I'd never seen Joe so angry. His neck was taut, his head drawn back, both his hands clenched into fists. "I want you to think very carefully about what you're accusing me of, Bill. I've been like a father to Heather. Which is more than anybody can say for you."
My father twitched, like he was going to leap forward and attack. Both Joe and Cole stiffened in response, staring him down, waiting for a movement - and my father saw this, and stepped back.
He let out a harsh laugh. "You can sling arrows all you want," he said. "But it's not going to change my plans. Everything's already been set in motion."
"You're a fool, Mr. Alexander." Adanna's eyes flashed. "A dangerous fool. The blood of many people is going to be on your hands."
I couldn't stay silent anymore.
"Dad," I said, firmly, stepping forward. "Dad. This has to stop. You have to stop it."
He sneered at me. "Do yourself a favor, Heather, and stay out of things you don't understand."
I took one long, shaky breath.
"You're right, Dad," I said. "I don't understand a lot of things. I don't understand why you're doing this, and I don't understand why you can't just let go of this stupid vendetta. I wish I could stay out of it. But you've asked me to fight for you. You asked me to turn Cole against his own clan."
There was a quiet gasp, and murmurs from the crowd. My father's face blanched. I didn't dare look at Cole, but I could feel his gaze on me, dark and heavy.
"You believed Cole's loyalty to me could be more powerful," I went on. "And maybe it could. But I'll never find out."
I finally allowed myself a glance in Cole's direction. His face was in awe, his eyes burning with something that made my heart beat faster.
My father stared at me like I'd stabbed him in the chest.
"What are you saying, Heather?" he asked, hoarsely.
There was no turning back now.
"I'm saying that I won't fight for you," I said. "If you want a war, then bring it. But understand that you won't just be fighting the clan. You'll be fighting me."
Chapter Ten
As long as I lived, I'd never forget the look on my father's face.
He'd gone ashen, his mouth working open and shut a few times. But he had nothing to say. He's never thought, not for one moment, that I'd actually do it. That I'd fight on their side.
My father's hubris was always one of his worst qualities. And with him, that was saying something.
But the war was still coming. I hadn't expected anything different. Hell, I'd barely hoped for anything different. But he had to know. Even if it didn't make a difference, I had to say my piece.
We all made our way to the Foxwoods clubhouse for an emergency meeting, every single citizen of Douglas Mountain packing into the white-walled room with the fitfully rotating ceiling fan, and the purely decorative fireplace. It felt surreal, gathering to plan war strategies in a room with a built-in chess table and a kitchenette.
The energy in the room wasn't quite what I'd expected. Looking at the sea of faces, I thought I'd see confusion, hesitation, fear - basically everything I was feeling. But they were united in anger and determination. The young couple who'd spoken up during the first meeting were holding hands, tightly, their eyes hard and unyielding. Every face was the same. Foxwoods, Alki Valley - for the first time in over a decade, it didn't matter.
Every single person in this room was ready to fight for their lives. For their land. I felt the thrill of it, thick in the air, and it made my heart beat faster.
The only one who seemed ambivalent was Arthur Craven. He lurked quietly in the corner, his eyes darting around the room, arms folded across his chest. He didn't seem like he was planning to speak.
I wondered about him.
No. He wouldn't. Not even Arthur would betray the clan.
I hoped my instincts were right.
"I need ten volunteers!" Adanna's voice echoed through the hall, and the quiet muttering died down. She was fierce, a fire burning in her eyes. "You'll run surveillance. Watch for the approaching army."
At least twenty arms shot up. Adanna assigned the posts, barking orders like she was born to be a general. Beside me, Cole's fingers twitched.
That should be me, he thought.
But instead of being laced with guilt, there was a hint of longing.
He was supposed to be the alpha. He just had to stop running from it.
"When they come, we'll be ready for them." Adanna was prowling the front of the room, hands behind her back. "Every one of us. To them, we're all the same. They don't care what neighborhood we live in. And now - neither do we."
The whole room broke out in a wordless cry that made my blood simmer in my veins.
I reached for Cole's hand, and he squeezed his acknowledgement, but he was a thousand miles away from me. He was seeing the battle, seeing himself leading the clan to victory.
As everyone began to disperse, I found myself gravitating towards Arthur. My empath qualities seemed to be the strongest around Cole, but I had a touch of it with all of them, I just couldn't ignore the anxiety radiating off of the neighborhood watch captain.
His eyes were hollow.
"I never thought I'd live to see war," he murmured. I wasn't sure if was talking to me. I wasn't even sure if he knew I was there.
"Neither did I," I said. "I mean - not this kind, anyway."
Arthur stared at the calendar on the wall, fluttering lightly in the breeze from the ceiling fan. "September twenty-third, two thousand and fourteen. War. Someday our children's children will remember this."
September?
Twenty-third?
SEPTEMBER TWENTY-THIRD?
Arthur shook himself off, and his prickly exterior quickly returned. But I hardly noticed. I was still staring at the calendar.
September twenty-third.
"Shit," I said.
