Down and Dirty

by Liliana Hart

  A J.J. Graves Mystery

  By Liliana Hart

  And they came up on the broad plain of the earth

  and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city,

  and fire came down from heaven and devoured them.

  ~Revelations 20:9

  CHAPTER ONE

  There was something about a man standing behind a stove that made it hard to concentrate on anything else.

  “We’re getting married in three days,” Jack said.

  I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my first cup of coffee, the life starting to flow through my veins and turn on my brain. I wasn’t a morning person on my best day, so I’d need at least another pot before I’d be able to talk about the wedding.

  I was of the mind that two people in love should just get the deed done with as little fuss as possible. All you had to do was sign your name to a piece of paper and that was that. Pretty anticlimactic when, in my mind, the important part was spending the next fifty years of your life with someone you loved.

  I know what you’re thinking. That I, Doctor Jericho Jaye Graves—J.J. or Jaye to anyone who doesn’t want to get stabbed in the throat with my scalpel—am a pure romantic at heart. But that’s pretty much the farthest thing from the truth.

  It’s not that I don’t appreciate romance or know it when I see it, but I’m practical by nature and don’t often stop to smell the roses. The good thing is that Jack is almost as romantic as I am, so neither of us feel too bad about talking dead bodies over the dinner table instead of making cow eyes at each other. Though I often think about trying to be more romantic, just to show Jack that loving him really is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep at night. And in my mind, thinking is half the battle.

  “Don’t frown, Jaye. It’s bad for your skin.” Vaughn Raines had been one of my and Jack’s best friends since childhood and had taken it upon himself, along with Jack’s mother, to put a wedding of epic proportions together in less than two weeks.

  Vaughn owned an antique shop and vitamin supercenter over in King George proper. He dressed like a Wall Street banker six days a week, kept his dark hair and goatee impeccably groomed, and traded in his Mercedes for a new one after Christmas every year. Which in itself made him stick out like a sore thumb.

  Bloody Mary, Virginia was as blue collar as it got. So the fact that he was gay went mostly overlooked in a town of more than two thousand busybodies willing to pass out judgment like communion crackers.

  I’d noticed a change in Vaughn over the past couple of months, ever since his lover had been brutally murdered. He’d withdrawn and stayed mostly to himself, working longer hours to keep busy. And drinking more to deaden the pain when he wasn’t busy. Jack and I had been worried about him, which was one of the reasons I’d given in to having a big wedding in the first place. If it made Vaughn happy to make all the arrangements then I could live with standing up in front of a hundred people to say my vows, even though the thought made my stomach roll.

  Vaughn tssked and leaned over with the coffee pot to refill my cup. “One day you’re going to wake up and look in the mirror and those wrinkles on your forehead are going to be permanent. Then it’s nothing but a downward spiral of Botox and tears.”

  I shot him the finger and heard Jack snicker. “Speaking of Botox, have you guys seen Carla Cassidy lately? I’ll hardly have to do any embalming when she dies. A real money saver for the family.” My voice broke on the last word and I cleared my throat.

  I’d been choked to within an inch of my life some months back and it had done permanent damage to my vocal cords. The mornings were the worst, the words sometimes not coming out at all. But once I warmed up it wasn’t so bad. I’d mostly gotten used to sounding like the love child of Kathleen Turner and Lauren Bacall.

  “That’s just one of the reasons I love you,” Jack said. “You’re a glass half full kind of girl.”

  Vaughn put his hand over his heart and sighed dramatically. “The sweetness of your love melts my cynical heart and makes me want to throw up in my mouth all at the same time. You two should get married or something. If Jaye will show up.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake. I have the date and time scheduled in my phone. I even set an alarm just to be safe. I figure if I can remember to bury a body then I can sure as hell remember to get married. Now are you going to feed me breakfast or just torture me with the smell of bacon?”

