Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  “So what’s holding you back?”

  “His bedroom.” I leaned forward. “He still won’t use his bedroom.”

  She slapped my hand. “Where have you been getting it on, girly?”

  I smiled. “Well . . .” I stopped smiling. “We have to stay in the guest room when I stay over.”

  “The guest room?” She shook her head. “You need to talk to him about that, doll.”

  “He’s slept on the sofa since his wife died. I guess I’m lucky he’s taken me to the guest room.”

  “No.” She waved her finger at me. “You do not feel lucky going to the guest room. Do not settle. It has to be hard for him. I’m not saying it isn’t, but you need to get him back into the master bedroom or into a new house.”

  “A new house? Janelle—” I ducked. “Oh, my God! Miguel just walked in.”

  She smiled. “I received some information before I left. I’m glad this one panned out.”

  “What am I going to do?”

  “What are you going to do?” She looked at me. “Who the hell are you and what have you done with Rachael? Sleeping in the guest room and now you’re afraid to talk to Miguel who can clear this all up? Get your ass up there!”

  I nodded and stood. Miguel looked my way when I started walking toward him. He glanced at first and then looked again. I stopped breathing. I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He started walking toward me.

  “Rachael? I can’t believe you’re here.” Miguel wrapped his arms around me and hugged me so tightly he picked me up off the ground.

  It was awkward, but I hugged him back. He signaled his friends that he was sitting with us and hugged Janelle just as tightly.

  “I can’t believe I ran into both of you tonight. How are you guys?”

  “Oh, we’re great, doll.” Janelle started the conversation since I was still in shock he was happy to see me. From what Lance had said, I ruined his life. “What’s new with you?”

  “I’m just going to school. Nothing too exciting.” He looked at both of us. “What about you? Are you here for a shoot?”

  Janelle kicked me under the table. I whispered, “Okay.” I looked at Miguel and took a deep breath. “We did have a shoot earlier, but I’ve been looking for you all day.”

  He sat back. “Me?” He shook his head. “No, I don’t want to model anymore.”

  “Why not?” I looked down at my cold coffee. “Was it because of me?”

  “No. Not at all.” He covered my hand. “I only did the modeling to pay for school. I got a scholarship after our last photo shoot together.” He smiled and looked a little embarrassed.

  “I think I’m going to head to the ladies room and let you talk.” She turned to Miguel. “Don’t leave before I get my hands on you again.”

  “Miguel, there’s no easy way to say this, but I was told you had turned me in for seducing you. That you quit because of what I had done. Lance pulled me from the road because of it.”

  He shook his head the entire time I talked. “None of that is true. I took advantage of a situation and I feel enormous guilt for that, but you aren’t why I quit. You’re why I made myself better.”

  I shook my head. “What?”

  “Hanging out with the models all the time was starting to mess with my priorities. I wanted to go to school. I just couldn’t afford it. I got into modeling a lot later than the other models because it was something that just happened, and I knew I could save a lot for college.

  “After that night with you, I felt horrible for what I had done to you. I was becoming them, and I didn’t want that. That night was incredible, but I went about it all wrong.” He reached over and squeezed my hand.

  “So you didn’t write a letter to Lance?”

  “Not one word.” He looked at the table. “He contacted me about nine months ago and asked me to model for him again. Someone I had done ad work for needed me back, but I turned him down.”

  “That’s when he pulled me off the road. It must have reminded him about us and given him the idea.”

  “He really pulled you for what we’d done?”

  “I think he pulled me for different reasons. He just used that as an excuse. If he really wanted to pull me for that, he would’ve done it the night it happened. Instead, he waited over a year.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  I covered his hand with mine. “You already have.” I smiled when he looked puzzled. “You just gave me my freedom.”

  After I had talked to Miguel, I felt so much peace. I still needed to deal with Lance and his empty threats. They were full of hot air, just like Lance. I couldn’t wait to find an attorney to get me out of the contract.

  Miguel had given me all of his information, so I could contact him much easier in the future. I didn’t think Lance would put up much of a fight, but at that point, I didn’t care. There was no way I could lose.

  I pulled up to Carl’s and frowned. Now that I had a way to get my freedom, I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted the life I had before. I’d still get away from Lance, but I needed to figure out if I wanted the road again. It was something I needed to figure out before I told Carl about it. His vote would be to stay home. It needed to be something I wanted for me.

  He opened the door before I got all the way up the walkway. “Hey, you look tired.”

  I walked through the door and gave him a quick kiss. “It was an exhausting day.”

  “Go up and take the Jacuzzi for a spin.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I have a few other things I need to get done down here.”

  “Why don’t you come up with me?” I tugged on his hands.

  “No, you go ahead.”

  I watched as he went back to the sofa to work. “I can wait.”

  “I’d rather not, but you go ahead.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m more of a shower guy.” He barely looked up from his work.

  “Well.” I wrapped an arm around him and leaned on him. “I have a hard time reaching things that need washing.”

  He finally looked at me. “I’ll wash them for you anytime. My shower door is always open.”

