Want You

by Stacy Finz

  He glanced up from what he was doing and gave her a long perusal, then shut off the hose. It took him time to wind it up and hang it on the hook. Without a word, he went inside the house. She assumed he meant for her to follow. They both removed their boots just inside the door. He didn’t bother to wait for her to finish, climbing the stairs to the main floor.

  She found him in the kitchen with his head in the refrigerator. “Didn’t you have breakfast?” It was an inane question, but under the circumstances she needed a neutral topic.

  “No. I was planning to take you to the Four Seasons for brunch.” And then he’d walked in on her and Win’s fall and had assumed the worst. Deb didn’t know how to straighten this out.

  “I was helping Win carry the canoe to the back of the building and we tripped over each other, TJ. That’s all it was. When you walked in we were laughing about it, nothing more.”

  “Did he tell you about Britney?” He grabbed a carton of juice and poured a glass. “He’s free now. You two can go back to whatever you were before.”

  “Now you’re being an asshole. You know damned well there hasn’t been a Win and me for ages.”

  Just looking at him standing there, still bundled up in his ski jacket, even though it was seventy degrees inside, he was so handsome, so good, so beyond anything she could describe. Compared to her feelings for TJ, Win had been a schoolgirl’s crush, and her heart folded in half because she was about to lose him.

  He pulled out a stool for her at the bar, sat in the one next to it, and let out a long sigh.

  “Win and I grew up together,” she said. “We’re always going to have a special bond. But I love you . . . I’m in love with you . . . not Win.”

  The declaration seemed to startle him and he jerked back.

  “I love you, TJ,” she said it again, so he’d get it through that thick, analytical skull of his. It wasn’t Win she wanted; she wanted him. “You’ve made me happier than I ever knew I could be. When you walk into a room, my whole body feels like liquid fire. Don’t you get it, TJ? It’s you, only you.”

  He took some time to digest her words. She could see his mind working, the trepidation in his eyes. “I’ve got to talk to Win.”

  “He knows. He overheard you and Colt talking.”

  “Ah, Jesus.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, then abruptly got to his feet. “I’ve gotta talk to him.”

  “What about us?”

  “I don’t know, Deb. I just don’t know.” He palmed his keys and was out of there like a shot.

  So much for telling him she loved him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  TJ yanked Win’s earbuds out. He didn’t know how his brother could concentrate with the music blaring in his head like that.

  “Oh, hey.” Win turned off his iPod and the electric sander. He had their old canoe up on a pair of sawhorses and was doing something to the bottom.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you knew?”

  Win flipped his goggles to the top of his head. “I was a little busy watching my life blow up. And by the way, we weren’t making out. We fell while Deb was helping me with this.” He pointed to the canoe.

  “You could’ve said something, Win.”

  “You could’ve not gone behind my back. If you were interested in her, you should’ve said so.”

  Win was right. The guilt was eating TJ alive. “I should’ve. But you’re an asshole, Win. How many years did you take her for granted? How many years did you lead her on with your hot-and-cold act?”

  “How many years have you been secretly wanting her? Huh, TJ?” Win waved his arms in the air. “A long time, wasn’t it? After hearing you with Colt, I started to put things together. The way you always came around when you knew she’d be at Old Glory, your doughnut runs to the Morning Glory, even back in high school. There you were, opening her locker, helping her make the varsity ski team, giving her rides before she could drive.”

  It was all true, and there was nothing TJ could say in his own defense, except that he loved her. He always had. But he loved his brother, too.

  “I’ll back off,” he said. “You can have her as your number one fan again. I know how you like that.”

  “You’re a dick, TJ.” Win shoved him against the wall. “She wants you, not me.”

  “She’ll get over me now that you’re back in the picture.” He shoved Win back. “You can resume your on-and-off-again bullshit.”

  Win raised his fist and TJ blocked it. “Grow the fuck up, Win.”

  “You grow up. She loves you. She told me she loves you.” That took the wind out of TJ’s sails. How many people had he hurt?

