Saving Georgia

by Kristin Flynn

  Where are you?

  Shane

  Are you OK?

  Shane

  Damnit, respond I’m freaking out!

  S

  Georgia, I swear if you don’t let me know you’re alright I am going to be mad as hell

  S

  That’s it! I am on my way over to your house now! You better be home and have a damn good explanation.

  ME

  I went to reply to the text, but it was too late.

  “Georgia! Shane is here, and he looks pissed!” Jenn calls up the stairs.

  Crap, how can I have boy talk with him? How do I tell him I couldn’t reply back to him because I was sucking face with the hottest boy in school, and by gosh I hope you understand and we’re still friends and that this conversation isn’t awkward as all get out. Yeah, I am so sure that will roll over smoothly.

  Seconds later I hear his pounding footsteps up the stairs, and before I know it there’s a tall, sweat soaked and rained on boy in my doorway.

  “Well, what good possible explanation do you have for yourself?” Shane asks me with such anger in his voice. “Do you know I have been driving all over God's creation looking for you?” He continues with such a look on his face of relief mixed with frustration and pain. My carelessness hits me again twice today. Gosh I seem to be hitting some buttons today.

  “I don’t. Honestly I probably couldn’t apologize enough to you. My selfishness seemed to have gotten the better of me today and I promise to you that I will not do that again. It was reckless, I know.” My heart is sinking. It was such a great day today with Jason, and I loved every uncomfortable moment of it, but seeing this look on Shane’s face is more than I can bear. Jenn is one thing, because I know she will never leave me, but Shane has no obligation to me and I cannot picture my life without him.

  “Jesus Georgia.” Shane breathes out, heavy and then next thing I know he picks me up and crushes me to his chest.

  The welcomed affection was what my heart needed right now. I can’t even fathom having him this mad at me. Now I am even more angry with myself.

  “Just don’t do that to me, ever again.” Shane almost cries and rubs my back, and holds my head close to his chest. I can hear his heartbeat, and it calms me back down to such a peace where I could fall asleep. My mind has had enough to bear with today.

  Jenn re-emerges up the stairs and stands in the doorway.

  “Georgy. You got a letter today.” She says.

  I blink at her, confused. I hardly ever get mail. “I did?” I ask handing out my hand. Quickly, and without thinking I open it up. My eyes skim the letter, while Shane was still holding me to his chest. Finally it hit me and that’s all it took.

  “Georgia!” I heard Shane’s voice ring, and then it was black. “What the hell was in that letter Jenn?” He screams.

  “I don’t know hold on.” Jenn rushes and I feel her peel the paper from between my fingers.

  “Oh my gosh, Shane! I know you have no idea what this means, but Cecil is up for early release.” Jenn urges and her voice keeps getting smaller and smaller. “Mom? You’ve got to come home right now.” That is the last thing I can make out. Everything else is too small to understand.

  Chapter 4

  It’s dark. The place smells familiar. The light is dim, and has that old fashioned electrical sound to it. It’s damp. I can feel the earth below me. It smells musky. My hands feel gritty, as does my feet and knees. My feet are so cold. My skin is a million sensations, prickled with Goosebumps, my hair standing straight up. My flesh is submerged by filth, and sweat. My muscles feel almost atrophied. I can’t seem to muster up any strength. I see there is a window above me, but I’m much too weak and short to reach it. I am hungry, very hungry. I lean forward to see if I can find anything to eat. I can’t move far, my wrists are heavy. There are chains! I am chained up! There’s a little sliver of light, a few inches ahead of me. I put my hands in front of me and use my fingers to grab the dirt ahead of me to pull myself up to the light. I was able to dig down deep and get a good look at myself and I saw a deep purple cuff around my forearms that stood out from my pale as plaster skin, and wondered wildly what the rest of my body looks like. I want to cry, but I can’t make any tears or noise. I try and try to call out but my mouth just makes these inaudible noises. I want my mommy! I am so hungry! When was the last time I went potty? I can’t remember. How long have I been here? My back hurts, and my head hurts. I think I am bleeding. I can hear the birds outside, and that’s nice. Can anyone hear me moving around? He hurts me. He hurts me alot. I used to be afraid of monsters under my bed, now I am afraid of much scarier things. Now I am afraid of him.

