Saving Georgia

by Kristin Flynn

  Jason keeps snuggling up to me while I am trying to play, but neither Shane nor I let ourselves get distracted, and finally I think Jason got the idea because he backed off.

  Once we finished, the crowd went back into the house for the most part, others took to the poolside and it was mainly Jason, Shane and I. The two main guys in my life and me; this couldn’t be more awkward if we tried.

  “Can I help you, bro?” Shane asks Jason.

  “Just wanting to spend some time with my girl, man.” Jason replies.

  “Georgia, I didn’t know you were seeing this guy?” Shane asks me.

  “No, we’re not dating. You of all people would know if I was dating anyone.” I assure Shane.

  “So then what is this?” Shane presses on.

  “A prelude to dating,” Jason answers him coyly. “I am just trying to get to know her man.”

  “If you hurt her, Jason I swear I will ruin your arm.” Shane hisses.

  “Shane.” I put up in protest.

  “I just want to protect you.” Shane whispers, kneeling in front of me.

  “You do.” I assured him, letting him know by touching his hands that my need for him knows no bounds. He’s my security blanket, my best friend and the only faded memory and string of normalcy left in my life.

  “I’m not seeing anyone else. How could I? Look at her.” Jason carries on, trying to ease the tension Shane radiates in our little conversation.

  “Exactly my point,” Shane says, trying to intimidate Jason. “Look at her, she’s beautiful, and sensitive and my best friend.”

  In this exact inopportune moment Jason plants a chaste kiss on my lips, which sends Shane into such a fury that he storms off. Harper calls out after him, but he ignores her.

  “Did you find any ginger ale?” I ask.

  “No. They just had Pepsi. Want some?” Jason asks, handing me a cup.

  “No thanks. I’ll see if I can find something else. Water maybe. I’ll be back.”

  “Hurry back soon.” Jason calls after me. I went outside to the cars and I found Shane putting his guitar in the back of his truck.

  “Not what you were expecting?” I ask, almost shyly.

  “Not even a little bit.” Shane scoffs.

  “Are you angry with me?” I ask, begging in my heart that the answer is no.

  “I’m angry, yes. But I don’t think I am angry with you. He’s not the right guy for you. He’s only using you. Guys like that, they get what they want and they walk away. I can’t and won’t see you with a broken heart.” Shane says, all while punching his truck.

  “Shane, he’s respecting my boundaries, and that has to count for something. Besides everyone sees me as plain old Georgia and for some God Forsaken reason he sees me as Georgia, and I don’t think anyone else ever will hold me in that light. It feels good to know that someone else is attracted to you. I’m not much to look at, and I know that, and I have more issues than Time magazine. No one is going to want me, to want all that I come with and I accepted that. You don’t know what it means, but you saw it first hand, how is anyone going to want to wake up to a girl screaming?” I tell him, exposing my poker hand and seeing where the chips fall.

  “You’re one ridiculous girl Georgia. None of that is true; there are a ton of guys who’d give anything to be with you. Please don’t sell yourself short.” Shane says, looking at me and taking my hands. “Trust me on this, will you?”

  “I do. Just let me see how this wind blows. If it’s too much, I will move on. Pinky Promise.”

  “No chance on me winning huh?” Shane says, bowing his head in defeat. He looks so amazing and strong, even when he is vulnerable.

  “Nope, there’s only one thing that can make me walk away right now.” I tell him.

  “What is it?’ He asks, peaking up, looking for a lifeline.

  “Ah, a girl doesn’t reveal all her secrets Shane.” I smile, trying to lighten his tense mood.

  “OK, fine. You win. Let’s go back inside.” He says, taking my hand.

  Once we’re inside, we made our way into the kitchen. I still hadn’t had my drink yet, and my throat is feeling scratchy. I made my way through the sea of people and grabbed a solo cup, and filled it up with water. Shane holds me close to him, and kisses my temple.

  “Best friends, I promise.” Shane whispers into my hair. Over his shoulder I see Harper glaring at me.

  “I promise too.” I breathe deep into his hug.

