Dance to Your Daddy mb-42

by Gladys Mitchell

  'I think he did not come to Galliard Hall for an equally cogent reason. I do not think he was invited.'

  'Oh, but Romilly said...'

  'And others said something different.'

  'You don't need to believe that man Luke. He's an awful creature. Anyway, Romilly may have been telling lies about Hubert, mayn't he? I expect he knew he'd gone to Italy, so, of course, he wouldn't have invited him.'

  'My information is that he did not invite Willoughby, either.'

  'But how can you be sure? After all, Willoughby's body wasn't all that far from the house when Romilly and Judith found it. You know, I've been wondering about that. Do you think they knew where to look?' She gave the last three words considerable and conspiratorial emphasis.

  'I think it more than likely,' said Dame Beatrice, giving her a hard look. 'That does not prove that they killed him.'

  'Well, one mustn't say so, I suppose. Do you know when he'll be brought to trial?'

  'Romilly? It may not come to that. He is remanded in custody and will make a second appearance before the magistrates in about a week's time.'

  'I don't understand these things. I thought he was in prison for killing Willoughby, and would be brought to trial. You see, it's very important to me that Romilly should be locked up for the rest of his life. It is the only thing, except his death, which would make my own life safe.'

  'Yes. Your present plan, then, is to stay with Humphrey and Binnie, if they are willing to have you, and if your grandfather's lawyers agree. Have you any plans for the more distant future, in case they do not see their way to having you as a permanent guest?'

  'I expect I shall marry Tancred.'

  'When I saw Tancred last, he seemed very well satisfied with his present domestic arrangements.'

  'You mean he's living with a girl?'

  'So it seemed to me.'

  'Has she any money?'

  'I did not think to ask.'

  'You're being sarcastic. If she hasn't any money, I shall have an advantage over her. I like Tancred. He's kind and I think he's very clever. With my money he could write as much poetry as he wanted to, and he wouldn't have to work for a living.'

  'Does he work for a living?'

  'I think he's in advertising. I think he writes rhymes for soaps and cereals and things. He told me something about it the night he slept with me at Galliard Hall.'

  'Tell me about the toy trumpet.'

  'The toy trumpet?'

  'The one which was used at the séance.'

  'Oh, that! How did you know about the séance? Did Romilly tell you?'

  'Yes, he mentioned it. It seems that it made him very angry.'

  'How could it? It was his idea, his and Judith's, and they both were present at it.'

  'And the nurse?'

  'What nurse?'

  'The nurse who suggested that the séance should be held.'

  'There wasn't any nurse. Why should there be? There was the medium, of course, and Judith and Romilly and me. That was all.'

  'I see. So Romilly and Judith suggested that the séance should be held?'

  'Judith, actually. At least, I think it was her idea. She wanted to call up my grandfather.'

  'Did this thought alarm you?'

  'It didn't alarm me, but I didn't think it right to meddle in such matters.'

  'But you attended the séance.'

  'I had no choice. They made me do it. They said it wouldn't be any good without me, so I had to go.'

  'What did Judith wish Felix Napoleon to tell her?'

  'I don't know. The séance broke up. I broke it up. I snatched the toy trumpet out of the medium's hand and dashed out of the house and flung the trumpet and the medium's tape-recorder into the sea.'

  'I thought it was a transistor radio set.'

  'Oh, no, it was a tape-recorder. As soon as I saw it, I knew there was going to be trickery.'

  'Indeed? What trickery did you suspect?'

  'That Romilly had secretly taped some talk of grandfather's about the Will, and that I was not to have the money, but it was to be divided among Romilly, Willoughby and Hubert.'

  'But a recording of such a conversation would have no significance, since Felix Napoleon had left a valid Will.'

  'They wanted to prove that I had used undue influence. They intended to upset the Will, you see.'

  'I think you must be mistaken. They would never have thought that such a means would be tolerated by the courts.'

  'That lot would do anything for money. I think, if you'll excuse me, I'll write to Humphrey and Binnie to find out whether they will have me. You did say you had their address?'

  'There is one other thing,' said Dame Beatrice. 'Who was the other young woman who lived with Felix Napoleon Lestrange?'