  “You won’t use the Jacuzzi with me at all, will you?”

  He shrugged. “I’m really not a bath guy.”

  I looked around and saw more photos of Joyce. I took my arm off him. Maybe the road would be good once I got away from Lance.

  “You know, I’m really tired. I think I’ll just head home.”

  He looked up. “Are you sure? This shouldn’t take too long. I’ll be finished by the time you’re out.”

  “I’m sure.” I kissed his cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Don’t work too late.” I stopped and turned to look at him as I stepped through the doorway. He’d probably work all night since I was leaving.

  When your whole reason for breathing is threatened, the world stops. Red lights no longer slow you down. You don’t see them. You only see the person you’re about to lose. I lost the person on the other end of the chase once before. I would not lose another person again.

  The tires screeched as I pulled in the driveway. I was certain I’d have seen smoke come off them if I’d only turned around. I wasn’t turning around for anything, though. My daughter needed me.

  I hit the door and somehow, calmed down. I knew I needed to. I knew they couldn’t see me upset. Because we were talking about my daughter, I needed to act as if this was just another business meeting. Stay cool. Stay in control. Win at all costs.

  “Mr. Williamson?” A slender woman with no shape to her whatsoever had stood as soon as I had come into the front room. Her bun spoke of her no-nonsense attitude, as did her posture.

  I extended my arm to shake her hand. “Yes, I am Amy’s father. How may I help you?”

  Deb was sitting by the window and hadn’t made a move. She appeared to be shaking. Her hands were under her legs, but her shoulders still shook. I turned my attention back to the woman who hadn’t yet introduced herself.

  “I was t
old to come home to discuss Amy’s wellbeing. I’m here.” I motioned to the woman standing before me. “Speak, and please start with your name and why you felt it was important to disrupt my home today.”

  “Mr. Williamson, my name is Miss Jenson. I’m with the Department of Human Services. We’ve received a complaint that your child is in the care of a murderer.”

  “I’m sorry, but you have been misinformed. My child’s care should be of no concern to anyone.”

  “It is a concern to us.” She motioned for me to take a seat. I remained standing. “Debra has already admitted to killing a man.”

  I looked at Deb. “It was in self-defense. I’d hardly call that a murderer.”

  “We’re looking into it, but do you think it’s safe to have your child around someone unstable?” She looked at Deb.

  “I’ve discussed it with her therapist. Deb is quite stable. She might even be more stable than the two of us.”

  Miss. Jensen tilted her head. “How do you mean?”

  “Are you in therapy?” I shook my head. “I know I’m not. She’s seeking treatment for the trauma she’s been through. I see no reason to punish her or label her a murderer because she helped save the lives of several people in that room.”

  She started writing something down in her notebook. I turned at the sound of someone walking down the stairs. That woman was a little less rigid than Miss Jensen. Her hair was down and her slacks and blouse seemed more casual. I looked up to Amy’s room and she stood in her doorway, looking sad.

  I walked over as the woman stepped off the last step. “Who gave you permission to speak to my child?”

  “Don’t worry. I’m on your side.” She turned to Miss Jensen. “We can do follow up visits if you’d like, but there is no reason to take this girl away from her home.”

  “I think we need to discuss things before making such announcements.”

  “Not this time, Alice.” She turned to me and held out her hand. “My name is Kristie Miles. I’m a child psychologist and was asked to evaluate your daughter.”

  I shook her hand. “And?”

  “And you have a very bright child. I’m sorry for the loss of her mother. I commend you for getting her help for that. That alone tells me you’re a wonderful father.”

  “Kristie, we really need to discuss this and file our report. We will be in contact.” She started to leave.

  “Yes, we will be filing a report of unfounded. There’s no need to further waste anyone’s time.” She looked at Deb. “She says you’re doing a great job. I have to agree.”

  “Kristie, really!” Miss Jensen was quite furious.

  “Alice, there are families who need us to intervene. This isn’t one of them.”

  “Why did you even come to my home?”

  “I can only say there was an anonymous call that Amy was being cared for by someone who shouldn’t be near her. I have found no evidence of that.” She looked at Deb again. “I’m sorry if we frightened you.”

  Deb continued to look out the window while Miss Jensen started to ask me more questions. “Is it true you sleep on the sofa?”

  I looked at her. “I work extremely long hours. I work on the sofa to be available for Amy.”

  “I didn’t ask you about your working habits. I asked if you slept on the sofa.”

  “I don’t see how that is of any concern.”

  “It isn’t sending a great message to your child.” Miss Jensen wasn’t giving up. She looked down to her papers again. “How many women do you have coming through your home?”

  “In what capacity?” I stepped closer. “There are mothers of my daughter’s friends who come and pick Amy up. Sometimes they help Amy pack for overnight trips because they’ll know what she needs better than I will.

  “There’s also her grandmother. Granted, she isn’t around much because they live in a different state, but she’s still welcome whenever they come to town.” I motioned to Deb. “You’ve met the woman caring for my child. She does an amazing job teaching Amy how to cook.” I motioned around the room. “And even though it really isn’t in her job duties, the house hasn’t looked better since my wife died. Anyone else you’d like to ask about?”

