Just a Kiss

by Denise Hunter

  The joy of the evening seemed to drain right out of her, leaving her limp and depressed. The poignant strains of the melody tugged at her emotions.

  Riley was independent now. He’d surely be moving out soon, and his time at the shelter was almost up too. It would be good for him to manage on his own, to find something productive to do. She should be happy for him.

  But those same things would take him farther away from her.

  And maybe that was for the best. Maybe these stupid feelings would go away if they weren’t together 24/7. The thought brought a strange mixture of hope and sadness.

  Who was she kidding? She turned into his chest and breathed in his familiar spicy, clean scent. She’d gotten used to having him around. She wanted to keep him like a sweet stray puppy. Wanted to love him and take care of him.

  Her hand slid down until her palm lay over his heart. How had her feelings changed so quickly? And how on earth would she keep him from guessing? She wasn’t exactly known for her poker face.

  And she knew Riley. If he found out, he’d do whatever he had to do to make it easier on her. He’d withdraw from her, put distance between them. He’d skip family outings so she could go without feeling uncomfortable.

  And she couldn’t allow that. He needed his family now more than ever. Was she going to have to give up not just Riley, but the only family she had? It seemed too much to bear all of a sudden.

  Her breath felt stuffed into her lungs, and she couldn’t seem to empty them properly. Her eyes burned, and she blinked trying to get herself under control. But all those emotions were roiling inside. She was going to burst with them. She needed to get out of here before she lost it.

  She pulled away from Riley, trying for a smile as she averted her eyes. “I-I’m going to get some air. It’s too hot in here.”

  “Paige . . . ? What’s wrong?”

  She pretended not to hear as she made a beeline for the back door. She kept her eyes down, praying no one would stop her. She was a hot mess, and one look in her eyes would give that away.

  When she reached the door she opened it, stepping out onto the deck. There were twinkle lights even out here, but thankfully she had the space to herself.

  She walked to the balustrade that overlooked the broad inlet and slipped into the shadows, her hands finding the wooden railing. The air was laden with salt. The water kissed the grassy shoreline in rhythmic ripples. It was a sound that had always soothed her before, but it wasn’t working tonight.

  She drew in a deep breath of cool air, letting it invade her body before she blew it out in one shaky exhale.

  So this was what a broken heart felt like. She’d thought that’s what she had when Beau broke up with her. She knew better now. This was so much worse.

  Get a grip, Paige. This isn’t a tragedy. Nobody died.

  But it did hurt. It hurt badly. Like when her dad died. Like when Darleen moved away the second her dad died. She actually ached in the center of her chest as if her heart really had broken in two. She placed her palm there as if she could hold it together somehow. Why didn’t anyone want her?

  The music grew louder as the door behind her opened. She hoped whoever it was wouldn’t see her over here in the shadows. Or maybe it was just a couple looking for a nice quiet place to—

  “Paige?”

  She blinked away the tears that had gathered even as her heart kicked into gear. She had to get it together. And quick.

  She turned and tried for a smile, hoping the shadows would hide the anguish that had rolled in like a heavy fog. She squeezed the handrail until the wood cut into her palms. “Feels much better out here. All those warm bodies in there . . .”

  Her voice faded away as she ran out of steam. Her eyes found the moon, hanging over the cove like a glowing ball. Maybe Riley would see she was fine and go back inside.

  But his footsteps were getting louder, his gait sounding a little uneven on the wooden planks. All the standing during the ceremony and dancing had probably tested his stamina. And now she’d dragged him outside to check on her.

  He stopped beside her, a hairbreadth away, his hand close to hers on the railing. A breeze wafted across the deck, teasing her with his spicy scent.

  “You okay?” His voice, so deep and delicious, scraped over her, raising chill bumps.

  She shivered.

  “You’re cold.”

  “No.” She winced, realizing she’d just given away a perfectly good excuse for her reaction. “The breeze feels good after all that dancing.”

