by Lucy Monroe
She appeared so fragile, her step halting. Thea had not realized. Letters did not show age or infirmity. Her aunt's obvious weak condition hit her like a blow. Had she waited one more year to make her trip to England, would it have been too late?
Taking Thea's arms in a grip astonishingly strong for such a frail-looking woman, Lady Upworth pulled her into a tight embrace. Thea stood unmoving, unable to respond for all of ten seconds, then her arms lifted of their own volition and wrapped around her aunt. This was her flesh and blood. Family. She was no longer alone in the world. She hugged her aunt fiercely. They stayed that way for long moments, Thea's heart full at the thought of being part of a family again.
Finally, Lady Upworth pulled away. "Let me look at you."
Then she did just that. Eyes the same blue as Thea's own stared at her, seeming to soak in her every feature.
"You are the twin of your mother." A shadow crossed the older woman's face. "I will always regret sending her to the West Indies."
Thea shook her head. "Had you not, she would have lost me."
The older woman's eyes filled with pain. "One never knows what would have been, but she died out there. She never saw Jared again and your father…" Lady Upworth's voice trailed off.
Thea knew what her aunt meant to say, and didn't want her to. Not in front of Drake. She did not want him to know the full truth of her father's wickedness. It shamed her. She cast him a sidelong glance. Had he noticed the reference to her brother?
"Do not think of that now," she said to her aunt.
Lady Upworth nodded, but tears sparkled in her eyes. "You are right. That is water under the bridge. You are here now. I truthfully did not think I would live to see the day."
Guilt flayed Thea as her aunt's words confirmed her initial fears upon seeing the older woman. She was ill.
Drake offered his handkerchief to Lady Upworth.
She took it and dabbed at her eyes, inhaling a deep breath. "Thank you—Mr. Drake, is it?"
Remembering her manners, Thea made the introductions.
Lady Upworth looked thoughtful for a moment. "You're a relation of Lady Boyle, aren't you?"
"Yes. She's my great-aunt."
Sudden understanding illuminated her aunt's eyes.
Sizing Drake up, as if he were a horse about to be auctioned, Lady Upworth asked, "You're Lady Noreen's son, aren't you?"
Thea felt her insides tighten. She shot Drake a quick look, trying to gauge his reaction to her aunt's statement.
Drake didn't flinch under the older woman's regard. "Yes."
"I see." The words held a wealth of meaning and meant nothing at all. "Thea sailed on your ship to England."
Drake, still as a becalmed sea, simply nodded.
She turned to Thea. "Why did you not sail on one of Merewether's ships?"
Thea was not sure how to answer. She didn't want to share her concerns with her aunt, and yet, she hesitated to lie. That clear-eyed blue gaze was entirely too discerning.
She had so many secrets, they began to weigh on her like coal dust, making her feel gritty and unclean. "If I had waited for one of our ships, it would have been another month. I would have missed part of the Season."
"I see." There was that comment again. "You're here now. That is what matters, however it was managed."
Lady Upworth moved to one of the chairs near the fireplace and sat down. She indicated with an elegant wave of her hand that Thea and Drake should do the same. Thea sat on the fainting couch and Drake sat next to her.
Lady Upworth raised her eyebrows, but said nothing.
"Lady Boyle thought you might want to join her and Thea shopping for her wardrobe for the Season."
Her aunt's eyes lit up even as Thea tried to stifle a groan. She didn't want to waste time shopping while she could be investigating the thefts from her company.
"Of course I will. We'll move Thea here first thing tomorrow and I'll make appointments with the modiste, the hairdresser—"
Drake cut her off. "Thea will be staying with my aunt."
His tone did not invite comment, but her aunt was no more intimidated by it than Thea had ever been.
Lady Upworth drew herself up until her spine was stiff. "Nonsense. She will stay with her family."
Drake's gaze snagged Thea's. "You said she was a friend of the family."