  Vaughn shook his head. “Already the nagging wife—”

  “I didn’t realize you were going to be such a chicken about getting married,” Jack said. “I wouldn’t think it’d be a big deal to publicly show that we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. But maybe I was mistaken—” he shrugged and poured eggs into the skillet.

  I scowled. “Low blow, Sheriff. You know I want nothing more. And I do love you.”

  “She’s got stage fright,” Vaughn said. “Remember when she was Pilgrim Mary in the Thanksgiving play in third grade? Just one line. That’s all she had to say.”

  I glared at Vaughn, but it didn’t do any good. Jack’s body was shaking with laughter and he used the cup towel tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants to wipe at his eyes.

  “If you want to live you’ll stop talking,” I growled between my teeth.

  “Ooh, I’m terrified,” Vaughn grinned. He turned back to Jack. “For as long as I live I will never forget the look on Melanie Rose’s face after Jaye threw up on her. Priceless.”

  Jack winked at me and went to get the bacon out of the oven. “Jaye’s always been good at making friends. Is Melanie on the guest list for the wedding?”

  “You’re a riot, Jack Lawson. It took twenty years for Melanie to stop going the opposite direction when she saw me on the street. If I were you I’d be more worried about a repeat of Melanie Rose all over your tuxedo. There’s still time for us to fly to Vegas and let Elvis marry us.”

  “I’ll take my chances. If you start looking a little green I’ve decided to give you a quick pop in the jaw and knock you out. Reverend Thomas is mostly deaf anyway, so he’ll believe me if I tell him you said I Do before you pass out.”

  “And here I am still waiting for bacon. The abuse I take from you two is unbelievable.”

  “Woman, you’ve got your coffee and you’ve still got razor burn on your neck from this morning. Bacon is just icing on the cake.”

  I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and fought the urge to touch my neck. I decided the safest thing for me to do was finish my coffee.

  “And don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’re trying to change the subject about the wedding,” Jack said, putting eggs, bacon and hot biscuits on three plates and bringing them over to the breakfast nook.

  I blew a raspberry at him and decided not to comment. Instead I took a moment to appreciate the vision he made. I was lucky to have him in my life, and I was grateful for it every day. He’d saved me—both mentally and physically—and I knew there was no one else I’d ever be able to count on or trust like I could him. I still wondered what he saw in me—why he loved me. Though it didn’t occupy as much of my thoughts as it once had.

  Don’t get me wrong. Jack was something spectacular to look at, but it wasn’t why I loved him. His looks were just part of the package—dark hair cut close to the scalp and threaded with the occasional strand of silver. His eyes were the color of dark chocolate and went almost black when he was aroused or angry. His body was sculpted by years of physical fitness he’d had to maintain for the job. But that wasn’t the only thing that told the story of his life as a cop. The scars on his right side caused by three bullets that he’d gotten from a SWAT raid gone wrong were puckered, and a stark reminder of the life of service
he’d chosen.

  Jack was a man whose integrity and moral code would always stand up under any scrutiny. A man I could be proud of and respect. And it tore at my heart to see the pain the job had caused over the years—a job people took for granted—filled with danger and deeds that wore on the soul and the psyche.

  I’d never given much thought to what it meant to be a cop’s wife. Or anyone’s wife for that matter. Dealing with the dead on a daily basis wasn’t always conducive to a healthy relationship. Neither was having felons for parents, or a father who’d decided to come back from the dead and who might be a murderer.

  Jack seemed to think I was overanalyzing things and had decided to love me anyway. But I worried about what would happen the day Jack had to arrest my father and send him to prison where he belonged. Or worse, if Jack had to pull the trigger and take him out. I didn’t want to believe my father was capable of violence, but I’d seen the evidence in a body buried in a secret bunker that only my parents knew about.

  “Jaye,” Jack said, sitting across from me. He took my hand and squeezed it once. “You’re thinking too hard. Everything is going to be all right.”