  “She loved you first.” He gave his brother a small push and started to go.

  “Don’t walk away. Don’t you fucking walk away,” Win yelled, but TJ kept going. He wanted out of this building, where the walls were closing in on him. “I should’ve known you’d give up without a fight. You’re weak and you’re a quitter. Colt told me about White Crush. That’s what this is really about. You can pretend that Deb and I did you wrong, but we all know that it gives you the perfect excuse to walk away from the competition.”

  TJ whipped around and got in Win’s face. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me. You’re so damn afraid of losing that you’re willing to walk away . . . from Deb, from the retail division you started, even from a stupid contest. You think I’m a quitter, but I at least made the team. You sabotaged yourself. I know it, Colt knows it, Josh knows it, Mom and Dad know it, and you know it.”

  How had they gone from Deb to the U.S. Olympic ski team? He let out a rusty laugh. “You’re the quitter, Win. You were that close”—TJ made an inch with his fingers—“to competing for the gold and you walked away. So don’t tell me that I’m weak.”

  “You’re a wuss is what you are, always afraid I’ll beat you. Here’s a news flash for you, TJ: you’re the easiest son of a bitch I’ve ever competed against because you don’t even try. You don’t even try, TJ.”

  “Screw you, Win.” TJ slugged him in the face. Hard. “What would you know about anything when everything is handed to you? The best woman in town . . . in the whole goddamn freaking world . . . loves you and you throw her away.”

  Win sat on the floor, holding his face. “Who’s throwing her away now, TJ?”

  He didn’t need this crap, he didn’t need Win, and he sure as hell didn’t need to be at Garner Adventure on a Sunday. On his way out, he grabbed his skis and drove to Royal Slope, where he spent the rest of the afternoon beating the crap out of the snow.

  When he got home, his answering machine was lit up like a Christmas tree.

  The first message was from Colt. “I think you might’ve broken Win’s nose. He was too damn pretty anyway. Call me.”

  Josh. “Damn, that’s a mean right hook you got. Call me.”

  The last one was from Win. “You nearly ruined my modeling career. Lucky for you, my nose isn’t broken. Call me.”

  Nothing from Deb, which served him right. She’d told him she loved him and he’d said nothing. Not a damn thing. It was all for the best. A couple weeks from now, he’d have to do the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. He’d have to pull the plug on GA’s failing retail undertaking and put Deb out on the street.

  * * *

  “No word from TJ yet?” Deb didn’t know why she kept asking. All week he’d been a no-show at work. He hadn’t called or even emailed her, just leaving her to twist in the wind.

  “He’s still camping.” Darcy glanced up from her computer monitor and frowned. “How many orders did we get today?”

  “Three.” It was better than the day before, but not enough to keep the lights on. “I don’t know what to do about White Crush. I’m assuming we need to scratch him.”

  “Can Win do it in TJ’s stead?”

  “Not sure.” The entrance form had been for TJ. Deb didn’t know if Ted would let her change contestants at the last minute, especially when she’d had to beg to
get TJ the coveted invitation to begin with. “I’ll ask.”

  Lord knew they needed a miracle to reboot the store. If sales continued to lag, she didn’t know what they would do. The money they’d invested in T-shirts, sweatshirts, and hats alone . . . well, Deb didn’t want to think about it.

  “At least the weather’s been perfect,” Darcy said. It had been snowing nonstop. In the past, organizers had had to cancel the competition when the weather hadn’t cooperated.

  “Where’s TJ camping?” Deb couldn’t help asking. It was crazy cold for sleeping in a tent.

  “Somewhere near the ocean is all I know.” Darcy’s eyes dropped to her desk, clearly uncomfortable that she knew where TJ was and Deb didn’t. It was obvious the whole office was aware that she and TJ had been seeing each other before he’d gone off the grid.

  And, once again, the Garner family had a front-row seat to Deb’s humiliation.

  “Hey.” Josh came in and shook the snow off. “Anyone hear from TJ?”