"Well, that's the understatement of the century," Arthur said, turning on his heel and walking away.
He was right. But he had no idea how right he was.
I had to tell someone.
Not Cole. Absolutely not Cole. The last thing he needed to worry about, at a time like this, was whether or not I was…
I couldn't even think the word, let alone say it.
Ever since he came to town, ever since my father started this insane war, I'd more or less lost track of time. I hadn't even glanced at a calendar in so many weeks, as I drifted through this waking dream that was rapidly becoming a waking nightmare.
And now, I was late.
Not just fashionably late, either.
Adanna was the obvious choice. I knew that I could trust her, and she'd probably have some useful advice.
She'd already left the meeting, and I was able to slip away before Cole noticed me. I stole away to her office, and was relieved to see the desk lamp shining from the window.
When I knocked on the door, she answered quickly.
"I'm sorry," I said, immediately. "I'm sure you're busy."
"Not too busy." Her eyes were tired, but she smiled. "Never too busy for you. What's wrong, Heather?"
"I need to ask you something," I said, sitting down carefully. "It has nothing to do with the war. And I need you to promise you'll keep it secret."
"Of course," she said. "It would be a relief to talk about anything else."
Taking a deep breath, I bit my lips for a moment while I considered how to start. "I'm…I've been taking birth control pills for a long time. When Cole came back, I didn't think - well, I just figured everything would be okay. I didn't think I needed to be careful. I guess I should have."
Adanna's face grew serious. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, Heather?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "I haven't…I haven't taken a test yet. I guess I've been afraid to find out. With everything else that's going on, I couldn't even handle finding out something like that."
She nodded. "I understand," she said. "And I won't stop you from fighting, if that's what you want to d
o. But I want to be sure that you know I don't expect it. If there is a chance you're carrying a child, even a small chance, you have the right to protect yourself. And the baby."
Shaking my head, I tried to articulate my totally irrational feelings on the subject. "I have to fight," I said, finally. "Besides, it might be nothing."
"It might be," said Adanna. "It might be the stress, and the fear, playing tricks on your body. But I want you to understand what this means, if it is true."
My throat went dry. "And what is that?"
She was silent for a moment, playing with a beaded necklace between her fingers. "There's something peculiar about our people," she said. "And one of the reasons why there tend to be so few of us, compared to the commonfolk. For us, there is only one mate in the world with whom we can produce children."
It took a moment for this to sink in.
"It's always been like that," she went on. "In the olden days, they believed it was magic. They devised all kinds of rituals and spells to try and find true mates, but none of them were strictly successful. Some people still believe it's magic, but many think it must have something to do with undiscovered genetic markers. But no matter what you believe…it's not something to be taken lightly."
My head was buzzing. "I don't think I understand. So one of…one of your mates can be, uh, human? I mean, someone like me?"
She nodded. "From time to time," she said. "It's rare, but not vanishingly so. And I can't honestly say that I'm surprised. The connection between you and that boy - it's strong. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that."
"No," I said. "I guess you don't."
Smiling again, she reached over and patted my hand. "From the look on your face, I gather there's very little chance Cole is not the father."
"Very little," I agreed. "You might even say 'none.'"
"Your secret is safe with me," she said. Her whole bearing seemed a bit lighter now, as if the thought of a new life starting had taken some of the edge off of the coming war. "But if you're afraid to tell him, you shouldn't be."
"What do you mean?" My breath caught in my throat. "I mean, I'm just - I know he cares about me. And I know I care about him. But honestly, I'm not sure anymore. I don't know what's happening between us. I'm not sure what his plans are. Unless you know something I don't." I looked at her, plaintively.
One corner of her mouth turned up. "You're not the only one I guard secrets for."
I had to respect that Adanna took people's confidence so seriously. But it was driving me crazy. Cole had obviously told her something about his feelings for me - something he certainly wasn't going to say to my face. Not the night before a war.
I went home alone after talking to Adanna. I kept checking my phone for a call from Cole, but it never came.
Then again, he had bigger things on his mind.
When someone knocked on the connecting door to Steve and Andrea's apartment, I nearly jumped out of my skin. They always gave me my privacy - I couldn't remember the last time one of them had actually knocked.
"Yeah?" I called out.
"Just me." It was Steve's voice filtering through the heavy wood. "I've got something for you."
I opened the door, welcoming him in. He was carrying something long and narrow, like a sword in its sheath. He sat down at the table, and I took a moment to be thankful that I'd covered Cole's gouges with some strategically placed junk mail.
"What's that?" I nodded at the object, which he was now holding in his lip.
"Here," he said, sliding it across the table. "We just use our teeth and claws, but you'll need something to fight with."
"Why do you have…" I looked down at the katana. "You know what, never mind."
His face broke into a tired grin. "At the time, it seemed like owning a sword would be very metal. I also had a pet scorpion."
"That's…that's amazing, Steve." I smiled, in spite of myself. "Never found much reason to use it, huh?"
"Nope," he admitted. "But you might."
Silence reigned for a few moments.
