by Carina Adams
“I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t me you need to apologize to,” she replied instantly.
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and swallowed before he met my eyes. “Sorry.”
If it were a different time, with a different person, the apology would’ve been cute. Sweet even. He reminded me of a little boy who’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
But it was Rob. And it only irritated me. Fuck him.
“It’s fine.” It was better than the ‘whatever’ I’d wanted to give him. Slightly.
Rob sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why did you come to see Matt? Are you in trouble?”
I glanced at Katie out of the corner of my eye. I still wasn’t ready to say the words out loud, especially to anyone other than my brother. Sensing my hesitation, Katie pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. Taking a step forward, she handed it to Rob.
I didn’t realize what it was until he had unfolded the letter and scanned the first few lines. I was surprised when he paled slightly, his face twisting into a nasty scowl. His jaw ticked as he read the words I’d memorized.
I heard the heavy footsteps on the stairs behind me but didn’t turn to look. I kept my eyes glued to the man in front of me, even when my brother stepped in close behind me.
“What’s going on?” Matt asked, voice still full of sleep.
Forcing a smile onto his face, Rob looked at my brother. “Look, ladies, Sleeping Beauty has awoken at last!”
“Fuck off,” Matt mumbled as he threw an arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my temple. “What’s that?”
Rob shook his head. “Nothing I can’t handle.” He carefully folded the notice back up and slipped it into his wallet before he pushed both back into his pocket. “Let’s go out for breakfast.”
7
Rocker
“Breakfast?” My best friend gaped at me. It was better than the loathing look he’d sent me last night when he barged into Tank’s room.
“Yeah. You know, the first meal of the day. Ring any bells?”
“I know what breakfast is, you douche,” Matty scoffed. “I just think that our sisters need more than a pot of coffee, a jigger of Jameson, and a pack of Marlboro Reds.” He reached out and ruffled Katie’s hair. “Unless Kathryn likes to start her day the same way you do.”
I flipped him off. That’s not what I had for breakfast every day. Sometimes I added Bailey’s.
Jeremy rushed into the living room, flustered as always. His eyes darted around apprehensively before finding Matt. “We’ll be late if we don’t leave soon.”
“Shit!” Matty glanced at the clock on the DVD player. “Fuck.” He pulled away from Cris, kissing the top of her head. “I have a study group I can’t miss,” he explained. “I’ll be back early this afternoon. We’re talking then, yeah?”
Her face fell slightly, but she covered it quickly and nodded. “Yeah. Of course.”
He turned to me, concern for her clear on his face. Yet, there was also irritation, either because he hadn’t had a chance to talk to her or because he wasn’t sure she was safe with me.
I lifted my chin. “I’ve got her.”
I always had her. I’d promised him a long-ass time ago that I’d be there for her, even when he couldn’t. Especially when he couldn’t.
It didn’t matter if she drove me crazy, that she hated the sight of me, or that I wanted to throttle her half the time. I didn’t care that she didn’t know I was always there, a step behind her. All that mattered was that I had her back.
Matty’s shoulders sank a bit in relief.
“Give me five,” he told Jeremy before he shot out of the room.
Jeremy started to leave but hesitated in the doorway. He turned back and lifted a hand in a lame gesture. “Hi.”
An awkward silence fell into the room before I realized that the girls didn’t know who he was and that he didn’t know them. He hadn’t been in juvie with us, and he’d never made the trip north to see them. I pointed at my friend.
“Ladies, this is Jeremy. He goes to school with Matt. Jerm, this is Katie.” My sister smiled warmly. “And this is Crissia.” She waved.
While Jeremy’s eyes drifted over my sister in curiosity, they lingered on Cris far too long. I didn’t like the way they glazed over, as if he didn’t want to look away. She was off limits.
“They’re the sisters,” I explained, my voice gruff.
