Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  “Great.” Carl took his hands out of his pockets and actually looked relieved. “I’ll send over the first list of prospects as soon as I get back to the office.”

  “No, I meant the family photos.” I watched as he slowly slipped his hands back into his pockets. “Consider it my test to see if I want to work for you.”

  “It could just be a little awkward. The last time you were at my hou—”

  “I won’t do anything to hurt your marriage, Carl.”

  Something clicked in Carl’s eyes. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I knew something happened. “Sure. We’re free tonight unless you have plans.”

  “Nothing I can’t move around. What time?” I wasn’t sure what game he was playing, but I could give as good as I got, and if he was playing a game, he just declared war on the wrong woman.

  “I don’t have any other meetings.” He looked at his watch. “Amy should be home soon. How about now?”

  “I have to get my camera, but I’ll meet you at your place.” I checked the computer once more to make sure it was off.

  “You don’t have your camera with you?”

  I shrugged. He narrowed his dark eyes at me and seemed bothered by that for some reason. “I haven’t had a reason to take photos, so I stopped carrying it.”

  He started shaking his head. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” He suddenly pinned me with a stare. “I don’t want to ever catch you without it again. Understood?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “It’s my life to do as I please. If I don’t want to lug around something I’ve had no use for, I’ll leave it at home. Understood?”

  He looked as if he were going to take a step forward and stopped. “How long will it take you to get to my house?”

  “I can be there within the hour.” He nodded and started to leave. “Hey, Carl?” He turned and looked back to me. “What do you think when you look at my office?”

  He looked around and shrugged. “It’s an office. What am I supposed to think about it?”

  I waved him off. “Never mind.”

  I didn’t like living back home. I loved my family more than anything, but they could be a little suffocating. Okay, a lot suffocating. I was still choosing to believe I’d be sent out on the road again. Lance would get sick of his new girlfriend, or get sick of losing money, and come back to me. I stopped with my hand on the front door. Shaking my head, I wasn’t sure where that thought had come from. I didn’t want him back. I just wanted the open road.

  I pushed the door open hoping to just run up and get my camera. It was a straight line from the front door to the stairs, but I had to pass the oversized living room on the right and dining and kitchen areas on the left. I should’ve paid more attention to whose cars were out front. I almost made the stairs when I heard my mother behind me.

  “Are you feeling okay?”

  She meant well and I love her dearly, but I didn’t want to go over the choices she thought I should make again. “Yep, I just need to grab something upstairs and I’m headed back to work.”

  “Your camera?”

  I turned to look at my mother. She’d aged over the last six months. Her hair had already started to grey, but there wasn’t much left of her natural color any more. The lines that had since appeared were only made less noticeable by the dark circles under her eyes. Her bright, vibrant green eyes that used to be like my own staring back at me were changed to a dull, lifeless green that were hard to look in.

  The mess my sister found herself in changed this family. Her decisions and actions affected us all, but almost killed my mother. Maybe she was why I really stayed. I didn’t want her to go through this alone. “Yes, my camera.” She nodded and started to turn. “But I’m not going anywhere yet. This is a project here.” My mother smiled and went back to the kitchen.

  I ran up the stairs and immediately went to my closet. On the way back out of my bedroom, I stopped at the mirror, checking my appearance. I needed to freshen up my makeup. I reached for it, but stopped myself. This is a job, not a date. My hand hovered over the dresser where my makeup was sitting as I thought about what I was doing. “He’s married.”

  “Who’s married?” I jumped as my older sister Deb stood in the doorway, watching me. The stress hadn’t been good to her, either. Her hair wasn’t grey since she’d always dyed it black and her wrinkles were all age appropriate, but you could tell by the look in her eyes that she was hollow inside.

  She used to take care of herself. Her hair never went without washing. She didn’t curl it as I did, but she didn’t need to since it was so short. She was never one to flaunt her body, but if her clothes got any bigger on her, they’d surely fall off. “I’ll ask again. Who’s married?” She walked in and plopped down on the bed.

  I grabbed the lipstick to allow myself a little time to think about it before answering. “Just this hot guy I have to work with now.” I put the cap back on and set the lipstick on the dresser. “Doesn’t mean I can’t show him what he’s missing.”

  I grabbed my camera case and opened it to make sure everything was in there. It was always ready. No matter how much I said it didn’t matter when my family talked about, I still took care of my baby. It wasn’t her fault I put us in this terrible mess. I looked at Deb. Actually, it was her fault. “What do you want, Deb?”

  “I knew there had to be a guy involved. You don’t get excited about taking pictures anymore.” Deb got up and reached the door.

  “Why don’t you worry about what excites you. I’ll worry about me.”

  She turned to look at me just before walking out. “I’ve been telling you and everyone else that for the last six months.”

  I sighed. I didn’t know why I bothered staying to help her. She never took any help from anyone. If it weren’t for our mother, I would’ve left and never looked back. Even if Deb didn’t need me, our mother sure did. I grabbed my camera bag and rushed out the door. If I wanted to arrive at the time I had promised to be there, I needed to hurry.