  “He’s out of cell range,” Darcy said. “He only calls when he goes into town; Gualala, I think he called it.”

  Josh took off his hat and gloves and shoved them in his parka pockets. “Next time he does, tell him to get his ass home. I can’t do his job and mine.”

  Josh was nothing but bluster. Everyone was just worried about TJ. It wasn’t like him to take off like this without notice. It wasn’t like TJ to do anything unpredictable. And Deb only had herself to blame.

  “I’m going to lunch,” she told Darcy and Josh, needing fresh air. These last few days, she’d been in the office for eight- to nine-hour stretches, trying to do everything humanly possible to turn things around. She’d taken over GA’s rarely used Twitter account, directed the company’s Facebook fans to the online store, and posted tons of merchandise pictures on Pinterest and Instagram.

  Hannah, Delaney, and Foster were already at Old Glory, holding a table. Someone had ordered pub fries, but Deb couldn’t work up an appetite. Boden waved from the bar and she waved back.

  “I gather from the long face you still haven’t heard from him.” Foster pulled out the chair next to him for Deb.

  “Nope. He’s camping somewhere in Mendocino County.”

  “The guys go there a lot,” Hannah said and passed her hand over Deb’s. “This isn’t like TJ.”

  Deb shrugged. “I’m over him.” The expressions around the table screamed, Liar, liar, pants on fire. “He should’ve at least had the decency to break up with me before he ran away from home.”

  She supposed he sort of had at his house Sunday, but she’d been in denial.

  “Colt says he’s sorting his life out.” Delaney grabbed a fry and popped it in her mouth. “I think things may have been building for a while.”

  Hannah nodded in agreement. “Just give him time.”

  “Like I gave Win?” She was never doing that again. “I’m putting all my energy into my job now.”

  Unfortunately, there was a good chance she was going to lose it. At least working at GA had showed her what she was capable of. Even if she got canned, she’d find something else. In her short time at GA, she’d discovered that she liked marketing and maybe even had a knack for it. There was also school. Nothing seemed impossible anymore. And although he’d broken her heart in a million pieces, she had TJ to thank for that.

  “How’s the store doing?” Foster asked.

  “Not so good. Colorado Adventure’s head start really put a crimp in our sales.”

  “I’ve been seeing your tweets.” Delaney tried for a reassuring smile. “You’re doing a great job. You could always come work for me . . . be my social media person.”

  It was so sweet of Delaney to make the offer, but Deb wouldn’t mix business with friendship again. This time she’d do it on her own. “Thanks, Delaney. I haven’t given up on GA yet. White Crush could go a long way to putting us on the map. I’m planning to talk to the organizer about substituting Win for TJ.”

  “There’s an idea, though Colt says TJ’s a better skier.”

  What difference did it make if TJ was a no-show?

  “How’s Win doing?” Hannah asked.

  “I think he’s okay. I really haven’t talked to him much.” She’d been too twisted up over TJ.

  The server came and took everyone’s orders. Deb used the opportunity to check her phone. Nothing from TJ and nothing from the office. She slipped the cell back into her bag and rejoined the conversation.

  When she got back to GA, Win was on his way out.

  “Want to come?” He motioned to the snowboard he had under his arm. “Josh wants me to try it out.”

  “It’s his prototype?” That had been fast. She reached out and ran her hand down the sleek board. “Nice.”

  “But how does she handle? That’s the question.”

  “You heading to the Slope?”

  “I thought I’d test it at the terrain park at Winter Bowl,” he said. “Come with me. You can try it, too.”

  “Not this time. I’ve got too much to do.” She started to ask if he’d heard anything from TJ but stopped herself. “Hey, would you be willing to take TJ’s spot at White Crush?”

  “You haven’t heard from him, huh?” He reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

  “No.” She dropped her head so he wouldn’t see her eyes fill up. “It would be good to have an alternate, you know, in case he doesn’t show up.”

  He didn’t say anything at first; then, “All right. Put me down.” But he seemed hesitant.