Chewing on her lip, Thea tried to look away from the inquiry in his eyes, but found she could not. "I…"
"It was a necessary deception to protect her from her father. Neither she nor her mother could ever acknowledge the connection for fear he would discover their hiding place."
Drake did not reply to her aunt.
Instead he pinned Thea with unrelenting eyes. "You could have told me."
She wanted to deny it, say he had no more right to know her secrets than anyone else, but the words would not come.
Instead she nodded her head. "Yes, I should have told you, but it did not seem important and then we were arguing."
She willed him to understand something she did not fully comprehend herself. She only knew that she hadn't felt completely safe admitting her connection to Lady Upworth until they had met.
"So you two have been arguing." Her aunt's smile was knowing. "From your letters, I gained the impression that you have more than the average amount of spirit for a young lady."
Thea felt her cheeks heat. "I assure you, the arguments are not all of my making."
Lady Upworth laughed softly, the sound melodious. "Most ladies would not admit to having started any arguments."
Thinking of her panicked refusal to Drake's offer of marriage, Thea knew she was responsible for at least one of their disagreements. She could have handled things so much differently. Beginning by not throwing herself at the poor man.
She shrugged. "I may as well admit that though Mama tried to raise me to be a lady, I fall short in many areas."
Suddenly, Lady Upworth's gaze shifted to Drake. "What do you think? Does my niece fall short in any way?"
Thea tensed and slid a sidelong glance at Drake's impassive profile. She wished her aunt had not put him on the spot like this.
"She ignores the conventions, talks with sailors like they are gentlemen, harangues most everyone she meets about the issue of abolition, puts herself at risk without the least thought, is stubborn enough for five women, argues over every trifle, and has far too much consideration for her maid to be a typical English lady."
Thea gasped. She hadn't expected him to sing her praises, but he certainly didn't need to list her every flaw aloud to her aunt. She tried to unobtrusively scoot away from him by shifting slightly toward the arm of the fainting couch. He moved with her until she was pinned between him and the arm.
She glared at him and hissed, "There doesn't seem to be enough room on here for both of us. Perhaps you should move to the chair."
He shrugged. "I'm comfortable."
"Well, I'm not." She made to rise.
His hot gaze pinned her in place. "Yes, you are."
How dare he argue with her? She knew if she were comfortable or not. "I assure you, I am not."
He turned to her aunt. "You see? She is difficult."
Thea made a garbled sound and tried discreetly to shove him off the fainting couch. He didn't budge and that only seemed to infuriate her more. Her spine was so rigid, no one would ever know she wasn't wearing a corset.
He couldn't resist pushing her just a bit farther. "She doesn't act like a proper lady on most occasions."
"I see." Lady Upworth's smile and voice told Drake that she found her niece's reaction to his comments amusing.
He was glad. He'd pushed Thea into responding with her usual open emotion immediately, wanting to see her aunt's reaction. If Lady Upworth had responded with disapproval, Drake would have protected Thea from her.
He also wanted Lady Upworth to know what she was up against in presenting her niece to Society. Thea would not be a shy maiden, easily assimilated into the ton. She was an
Original and needed to be respected as such.
He smiled at the obvious approval in the older woman's eyes when she looked at Thea. "I believe you do see."
Lady Upworth nodded. "Yes, indeed. It will be a pleasure introducing you to Society, my dear."
Thea's shocked gaze flew to her aunt. "You can't be serious. Didn't you hear what Drake said?" She sighed and shifted her gaze to her clenched fists in her lap. "It's true, you know. I'm not a very proper sort of person at all. In fact, by some standards, I'm a little outrageous."
Lady Upworth laughed again. "Nonsense. You are a delight. I do believe you have found quite the champion in Mr. Drake as well."
Thea's hands fisted more tightly in her lap. "Now I know you are jesting. He didn't champion me, he pilloried me with his low opinion."
He took her hand and squeezed it. "I hold you in the highest regard."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "That is why you listed all my faults for my aunt like a hawker selling his wares?"