  (2)

  'So what was the upshot?' asked Laura.

  'Nothing emerged that I did not know or had not guessed. She denied all knowledge of Felix Napoleon's young paramour.'

  'A bit silly of her. Maiden modesty, just plain ignorance-no, it couldn't be either of those. On her own admission she went to bed with Tancred at Galliard Hall.'

  'Yes, it seems she did,' Dame Beatrice agreed.

  'I should think the best plan would be to get Hubert over here, and confront Romilly with him. Then we could at least note their reactions.'

  'Yes. My good opinion of Rosamund was not enhanced by our interview.'

  'I didn't think your opinion of her was good. Didn't you say...'

  'Yes, I did. I think I must go and see Judith.'

  'She won't tell you anything to Romilly's detriment.'

  'We shall have to find that out.'

  'You'll look out for yourself, won't you? They seem an odd lot at Galliard Hall. Do I go with you?'

  'It depends upon whether Humphrey and Binnie agree to take Rosamund unto themselves. That is the first consideration.'

  'Do you really think they will?'

  'I believe I can find means to see to it that they do, on the understanding, as with your parents, that it will be no more than a temporary arrangement.'

  'And meanwhile?'

  'Meanwhile, I find out whether Humphrey and Binnie are prepared to have Rosamund to stay with them. She herself proposes to write to them, and I have furnished her with their address. Before they receive her letter, I shall have spoken to them on the telephone.'

  'What do you suppose their reaction will be?'

  'I am in a position, as I say, to make it almost certain that it will be favourable.'

  'Bribery?'

  'Let us call it by a pleasanter name. I am about to play the part of fairy godmother.'

  'It comes to the same thing.'

  'A cynical observation, surely? There will be (in your phrase) no strings tied to the benevolence I propose to extend. I have already bespoken a partnership in a small but flourishing preparatory school. This I shall have considerable pleasure in presenting to them.'

  'In return for services rendered? I can hardly believe it of you!'

  'I am sorry that my altruistic actions should be misconstrued.'

  'Well, I suppose the guardianship of Rosamund will crop up in the course of your next conversation with Romilly. Shall you go to see him?'

  'We shall see. I am sorry for Humphrey and Binnie. I should like to do something for them.'

  There was a sound of footsteps.

  'Herself, not a picture,' said Laura, as Rosamund, in dressing-gown and slippers, entered the room.

  'Here's my letter to Humphrey. 'You may care to read it,' she said. Dame Beatrice cackled harshly, took the letter and glanced it over.

  'I see,' she said, 'that you mention you were once engaged to Willoughby. That would have been before your grandfather's death, of course. Did he know of the engagement?'

  'No. We kept it secret, but I think Romilly found out. That's why he killed Willoughby. As for Humphrey, he hates Romilly as much as I do, so, now that Willoughby'
s dead, I'm going to plot and plan. If Romilly escapes the law, he's not going to escape me!'

  'Oh, don't be such a nit!' said Laura.

  'I mean it! I mean it! Of course, you're so stupid you wouldn't understand! It's Romilly or me, I tell you! Kill or be killed! Well, I'm not going to be the one to die!'

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  DANSE CHAMPÊTRE-JOY IN THE MORNING

  'Make tigers tame and huge leviathans

  Forsake unsounded deeps and dance on sands.'

  Two Gentlemen of Verona.

  (1)

  'I suggest,' said Dame Beatrice, ignoring Rosamund's outburst, 'that you rewrite this letter, leaving out all blood-thirsty sentiments-litera scripta manet, do not forget-and address yourself not to Humphrey but to Binnie.'

  'He bullies her. He'd never let her do what she wanted to.'

  'I have good reason to believe that, in the present case, she would have the whip hand. She is kindly disposed towards you, is she not?'

  'Oh, yes. If it were left to her, I'm sure she'd have me.'

  'Then it will be left to her. Go back to your room, rewrite your letter in the morning, but, if you will take my advice, do not post it until I have spoken to Humphrey on the telephone.'

  'You'll really persuade them to take me?'

  'I can but try.'

