She stopped and looked at me. “Are you feeling okay? Do I need to make an appointment with your physician?”
I smiled and shook my head as I packed my briefcase. “No, I feel quite well. I’d just like to go home and see my daughter.”
Kylie’s shock that I wanted to skip out on a Friday afternoon took over my thoughts the entire way home. It was true I normally wouldn’t go home early. I would stay until the last possible moment. I simply didn’t want to be there anymore.
I pulled into the driveway and saw Rachael’s car parked on the street. Deb’s was nowhere to be found. Maybe Deb had used her sister’s car this morning, and I just hadn’t noticed. I was in a hurry to get to the office.
I walked in and listened to the voices in the front room before I made a sound. It was Rachael. I slammed the front door.
Amy came running around the corner, excited. “Deb!” She stopped when she saw me. “Dad? Why are you home? Are you sick?”
Rachael entered the doorway, but she wouldn’t look at me at first. It took a moment, but her eyes finally met mine. She knew she’d been caught. I just wasn’t sure what I had caught.
“I am starting to feel a headache, princess, but no, I’m not sick.” I looked down to Amy. “Do you have lipstick on?”
“No.” She huffed.
“It’s lip gloss.” Rachael finally spoke.
I shot her a glare. “There’s a difference?”
“A big difference.”
“Well, I don’t want Amy wearing it.” I stormed off into the kitchen.
“Dad, you let me wear other makeup.”
“Those were for special occasions, Amy. I’m not going to argue about this.”
“Hey, sweets. Why don’t you go upstairs and play for a little bit. Let me talk to your dad for a second.”
“I’m not changing my mind.” It was getting increasingly difficult to hide my anger since Amy was out of the room. Cupboards were slammed and drawers were shut hard. I couldn’t have even told you what I was looking for. “Why the hell are you here, Rachael?”
“Deb had her appointment—”
“I had play dates set up for that!”
“Calm down. There’s no need to get upset.”
I stormed over to Rachael and to her credit, she didn’t back up. “I am upset. I am very upset. I should know at all times who is watching my child! What if I needed to get in touch with her? I would’ve called Lucy and gotten the message then that my daughter wasn’t with her.” I got closer. “Do you know what kind of panic that would’ve sent me in?” I got even closer. “Do you know what kind of fool I would’ve looked like?”
She placed her hands on my chest and pushed. I had her up against the wall, but I didn’t budge. I wanted answers. She had her head turned away from me throughout my tirade, but finally looked up to me as she pushed again.
“Back off!” When I still didn’t move, she made fists and started beating on my chest. “Back off!”
I grabbed her wrists. “No! I want to hear why you’re hiding from me.”
“I’m not hiding from you. Your daughter’s play date was unable to make it because Lucy’s daughter broke her leg in a bicycle accident two weeks ago. Deb needed help and I stepped in. That’s all there is to it!” She tried to free her arms.
Deb walked in and saw us scuffling. “What the fuck?” She started pounding on my back. “Let her go!”
I let Rachael go and turned toward Deb. “You should’ve told me all of this! You should’ve told me I needed to find a new play date. You are to keep nothing from me again!” I turned to Rachael. “Don’t ever put lipstick on my kid again.” I walked out of the kitchen and called over my shoulder, “I’m taking a shower and I don’t care if either of you are still here when I get back.”
I rubbed my wrists as Carl stormed out. Deb pointed to my arms. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I should go talk to him.” He was right. He should’ve known who was watching Amy. I’m sure he did feel like a fool not knowing what was going on with his child. I was selfish because I just couldn’t see him.
“I think he needs to cool off. Maybe a cold shower would do him some good.” She started to open the refrigerator and turned to me. “Do I still make dinner or do we just leave?”
“Make dinner if you want. I’ll go calm him down and everything will be fine.” I turned to leave.
“Rachael, the man is taking a shower. Let him have some peace. Unless you’ve already taken showers together.” She gave me a smirk and lifted her eyebrows.
I felt my cheeks pink up and I turned to leave again.
“Oh, my God. Are you serious?”
“Not the way you’re thinking.”
“How many different ways are there to take a shower? You both lose your clothes and get in the water . . . together.”
“He wasn’t undressed.”
“Rachael, I’m sure you know this already, but the man needs to get undressed, too. You know, for any fun to start.”
I looked at the floor. The night of the arrest was still a secret to my family. Trusting Deb wasn’t something I thought I could do completely, but I’d let her in on a little of it. “It was the night I hurt my ribs. Carl helped me.”
She started to ask questions and then kept calling after me, but I had walked out. I needed to calm Carl down before he made decisions he would’ve regretted later and before Deb got more info out of me. I stopped by Amy’s room on the way.
“Hey. Deb’s back and is starting dinner soon. I know you like to help her.”
“Why is Dad so mad?” She was still rubbing her lips with a washcloth she probably got from the bathroom.
“I should’ve told him I was caring for you. You did nothing wrong.” I took the washcloth from her and rubbed her lips with my thumb. “You don’t want to remove your lips, too.” I smiled at her. “I’ll calm him down. Why don’t you go help Deb make dinner while I talk to him?”