He wasn’t able to hide the surprise. When he finally pulled his gaze away from Cris and looked at Katie again, he nodded. “I see it. You look just like Rob.” But his attention darted back to Cris just as quickly as it had left. “But you? I never would’ve guessed.”
Cris’s eyebrows skyrocketed and her hand clutched at her chest. “Oh!” Then she chuckled and shook her head. “No. God, no.” She scrunched her nose. “I’m not his sister. Thank goodness!” Her amusement was clear. Then, as if comprehending the meaning of her words, she shrugged apologetically at Kate. “No offense.”
My sister laughed. “Can you imagine? Ugh. You’d fight all the time.”
I frowned at the observation. I rarely argued with Katie. And never with Megs or Colton. We’d gone through hell, the kind that brought siblings together instead of tearing them apart. After that, we’d been raised in three different homes but were still close.
Cris had gone through her own hell, and she’d done it alone. Neither of my sisters had the spark in their eyes that Cris had. Neither had the fight deep in their core that I knew she possessed. That lost piece of her, the pain she had buried deep, could understand my own. Part of me knew that even if Cris and I were closer, even if we liked each other, we’d still bicker just as much.
Jeremy had perked up at Cris’s news, and his eyes glued to her once again. Oh, hell no. I cleared my throat.
“Cris Murphy,” I told him, trying not to smirk as the words sank in.
The jackass’s mouth actually fell open when the dots connected. “Cris!” He threw up a hand. “Holy fuck, you’re Matty’s little sister.”
The smile that split her face was huge. She was proud of that fact. “I am.”
“Wow.” Jeremy shook his head.
“Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” she asked, still smiling.
“In my mind, you’re a little girl.”
“I get that a lot.” Instead of taking offense, Cris shrugged, her eyes twinkling. “Nope. All grown up.”
“Oh, I can see that,” Jeremy flirted with her as if they were the only people in the room.
I stood a little straighter. If the ass didn’t watch his tone, Matty would wreck him. Fuck, I’d hit him on principle. Little sisters were in the no-go zone.
“You go to school with my brother?”
I hated the way she watched him with wonder, actually caring what he had to say. I’d had enough of the idle chitchat. Cris and I had real shit to discuss.
Before Jeremy could answer, I clapped my hands. “I promised these girls breakfast.”
Hearing the words I hadn’t said, the warning tone in my voice, my friend stepped out of our way. His eyes never left Cris. “We’ll talk later?”
The hell they would.
Cris nodded enthusiastically as we shuffled into the hall. At the bottom of the stairs she hesitated. “I need to change. You guys go without me.”
“You look fine.” I muttered, irritated.
“I might actually believe you if you ever bothered to look,” she snapped. She glanced down at her tight jeans and tank top. Then gave me an annoyed look. “I’m changing. And I need a shower.” She turned up the stairs. “Wait for me or don’t. I don’t care.”
Not wanting to deal with Jeremy, I grabbed my smokes off the kitchen counter and headed outside. I wasn’t surprised when Katie followed me.
“She always that pleasant?” I asked as soon as the door closed behind us.
“You always that much of a dick to everyone?” Katie shot back.
I rolled m
y eyes. “I’m still pissed at you.”
My sister shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal and sat in the cheap plastic lawn chair I kept outside for smokers. “Your issue, not mine.”
“When did you get so fucking sassy?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably around the same time Cris started handing me drugs and forcing me to party every weekend. Just wait until you see my transcript. My grades… I mean, wow. Clearly, they’re suffering because we’re too busy sucking dick to pay for the booze instead of studying.”
I took a long drag, pulling the smoke down into my lungs. I’d obviously pissed her off. But that didn’t give her free rein. “Don’t say shit like that when I’m around.”
“What, sucking dick? You can accuse Crissy of being a whore, but you can’t handle me just saying the words? And what if I like sucking dick? Would that automatically mean I did it for money? If it does, I’m concerned about the women you’re sleeping with lately. How much does a blow job go for these days? I wonder if I’m undercharging.”