  I nodded and tried to smile, but I’m not sure I pulled it off. I loved Jack with all my heart and soul. He was the one constant in my life, and despite my fear of the wedding, I’d walk through hell or high water to say those vows in three days. And then I’d wait for the other shoe to drop. Because I’d learned that life was a fickle bitch.

  A cell phone rang and all three of us scrambled to see whose it was. Jack reached his phone first and held it up to show he was the one ringing.

  “Sheriff Lawson.”

  I knew it was work related by the way his face lost all expression. Jack was one hell of a poker player. He turned and went over to the sink, standing with his back to us as he continued the call.

  “How was the final dress fitting?” Vaughn asked.

  I focused on cutting my biscuit in half so I could pile on the eggs and bacon to make a sandwich, ignoring Vaughn’s question as a pang of guilt hit me.

  “Seriously, Jaye? You missed your appointment?”

  The look he gave me was not a good one, and I shrugged and mouthed sorry as he got out his phone and dialed. I’d meant to go to the final fitting for the dress. At least that’s what I’d say if anyone asked. But in all honesty I’d forgotten about it, despite the numerous reminders I’d had posted everywhere.

  It hadn’t been a quiet week for death. The bad news was that five families had said goodbye to loved ones over the last several days. Not great odds considering King George County wasn’t overpopulated to begin with. The good news was that death paid the bills. And I had a lot of bills to pay, including years of student loans from med school and debts that my parents owed after all their assets had been seized—except for the house and the funeral home because they’d had the foresight to put them both in my name.

  “Three o’clock today,” Vaughn said, hanging up. “I will meet you at the funeral home to pick you up at two-thirty. Be there or I’m going to tell Clover Dawson you’ve been meaning to come by and pick up one of her ovulation potions, but you’re too embarrassed to ask.”

  “That’s just mean,” I grumbled. “I’ll go try on the dress. I just don’t want to look stupid. Everyone is going to be staring at me.”

  “You’re the bride, you dumbass. People are going to look at you.”

  “You guys know I’ll be there, right?” I asked, hoping the men in my life didn’t really think it was possible I’d be a no show for my own wedding. There was nothing that could keep me from marrying Jack. Not my fear of standing in front of all those judgmental people, or my father showing up out of the blue to walk me down the aisle in front of a room full of cops, just for shits and giggles. I wouldn’t put it past him. He was perverse like that.

  Vaughn winked at me just as I heard Jack say, “We’re on our way.”

  “Well, that’s never a good sign,” I said with a sigh. I quickly made a breakfast sandwich for Jack and wrapped it up in a napkin.

  He hung up and I could see the news on his face—that it was going to be bad.

  “Let’s roll,” he said, heading toward the stairs to our bedroom to change clothes. It must have been really bad for him not to look me directly in the eye.

  “I’ll take care of things here,” Vaughn called out behind us. “Jaye, wedding dress! Three o’clock.”

  “Stop nagging. Thank God I’m not marrying you.”

  “I’ve often felt the same way. Your vagina is a deal breaker.”

  I burst out into laughter. I could always count on Vaughn to lighten my mood. I had a feeling it would be the last time I felt that way for a while.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “I take it I’m following you to the scene?” I asked, just to break the silence. Jack hadn’t said anything or told me the situation, which was unusual in itself.

  “EMS is on scene and they’ll transport. The number of bodies hasn’t been determined yet.”

  He pulled on jeans and a white undershirt and then topped it with a long sleeved flannel shirt in shades of dark green and blue. The mornings were still cool, even though we were well into spring, but the afternoons could get pretty warm, so layering was usually the best bet. He strapped on his ankle holster and slipped his knife into his boot. And then he put on his sidearm and hooked his badge to his belt.

  Watching him get dressed every morning always fascinated me. It was efficiency in motion—muscle memory from years on the job—though Jack hardly needed the weapons he strapped on every day to be dangerous.