  “Are you seeing anyone?”

  I caught Deb glance at me out of the corner of my eye. “Yes, I am. Her name is Rachael.”

  “Care to explain why you left her out?” She moved on when I didn’t respond. I had no reason for why I had forgotten her. “Does she spend the night?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Where?” She looked at the sofa. “Does she share the sofa with you?”

  “We stay in the guest room.”

  “What kind of message do you think that sends to your daughter?”

  “My daughter isn’t old enough to understand what’s going on.”

  “I beg to differ.” She put her notebook in her briefcase and looked at her partner. “I’m not finished with this family yet. I will do a full report.”

  We all watched as she walked out. The other woman had walked up next to me. “I’ll speak to her and our superior. I’ll be in touch.”

  I watched as Deb watched them walk to their car. “You are staying home now, right?”

  I looked at my watch. It was still early, but it was an upsetting day for all. “Yes, I can stay.”

  She got up and grabbed her purse. I stopped her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head. I saw her chin quiver and knew she just wanted to leave. “You are doing an amazing job. I admit I had my reservations about this arrangement, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

  She nodded and left. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked up to Amy’s room. She had shut her door. I didn’t have any answers, but I knew she would have questions. I went to see what kind damage control I could do. She had looked so sad standing in her doorway earlier.

  I knocked and entered slowly. “Amy?”

  “Yeah, Dad?”

  I walked in and she had her mother’s photo in her hand. She didn’t look sad anymore. “I came up to ask how you were.”

  “I’m okay.” She looked up and smiled. “How are you?”

  I forced a half smile. “I’m well if you are.” I sat next to her. “Did you want to talk about what happened today?”

  “No, did you?”

  “Well, I wondered what the ladies had talked to you about.”

  “Just the nice one talked to me. She just wanted to know about Mom and who was here since she died.”

  I looked up to the ceiling. I hated whoever had set this in motion. I vowed to find out and to become the murderer they had claimed Deb to be. Amy crawled into my lap.

  “I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around me. “I know talking about Mom makes you sad.”

  I held tightly to my little girl. “I miss your mother tremendously, but I will always be willing to talk about her with you.”

  “I don’t want them to make Deb go away.”

  “She isn’t going anywhere.”

  “She said it may be best for her to leave.”

  I let go and looked in Amy’s eyes. “She said that to protect you. If they were going to make an issue of it, she would rather leave than to see you hurt. She’ll be back.”

  “Okay.” I let her get off my lap and put her mother’s photo back on her nightstand. I needed to make her happy again. I needed to wipe away the pain from that day and take her mind off it.

  “Would you like to go out tonight?”

  She shrugged. “Where did you want to go?”

  “Remember the pizza arcade—”

  She started jumping up and down. “Yes! Can Rachael come?”

  I smiled a real smile. “We can ask.”

  It wasn’t the best dinner, but the ice cream I had started when I left Carl’s place over the paperclip looked better than anything else in my kitchen. I really needed to go shopping for groceries soon.

  The attorney ads in the phonebook all screamed ambulance chas
ers. I wanted a hard-hitting asshole to deal with Lance. It’s what he deserved, but unfortunately, no one was listed under hard-hitting asshole.

  The door buzzed and startled me. I must’ve been concentrating a little too hard on the ads in the phonebook. I pressed the talk button. “Yeah?”

  “Hey, beautiful. May we come up?”

  “Carl?” I looked at the pit otherwise known as my apartment. “Uh, who else is with you?”

  “I am! I want to see your house.” Amy sounded excited and I smiled.

  “Sure, come on up, sweets.”

  I buzzed them up and ran to put the ice cream in the freezer. I picked up all the clothes I had started to fold, but didn’t finish. I tossed a few coffee cups I should’ve thrown away sooner. I took one last look around as I ran to answer the door.

  “Hey!” I was breathless and Carl’s lips twitched.

  Amy ran in and started looking around. Carl put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. “We just walked the stairs. Why are you breathless?” I smiled as he leaned in to kiss me.

  “You’re not going to do that at the pizza place are you?” asked Amy.

  I backed up and wiped my lips with the back of my hand as I shut the door. I caught a glimpse of Deb walking into the apartment down the hall from me. She didn’t look happy. I was tempted to find out what happened, but I was sure she wasn’t going there to talk.

  I turned back to Carl and Amy. “What pizza place?”

  It was loud and busy. I wasn’t sure how anyone could keep track of their children in a place like that. As I looked around, all the children seemed to look alike. I looked back to Carl who had never taken his eyes off Amy.

  “I’m glad she was able to bring a friend. We would be out there if she couldn’t come.” He smiled.

  I still hadn’t wrapped my head around what he told me about that afternoon. “Who do you think called them?”

  He shrugged. “I really don’t know. I haven’t told anyone about Deb, but it isn’t exactly a secret. It was all over the news.”

  I nodded. It also explained why she looked the way she had when I saw her going into that apartment. I hoped she answered her phone later.