If You Were Mine

by Jennifer Sucevic

  With excitement jacking up her voice, the girl leans towards him, looking as though she might just crawl right across the counter to get at him.

  “Aren’t you JT Higgins? Ohmygod.” Her words are smushed all together, barely distinguishable. “Itotallyloveyou! You’remyabsolutefavoriteplayer!”

  Feeling bemused by the situation, I simply stand there watching the exchange as it unfolds. I’m actually surprised when he shakes his head in denial. I thought for sure that he would eat this kind of thing right up. He’s an attention whore, right?

  “Sorry, darling, not me.” He gives her a little wink to soften the blow of his words. “But I get that all the time.”

  Her eyes narrow as if she’s trying to decide whether he’s telling the truth or not. Sounding disappointed, she finally asks, “You’re really not him?”

  JT looks apologetic. Sort of. “Nope. Not him.”

  “Oh.” She deflates before our very eyes. Dismissing us, she turns to the next customer in line.

  JT slips an arm around my waist before steering me to the side, away from the long line of customers. Some of whom heard the exchange at the counter and are now eyeing him with piqued interest. He pulls the brim of his hat a bit lower as if that will make a difference. Because he’s well over six feet tall, I’m still able to see his eyes as they continue piercing mine. The feel of his gaze never fails to make me nervous and ridiculously aware of him.

  It’s disconcerting.

  Pulse racing, I finally ask, “What are you doing here?” I haven’t seen him since Saturday night, and quite frankly, I would rather not think about that humiliating conversation ever again. Or the kiss we shared. Although, truth be told, I haven’t been able to get either one out of my head. I was really hoping to avoid him until my embarrassment faded.

  He shrugs his wide shoulders before saying offhandedly, “I was in the area.”

  I raise a brow at that. “Really?” Skepticism is riddled throughout my voice. This coffee shop is about midway between my apartment and campus. I stop here practically every day before heading to school. Not once have I ever run into JT. It’s nowhere near his house or the stadium where he practices.

  In response, he smiles, revealing straight white teeth. Something unwanted pings at the bottom of my belly. I tamp it down right away. “Sure.”

  When our lattes come up, JT grabs them before nodding his head towards a small table buried in the back corner.

  “Do you have a few minutes?”

  Feeling indecisive, I glance quickly at my cell phone. Class starts in about forty-five minutes. So… yeah, unfortunately I do. “Yeah… but I can’t stay long.” After what happened between us Saturday night, I can only imagine what he wants to discuss.

  As we both settle in, him across from me, his long legs brush against mine. Every time he touches me, a little zing of energy sizzles through my body, leaving me to feel strangely fidgety. Not sure what to do with myself, I pick up my coffee, blowing on it before taking a small sip. It’s scalding hot. Just the way I like it. As I take another swallow, everything slowly begins to loosen within me.

  Just like always, those light green eyes of his are solely focused on me. As if I’m all he sees. And just like always, even though I don’t want to, I feel very much aware of him. I can’t help but shift uneasily in my seat. Nor can I stop the memory of his mouth sliding its way over mine from careening unwantedly through my head. Unconsciously my gaze falls to those full, generous lips of his.

  How did I never realize just how sexy they were?

  I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed quite so… thoroughly before. Say what you want about him, but the man definitely knows what he’s doing in that department. Although, I suppose he’s had lots of practice. Unlike me.

  No more than a few seconds could have possibly slipped past when a low growling noise rumbles up from deep within JT’s chest. My eyes snap back to his in question. Straining forward, he closes the distance between us.

  “You keep eyeing me up like that and I’m going to throw you right over my shoulder, and anything I have to say at this point will be completely moot. Do you understand?”

  Even though it’s on the tip of my tongue to deny what he’s saying, I don’t.

  Because I know exactly the way I was looking at him.

  Dropping my gaze to the coffee cup in front of me, I clear my throat, feeling even more uncomfortable than before. Whatever he has to say to me, I just want to get it over with. The less time I spend with JT, the better off I’ll be. There’s all this weird ramped-up attraction flowing between us right now, and I don’t like it. I don’t understand it, and I really don’t want to feel it. I have a boyfriend. Not to mention that I don’t even like JT. But apparently my body doesn’t care about things like that.

  Ignoring his words, I ask instead, “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Eyes on me.”

  Jerking in my seat, my gaze slices instantly to his in question. “Excuse me?”

  I feel the low tones of his voice reverberate at the very bottom of my belly, strumming something deep inside. Something that leaves everything within me clamoring. Even though I don’t want to, I can’t help but acknowledge that no man has ever affected me the way he does. It’s maddening. I don’t want it. And yet he’s the only one capable of doing so.

  “I want your eyes on me when we’re talking.”

  I feel just a hint of color bloom in my cheeks as my eyes once again settle on his.

  “Better.” He practically grunts out the word.

  Shifting uneasily, I repeat myself, “What did you want to talk about, JT?”

  I used to avoid him because I thought he was an asshole, now I’m wondering if I spent so much time eluding him because of the attraction that has always been simmering right under the surface between us. It feels thick and heavy. Undeniable.

  And quite honestly, it scares the freaking hell out of me.