  “Delaney and her crew are working on ski pants and a top with a big GA logo. Could you swing by Colt and Delaney so she can get your measurements?”

  “Okay,” he said, but again, she got the sense that he wasn’t too enthusiastic about it. Deb couldn’t tell whether it was the bother of getting his measurements taken or if he didn’t want to compete. The latter would surprise her. Win may not have liked the strict regimen of training, but he was a showboater and loved the attention of a crowd.

  She let out a puff of air. “It isn’t like TJ to leave us in the lurch like this.”

  “You probably should’ve asked him first.” Win rubbed his chin. “Since his FIS Alpine World Cup flub, he doesn’t compete anymore.”

  “Colt told me. TJ always played down not qualifying. I had no idea it was this big of a deal. If I had, I never would’ve entered him.”

  “You were just trying to help.” He gave her another squeeze and looked up at the sky. “Count me in, but I’m burning daylight.”

  “Have fun.” She watched him jog off, clutching the new snowboard.

  In her office, she checked the website again for sales. An order had come in while she was at lunch for one of Delaney’s bouldering shirts, and she chalked the sale up to revamping the online store. Why not take credit? She’d had Jillian incorporate short videos of their guides demonstrating the functionality of the clothes. According to the handful of reviews they’d gotten, the videos seemed to be working. Just not fast enough.

  Delaney had found someone willing to do a prototype of a tent jacket. If everyone liked it, Deb was thinking of doing a GoFundMe campaign to raise capital to put the jackets into production. That way GA wouldn’t have to foot the cost. Naturally, that was if she was still with the company then.

  She worked a few hours, took a break, and used it as an excuse to pass by TJ’s office. He wasn’t there, of course. But perhaps if she walked past the room enough, he’d magically appear. A man could only live so long out in the wilderness. Though, for all she knew, TJ was shacking up at a five-star hotel with room service and cable.

  By her third or fourth pass that afternoon, it was becoming abundantly clear she was more than a little OCD.

  “The guy needed a vacation. I don’t think he’s had one in six years,” Josh said as he brushed by her in the hall. “He’ll be back . . . eventually.”

  Hopefully to compete in White Crush on Saturday. That was only four days away. “Yep,” she said and went back
to her office.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Deb ducked under the rope and found Colt and Josh. “It’s good to know people, huh?”

  They got to stand in the section cordoned off for friends and family of the contestants, getting the best view of the competition right next to the judges, who watched live feeds of each skier on a big screen.

  There’d been no word from TJ. He apparently didn’t care whether the online store lived or died. Or about her, for that matter. To not even call or email . . . whatever. She was so over him.

  Right; that’s why I cry myself to sleep every night.

  By now Win was probably waiting his turn at the helipad. He was last on the roster, which meant they’d be here a good long time. And if the event went overtime, GA could get bumped. Ted had already worked miracles by getting them an invite.

  Colt shielded his eyes and searched the crowd. “Delaney and Hannah should be here any second.”

  “Where’s your mom and dad?”

  “They’re sitting in the lounge, watching it on TV. They’ll join us closer to when Win’s up.”

  It was clear and sunny but colder than usual for late February. Deb couldn’t blame them for wanting to stay near a heater.

  Josh surveyed the scene with a pair of binoculars. “They’re getting ready to start.”

  “How do you think Win will do?” she asked.

  Josh let the field glasses dangle around his neck. “Not as good as TJ would’ve done, but our little brother’s got some moves. This is the big leagues, though. Most of these guys are ten years younger and full-time competitors.”

  “Even if we don’t place, it’s good exposure.” Colt squeezed her shoulder. “You did good, Little Debbie; the best you could’ve under the circumstances.”

  She knew that was Colt’s way of saying, no hard feelings when we let you go. It was purely business. She got that and had no unrealistic expectations. It just would’ve been nice if TJ had given it his all. Even if he couldn’t bring himself to compete, he should’ve been here to cheer GA on and promote the brand.