  I pulled into the driveway, nervous, but determined. I was glad it was dark so no one could see me. However, the dark made it difficult since I hadn’t quite gotten the layout of the front steps to the house down yet. Carl had a curved walkway from the driveway to the front door and the steps were uneven in size, depending on the curve, some wider than others to accommodate the turn. It was beautiful to look at in the daylight; but at night and not used to it, I hoped with each step that I wasn’t wrong.

  Walking a little less sure than I wanted to, I made my way halfway up the steps. I stopped to look in the big picture window to the right. Carl sat on the sofa with papers spread out all over the coffee table in front of him; his laptop in the middle of the mess. He never took a night off, but he would that night.

  My determination grew as I watched him study papers and check his laptop. Watching him still in his suit pants and shirt with the sleeves rolled up made me want him even more. There was nothing sexier to me than a man in a suit, concentrating on his work. I walked up the rest of the steps as if I lived there, owned a piece of it, and belonged to the man inside.

  I took a deep breath right before knocking and then checked my coat to make sure it was closed and tied. I almost knocked again when Carl opened the door. “Yes—” He looked surprised to see me. A smile crept across his face. “Rachael, what brings you here?” He crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorway, and his forearms flexed when he gripped his biceps. His forearms were strong. I could only imagine watching them as he gripped my hips. I briefly closed my eyes.

  I looked back up to his face and noticed his cocky grin. “I had an idea I wanted to run by you.”

  “Oh? I’m lucky you braved the thunderstorm,” he said as he pointed to my raincoat, “to come out here for my opinion.” His cocky smile was growing bigger. “I thought you had a family thing tonight. How did it go?”

  I was trying to forget my family. I sure as hell didn’t want to talk about them. “We both know yo
u don’t give two flying fucks about my family.” I tilted my head, and smiled sweetly. “But thanks for asking.”

  “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” Carl started shaking his head with a fake frown. “We’re going to have to work on that mouth of yours.”

  I untied the raincoat and let it hang open showing the black lace, barely there lingerie I wore. I took his brief moment of weakness and stepped up into the doorway with him, barely pressing my lips to his. “There’s a lot more of me that needs to be worked on, but we can start with my mouth.”

  I jumped and screamed as Carl knocked on the driver’s side window. Putting my arms across the steering wheel, I lay my forehead against my arms and caught my breath as he laughed hysterically outside my car door. After a few deep breaths and still hearing him howling with laughter, I quickly opened the door and hit him with it. “Asshole! You could have given me a heart attack.”

  He was rubbing his hip where the car door hit him. “What are you doing just sitting out here?”

  “Nothing.” I went to the back of my car to grab my camera bag out of the trunk. “Where’s the family?”

  He looked around. “Amy should be home any minute. They must have stopped off somewhere. They didn’t expect me home early.” To hear him talk about his family hurt more than I thought it would. “Rachael, about that—”

  Just then, an older car with the radio blaring turned the corner and started down the street. He sighed heavily as he shook his head. He walked over to the car after it pulled up and opened the driver’s side door. His large body blocked the driver as he bent down to whisper . . . or kiss. I closed the trunk and set my camera bag on it to pretend to look through it. I didn’t want to see him give his wife a hello kiss.

  “What are you doing here?” The little voice to my left startled me. I guess I was too much into trying not to pay attention to what Carl was doing on my right that I didn’t pay attention to anything around me at all. I looked to where the voice came from and saw Amy with her school bag dragging on the ground. It had only been a few months since I’d seen her, but she had definitely grown. My brother’s fiancée, Drew, was always talking about how quickly the children were growing in the daycare center she ran, but I’d never been around the same child more than once to notice.

  Her hair was the same blonde color I’d remembered, but it was a little longer. Her bangs seemed to get in her eyes. Didn’t Carl take his daughter to get her hair cut? Her outfit was cute, but not what I thought she would’ve worn. It just seemed simple with the jeans and T-shirt. She wasn’t dressed like the princess I’d remembered from before. She was still a beautiful girl, even with the long bangs and tomboy outfit.

  “Hi, Amy. I’m actually here to take pictures of you and your . . . um, family.” Why was it so hard to say parents? I looked at my camera bag again.

  “You’re taking them today?” Her face lit up and then fell all within the span of five seconds.

  I left the camera bag on the trunk and turned to Amy. “Is that okay? Do you have other plans?”

  “I don’t have anything to wear.” Amy’s eyes filled with tears as she dropped her bag and ran into the house.

  “Amy!” Carl was by my side as he yelled and startled me again. He ran after his daughter.

  I picked up the bag Amy had dropped. “That girl has no manners.” A young sounding voice spoke on my left. “I’ve done all I can with her, but Carl needs to step it up if he knows what’s good for him. You should leave the bag. I make her clean up her messes.”

  I kept looking at the bag. “It’s just a bag. I’ve got it.” I was standing next to his wife and I didn’t want to look at her. Her voice made her sound like a twelve-year-old. Had he wanted someone younger? My mind wandered through various conversations we had, but I couldn’t remember him ever being put off by my over thirty status. I shook my head and she misread that as me agreeing with her.