  Ignoring my question, he asks one of his own instead. “Have you slept with him yet?”

  Oh my god… seriously?

  My mouth tumbles open before I quickly snap it shut again. It’s through clenched teeth that I hiss, “Please tell me you didn’t come all the way down here so we could discuss that again.” It’s almost a relief when my temper ignites, dousing all the attraction that has been smoldering uncomfortably in the air between us. I find myself leaning forward, straining to close the distance between us. “You need to get it through your thick skull that whether or not I’m sleeping with my boyfriend is none of your damn business.”

  He sweeps his tongue slowly across his teeth as he sits there contemplating me. “I’m making it my business, and that’s exactly what I’m here to talk about.”

  Grrrrr!

  His sheer audacity makes me want to scream.

  You know what?

  I’m not doing this with him. Just as I shoot to my feet, his hand snakes out and wraps around mine, halting any other movement. My icy cold eyes snap to his before I growl, “Let go of me. We’re done.”

  Even though I’m on the verge of storming out of the coffee shop, his green gaze pins me in place.

  “Just hear me out.” His voice dips, the deep timbre of it reverberating throughout my entire body. And for reasons I can’t possibly fathom, I find myself unable to move a single muscle. Almost as if I’m paralyzed. I hate this strange hold he seems to have over me. “Please?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this with you. I’ve already told you that it’s none of your business.” As I grind out the words, I find myself slowly sinking back down on to my chair. Even though there’s a voice inside my head that is screaming for me to run, to get as far away from him as I can, I don’t budge.

  “Your boyfriend- you don’t belong with him. He’s all wrong for you.”

  I really wish he would just knock all this crap off. Nothing JT says is going to change my feelings for Ryan. Feeling exasperated, I shake my head. “How can you say that? You don’t even know
him.”

  He spears me with a hard-edged look. “I know enough. I also know that you don’t have much experience when it comes to men.”

  My brows soar across my forehead at this pronouncement. “Excuse me?” For just a moment it makes me wonder if there’s a flashing neon sign across my forehead that reads virgin. I honestly don’t think I could feel any more mortified than I do right now. I just want to sink through the floor and disappear.

  Ignoring my embarrassment, JT simply shrugs his broad shoulders. That smoldering green-eyed gaze of his continues holding mine captive. The fact that I feel so completely mesmerized by him is infuriating. “Am I wrong?”

  I press my lips tightly together, torn between flat out lying and simply agreeing with his statement. I suddenly become aware of the fact that his fingers are covering mine when he gives them a little squeeze. My eyes drop to our joined hands as something unwanted ripples through me again.

  He whispers, “Just tell me if I’m wrong.”

  The soft, imploring way he asks the question has the fight going right out of me. Sighing, my shoulders fall as I quietly admit, “You’re not wrong.”

  Why is he doing this to me?

  Why is it so important for him to know if I’m a virgin or not?

  This whole conversation leaves me wanting to cringe. I’m starting to suspect that JT Higgins simply enjoys humiliating me.

  Leaning closer, he says quietly, his words meant for my ears only, “You should be with someone who is willing to make you his first priority. Who is going to make sure that your first time is special.” He cocks his head to the side. “Do you really think Ryan is that guy?”

  “I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t feel that way.”

  Even as I force out the words with conviction, deep down, I’m none too sure. Everything JT threw at me Saturday night has continued to roll around like marbles in the back of my mind. Even though I haven’t wanted to, I’ve spent more than a fair amount of time comparing the kiss JT and I shared to the ones I’ve experienced with Ryan.

  Unfortunately, there is no comparison.

  If I’d hoped those words would dissuade him from delving headlong into this conversation or maybe even shake the confidence I feel radiating off him, it doesn’t. Not even a little. My words have his lips pulling up into a slow smile that continues to simmer around the edges as if he doesn’t believe me. A slash of white cutting through the sun-kissed color of his face. I wish to god that I didn’t find him so attractive.

  “Come on, Claire, we both know you’re lying. That guy is a complete tool bucket.”

  I roll my eyes at his choice of insult. “He is not a… tool bucket.”

  He raises a brow. “Yeah, he is. If you were my sister, I wouldn’t allow you to date him.”

  I poker up in my seat. The idea of someone trying to tell me who I can and cannot date rankles me to no end. I fully welcome the anger and irritation bubbling up within. It’s so much better than feeling all this attraction that keeps pounding its way through my body. “I’m not your sister,” I fire back quickly.

  “No, you are definitely not my sister. What I feel for you isn’t sisterly in the least.”

  Even as the words shoot out of my mouth, I have a feeling that I already know what the answer is going to be.

  “What is it that you want, JT?”

  Chapter Eleven

  JT

  Reaching across the table, I slip my fingers under her chin until those gray depths are focused solely on me. Until I have her complete, unwavering attention. I’ve been going round and round in my head about this. And no matter how much I tell myself to let it go, to move on and forget about her, I just can’t.

  Trust me, I’ve tried.

  “Let me be the one,” I say softly.

  That statement is met with a deafening silence. One that blankets us until she’s finally able to choke out a response.

  “What?”