  For the rest of the party, Shane and I hung out in the kitchen, with Jason popping up from time to time to cover me in a whole array of affection, complete with blatant discern from Shane. We talked to a bunch of the kids from school; most are ones from the baseball team that Shane knows.

  “If coach saw us all drinking here, he’d be pissed bro.” One guy told Shane.

  “Yeah, he would be.” Shane laughs at him. I’m not sure that kid knows that Shane is sober as a horse, but I don’t think he really cares one way or another. Tons of people are walking around, if you can call it that, making out in front of everyone (thankfully no one saw Jason and I earlier) and I feel like I am showing more than enough skin in this maxi-dress, but some of the things these girls wear I swear.

  Over the roar of the adolescent crowd I hear a familiar sing-song voice cranked on the radio. I look over my shoulder and I see Jason cranking up the sound system and it finally clicked for me. It’s the song he played in the truck.

  It was like slow motion, we locked eyes and I see him walking straight towards me. It was like a scene from a music video, and all I could do is stare because I am so captivated.

  “Will Dailey?” I ask.

  “Yes.” Jason nods, and wraps his arms around me to dance, singing the lyrics to Rise. “I’m not in love, but I do think I have tried. It costs too much; I don’t have the money or the time.”

  “Is this supposed to have some romantic connotation embedded in this that I am not getting?” I ask in pure wonder.

  “I’m not big into love or romance but I’m willing to find out. I’ve been thinking, and seeing you so close to Shane, well, I don’t like it.” Jason says, pulling me close to him.

  “Oh. I…” I start, baffled. “I’ve never done this type of thing before, and frankly the notion of it both excites and frightens me.” I can’t even look him in the eye.

  “We can be scared together. Do you think I honestly loved Harper? Harper doesn’t love Harper.” Jason tells me, while swaying me from side to side.

  “Why would you want me? I’m not beautiful like Harper or Jenn, and I’m one messed up chick. I mean, honestly you can have any girl you want.” I felt like that was just regurgitated out of me, something I was holding back for a while.

  “I can have any girl I want huh?” Jason says, holding me at arms length, waiting for my response I think.

  “I would most certainly think so.”

  “OK. Then I want you. You said I can have any girl I want, well, I want you. And for the record Georgia, you’re ten times hotter than Harper.” He says before pulling me into him.

  I laugh so hard, I think my cheeks would burst.

  “What’s so funny?” Jason asks me, sounding genuinely puzzled.

  “You think I’m hotter than Harper Kelly.” I cackle, still trying to control my laughter.

  “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but she’s not exactly the worlds nicest person, and frankly that takes away from her attractiveness.”

  “Oh. I see.” I said, as I slinked deeper into his embrace. I felt like we were floating and just soaring across the kitchen floor. Two people who know nothing about love, afraid to see what tomorrow brings, but eager to feel the warmth of the others body. There’s no kissing, just touching and holding, and that’s everything that I need, cradled and rocked like a baby wanting to sleep. I smell his natural musk, and lemon-minty breath. I feel his lips resting against my head. His eyelashes tickle my skin, along with his hint of a five o’clock shadow while my fingers dance and find
the soft part of his neck where it meets the collar bone. Two people, two souls wanting to find out about love are tainted with their own restraints; are now dancing and thinking about breaking down walls.

  “Let’s go sit down.” Jason croons in our little zero-space.

  “OK.” I nod, and we made our way to the living room. We sat there for a good while, my head on his shoulder, his hands in my hair and that’s when I jolted up.

  “Shane!” I call out, and run after my best friend. I found him in the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you.” I apologize.

  “Sweetie it’s fine, I’m just talking to a few of the guys.” Shane assures me, and I am shocked at his cool demure.

  “Really? Come sit with me.” I plead, knowing I will get my way.

  “OK.” Shane says, and we walk hand in hand.

  Once we entered the living room I spot Harper, and she straddles Jason and all but does him right there in front of everyone. It must have been about 3 seconds that I saw but it was enough.

  “Shane, do you remember when I said there was just one thing that could make me walk away? I was wrong, there’s two.”