I narrowed my eyes slightly. I hadn’t said that shit in front of her.
Katie lifted a brow. “You thought you were what, whispering last night while you belittled my best friend? Just because I was too exhausted to move doesn’t mean I turned deaf. I heard every word.”
My face flamed. “I said I was sorry.”
She snorted. “Yeah. Because two words make everything so much better. And they definitely take the hurt away.”
I hated when Katie was mad at me. It killed me. “It’s complicated.”
“Really?” she challenged. “It seems pretty straightforward to me. You’re hung up on this image you have of Cris from another time. I didn’t know the girl you described. I can tell you, without a doubt, that’s not who she is anymore.”
I shook my head ready to argue. People were who they were.
As if reading my mind, Katie’s eyes narrowed. “You think you’re the only person who can change?”
“I didn’t say that,” I began slowly.
“You didn’t have to,” she snapped back. “It’s written all over your face.” She looked out toward the street, sighing. “Listen, if you want to be mad about yesterday, be mad at me. It really was my idea to go to the clubhouse.”
“Oh, little girl, I’m furious about yesterday,” I assured her. “Those men are unpredictable. They’re not like me. Anything could’ve happened. I might not have been there to stop it.”
“It’s my fault.” She insisted, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe her. “But, know I also lucked out. I felt so sick that that Preacher guy insisted I go into a back room and lay down. He gave me migraine meds and insisted I lock the door after he left. I assumed that they’d send Cris back. They didn’t. God only knows what happened to her.”
Katie’s shoulders sagged and she looked so defeated as she stared off into the distance. “She didn’t want to go in. She wanted to wait until we had eyes on you. She was scared but I insisted that we’d be fine. Your friends have always been so great, I stupidly assumed the people there would be the same. I’m the one who screwed that one up, not her.” She twisted her lips. “I was trying to make her better. I made it worse.”
“Better?” I probed.
Kate nodded. “I don’t know everything about him. That guy from her past. My mom…” She hesitated and cleared her throat as if she thought it would bother me that she loved her adopted mother. It didn’t. “Aunt Sharon,” she clarified, “didn’t like it when I talked to Cris. Whenever we were at the same place, she told me to be polite but not too friendly. She didn’t want Cris’s behavior to rub off on me. I heard them talking though, the aunts and uncles, about Cris. So I got the gist of what happened.”
I hadn’t known that. For some reason, I’d assumed that my extended family had backed Cris, the same way hers had supported me. She’d only been a kid, for fuck’s sake.
Katie twisted her lips before she continued. “I do know that she’s been a mess ever since she got that letter.” Her head tipped toward my back pocket, where the notice of release was tucked away. “I thought that Matty might be able to help. I didn’t mean for her to get stuck with strangers doing God knows what.”
I couldn’t think about what had happened at the clubhouse just yet. I was too angry. Once I got the girls home, I planned to ask around. If someone had hurt Cris, I’d make him pay.
We were silent, lost in our own thoughts.
“What happened?” Kate refused to meet my eyes. “To Cris? Back then, I mean.”
Another deep drag helped calm my nerves a little. If Cris hadn’t told her, not in all the time they’d lived together and gotten as close as two girls could, I wasn’t going to. God knew my baby sister had enough trauma of her own to deal with.
“It was bad. That’s all you need to know.” I rolled my head from side to side trying to crack my neck. “I’ll take care of it,” I assured my sister.
“I don’t think she wanted to tell Matty the guy is out.”
I didn’t blame Cris. I didn’t want to tell him.
When he’d walked in on them all those years ago, he’d lost his shit. He’d ruined his whole life just to make sure the fucker paid. I would’ve done the same thing if it had been Katie.
I had no doubt that he’d do it all again in a heartbeat. If Matt knew the pedophile prick was out, he’d be enraged and insist we find the fucker and take him out for good. I needed to make sure that never happened. I didn’t want Matty to throw away his future.