  What did I do that was so wrong? I won’t hurt anyone, I promise. Why does he keep me locked down here? Why can’t I be in the rest of my own home? I don’t like the way that he talks to me, or the way he touches me when he isn’t hitting me or throwing things at me. I miss my mommy so much. Mommy wouldn’t let this happen to me.

  He always smells bad. He smells like alcohol and other things that I don’t know what they are but they smell really bad; really, really bad. When he smells that bad, that’s when the bad things happen.

  I have been in these clothes for a long time. I don’t know if I am wearing underwear or not, and I don’t have the strength to check. I smell bad. I need a bath, and I think I should probably see a doctor. I feel dizzy. I feel something gross, wet and slimy sliding down my legs. I don’t know what it is.

  I miss my friends. I am lonely and scared. I am very scared. God can you hear me? God, could you please help me? Please don’t let him hurt me anymore. I have no one to take care of me God. I have no family, but I don’t want him around me anymore .I don’t like what he does to me. I’m hungry God, so very hungry. I’m dirty too, which isn’t so bad compared to the…. It hurts, oh the pain hurts so bad God! Please help me. Or let me come with you. Please God let this stop. I don’t think I have anything left, no fight left in me. I need you God, one way or another. Please, show me mercy of some way, some Grace, somehow.

  It must be hours that I have been awake, right? The light is starting to fade. I’m getting colder, and I think I am going to pass back out. Please, I need food. I need warmth, but most of all I need to feel some love. Please God, please God hear me!

  Footsteps, I hear footsteps! No please, please no! Don't! Please God no! I sit up with such a quickness. The chains are cutting in deep to my flesh. It hurts! I want to cry, I want to scream. Please don’t come down here, please don’t come down here, please don’t come down here. I’m so afraid God. God just take me now, don’t let me leave this earth by his hand. The footsteps are right above me. The light bulb sways from his weight above. There’s more than one set, I think. I can’t tell. The door is stuck and he is trying to pull it open. He bangs it loudly! I scurry into the corner, and I have no idea how I did it. Fear is an amazing thing I guess. Please don’t come down here, please don’t come down here….

  Bang! The door is not budging and he is hitting it hard! Suddenly it flies open and I scream! I scream! I hear my voice!

  “Georgia wake up!” Shane shakes me awake. “You’re screaming in your sleep!”

  Chapter 5

  Waking up in Shane’s arms has never before been a goal of mine, especially when I have a nightmare. I feel really light headed and I’m trying to figure out why I am being cradled by my best friend. What could have put me in such a situation? How and why did he bear witness to me having a nightmare? Suddenly it hit me, and I started to remember that I got mail that said that Cecil was up for parole. This can’t be true, just cannot be true. I am slowly trying to put myself together.

  “You feel ok?” Shane asks weary as ever.

  “Yeah. I’m OK. Just took me by surprise is all.” I bluff. I don’t think he believes it any more than I do.

  Jenn is kneeling beside Shane and it looks like she had been crying.

  “Jenn? Are you ok?” I ask, more concerned for her well-being th
an my own.

  “Yeah, just scared is all. I’m fine now.” She says under her breath, as if she didn’t want to be rude and not answer, but she didn’t want me to know the truth. Quickly I move over and crawl into her lap and hold her, stroking her head to calm her down. I hate that now Cecil is negatively impacting my little safe zone, my family. Though we may have no blood relation, we have something even stronger. We have a spiritual connection and there is nothing that could ever break that. These faces, these people are my home, my family.

  “Jenn it’s OK. I’m OK. Nothing is going to happen.” I assure her. God, if you can hear me please don’t let her be upset; please keep her safe, happy and healthy.

  “Mom is on her way home. She will be here any minute. I told her what happened.” Jenn gushes out and starts to sob.

  “It’s OK, everything is OK. He won’t get out, and I am fine. Look!” I attempt to make her smile, and it appears to be in vain.

  Shane started pacing the bedroom. His eyes glassed over and I can feel tenseness radiating from his body.

  “Shane? What’s going on?” I ask hesitatingly.