“Okay.” She touched her lips. “Will you talk to him about the lip gloss, too?”
My smile grew. “Of course.”
I listened at the door to his bedroom, but didn’t hear anything. Knocking didn’t get a response, so I entered. The door to the bathroom had been closed, too. I listened as I got closer, but I still hadn’t heard any water running.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. If I had knocked, he could’ve locked it before I got in. I wanted the element of surprise. However, I got the surprise.
Carl stood just staring at the mirror, not really seeing anything. His tie was off and lying on the counter. His shirt was unbuttoned and opened down to where it was tucked into his dress slacks. The only sign of movement was his hard chest as he took deep, controlled breaths.
I stood off to the side, staring into the mirror, right at his chest. I wanted to run my fingers over it and caress what I had just been beating on moments before. You could see the red marks where I hit him.
The slight movement of his eyes in the mirror caused me to look up and our eyes locked. Carl looked away first when he placed both hands on the counter and leaned forward.
“What do you want from me, Rachael?”
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay and to see why you were so angry.” I shut the bathroom door. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you I had watched Amy last week and this week. You’re right. I just didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Why are you avoiding me?” He stayed leaning on the counter, but he looked up for my response. I looked away. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“There’s no reason to talk anymore. I’ve finished your photos.”
He stood, but turned around and leaned against the counter, crossing his legs at the ankles with his bare feet. I wished I’d had my camera. That was one of the sexiest poses he’d ever struck.
Before I got my fill, he stood up and walked toward me. “I think you’re afraid. You’re afraid to be too close to me because we both know what will happen if we are together enough.” He bac
ked me up against the door and put his hands on either side of my head. “And I think you’re more afraid of the fact that,” he said, and leaned in to whisper, “you’ll like it.”
I closed my eyes. Being this close to him with his shirt undone was one of the hardest things I had to do. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to drag him into the shower. What I really needed to do was get out of that bathroom.
Carl kissed me while my eyes were closed. I wouldn’t allow myself to respond no matter how much I wanted to. Once he moved to my neck, my tongue glided across my lips to taste him. I moved my head to the side to give him better access and a small moan escaped me.
“No marks.”
I felt him smile as he continued kissing my neck. I should’ve stopped it, but his tongue against my skin was hard to resist. It was going to get me into trouble I couldn’t escape.
He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer. My hands went to his hair. My mind was telling me to pull back, but my body was screaming to go forward. When he kissed me the next time, I didn’t hold back. Instead, I welcomed him, tasting what my lips moments before allowed me to sample.
I started saying no in between kisses and trying to back away. It was killing me to stop, but it would be the death of me to continue. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed. “Please. Stop.”
We both were breathing hard as Carl put his forehead to mine. “What are you afraid of? We’ve all been hurt before, but we can’t let those things hold us back.” He pulled my hips close to him again. “It can just be sex. We don’t have to let it mean anything.”
“There isn’t much to tell. I was getting bored with us, Rachael.” His actions confirmed that. Lance was bored. “It’s been fun, but it’s time to move on.”
“Are you letting me out of my contract?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. This is why women shouldn’t make business decisions.” He threw his pen on the desk and stood. “You will never be allowed out of your contract. You’re too good of an investment to let go. At least your photography is.” He shrugged and looked over my body. “I guess there are other things about you I had thought were a good investment, as well. However, you’re just not the marrying kind.”
Emotions weren’t something I usually felt or showed, but it was getting increasingly difficult the more insults he tossed my way. “Fine. You can keep me on the payroll as long as my contract states, but this is your notice I will not be renewing it.”
“Then you’ll never work again.” His nonchalant attitude worried me that he was telling the truth.
“I don’t see how you could stop me.”
“I’ll ruin you.”
“My work speaks for itself.”
“So does your pussy.”
I remained silent out of shock and hatred. If I had said what I wanted to, I was sure he would’ve made his threats a reality.
“It’s simple, really. You fucked a model — a young model at that. No one will allow you around people once this news breaks.”
“He was nineteen! You can’t be serious.”
“I am. Would you care to test me?” We stared at each other. “I take it your silence means no.” He pulled out a folder from his desk drawer. “Here’s a new contract.” He reached out to hand it to me.
I took it, but didn’t take my eyes off him. I was trying to see a glimmer of the man I had lived with for two years. Whom had I been living with? As soon as his business took off, he changed into the monster that sat before me. We went from both of us living the dream to me wishing I could wake up from this nightmare.
I looked at the contract and ignored his extended hand with a pen pointed at me. “Ten years!” I looked at him. “You expect me to work for you for ten years? I don’t want to work with you for ten minutes.”
He held up sealed envelope. “I have a statement from Miguel. It talks about how you seduced him and told him it was just sex. It also states he was afraid to tell you no.” He started coming around his desk. “It seems our relationship had intimidated people and you used that to get what you wanted. How many others had you threatened to get fired if they didn’t sleep with you?”
