Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  I walked to the side of desk and looked at the clock. It was almost time, and I hoped they didn’t have a late start. I didn’t have a lot of leeway for what was about to happen. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I started what would be the end, one way, or another.

  I opened my eyes and looked in his as he stepped inches from me. “You’ve never been a man to respect. You’ve been the means to the road. You hurt me when you took that from me, but make no mistake about it. I only felt for the road. I was confused, but I never felt for you.”

  Exactly as I imaged, he went for my throat first, wrapping one hand around it. He slammed me against the wall he had slammed me against before.

  “I will enjoy killing you.”

  I had slapped his arm and clawed at his hand to no avail. He turned me and slammed me on the desk. He moved things out of my way as I tried to reach them. I needed something to hit him with.

  He loosened his grip just a little to allow air to pass. “I can keep this up all day.” He bent down close to my ear. “How about you?” His grip tightened tighter than before. I thought my throat was going to collapse.

  He pulled me up again and looked down at my feet. “Take them off.”

  I gripped his jacket, trying not to pass out. I couldn’t get my feet to cooperate. It was a struggle just to move them. He had enough of my inability to follow directions and slammed me on the desk again.

  “You can’t even follow directions to save your life!” He let go and bent down toward my feet to remove my heels for me. I shoved him as hard as I could and he lost his balance, crashing into the wall. “You’re going to pay for that.”

  He came at me again, but I lifted my legs and kicked his chest with my heels, sending him flying backwards. My legs were shaky, but I stood and headed for the door. I was yanked back by my hair and tossed to the floor. He got two kicks in before the door burst open.

  There were several men, with Jimmy at the lead, pulling him off me. I had linked my webcam to the conference room I knew Jimmy had scheduled a meeting in. I just had to wait long enough for them to turn the greeting off on the projector.

  Once Jimmy was satisfied the other guys had Lance, he came over to sit next to me on the floor and held his head in his hands as I coughed. “I don’t know whether to take you to the hospital or finish the job myself.”

  The hospital was something I could’ve done without. I hadn’t gone the other times I was mishandled; I didn’t think I needed to go that time. Jimmy wasn’t letting me out of his sight until I was taken to an exam room. It had taken longer to get in and wait for the discharge papers than it did to be seen. They gave me pain meds, which I didn’t mind, and wrapped my ribs.

  I looked up as I had expected the nurse to come in with discharge papers, but had seen Juliet instead. “How are you?”

  “I’ll live.” My voice was gruff from the trauma and coughing I had done afterward. It seemed to make the situation more real to her and her eyes widened. “Why are you here?”

  “I really don’t know.” She looked away briefly. “I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I don’t know why you care.”

  “I saw the video.” She shrugged. “I just had to see if you were all right.”

  “Well.” I cleared my throat. “You’ve come, and now you can leave.”

  “I never meant for any of this to happen, you know.” She felt guilty. She needed to rid herself of the guilt to move on.

  I wasn’t in a forgiving mood. “You took my boyfriend, my home, eventually my job and you never meant for this to happen?” I shook my head. “Yes, let’s all gather around the campfire now and tell our favorite stories of the past two years because it was a grand fucking time.”

  “Rachael!” My mother walked in and I lowered my head. “I did not raise you to treat people like that.”

  I nodded, but still hadn’t raised my head. If I were honest, I didn’t regret saying it, but I had wished I’d noticed my mother before I said it.

  “Excuse my daughter for being rude.” She held out her hand. “My name is Gloria.”

  Juliet was hesitant, but took it. “My name is Juliet. And it’s okay. I did deserve it.”

  I looked up when Juliet had introduced herself. My mother knew her by name. She knew she was the one who changed my life. I wondered how my mother was going to react.

  “I don’t agree.”

  “Mom?” I couldn’t believe she still thought I was rude to her.

  “I’m glad to have met you today.” She held onto Juliet’s hand. “If it weren’t for you, my daughter would still be with that wretched man. If you hadn’t had an affair with him, she’d still be following him around, living a miserable existence. Now she’s free to love a real man.

  “It may have been a rocky couple of years. It wasn’t all roses for her, but she’s free now and for that, I feel blessed. Really, we have you to thank for getting her out of that relationship.” She finally let go of her hand, and Juliet wasted no time leaving.

  I smiled at my mother. “So that’s how you do it without being rude, huh?”

  She looked me over and shook her head. “What am I going to do with my girls? I swear you’re giving me more troubles than your brothers.”

  I rolled my eyes. “My brothers are just better at hiding it.”

  “You’re coming home with me. I don’t want you to go home to your apartment alone.”

  “Mom.” I placed my hand on hers. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”

  “You’re my daughter. It’s my job to worry about you.” She looked at me and smiled. “You’ve got somewhere else in mind, don’t you?”

  I smiled and then frowned. “We have a lot of work to do, but I really do want to try.” I looked up. “I just don’t know how to help him.”

  “All you can do is to be there for him. He’ll come around.”

  With Damon’s concern for my wellbeing, I thought it best I walk down to the supply room myself. The small paperclips weren’t going to work. I needed to find the bigger ones.