  'You want to be rid of me, don't you? I know why you sent me up to Scotland.'

  She retired to bed.

  'So say all of us,' observed Laura. 'Nothing like bed!' At ten on the following morning Dame Beatrice put through her call to Humphrey's semi-detached house. She was connected; Binnie answered.

  'Dame Beatrice? It's sweet of you to call me. Humphrey is in school. Oh, you thought he would be? Oh, you want to speak to me! Would I what? I don't think I can be hearing you properly. I thought you said I was to own a share in a school. You did? Oh, goody! And you can make Humphrey the headmaster? I can't believe it! Of course I'll tell him about it. There's something else? Rosamund? Poor little Trilby? Wants to come and live with us? Why, of course! I'd love to have her, if Humphrey agrees. Could she bring the baby? I love babies. Oh, didn't you know there was a baby? You ask her. She told Tancred all about it when she slept with him, and Tancred told me. Yes, all right, then. I'll tell Humphrey, but I expect he'll think half the school ought to be his, not partly mine. Oh, no, of course I shan't let him. It will be the first time I've had any money of my own, and I shouldn't let him take it away.'

  'I wonder what else the little bird told Tancred that night,' said Laura, highly amused when Binnie's remarks were passed on to her. 'I say, I do hope the Provost couple will have her. It will be a weight off our necks, won't it?'

  'Until Romilly is released.'

  'You think he will be?'

  'I see no reason against it, unless Detective-Inspector Kirkby has procured evidence of which I know nothing.'

  'And you don't think that's very likely?'

  'Who can say? He is a thoroughly painstaking officer and he firmly believes that Romilly is guilty.'

  'And there's nothing in Romilly's character to make it seem unlikely, so far as we know.'

  'I am not convinced of that. If we stand by our theory that Romilly intends to kill Rosamund at some time after she is twenty-five years old-and he may be in no particular hurry to do that, since, to do it too soon, might bring much stronger suspicion to bear on him than if he were to wait awhile-then surely the last thing it would be safe for him to do would be to commit another murder in the interval.'

  'But if Willoughby had been in a position to expose him as an imposter, he was in a pretty sticky position so long as Willoughby was alive.'

  There are two other thoughts about that, you know. We have not yet proved that Willoughby would have been in a position to expose him. We may know more about that when I have introduced Hubert to him, but, on present evidence, it seems most unlikely that his nephews had ever met him.'

  'I thought you were against bringing Hubert over here.'

  'To identify his brother's body, yes, I was. But once we have the responsibility of Rosamund off our hands, I should like to confront Romilly with him to test my conclusions.'

  'Be that as it may, what's your second point?'

  'That what I took, some time ago, to be Romilly's lies appear, with regard to the most important of them, to be somewhere in sight of the truth. From Binnie's artless prattle it seems to emerge that Rosamund did have a baby.'

  'But do you think Binnie is to be relied on? I mean, she's such an absolute pinhead that she could easily get her facts mixed up.'

  'In the ordinary course of events, I would agree with you. My experience goes to show, however, that one of the things which even the stupidest of women does not get wrong is whether or not a baby has been born, and the identity of the woman who has borne it.'

  'She only got the information very much at second hand. And Tancred may have been leading Binnie up the garden. He's quite capable of it. I mean-would Rosamund have told him such a thing about herself?'

  'In vino veritas, child, and I think the same may very well apply to the bed. In lecto veritas one would say, perhaps.'

  'But then, surely, if that baby is still alive...'

  'Which Binnie seems to think likely, and which Romilly denies...'

  'It won't help Romilly if he kills Rosamund. The baby will inherit, won't it?'

  'It will be the lawyers' business to decide that, I fancy. Rosamund has only a life-interest in the estate. That being so, I should imagine that, on her death, it passes to the person named in the Will, and that is Romilly Lestrange.'

  'Who, as we know, is not Romilly Lestrange.'

  'Who isn't Romilly Lestrange?' demanded Rosamund, entering the room. 'Have you telephoned yet? Has Humphrey answered? Am I really going to live with him and Binnie? Oh, isn't it all exciting!'