  It would be almost comical if I weren’t dead serious about it. Unable to help myself, I lean just a bit closer. Well, as close as the table between us will allow. “I want to be the one, Claire. Let me be your first. I’ll make it good for you. You know I will.”

  By the stunned look in her wide eyes, I’m guessing that I’ve taken her completely by surprise. For almost one full minute, she simply stares at me in shock and bewilderment. Finally, as if waking from a trance, she frantically starts shaking her head. But my fingers remain firmly under her chin, holding her in place. Not allowing her to distance herself physically from me. I like touching her. I like being this close. Normally she doesn’t allow me in her space. Now that I’m here, I want more of it.

  “No.” The word is nothing short of a croak.

  “Why not? It’s obvious that we have chemistry.” There’s so much energy sparking between us. And the more I’m with her, the more of a draw I feel towards her. There’s no way in hell that she’s oblivious to it.

  Unsure just how to respond, she licks her lips. Is it terrible to admit that I’m all but mesmerized by that small pink tongue darting out to moisten those lips that are in the perfect shape of a cupid’s bow? Damn, but there’s just so much I want to do to her. So many different ways I want to spread her out and explore that gorgeous, lithe body of hers. That thought alone leaves my cock stirring with anticipation. I actually have to shift in my chair to release the growing pressure in my jeans.

  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a woman the way I want Claire Garrison. We’re talking three years worth of pent-up longing.

  Even though she sounds annoyed, there’s something else buried deep within her trembling voice as she hisses, “That’s not a reason to sleep with someone.”

  “Actually, it’s an excellent reason to sleep with someone. In fact,” I continue, warming to the notion, “it’s one of the best damn reasons I’ve ever heard.”

  “I have a boyfriend,” she reminds me.

  But it’s weak.

  And we both know it.

  Ryan isn’t anything special, and he certainly doesn’t treat her the way he should. I honestly have no idea why she’s even with the guy. “Cut him loose, Claire. He’s not worth your time. He really isn’t.”

  “I’m not going to break up with someone I’ve been seeing so I can sleep with you instead.”

  I probably shouldn’t enjoy riling her up half as much as I do. There’s just something about the way her gray eyes flash and her fair skin flushes with heat and embarrassment. The way her pulse riots beneath the fragile flesh of her throat.

  “He doesn’t deserve you. At all. He’s way more concerned with the people you’re connected to. Trust me, you don’t need someone like that taking up space in your life.”

  Pulling away from me, she says, “And you just want to sleep with me because I’m a virgin.” Her words are low and shaky. Heated.

  “That’s not true.” I shake my head for added emphasis. “I’ve always wanted you. From the very first moment I saw you, Claire, I wanted you. I think you know that.”

  “There’s a difference between wanting to be with someone and simply wanting to sleep with them. You just want to sleep with me.” Anger continues to swirl and roil through her voice. “You’re no better than what you’re accusing Ryan of. You just want to use me.”

  That being said, she jerks out of her seat for the second time. “I’m not interested in sleeping with you, JT. I’m not interested in doing anything with you.”

  Because I know she’s seconds away from flying out the door, I say, “Give me your phone.”

  She laughs as if I’m completely crazy. Which at this point, maybe I am.

  “You’re the last person I would ever want having my number.”

  Feeling desperate, I turn to the girl studying alone at the table next to us. “Can I borrow a piece of paper and a pencil?”

  Looking annoyed by the interruption, she glances up from the computer screen she’s been focused on. The irritated look melts away the moment her eyes lock on mine. />
  “Sure.”

  Ripping out a piece of notebook paper, she hands it over along with a pen. My eyes jerk back to Claire, thankful that she hasn’t stormed away just yet. She’s gathering up her purse and steaming cup of coffee from the table. I don’t want to push her any further. At least not right now. Quickly I scribble down my number before thrusting it at her.

  Raising a brow, she snorts. “No, thank you.”

  When it becomes clear that she isn’t going to take the piece of paper willingly, I fold it up before shoving it into the front pocket of her jeans. She grits her teeth as her eyes flatten. I think if she could hiss at me, she probably would.

  Straightening her shoulders, she growls, “I don’t want to see you again, JT. Don’t contact me. Don’t talk to me. And stop coming to dinner on Thursday nights. I won’t tell Liam about this because, for some strange reason, he seems to like you. But if you continue bothering me, I’ll have no choice in the matter.”

  I have admit, this isn’t exactly how I imagined our conversation unfolding. After Saturday night and the way she responded to my kiss, I thought maybe she would be more open to what I was suggesting. Apparently, that’s not the case. The woman can barely tolerate me. But still… it feels as if something has shifted between us.

  Maybe if I actually thought the dude she was dating was into her for the right reasons, I might step aside-

  Nah.

  I realize that I wouldn’t be backing off even at that point.

  I want Claire Garrison.

  I have since the first moment I laid eyes on her.

  Unwilling to just let her walk away, I stand up, ready to follow her outside onto the street. Her eyes narrow, piercing mine with anger, right before she says in an overly loud voice that cuts through the buzzing noise in the small coffee shop, “JT Higgins is right here, folks, and he wants to sign autographs and snap a few pics!”