  I was so anxious to start working on it again I hadn’t taken my eyes off the bundle of boxes I was carrying. I thought if I stared at the picture of the paperclip long enough, it would come to me. I wasn’t very good at creative things. Lost in my concentration, I missed that someone was stepping off the elevator as I was stepping on.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” I looked up to see who I’d run into and saw Cecilia. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was looking for you. Your assistant told me you weren’t available.”

  “I’m not.” I stepped into the elevator before the doors closed. I sighed when she walked in with me. “I really am busy.”

  She nodded toward the paperclips in my hands. “I can see that. I just thought you may need me.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Why?”

  “I’m sure Amy misses me and it probably isn’t the same without me there.”

  “You’re right. It’s better.” I looked up to the ceiling. “My apologies. That was rude. There’s no fighting with the person caring for Amy. We both enjoy her company and we all get along well. Sometimes family isn’t the best fit for the situation.”

  “I thought you’d need someone.”

  I took a step toward her. “You’re the one who called, aren’t you? You little bitch.”

  The elevator door opened and I pushed the button to close it. I jabbed the button for the main floor and when the elevator started to go, I hit the emergency stop. She backed up.

  I backed her further into the corner. “You will leave my family alone. You will leave Rachael’s family alone. Is that clear?”

  “How can you let a murderer care for your child?”

  “She isn’t a murderer! If you took the time to learn about the situation instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe you’d be a more pleasant person to be around, but you don’t. You have to live in your little fantasy of what the world is like and believe me
, you have no clue how the real world works.”

  “You didn’t see her freak out at the mall the way I did. Why should I sit back and let her take care of my niece? Someone like her shouldn’t be caring for a child!”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “At the mall when I . . .” She trailed off when she realized I had no clue what she was talking about.

  I dropped the paperclips and backed her in the corner further. “What did you do?”

  She pushed on my chest. “It was a long time ago!”

  “You’re not getting off this elevator until you tell me what you did!”

  “I reported them to the police!”

  I backed up. “For what?”

  She stood up straight and smoothed out her skirt. “I saw them at the mall, and I just wanted to cause Rachael grief. She’d caused me a lot of grief.”

  I shook my head as I started the elevator again. “The difference between you and them is they never set out to hurt anyone. You only have yourself to blame for any grief you felt.” I picked up the paperclips I had dropped. “Unless it’s a family function where we are required to communicate, you are not allowed around Amy again.” I backed her into the corner once more before the doors opened. “If you want to come face-to-face with a murderer, test me.”

  It had been a long, exhausting day. My back hurt from hunching over the desk so much, my fingers and shoulders hurt from the detailed work I was attempting to do, and the pokes and scrapes my hands received from all the broken paperclips were starting to burn. I finally had accomplished what I had set out to do. I only had one thing left.

  I cleared my throat and adjusted my tie after I knocked on the door. To my surprise, Dennis Sr. answered. “May I help you?”

  “Yes, sir.” I held out my hand and it took a minute for him to take it. “There’s something I’d like to speak with you about, if I may.”

  “We aren’t buying anything today, son.”

  “I’m not selling anything.”

  He squinted his eyes at me. “Do I know you?”

  Gloria had come around the corner, drying her hands on a dishtowel. “Dennis, is everything okay?” She walked up and looked at me. I backed up and checked the house number when she smiled at me.

  I looked at the clock again and checked my watch. Deb was sick of my pacing. “Why don’t you go get a drink? You know where he keeps it in the den.”

  “I’m not sure alcohol is the best decision right now. I need to keep my head clear for this conversation.” I looked at my watch again. “He’s really late. What if he drove by and saw my car?”

  She shook her head as she put the chicken in the oven. “I wish you’d take just a little drink and relax.”

  “I shouldn’t mix it with the pain pills.”

  “You haven’t taken any pain pills to mix with it yet.” She turned me toward the door and walked me out. “Go. Please. You’re making me nervous.”

  Pain medication had made me sleepy in the past, but I needed to be awake for what I wanted to say to Carl. It might help ease the pain and my nerves if I took a small drink.

  I opened the door and headed for the bar, but the mess on his desk stopped me. I walked over to get a closer look. There were broken and bent paperclips tossed all over his desk. I picked one up. Deb came up behind me and startled me.

  “Yeah, what’s up with that? They were all over the living room, too. I didn’t know these were in here or I would’ve cleaned them up.”

  I smiled. “I’m not entirely sure, but I think they have something to do with my paperclip meltdown.” I turned around.

  “You two are very strange.” She turned and walked out.

  I no longer needed the drink. I took a couple of the broken paperclips with me to the sofa. I couldn’t stop looking at them or smiling. I hoped it meant he was trying to find a way to make one perfect again. I thought he was trying to prove me wrong.

  Deb walked in and rolled her eyes. “You’re going to stare at them all night.”

  “Fine. I’ll put them down.” I needed to talk to her anyway. “Drew’s really excited about her flowers.”