  “What does this mean? Why did you faint when you got that letter? Who is this guy and why does he have such a horrible effect on you?” Shane all but barked out from behind clenched teeth.

  “Now is not the time for that, and frankly I don’t know if there will ever be a good time to get into it. I really don’t like going back to that place. Please Shane, please don’t ask me to share this,” I beg. “Just trust me that this isn’t good news, and that hopefully he won’t be liberated into the public. He’s a very bad man, and he is no longer part of my life and I have every intention of keeping it that way.” I told him, grabbing his hands and looking him square into the eye.

  “You can trust me! Please let me know what is going on!” Shane pleads.

  “I do trust you Shane. It’s me that I don’t trust, and it’s him that I most certainly don’t trust. I cannot relive that part of my life.” I sigh.

  “OK. That’s fine. I’m sorry.” Shane continues, “I just don’t want you to hurt anymore, whatever it is. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do.”

  “Being you is all I need, Shane. I promise. Just neither of you two leave me, like ever leave me.”

  “Georgy you know I am not going anywhere.” Jenn rushes through her perfectly glossed lips.

  “I know. Thank you.” I mutter, trying to hold back a sob while my breath hitches in the back of my throat.

  “Me either sweetheart.” Shane offers in his most modest try of genuine endearment a teenage boy could offer. I know he will always be there for me, no matter any circumstance.

  Suddenly the front door crashes open, and footsteps are rushed up the front stairs. Within seconds, Mrs. Hyde is in my bedroom, pushing by both Jenn and Shane and cradling me in her warm, motherly embrace.

  “Baby, are you OK? It’s alright, I am here.” Mrs. Hyde croons.

  “I’m OK mama. It just caught me off guard. I’m fine.” I assure her.

  “Shane baby, we need to have a family talk, would you mind?” Mrs. Hyde pleads, with a hint of forgiveness in her eyes.

  “I understand ma’am. “

  “No really. There is nothing to talk about. I am fine, nothing is going to happen, nothing will change and everything is fine.” I don’t know who I am trying to convince more at this point, them or me.

  “It’s OK baby. I know this must be upsetting. Don’t you worry.” Mrs. Hyde assures me with her most soothing voice possible.

  “I know. I’m not worried. Can we just drop this now? Please?” I plead everyone, and finally I think the issue might just be dropped. Not one person objected, and everyone’s face is painted in defeat.

  “Thank you. Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ve had enough excitement for a day, and I’d like to get some rest.” I push, trying to get everyone to take a hint and get on out my room.

  “Ok sweetie, I’m just down the hall.” Mrs. Hyde says, standing up and making her way out the door, stopping first to give Jenn and me a kiss on the cheek.

  “OK Georgia.” Shane says, stepping out the hall. Jenn lingers for a minute then follows suit.

  Quickly I grab some pajamas and made my way into the shower. I swiftly disrobed, turned the water as hot as it would go, and jumped in. The soothing steam and spitting spray of therapeutic heated water calmed me almost instantly. My mind was a racing machine, covering the whole day, from playing hooky with Jason Grimes, stealing kisses all day long to fainting in front of Shane and trying to explain to everyone that I am OK. It’s just all too much to bear, and I let myself sob, knowing that no one will hear me good and well from the radio playing in the other room, and the sound of the raining shower head, I will not be found out. It felt so gut-wrenching good to let it all out. All the pent up sorrow, embarrassment and pain to release it was just ecstasy.

  After I towel dried off, and got dressed I looked in the mirror and I saw my face is a little puffy. I slapped on some of Jenn’s department store face cream and tied my hair in a ponytail.

  I made my way back into my bedroom with my oversized sweat pants and tank top, and I saw that Jenn made herself a little bed on my floor.

  “What are you doing?” I asked out of curiosity.

  “I’m sleeping with you. We hadn’t had a sleepover in forever, and we have a big day with Harper tomorrow, and I know you get cranky with no sleep so I am doing myself a favor and spending the night here with you so I know you’ll get some much needed rest and you’ll be less of a fussy pants.” Jenn stated, I think knowingly so I wouldn’t feel so bad knowing she was there to help stop the nightmares, because my first few years we shared a room because I felt safer with her around, or Mrs. Hyde. I know the real reason she is staying in my room, and frankly it’s heartwarming and welcoming.