"Heather, I can't imagine what's going through your head right now," he said. "I'm not gonna pretend like I understand what it's like for you. But I do know everything's going to be okay. You're smart and you're strong, and so is Cole. You'll get through this."
I wasn't even allowing myself to think about the possibility that we wouldn't.
"Thanks," I said. "Can I ask you a question that's going to seem very strange, at a time like this?"
Steve chuckled. "Absolutely," he said. "No question is too strange on the night before a war."
"Adanna told me something earlier today. About the whole…thing." I made a series of vague hand gestures. "How there's, you know, 'one true mate' and they're the only person you can have kids with. I didn't really ask a lot of questions. But I guess she thinks me and Cole…" I drifted off. It felt too ridiculous, and too private, to put into words.
"Ah." Steve nodded, momentarily lost in thought. "Fated mates. They say everybody has one, but I don't know if I believe it. Most of us find a way to be perfectly happy with somebody we happen to meet. Just like everybody else in the world. But some people - yeah, some people spend a lot of time looking for their soulmate. They think it'll make them happy, if they find the perfect person. I don't know if we're any different from the commonfolk, in that regard."
I frowned. "So you don't really believe in it?"
"Oh, I believe it's real," he said. "For some people. For others, who knows? Me and Drea, we love each other. But we're not like you and Cole. That never bothered me. I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life searching for somebody I might never find. If my 'one true mate' showed up on my doorstep tomorrow, I'd send them packing."
He grinned.
"Love's not about some magical spark with the perfect person," he went on. "It's about what you decide to build together. Love's what you make of it. Nothing more, nothing less. You and Cole have something special. But you're going to have to work your ass off, if you want to be together - just like everybody else."
I stared down at the sword.
"That makes sense," I said. "Kind of."
Cole knocked on my door well past midnight.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, not really looking at me. "Shit, Heather. I don't even know what to say."
I shook my head. "You don't have to say anything."
He took my face in his hands, staring at me like I was the best thing he'd ever seen - and like he was terrified he might never see it again.
"I wish I could talk you out of this," he said. "I wish you'd just stay the fuck away from the fight. If you get hurt, I won't be able to live with myself."
"I won't," I said. "But it wouldn't be your fault, anyway." A sick twist of guilt took over my chest. "He's my father."
Cole frowned. "Listen. Heather. Don't you ever feel responsible for him. None of this is your fault. He's delusional, and he saw his chance when the clan was too busy infighting to notice what was happening on the outside. None of that has anything to do with you. If you hadn't said something, he could have ambushed us in our sleep."
I knew everything he was saying was true, but I still felt like the worst person in the world.
"You were right," he said, after a long silence. "What you said, the other night, about how there's something else that scares me more than hurting you. But you were wrong, too. I'm not afraid of hurting you when I'm changed. I'm afraid of hurting you like this." He touched his chest. "Here."
"I know," I said. "And I can't tell you that's not going to happen. But I can tell you I'm willing to take that chance."
He sighed. "I've been an asshole, Sunshine. I thought I'd gotten better in the last ten years, but when I'm with you, I'm just a stupid teenager again."
In spite of everything, I was smiling. "I know what you mean."
"You deserve better," he rumbled, low in his chest. His eyes were starting to darken. Already, he was distracted by my proximity, by the feel of my skin under
his hand. I knew, because I knew what he was feeling. And I felt it too.
I slid up close to him, winding my arm around his neck. "Maybe I don't want better," I murmured, against his mouth, before I kissed him breathless.
That night, we made love.
I'd never understood the difference before. He laid me down slow and gentle on the bed, feathering my body with kisses, every movement feeling like it took an eternity. When he finally slid inside, hard and unyielding, inch by inch, I made a long, low sound that I didn't even recognize.
Ever so slowly, he slid all the way out, and all the way back in. My body pulsed and quivered. When I looked in his eyes, like I had in the mirror, I didn't just see lust.
I saw love.
There was simply no mistaking it. Not anymore.
We stayed there for such a long time, locked in the dance, saying everything with our movements that we couldn't put into words. We kissed and kissed, endlessly, our bodies undulating. My pleasure came long and slow, shuddering, panting, my nails leaving long, deep scratches in his back.
We fell asleep together, the night before war, and I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.
Chapter Eleven
As I stood in the clearing surrounded by the clan, all wearing billowing cloaks - easier that way, Cole had explained, no clothes to get ripped or torn by the ones who shifted into something bigger - all I could hear was my heart beating in my own ears.
They were coming. They were coming any moment now, and they were ready for us.
Adanna's surveillance had paid off. We knew roughly where and roughly when, and we were ready. More or less.
As it turned out, it didn't matter. Miles before they arrived, we could all hear them. Marching, pushing through the underbrush, chanting something in an ancient language that I didn't understand.
That was supposed to be my destiny. But I'd chosen, instead, to stand with the people who'd been my true family.
And Cole, the only man I'd ever loved.
When the warriors came up over the hill, one single thought settled, heavy in the pit of my stomach.
Becoming His Mate: Douglas Mountain Shifters (Fountain of Love) Page 11