  “I just told him last week he needed to have a stronger hand. She’s a handful and in the making to be quite a little bitch.”

  I froze at her harsh words. My eyes betrayed me and searched for her to my left. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see she was young, but not as young as twelve. I guessed her to be in her mid-twenties. Her T-shirt had seen better days, as well has her holed-out jeans. She was pretty, I’d give her that, but her hair was almost too short for her face, except for her bangs. They were longer and hung in the front, over her eyes. How did she see anything? I turned to her fully and completely looked her over.

  Her spiked heels were the most well taken care of thing on her, but they also gave away more than she probably thought they did. She had her arms crossed in total disgust at Amy’s behavior. She had almost no breasts to speak of and no other curves going for her at all, but I wouldn’t say she was unattractive. She just needed to accessorize better than the spiked heels.

  “See something you like?” My eyes met with hers and noticed the amused look on her face. “I don’t swing that way, blondie, but feel free to look all you want.”

  I shouldn’t have, but I laughed. It was absurd this was whom Carl wanted for his wife. The man who had only ever cared about appearances married the one person who obviously cared the least about them—or tried to. Those heels said she cared more than she wanted to admit. I shook my head and grabbed my camera bag. I thought it would hurt to see who Carl chose, and it did sting a little, but face to face with the complete opposite I had envisioned for him, helped me to realize I really didn’t know Carl at all.

  She started walking up the steps. I followed, but lagged back a little, still unable to control my laughter. She turned quickly and came back down one step. “What’s so funny?”

  “Absolutely nothing.” I tried, but failed to stifle a laugh.

  She rolled her eyes and turned back up the steps. “You’re just as rude as them. Figures.”

  She was right. I was being rude. “Wait. I’m sorry. I’m just here to take the family photos and I’ll be out of your hair.”

  She turned back around and crossed her arms. “Family photos? He didn’t tell me he was doing that today.”

  “It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I can wait for you guys to get ready. It’s no trouble.” I started walking back up the stairs. She huffed and passed me in a run. At least the heels didn’t slow her down.

  I crossed the threshold I once swore I would never cross again. Carl’s house was incredibly large for just him and Amy. The den to the left of the entryway was never used. Being a single father, he always took over the front room on the right, so he could be available to Amy. I paused on that thought. Maybe he did use it since he’d remarried. I entered the front room and waited for someone to come back. I could hear him and his wife talking upstairs, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. It was probably best anyway. I didn’t need to listen to their conversations.

  I sat on the sofa and placed my bag on the coffee table I had seen Carl use for his work so many times before. I kept myself busy by taking my camera out and checking the settings. The settings were fine. I was the one who needed adjusting. I looked around the room and noticed nothing much had changed. He still had the family photo that included his late wife on the mantel. I’d looked at the photo so much in the past it was burned in my memory.

  I didn’t want to get caught looking at it again, so I lifted my camera and zoomed in real close, snapping pictures of a photo I had no business taking. Amy was just a baby and Carl never looked happier. I often wondered if he would ever be that happy again. He didn’t really look happy as he came down the stairs. I put my camera down. “Is everything okay with Amy?”

  He let out a huge sigh as he sat next to me. He leaned forward and put his head in his hands, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know. She says she has nothing to wear, but her closet is full of clothes.”

  I watched as he kept rubbing his hands through his hair. I wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but he had someone else for that now. He didn’t have the slightest idea how
to handle these sorts of things. His wife didn’t seem to care much about her wardrobe, so I could only imagine she wasn’t much help with Amy’s desire to be pampered like a princess, either. I stood up.

  Carl looked up at me. “I’m sorry I had you come all the way out here.”

  “Oh, I’m not leaving. I’m going upstairs to find something for Amy to wear.” I started up the stairs.

  He stood. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “But I want to.” I continued up the stairs and followed the voices to Amy’s bedroom.

  “You don’t understand. I can’t wear jeans in a photo.” Amy was still crying. “I need a dress.”

  “What you need is to understand the world isn’t always fair; and I’m trying to teach you that, so you don’t end up disappointed in life.” I could hear hangers being shifted around. “I wish someone would’ve taught me at a young age that you deal with the hand you’re dealt and stop dreaming in the clouds. Here, put this on.”

  I heard the hanger hit the floor. “No! I want to be pretty for the photos.”

  “You can be attractive with the stuff we have. Your father gave us a lot of money to buy these clothes and you haven’t worn half of it.”

  “Because they’re ugly!”

  “Your father and I will discuss this attitude.”

  I walked in. I should’ve kept out of their business, but I just couldn’t stand to hear Amy cry anymore. “May I help?” I was shocked to see the clothes all over the bedroom. It looked more like the closet from Carl’s wife than what I would’ve imagined for Amy.

  “Tell her these clothes aren’t good enough for pictures. I need a dress.” Amy seemed to calm down a little when she noticed me looking at the clothes. I had to put my poker face on. It wasn’t my business what they bought Amy to wear.