He rubbed her palm with his thumb, feeling pleasure at the slight touch. "I was warning her."
"Warning her?" Thea's voice rose until she was almost shouting. "I am not the plague that you need to warn my aunt about me."
"Nay, you are a headstrong female who will find her place amongst the ton if you are protected and presented in the right fashion."
"I don't care about my bloody place in the ton."
"Your aunt does." He indicated the woman now watching them with avid fascination. "Ask her if it is important to her if you are accepted in all the best drawing rooms."
Thea turned her stormy gaze to her aunt. "Is it important to you?"
Lady Upworth smiled reassuringly. "Yes, it is. You needn't worry. With the help of Drake's family, you will be launched with absolute success, I'm sure of it."
Thea's hand had turned in his and now clung tightly. "I'm not a ship."
"No, dear. You are my precious niece and you will cause quite a stir in the ton."
"Perhaps we shouldn't worry about introducing me. After all, I won't be in England long and it seems like it will be quite a bit of work for you. I really don't want any new clothes and I'm sure no one will even notice I am here."
Drake couldn't help it—he laughed.
She gave him a disgruntled look. "Are you laughing at me again, sir?" She turned to her aunt. "I'm sure gentlemen do not laugh at ladies, but Drake forgets that fact regularly."
"Thea, you couldn't go through the Season unnoticed if you tried. You are far too opinionated and fearless to spend much time in London without making yourself known," Drake said.
Lady Upworth added, "I thought you came for the Season."
Drake wondered if Thea noticed the calculated gaze her aunt gave her when making the statement.
"I did." Thea squirmed under her aunt's steady regard. "I mean, that is, I came to spend the Season with you."
"My dear, I would have great pleasure in launching you into Society. You have spent far too long away from your rightful place. It is time you enjoyed the many privileges to which you were born."
"It's just all so different here. Back home, I was just me. Miss Thea. Here, I suppose they will want to call me Lady Thea and expect me to wear corsets even though they are bad for a lady's respiration." Her grip on his hand tightened. "Well, I won't do it. I won't. If I am to become a member of the ton, they will have to take me as I am. I am too old to fit the mold of biddable debutante."
He realized that Thea had experienced enough emotion for the time being. She was beginning to sound slightly hysterical and her aunt looked exhausted, but happy.
"We can discuss your debut later," he said.
"But—" Thea tried to interrupt.
"No one will force you to wear corsets," he promised and stood. "Come. Your aunt is tired."
Lady Upworth sighed and nodded. "My constitution is not what it used to be. Will you come again tomorrow? I should like to spend more time talking." She fixed her niece with a discerning stare. "There are still many things to discuss."
He wanted to know what those things were, but there would be time enough later to grill Thea about the things she had not yet told him. He sensed there were still important pieces of her life he did not understand.
"Yes." Thea leaned down and kissed her aunt's cheek. "I will come tomorrow. Rest now."
Drake ushered her toward the door.
When they got there, he stopped her and turned back to Lady Upworth. "You should be aware that I intend to marry Thea."
Lady Upworth snorted. "I may be old, young man, but I'm not blind."
* * *
Chapter 12
« ^ »
I must find something to occupy my mind and time. Thea is wonderful, but she is not enough. Not when I lie in bed at night wishing for my son and longing for a husband who is both friend and love. How foolish I am to even think of such a thing. Men see marriage very differently from women.
The yellow fever is coming. The islanders say that it comes every year and many die because of it. Oh, God, do not let me die. Make me strong for my daughter.
January 18, 1801
Journal of Anna Selwyn, Countess of Langley
Thea wanted to shake Drake. Skewering him with her gaze, she sat ramrod straight in the curricle seat beside him. "How could you have said that?"
He flicked the horses' reins, and the vehicle picked up speed. "It's the truth."
She let her breath out in a hiss. "Your truth, but what about the fact that I have refused you?"
"I will convince you."