  I pulled on my own jeans, t-shirt, and flannel and then ran a brush through my hair. It hung just past my chin and pretty much did the same thing no matter how I styled it. I probably needed a trim, but I had a tendency to forget things like that. My hair was straight and black. It’d never be anything else.

  I never bothered with makeup unless I had to. I’d gotten in the habit of doing without it over the years. Through medical school I was always too tired to bother, and I’d found that the dead didn’t really give a shit what I looked like. I was fortunate in that I had good skin and excellent cheekbones, which I’m assuming I inherited from the biological French mother my parents stole me from. My eyes were gray—like fog—with no other blue or green color variations that came out when I wore certain colors. Just gray. And my lashes were dark and thick and naturally lined, so putting on eye makeup was overkill for the most part.

  It was also a nice bonus that Jack seemed to find me most attractive in my natural state. I was never sure if he was just saying that to be nice or if he really meant it, but I was leaning toward the idea that he was being genuine. Jack and I hadn’t been having sex for all that long, but I’d found I needed to take my vitamins on a regular basis to keep up. Vigorous was the best word I could think of to describe Jack when sex was involved.

  “I’m tight on space in my morgue. I’ve got Chloe Sanders and Bernie Harrison on ice until their interment. I was going to embalm them both today, so that will make some room, but it’ll be a few hours before I have the space available. If there are too many bodies you might want to send a couple of them outside the county.”

  “It’s a family, so it’s best to keep them together.”

  “Oh, man,” I said, feeling my stomach sink. No wonder he’d been so somber. “Kids too?”

  “At least one that first responders know of. They’re from King George so we want to keep it local.”

  I grabbed my bag and made sure my camera was inside, and then we headed down the front stairs. I heard Vaughn in the kitchen stacking dishes, but he was talking on the phone so we didn’t tell him goodbye.

  The sun hit us in the face and I slipped on my sunglasses. It was one of those cloudless days where the brightness hurt the skin and the air was so crisp and clear the lungs burned after the first inhale of fresh air.

  I used a black extended size Suburban that had been modified for my needs instead of a h
earse to haul bodies. I could fit two in a pinch, but any more than that required multiple trips, so I was glad EMS was on the scene.

  I went to the back of my Suburban and grabbed my coveralls and slip on rubber boots that came up to the knee. Neither was attractive, but I’d learned from experience to be prepared for anything. Death was often messy.

  “Are you going to fill me in on the scene or make me play twenty questions?”

  Jack put his cruiser in reverse and backed down the driveway. Then he looked down at his watch. “Fourteen minutes. I’m surprised you lasted that long.”

  “Dude, that’s not cool.” I smacked him on the shoulder and he smiled.

  “I’ve got to find my entertainment where I can get it with this job.”

  The smile vanished and his eyes grew distant. It was a look I recognized and knew to never pursue with questions. There were things that haunted Jack. Things that had happened on the job he’d never shared and that I’d never ask about. But it would take a blind man to not see the pain and burdens he carried.

  He cleared his throat and turned onto Queen Mary to head into town. St. Paul’s Episcopal church sat on the corner and Reverend Thomas was in the parking lot, directing the gardeners like a drill sergeant on where to plant the petunias. Jack beeped the horn and we both waved.

  Reverend Thomas waved back, but his lips were pursed in a disapproving line. He was a nice man and had always been kind to me, but he was also an old school Episcopalian preacher, and the fact that Jack and I were living in sin together before marriage was a point of contention. There’d been a moment I’d worried whether or not he’d perform the wedding ceremony on Saturday, but to my knowledge he was still going to show up.

  Trees were green and bursting with new leaves and canopied over the two-lane road. The houses on Queen Mary Road were older for the most part, box-style and wood framed, built during the 1940’s. The occasional American flag waved from a flag holder attached to the houses and lawns were neat and freshly mowed. Sidewalks were cracked and uneven with age and neighbors knew each other’s names.