  They stood in silence, listening to the night sounds, so familiar. Her family had kept their boat just down this inlet, around the corner. She and Riley had spent so many hours out there talking, swimming, rowing.

  “I never know what to say to you at times like this,” he said.

  “Times like what?”

  “When that sad look comes into your eyes. When I see you looking around at everyone else, at other families, and your chin gets that little dent.”

  “Oh.”

  “I know you got royally gypped in the family department. But you’ll always have us Callahans. Always have me. You know that, right?”

  Her eyes burned. She swallowed hard against the growing lump. She’d always have him. But not in the way she wanted.

  “Do you ever hear from Darleen?”

  Paige gave a short laugh. “No.”

  It shouldn’t hurt. The woman had never been her real mom, not in any way that counted. But she was the only mom Paige had ever known. And she had just walked away that summer. Moved back to Augusta where her sister lived.

  “Your dad loved you. I know he didn’t stand up for you sometimes, but he did love you. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have brought you into his family, put up with all Darleen’s animosity.”

  “I know that.” She’d settled all this a long time ago. She was at peace with her upbringing. But that hollow space inside remained, despite the Callahans’ efforts to include her.

  That wasn’t her biggest problem, however. Not right now, with Riley inches away and a sultry breeze blowing in off the harbor. She drew in a breath, the snug bodice of her dress hampering her lungs’ expansion.

  Her eyes flickered over the dress. So much for capturing his attention tonight. So much for making him see her with different eyes. So much for the curls and the makeup and the sexy kitten heels.

  He’d never see her as anything more than his poor little orphaned friend. Her eyes filled with tears until the darkened seascape went blurry. She swallowed against the lump in her throat, trying to get control.

  “Hey . . .” He took her chin in his hand and turned her toward him. Their eyes caught and melded. The pity there only made her feel worse.

  “Don’t cry, honey.”

  He pulled her to him and, weak as she was at the moment, she went right into his arms. The endearment warmed her from the inside out. So much better than him calling her by her last name. Why couldn’t things be different? Why couldn’t he want her the way she wanted him?

  She clutched at his back and buried her face into his chest. He felt so good, so strong. For the hundredth time she whispered a prayer of thanksgiving that he’d come back alive. She’d come so close to losing him over there. Maybe he’d never be hers, but he was still alive. Still here. His heart beating against her cheek. And that was enough. It would have to be.

  He set his chin on top of her head. His sigh stirred her hair, making every follicle tingle. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a tool lately.”

  “You haven’t been.”

  He gave a wry laugh. “Liar.”

  “Okay, maybe you have been. But I understand. You’ve had a lot to deal with.”

  “And I’ve been taking it all out on you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Not just you, though. I’m a nondiscriminating kind of guy. I take it out on all my close friends and family.”

  She gave a little laugh. Only Riley could make her laugh at a time like this. It only
made her love him more.

  He rubbed her bare arm and another shiver passed through her. The roughness of his jaw tugged at her hair as he laid his cheek against her head.

  “I hate it when you cry,” he said softly.

  “I hardly ever do.” Despite her best efforts, her voice wobbled.

  “That’s why I hate it so much. If you are crying, I know you must really be hurting.”

  She felt a prick of guilt. He didn’t need to be worrying about her. He had enough stuff of his own to deal with. Worse stuff. She was so selfish.

  “I’m fine. It’s just the wedding. Weak moment.” She blinked back the tears and pulled away, but his arms didn’t loosen enough to go far.

  Her chin wobbled despite her efforts, and she bit her lip to still it.

  His thumb swept across her cheek, leaving a trail of heat. Their gazes caught and held. Something flickered in the depths of his eyes, making her heart do a slow roll.

  She couldn’t have looked away if she tried. And why would she want to when he was finally looking at her in a way she’d only dreamed of?

  Or was she imagining things?

  His thumb had stopped its slow, delicious movement, making her aware of how close he stood. Of his body’s warmth. Of their breaths mingling between them, a tantalizing taste that only left her wanting more.