  I dropped his hand and walked to the front door. Once I got outside I made a mad dash for anywhere but here.

  “Georgia!” I hear my name, but I’m not sure who it is. Shane? Jason? Jenn?

  “Georgia stop!” Stop? Why would I stop? “Georgia, wait!” Wait? Wait for what? I’m done waiting. I’m just done, and I can’t handle things like this. I’m not wired right, and this is just an allover malfunction.

  I ran into the woods, deep into the brush, looking for something that I probably won’t ever know what it is even if I found it; I’d discard it as something useless when it could be the one thing that keeps me alive. What use is a dream, when even the possibilities are shattered? I can’t escape this god awful noise, and then I realized it’s me, sobbing. I found this cliff over the Neuse River and the thought occurred to me to end it all. Just jump, maybe it’ll kill you and it’ll be over.

  “Georgia stop!” I hear, and before I can turn around I am pulled into big familiar arms. “You lovely, stupid girl. You can’t do that.”

  “Shane. I was hoping it was you.” I said, feeling more of a zombie than a human. “I just want all this pain to end. Jason, and Cecil, I don’t know what I was thinking, I can’t even…” ‘think straight’ is what I wanted to say, but the sentence never finished.

  “You need to calm down and relax. Don’t worry about any of that, because none of that is worth your time.” Shane assures me.

  “No, I’m not worth anyone’s time.” I push between clenched teeth.

  “Yes you are. And besides, you still owe me. You can’t do anything until that debt is paid.”

  “Fair point well made, sir.” I sigh. “What is it that I can do for you?”

  “Go to prom with me. I want to go, and I don’t have a date.” Shane says holding me tighter.

  “Seriously? That’s your life saving approach? Prom?” I laugh.

  “I don’t care how cheesy it is, as long as it works.”

  “OK, prom. We can do prom.” I say, calming down, and burying myself deep against his skin.

  “Georgia, let’s sit.” Shane says pulling me as far away from the Neuse River as possible. “Can we talk?” He says, trying to lead me into discussion.

  “OK. We can talk Shane.”

  “I want to know the deal with Cecil. I don’t want to hear anymore second hand stories. You’re an important part of my life, and I feel like I deserve to know.”

  “I know, and you do it’s just so hard… so hard to talk about it.” I plead.

  “Georgia, please… it hurts me just as bad as not knowing, as it does for you having been through it.”

  “Well… OK.” I started. Some things you never know what to say, when you have everything to say. How do you explain something so horrible, so tragic, and so dark with someone you love? “You know he was my mother’s second husband right?”

  “Yeah, I know that.” Shane says, stroking my arm. It makes it so much easier that I don’t have to look into his face.

  “Well, after my mom died, he started sneaking into my room at night. That’s where it started. I know now that he wasn’t sober or clean. It was touching at first, but then it progressed. If I fought back, which I did at first, it became more and more violent. He hit me over the head with a lamp once.” I told him, with tons of hesitation.

  Shane gasped and his clench on me became tighter.

  “Then it got even worse. He started locking me in the basements. There are times that I know I went days without food or use of a restroom. Finally the cops came and saved me. But that’s the gist of it. I can go into graphic details but I think that’s unnecessary and vulgar.”

  “Georgia, I’m so sorry. I’ll never let that happen to you again. I promise you.”

  “It’s fine, honestly. That’s really sweet of you.” I lean my head against his neck, breathing in the deep smell of home to me. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Anything.” Shane says with the most sincerity in his voice that I have heard in a long, long time.

  “When do we develop our sense of humanity?” I ask him.

  “Hmm?” Shame responds, confused.

  “Like, Cecil. And Harper, on a less dramatic note neither of them seem to have a sense of humanity. How do we develop it and why do some people not have it at all?”

  “I see what you mean, and frankly I have no idea.” Shane says, rubbing my arm to see if I am cold. “Let’s get you home sweetie. It’s late and you’ve had a long day. “

  “OK.” I can’t afford the energy to waste to fight him on this.

  We walked back to the main road, and I see my car there and not his. “Where’s your truck?”