But if Glass made the mistake of getting within a hundred yards of Cris, I’d hunt the punk jackass down like the animal he was and make sure he knew what real pain felt like before I sent him to meet his maker.
“What are you going to do?” I hated the worry in her voice.
“Only what I need to.”
Katie scowled at my answer.
“The whole situation is sketchy as fuck, but you don’t need to worry.” I stubbed out my cigarette and turned to her. “I’m glad I got to see you. But next time you pull shit like you did yesterday, either one of you, I’ll wring your neck.”
She only smiled. “I love you, too, Robby.”
8
Cris
No one was upstairs, but I found the bathroom easily. There were only three doors in the hall and I knew two were bedrooms. After I relieved myself, I rushed into the room I’d slept in, hoping that Rob and Katie didn’t actually leave without me. I was famished, my stomach growling loudly. More than that, I didn’t want to be left alone with my thoughts.
I pulled my duffle off the floor, still sitting where it had landed after Rob’s temper tantrum the night before, and dropped it onto the bed. I hurriedly unzipped it, planning to grab the first clothes I saw, not caring what I wore as long as it was clean and didn’t smell like cigarette smoke and sweat. The mess inside made my hand halt in mid-air.
The clothes I’d neatly folded the day before were now in wrinkled balls. My cosmetic bag had been opened and dumped out, my makeup broken apart and scattered throughout. But it was the sight of my purse that sent a surge of doom over me.
“No. No. No,” I cried as I picked it up, checking every pocket, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t empty.
Nothing. It had nothing left in it. Even the lint that I knew had gathered in the small inner pocket was gone.
I felt the blood drain from my face as my hands began to shake. Forcing the nagging feeling of dread away, I took a deep breath. It had probably fallen out and was just mixed in with the rest of my things.
One by one I lifted every item out of the bag, shaking each to make sure nothing had gotten stuck or caught in the fabric. My wallet had been hidden in a pair of sleep shorts, but I set it aside without opening it. Anything missing from it could be replaced.
My keychain couldn’t be.
As I pulled the last article of clothing out, my hope began to sink. Desperate, I upended the bag onto the bed and quickly sorted through the lit
tle things that fell out. It wasn’t there.
I sunk down on the bed, my head pounding. I couldn’t have lost it. It was the only thing I had left of the little girl with the shy smile who’d stolen my heart.
I rubbed my hands on my thighs. It had to be at the clubhouse. It was virtually worthless to anyone other than me. No one would want to steal it, so it must have fallen out when whoever went through my bag had shoved everything back in.
I could ask one of the boys to get it for me. That would mean that I’d have to admit that someone had gone through my stuff, which would piss them all off. I didn’t know how they would handle that bit of news. But, even with a very specific description, I wasn’t sure they’d be able to find it.
Asking them would also require me to explain what it was and why I carried a photo of Hannah with me always. If it was Tank or Matty who retrieved it, I was sure it wouldn’t be a big deal. But for Rob… I sighed.
I hadn’t seen a single picture of her here. Looking at her face might be too raw, too painful for him. And as much as I couldn’t stand the prick of a man, I didn’t want to be the person who made him remember that his daughter was gone.
The only other option was to go myself.
I hated the thought. Even the idea of walking back into that building made me nauseous. Yesterday, I’d been scared out of my mind and Katie had been with me. I couldn’t go there alone.
However, the threat of going through life without having that little piece of my girl was more terrifying than anything.
Since I wouldn’t be able to go alone, and I also didn’t trust one of the guys to find it without me, I needed to find another solution. I pursed my lips. Rob was out. Maybe Matty would take me and we could look for it together. But his temperament was too unpredictable. I never knew what would set him off.
Tank. He’d be the only one who would be able to keep a level head. If I could convince him to take me and not leave my side while I looked for the keychain, I might be able to find it. And the men there were afraid of him—I’d seen it last night. I’d be safe while I did because no one would mess with him.