  He leaned closer. Or maybe she did. Their breaths became one, and then their lips touched. Soft and reverent. Heart-stopping.

  It should be weird, some part of her brain argued. He was her best friend. But it wasn’t. His kiss was everything she dreamed it would be. Supple yet strong. Commanding yet gentle. Familiar yet new.

  Her heart, as if making up for lost time, raced in her chest. She slid a hand up his arm, delighting in the feel of soft flesh over solid muscle.

  His fingers slid to the delicate skin of her neck, making a shiver of delight pass through her. He cupped her face, his touch making her insides melt even as his lips did things that made her knees threaten to buckle.

  Riley. This was Riley, and he was kissing her. Surely it had to mean—

  “Paige? It’s time for—”

  They sprang apart.

  “Whoopsie.” Lucy stood on the threshold, her eyes darting between them. “Uh, sorry . . . they’re, um, cutting the cake. I’m going now.”

  “We’ll be right there.” Riley didn’t sound the least bit shaken.

  It seemed impossible, given her own condition. The way her heart pummeled her ribs, the way her breath quivered in her throat.

  She dared a look at him as Lucy disappeared, but he was already heading for the door, his eyes averted. “We should get back to the party.”

  Chapter 24

  Riley accelerated through the green light. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly they were starting to hurt. He shifted his leg. It was so fatigued, his stub aching. He probably shouldn’t have insisted on driving tonight.

  Paige sat in the passenger seat, practically glued to the door. A terrible awkwardness had climbed into the car with them and seemed intent on thickening with each moment that passed.

  After they’d come in off the deck, it had been easy enough to get lost in the crowd. He somehow made conversation with friends and neighbors as the evening wore on. Until, at last, Beau and Eden made their exit in a flurry of flying birdseed and confetti. They were off to Key West for a week.

  And he was stuck here dealing with a real mess. A mess he’d made all by himself. He had no one else to blame. Paige had been upset and emotional, and he’d taken advantage of her, just like that night when she’d been drinking. Tonight he’d taken one look at those vulnerable blue eyes and he was a goner.

  He clenched his jaw. Idiot. He had to fix this somehow. But he had no idea how.

  His mind went back to the kiss. To the feel of her lips on his. The taste of her. Everything had been good in his world for those few seconds. So right. He allowed himself to relive every brush of her lips. Every touch of her hands. Every whisper of her breath. He wanted to cement each detail into his mind. They’d have to keep him for the rest of his life.

  Because as right as it had felt, he’d only caught Paige at a weak moment. He didn’t dare entertain the idea that she actually wanted the kiss. It would be purely wishful thinking. She deserved so much better than he had to offer. Surely she knew that.

  He remembered the sight of her dancing with Dylan. Her joy as he spun her around and around. That memory was seared in his mind also. It was the one he should hold the closest. Dylan made her happy. Riley only made her sad.

  “So . . . ,” Paige said, finally breaking the heavy silence. “Are we just going to pretend that didn’t happen?”

  Her voice sounded small in the confines of the car. He felt a pinch of guilt. He’d confused her, but good. And no wonder.

  He squeezed the steering wheel. “Look, Paige . . . that shouldn’t have happened. I don’t know what . . .” He sighed. “It was just the wedding. Weak moment.”

  Her words from earlier came tumbling out of his mouth. They seemed to fit. It was as good an excuse as any. Besides, there was no need to make a mountain out of a molehill.

  “Let’s not make a big deal of it. It was just a kiss.” It about killed him to say it. To make light of the best thing that had happened to him in forever.

  “Just a kiss.”

  He couldn’t tell much from her tone of voice. And he sure wasn’t going to look at her.

  “So I think you’re right,” he said. “We should just pretend it never happened.”

  The long silence clawed at him until it was all he could do to keep from looking at her. He forced his eyes to stay on the spot where his headlights converged on the road ahead.