  “Probably back at your house. Jenn drove it home. Your car is faster on these back roads. And not blocked in.”

  “Ah, got you.”

  Shane runs up and slides across my hood to the drivers side, like Bo Duke, and opens the car door for me from inside.

  “OK. You’re driving. I won’t put up a fight.” I said, slouching down in the passenger seat. “Shane, can you do me a favor?”

  “What’s up beautiful?” Shane asks, turning the engine over.

  “Stay with me tonight?” I beg, like a little kid asking for a bedtime story.

  “I won’t have it any other way.” He says. And just like that, I fall asleep.

  Chapter 7

  The light broke in in ember colors, strewn across my face like a violent forest fire. It was hotter in my room than normal, and my body is beaded with sweat. I smell god awful and my limbs ache like crazy. My feet feel filthy and gritty, and there are leaves in my hair. I tried to sit up, and that’s when I noticed Shane sleeping in my bed. Quickly I took an inventory to make sure that my chastity was still mine. Are my clothes on? Check. Are his clothes on? Double check. OK, we are good.

  “Good morning, stink face.” Shane says, rolling over, giving me a once over, I guess to assess my mental status. Gosh, last night must have been real.

  “Morning to you too, Shane,” I say, sitting up. “I didn’t scream at night did I?” I ask, ashamed of myself.

  “No, not at all, I mean, you snored so loud I think it could have woken the devil, but that’s it.” Shane says, pinning himself up on an elbow.

  “I do not snore!” I scoff, throwing a pillow at him.

  “I’ll record you one night. It’s a miracle you can talk, let alone sing.” Shane laughs at me. “And I was quite the gentleman. I kept to myself, and made sure you were ok.”

  “Thank you.” I smile.

  There’s a knock at the door, and it opens a crack.

  “Georgia?” Jenn asks to see if I am awake.

  “Come in Jenn. I’m awake.” I said, stretching out, and sitting up in bed.

  “How are you, Georgy?” Jenn asks.

  “I’m good.” Jenn says, holding
an ice pack on her hand.

  “What did you do to your hand?” I demand, getting mad because I already know the answer.

  “Ask Harper Kelly’s left eye” Jenn says, with this coy smile pinned in the corner of her mouth.

  “Jennifer Radley Hyde!”I scoff at her.

  “She had it coming and you know it!” Jenn spits out in bits of laughter.

  “Shoot yeah she did. I’m proud of you Jenn.” Shane hollers, sitting up and instantly putting his hat back on his head.

  “Mom and Dad are in the mountains this weekend. They left this morning, and they have no idea about anything about last night and I am thinking we can all agree to keep this hush hush.”

  “Sounds good to me,” I agree, with no hesitation. “Breakfast at the Shiny Diner in Clayton?” I ask.

  “I’m in.” Jenn says, readjusting her ice pack.

  “I’m driving.” Shane says, standing up.

  “I’m not going to argue.” I put my hands up to show defeat.

  “Good. I’ll see you downstairs.” Shane says, walking by Jenn and I.

  “So I know that Shane has slept over in your bed as kids, but was it different this time?” Jenn asks, now that we are alone.

  “Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking Jenn.” I scorn her. “He’s my rock, and my guardian angel. It’s nothing like that.”

  “Mmmhmm, you’ll see.” Jenn says, looking at me with this ‘I know more than you’ look plastered on her face.

  “OK, whatever wraps this conversation up.” I said in defeat.

  “Let’s go. I’m buying.”

  “I’ll be down in a minute, I just want to rinse off in the shower. I’ll be quick.”

  I hopped right in and made it as quick as possible. I didn’t want to go out smelling like a musky gym sock, and my hair looks like night of the living dead.

  I ran from the bathroom to my room to get ready, and I ran right into Shane in... my bedroom.

  “Shane!” I scream. I can feel the crimson pooling in my cheeks from pure embarrassment.

  “Georgia, oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Shane said, turning as red in the face as I sure I am by now.

  “Get out!” I shriek.

  Shane ran out with his head down as fast as his feet could take him, and I slammed the door as hard as I could behind him.