger. “Come here,” she sighed. Hesitantly, he moved to join her. Once they were toe to toe, she wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. “So, we’re in this together, right?” She asked against his chest.
Instantly he relaxed. “Yes.” He said. And liking the sound of it, he repeated, “Together.”
Second Chances Page 15