“I’ve never done that. If Miguel said that, he’s lying.”
Lance was behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. He squeezed. Hard. “I can break you.” He leaned down to whisper. “And I’ll enjoy every moment of it.”
I pushed Carl so hard he stumbled back a couple of steps. “What’s the matter?”
“Don’t touch me, Carl.” I turned and placed my hand on the doorknob.
“Wait! You owe me an explanation.”
“I don’t owe you shit.” I opened the door and he slammed it shut. I placed my forehead against the door trying to keep my tears in check. I was so careful after that day never to sleep with someone in the business again and former client or not, Carl was still classified as a client.
“I don’t know what happened, but we were having a great time.” He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Was it because I said it didn’t have to mean anything? Do you want it to mean something?”
I turned to him. “No. I don’t want anything to mean anything at all. I just want to get out of here and never come back!”
“You’ve got to move past whatever it is that’s holding you back from enjoying life again.” He trailed his fingers up my arm.
It was cruel and I regretted saying it, but it needed to be said, “How’s the sofa treating you?”
The moment what I’d said registered, his black eyes turned to ice. He grabbed my elbow and wrenched the door open. I could hardly keep up as he walked me out of his bedroom and down the stairs. He didn’t even slow down as he grabbed my purse on the way out and walked me to my car.
“You wanted to leave. Get out!” He leaned on the car and trapped me between his arms as he whispered, “And don’t forget to never come back.”
I stood there stunned, in complete shock that the tongue that had been so sensual just a few minutes before could be as razor sharp as it was in that moment. I got in the car and sped home.
It may not have been a Jacuzzi tub, but it was all mine and so was the bottle of wine I’d almost finished. I’d only had my new apartment for a week, but I had already loved the freedom. I couldn’t have soaked as long as I had if I still lived with my parents.
My phone vibrated for the second time in under a minute and I sighed, but reached for it. Deb was outside and wanted me to let her in. I didn’t want to talk to her, but I had no doubt she wouldn’t leave until she came in.
I made my way in my robe to the buzzer. “You’ve got two minutes, and I want back in my tub.” I buzzed the building door to let her in and unlocked the apartment door, leaving it a crack open for her to enter. I needed to go grab another bottle of wine.
I heard the door close as I was trying to get the cork out. It wasn’t something I was usually graceful with, but having the first bottle didn’t help. “I know you are into the whole let’s-talk-about-it thing since you started therapy, but I’m not really in the mood to talk tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
My hands froze as I heard Carl’s two words. I didn’t know if I was more in shock over the fact he said them so easily, or because he was standing in the very apartment I was trying to keep from him. I was going to kill Deb for tricking me.
I felt him come up behind me and he took over my hands. He opened the bottle and placed the cork on the counter. “I’m sorry.”
“I heard you the first time.” I refused to look at him.
“I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. You can come over whenever you’d like. Thank you for helping Amy and for allowing Deb to keep her appointments.”
He was careful not to touch me, but wrapped his arms around me and placed his hands on the counter directly in front of me. It wasn’t until a tear dropped onto his hand that he spun me and held me close.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry because of me.”
I couldn’t contain the tears anymore
. He lifted me and took me to the sofa where he sat me on his lap and let me cry. I felt sorry for myself. And I hated it.
Those few moments were longer than I should’ve stayed. I got up. “We’re full of ourselves tonight.”
“What do you mean?”
“You think I’m crying because of you.” I smirked and sat in the chair on the other side of the coffee table.
The corner of his mouth lifted a little, but he didn’t smile. “I’m sorry for the things I said. You struck a nerve with the sofa comment, but I guess I did with my comments, as well.”
I shrugged not dismissing it exactly, but not confirming anything, either. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable. I preferred the silence from my tub, though. I smiled at the thought.
“Something on your mind?”
I looked at Carl and he looked as exhausted as I felt. The dark circles under his eyes and the way his entire body looked weighted down made me want to console him. I went over and snuggled up next to him. He welcomed me with open arms and a full smile.
“Can we just be friends, Carl?” I played with the buttons on his shirt. “I need a friend. Not a lover.”
He was silent for a little while, and I gave him the time to answer. I wanted to be sure that it was something he could do. I didn’t want a rushed answer to say what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to tell me what he could do, and if he couldn’t be my friend, I think we both knew that was the last night I would ever be in his arms.
He squeezed me before he answered. “I could use a friend, too.”
“Thanks for meeting with us, Rachael.” Drew looked nervous with half a smile.
“Of course. It’s no trouble. These two guys are awesome. You’ll love them.” I lowered my voice and placed my hand on hers. “You okay?”
She waved off my concern. “Yeah, it’s just all so overwhelming.” Her head went into her hands the second her eyes welled up with tears. “I will not cry. I will not cry.”
I scooted closer and put my arm around her. “I’m sure all of this is very overwhelming, but it’s only because you want it to be perfect. It will be perfect. Stop worrying about it.”
Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2) Page 16