  “Sure,” she said, a hint of something—relief?—in her voice.

  A few minutes later he turned into Paige’s drive and shut off the car. By the time he made it to the front door, she was already upstairs. He loosened his tie as he limped into his bedroom and shut the door.

  He had to get out of town. He would call Noah this week and set a date to move down to Georgia. He had to get out of here before he wrecked things even worse than he already had.

  Lucy tugged on Paige’s arm, pulling her from Miss Trudy’s newly renovated kitchen and into the hallway. The savory smells of pot roast and baker’s yeast lingered in the air, and the oven dinged as the dinner rolls reached completion.

  Miss Trudy was busy in the kitchen, and Zac and Riley were outside, hovering around Riley’s motorcycle, which they’d pulled from the barn. He was planning to ride it home. Aunt Trudy had hated the thought of him riding it even before he’d lost his leg.

  “I have to get the food on the table,” Paige said when they reached the end of the hallway.

  “I can’t believe you haven’t called me,” Lucy whispered.

  “Um, I just saw you last night.”

  “Exactly. Or more importantly, I saw you . . .” She raised her finely arched brows. “And Riley . . . So, now that we’ve got a minute, go ahead. Tell me everything.” She crossed her arms, waiting expectantly.

  Paige lifted her shoulders. “There’s nothing to tell, really.”

  Lucy gave her a look. “Uh, I beg to differ. His lips were all over yours, sweetie pie.”

  The memory of Riley’s kiss hit her like a rogue wave, and a random shiver passed through her. She tried for an air of nonchalance. “It didn’t mean anything. He said it was ‘just a kiss.’ That it was the wedding, the romance and everything. You know how that can work on the mind.”

  “Just a kiss. The wedding.”

  Okay, maybe it was more than that. Remembering the moments leading up to the kiss, she winced. “He wants to forget it ever happened.”

  Lucy’s face fell.

  “I think he just felt sorry for me. And . . . I think I might’ve actually kissed him. So it was, you know, all me.”

  “Um, I’m not sure what kiss you’re talking about, but the one I walked in on looked pretty da
rn mutual.”

  “I was upset right beforehand. I was crying. He only kissed me back because . . . It was probably his way of . . . of comforting me or something.”

  Lucy laughed. “Comforting you.”

  “Seriously. I was feeling lonely last night. I was upset about my feelings for Riley, but he thought I was sad about having no family, and I let him believe it because I sure couldn’t tell him the truth. And then I went and kissed him. What was he supposed to do? Push me away? You know Riley. He’s got a tough front, but he’s a softie inside. He’d never reject me like that.”

  Lucy arched a brow. “So it was a pity kiss.”

  “It wasn’t even that, because I initiated it. It was a pity response.” She closed her eyes as if she could block out the thought. “And it was so awkward afterward. Terrible.”

  Lucy touched her arm. “That was my fault. I barged in on you.”

  “I don’t mean then. I mean afterward. At the reception and all the way home. By the time I got home I just wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. Actually, that’s what I did.”

  She pressed her fingers into her eye sockets. This morning had been just as bad. There’d been enough space between them in the pew to seat a family of five. And he’d hardly said two words to her. She didn’t hear a thing Pastor Daniels said during the sermon.

  “I don’t know . . . ,” Lucy said. “I caught him staring at you after church today when you were talking to Sheriff Colton.”

  “Of course he was. He was trying to figure out what planet I’m from.”

  “You’re perfectly human, Paige.”

  “Well, no more kissing for me. And no more fussy hair or fancy dresses either, so just keep your womanly wiles to yourself.” She started to walk away.

  Lucy caught her arm. “But you didn’t say . . . the actual kiss . . . How was it?”

  Paige couldn’t help the warm feelings that rushed over her at the thought of the moment their lips had met. Any more than she could help the forlorn smile that followed. Maybe it hadn’t meant anything to him. But one kiss was all it had taken for her.