His complacent assurance made her want to scream. "Sacre bleu. Your arrogance knows no bounds, sir."
His shrug nearly pushed her over the edge of her control. "My arrogance is well matched by your stubbornness."
"It isn't stubbornness. I made a promise and I intend to keep it."
"I would never expect you to do otherwise."
Unaccountably, his easy agreement disappointed her. "Then I cannot marry you."
"Yes, you can. I'm not your father and one day you will accept that fact." He turned his head to briefly catch her gaze. "Your mother would have liked me."
"My mother would have thought you were overbearing beyond belief."
"Perhaps. But she would have liked me."
"How can you be so sure? You never even knew her."
"Because I am a man of honor. It wasn't your father's strength that destroyed your family. It was his lack of integrity."
She shot Drake a penetrating look. Could he know the full truth? The horror of her father's final betrayal? No, surely not. "What do you mean?"
"Only a man lacking honor would be so certain his wife had none."
She couldn't fault his reasoning. If he were right and her father's baseness was the true source of trouble in her parents' marriage, then what did that say for her promise to her mother? No one could accuse Drake of being without honor. To her way of thinking, he had more than his share of that commodity. It was all so confusing. Life had been so much simpler before she discovered a thief in the company, before she had met Drake and sailed on his ship.
That blasted embezzler had an awful lot to answer for.
She went for a different tack in her argument with Drake. "Well, if you have no thought for my feelings on the matter, consider what an upset you have probably given my aunt."
He went stiff beside her, his hands tightening on the horse's reins. "Are you worried she will not approve your marriage to a bastard? Are you ashamed of our association, Thea?"
The hot fury that welled up in her made her earlier irritation pale into insignificance.
"Don't ever call yourself that again," she growled.
He drew the carriage up in front of his aunt's town house, halting the horses. He turned to her, his face an impassive mask. "That's what I am, Thea. You might as well accept it now."
"You are not a bastard." She gripped her parasol so tightly that she thought the handle might break. Better that than Dr
ake's neck. "You are the illegitimate son of a woman who by all accounts is both a lady and a wonderful mother. Your father is just plain too stupid to acknowledge you, but that doesn't make you a bastard. Do not ever call yourself that name in my hearing again."
She did not realize that her fervent speech had been overheard until a servant cleared his throat. He had come from the house to care for the horses.
Thea ignored him. "Well?"
Drake's expression did not alter, but the heat in his eyes burned her. "If that is your wish."
She nodded. "It is."
Finally, he smiled. "Very well. Can we leave the curricle now? We are starting to draw a crowd."
She looked around them and realized that he spoke the truth. They were the object of interest not only for Lady Boyle's footman, but also for a well-dressed couple in a passing carriage and a nanny with her charge. Had she embarrassed Drake with her outburst? If she had, he had only himself to blame. After all, she would not have been pushed past the point of reason had he not called himself such an atrocious name.
She made no move to leave the carriage. "I thought we were going to the London office of Merewether Shipping when we finished at Lady Upworth's."
"You need some rest." His eyes were softened with compassionate understanding. "It's been an eventful afternoon."
Emotion she did not wish to name filled her chest. She could not afford to weaken toward Drake now.
"I'm not so fainthearted." Besides, she didn't have time to waste. Uncle Ashby was at risk until they unmasked the thief. "Proceed to the office."
His eyes widened at her peremptory tone.
She sighed. "Please."
"Whatever my lady wishes." He followed his sarcastic comment with immediate action, waving the footman back from the curricle. "Inform my aunt that we will be out this afternoon. We will return in time for tea."
The footman nodded his understanding and stepped back as Drake set the horses in motion.
Something inside Drake had shifted and settled when Thea snarled at him like an angry tigress for calling himself a bastard. She didn't deny the circumstances of his birth, but she wouldn't allow him to belittle himself because of them. The reason, he knew, was because those circumstances did not diminish his value in her sight. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She sat perfectly erect, as if she were still irritated by his comment.