  I slept soundly. When we woke, we made our way down to the kitchen and Jenn cooked me breakfast; sausage, eggs and potatoes! It was so delicious. We hurried and got dressed so we can get to Raleigh before the traffic picks up; it’s about an hour commute and the less time in the car the better.

  “Are we meeting her there, or is she riding with us?” I asked Jenn, as we were getting our stuff together to get into the car.

  “I think we’re meeting her there, but let me check.” She states, as she picks up her cell phone to call Harper Kelly.

  “Hey Harp! Are we meeting you there, or are you riding with?” Jenn asks in her super sweet, debutante voice. “OK. Cool. See you then.” She says, hanging up, then she turns to me with a smile on her pretty face and says “She’s meeting us in the food court at Crabtree Valley.”

  And with that, we were on our way. Jake Owen’s ‘Barefoot Blue Jean Night’ was the first song on the radio and I was instantly in a great mood. This has all the makings for a great day.

  “So are you going to give me any details about the whole Jason thing?” Jenn asks, before we even get out the driveway might I add.

  “No!” was my knee-jerk reaction. Then I laughed and smiled and frankly I am not sure exactly what I want to tell, if anything at all. “I don’t know… what do you want to know?” I ask, fully knowing that this could be regrettable.

  “Everything of course! What’s the deal? Are y’all boyfriend-girlfriend status, or just messing around or … gosh I don’t know, you need to tell me something!” Jenn spits out before I can make heads or tails of the whole thing.

  “No, definitely not an item if that’s what you mean. And I don’t know if I want to be or not, I don’t think I trust myself enough around him. The whole thing is intimidating, to be honest. I’m just kind of rolling with the punches for now, and enjoying the moment.” I think that’s about as honest I can get about the whole situation to be frank.

  “That tells me about absolutely nothing! Is he a good kisser?” She is seriously prying for more information? Gosh.

  “Like I would have any comparison to give you an adequate form of measure!” I sc
off.

  “OK, true enough. But, did you enjoy it?” She smiles at me from behind her Jackie Kennedy sun glasses.

  “I did.” I admit, and it’s the first time I admitted that to anyone, including myself. And I did enjoy it, and it confused me, still confuses me and makes me smile…. amongst a million other things!

  “Well then, you’ve been thoroughly kissed. Do you feel like a new person?” Jenn asks with this huge, larger than life smile on her alabaster face.

  “Well,” I started off, and to think about it I haven’t mulled this over fully yet. “I do, in a way, and that’s the part I don’t like. I feel as if I am not being 100 percent true to myself in some fashion.”

  “What do you mean?” She asks, turning to face me dead on.

  “I mean, I’m not sure how my behavior ties in with my faith. I’m very much in turmoil on this.” I said, biting my lower lip, in high debate on this internally.

  “You’re not thinking about cashing in your V card or anything, are you?” She accosted me.

  “Goodness no!” I shriek, I think I almost braked on the highway when she threw that sword at me.

  “Then there is no big conundrum. Remember, we sin because we are sinners, not the other way around.” Jenn said turning back into her seat.

  I think that is the sagest advice she has given me in a long time. It’s a rite of passage, part of growing up – kissing boys that is – and as long as I’m not losing sight of what is really important, I suppose it’s not as bad as I had thought. However, this also doesn’t mean that I go kissing every boy there is either.

  “Well, then there you have it.” I offer, to kill the conversation. The rest of the ride in was filled with laughter and gossip of the rich and beautiful – from Channing Tatum to Mila Kunis – and I honestly loved every minute of it, trite information and all. I get why most women are attracted to Channing Tatum, but my reserve is still for a boy with a farmers tan – Luke Bryan, Brad Paisley and the like. I want a guy who can ride a tractor, drinks sweet tea and likes fried chicken on Sundays. It’s part of me, part of my DNA and I think one day I will have a plot of land big enough for cow pastures and while I’m cooking dinner I can look out the kitchen window and see my man tilling up the land. How rich of a life would that be?