  She shrugged. “I’m glad she’s happy with the plans.”

  “You’re really good with flowers. Why don’t you open a shop?”

  She looked at me. “No one will buy flowers from me.”

  “Why not?”

  “Have a funeral? Get flowers at Deb’s Dew Drops. And if she killed the deceased, the flowers are half off.”

  I ignored her comment and smiled. “Deb’s Dew Drops?”

  “I need to check the chicken.”

  I scrambled to follow her. I needed to make sure she didn’t sneak out. “You already named it.”

  “It was just what popped into my head.”

  “Liar.” I smiled as she sat at the kitchen table. “I think you should do it.”

  “What about Amy?”

  “Well, technically I’m out of a job now.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I’m not going back there.” I sat next to her. “Look, we’ll take care of Amy. I want you to follow your dreams.”

  She smiled. “You just said ‘we’ when talking about taking care of Amy.”

  I shrugged. “So? Quit trying to change the subject. We’re discussing your future. Not mine. You really should open a store. You’d be a wonderful florist.”

  “I would like that, but it would be quite the gamble to take my divorce settlement and put it all on one thing.”

  “I think it’s fantastic.” I hugged her and winced. “When is Carl coming home?”

  She got up and got me a glass of water. “Take one pill. Please.”

  I nodded. I would only take one to take the edge off. It was starting to hurt more and I needed to be able to concentrate on our conversation. I took the water to the living room where my purse was and took the pill.

  My pillow felt so soft. I didn’t want to get up, but I had to use the bathroom. I sighed and rolled to get out of bed. The twinge of pain where Lance kicked me reminded me of the terrible day I had before. I smiled. It may have been a risky and painful way to get out, but no judge would make me stay in that contract if it went to court.

  Carl’s voice startled me. “Do you need help?”

  I sat up and placed my feet on the floor. “Jesus, you scared me. If I didn’t have to pee before, I definitely do now.” I realized I hadn’t talked to him, as I wanted to. The pain pill must have knocked me out. It would have to wait for morning. I was still too tired.

  I felt him move in bed before I stood up. “Don’t turn the light on. I know my way around. Just go back to sleep.”

  I walked to the bathroom door and opened it. I reached in and turned the light on, but took a step back when I saw what was in there. I stepped back into Carl and was startled again.

  “The setup in the guest room is opposite of this room. This is my closet. The master bath is on the other side of the room.”

  I turned and looked at him. The light from the closet wasn’t much, but it was enough to see his face and the bed behind him. He had taken me to his master bedroom. We slept in his bed. I looked to his face again. I couldn’t speak.

  “Don’t you have to use the restroom?” He pointed behind him.

  I shook my head. I still couldn’t speak. I searched his eyes for answers. I had hoped it meant what I thought it meant, but I couldn’t be sure, and I was too terrified to ask.

  He reached over to the dresser next to us and picked up a small box. “You will marry me someday.”

  I covered my mouth as I watched him open the box. I had to be dreaming. It had to be the pain medication messing with my mind.

  “Right now I want to make a promise to you.” He took the ring out. “I promise to love you for all of your imperfections as long as you promise to love me for mine.” He took a deep breath. “When things get bent and broken, it doesn’t mean they should get tossed aside. They just need to find the other half who can make th
em whole—the other half who can turn their imperfections into something beautiful.”

  He took my hand and placed the ring on my finger. “You are my other half. I can’t lose you, Rach.”

  No matter how much it hurt, I threw my arms around him and hung on to him tight. I didn’t care if it was a dream. I never wanted to wake up.

  “I take this to mean you’ll be my girl?”

  I pulled back a little and held his face. “I’ve always been your woman.”

  He smiled. “Point taken, woman.” He kissed me over to the bathroom door and backed away. “Now, go to the bathroom so we can talk.” He turned me and smacked my ass.

  I walked in and smiled as I leaned against the closed door. At that point, I really did need to go.

  I turned when the door closed and looked at the bed. The impressions where we were sleeping moments before caught my eye. It wasn’t as difficult to lay Rachael in my bed as I thought it would’ve been. I wanted her there. I looked to the ceiling and thought of Joy. I knew she would be happy for me, but it didn’t make the guilt go away.

  I never wanted to see Rachael in pain, but I was happy to have a reason to go slow that night. I’d never had another woman in my bed after my wife. I needed to take it one step at a time.

  “Oh, my God!” The door flew open and startled me.

  “What? Are you okay?”

  She walked up and kissed me hard. “I love you.”

  “I love you.” I looked at her. “Did you just realize that?”

  “No, I went to wash my hands and realized my ring was made out of paperclips.” She kissed me. “Don’t worry. I took it off before I washed them.”

  I placed my forehead to hers. “I’ll get you a better ring—”

  “It’s perfect.” She kissed me again. “It’s perfect.”

  I smiled when she couldn’t keep her eyes off it. “Well, your father wasn’t impressed.”

  She looked at me. “My father?”

  “Yes, I don’t ask a girl,” I said, and then cleared my throat, “woman to marry me if I don’t have her father’s blessing first.”