  'I am happy to have you think so,' said Dame Beatrice. 'Yes, I have telephoned, but Humphrey was out of the house. However, I think you may post your letter. Binnie will be delighted to have you. Tomorrow we will go to see her. She will have heard from you by then.'

  'We hope!' muttered Laura, a confirmed critic of the post-office and its ways. 'Did anything strike you as a sort of confirmation of what you'd just been saying?' she asked, when Rosamund had gone out with her letter.

  'Quite a number of things are beginning to confirm me in my opinions,' Dame Beatrice replied, 'but, in case I misinterpret your question, pray expound.'

  'Well, it's obvious Rosamund hasn't a clue that Romilly is an imposter. That being so...'

  'Exactly. But pray continue.'

  'That being so, it seems to follow that you are right. Willoughby wouldn't have rumbled him either, so why did he have to be murdered? I mean, it seems that Willoughby couldn't have been a menace. He'd have taken this Romilly at his face value, the same as Rosamund has done.'

  'Yes, I deduced as much, some little time ago.'

  (2)

  There was no doubt about the warmth of Binnie's welcome. Even Humphrey, enjoying his mid-week half-holiday, contrived to smile at Rosamund. Binnie, in characteristic fashion, came straight to both her points.

  'Humphrey says Rosamund can stay, and what's all this about a school?'

  'My dear girl, give Dame Beatrice a chance to sit down,' protested Humphrey. 'Yes,' he went on, when she had done this, 'Binnie seems to have got hold of some extraordinary idea that you've promised us a part-share in a boarding-school.'

  'I find,' said Dame Beatrice mendaciously, 'that Binnie is distantly related to me through my last husband. She has inherited the blood of the Bradleys.'

  Binnie squeaked excitedly. Humphrey scowled at her.

  'Related to you?' he said. 'Well, I'm sure that is a great surprise to her, and-er-a pleasure, no doubt.'

  'Therefore,' Dame Beatrice continued, 'I have decided, as I have many nearer relatives who will benefit under my Will, to give Binnie something from which I hope she will deri
ve a certain amount of consolation for being left out of it. I know the owner and sleeping partner of a prosperous little preparatory school in Somerset. The headmaster is retiring at Easter. My friend would like to offer you the first refusal of the headmastership, together with a one-eighth share of the profits (which, of course, would be additional to your salary), and Binnie a three-eighths share of the profits, subject to two conditions. First, that you will take Rosamund into your care for as long as she is prepared to stay with you, and secondly that Binnie, who would also receive a salary, albeit a considerably smaller one than your own, shall act as matron, a position for which I feel she is admirably suited. While you are thinking the matter over, you may care to go down and look over the school. Could you go, perhaps, this week-end, taking Rosamund with you?'

  'You'll come as well, won't you?' said Binnie, anxiously.

  'I should like to do so. I can introduce you to the present headmaster, and so forth.'

  'And your friend will retain only a half-interest in the school?' said Humphrey. 'Well, I confess, I hardly know what to say, except that I feel somewhat overwhelmed. A headship! I can scarcely believe it!'

  'You've always wanted to be a headmaster,' said Binnie, 'and if I were a shareholder it would he nice for both of us, wouldn't it? And I'd love to be matron and look after the boys and bandage them up and see to the housekeeping and the bedding and the garden and the school fete and the refreshments on Sports Day and give the new boys' mums cups of tea and...'

  'Yes, yes, my dear. We may take all that for granted. Well, Dame Beatrice, it's very kind of you. Yes, we could manage this week-end, but, really-well, as I say, I am completely overwhelmed. What's more, it seems I owe it all to Binnie.'

  Binnie turned to him and impulsively hugged him. In a sedate manner he kissed the top of her head. She began to cry. He sat down and pulled her on to his knee. Dame Beatrice leered maternally at them.

  'I shall breakfast at half-past six and leave at a quarter-past seven on Saturday morning,' she said to Laura, when she had returned from her visit.

  'Anyway, what is all this about a school? Do you really think Humphrey will make a go of it?' Laura demanded.

  'I have hopes-more, I have expectations-that he will. Besides, I have an affection for Binnie, and I think she will have an affection for the children under her care.'