Chapter 20
Silas
Waking up next to Lilly these past couple weeks has been my new favorite way to start my mornings. It sucks that I have to leave before Ezra wakes up. I feel like I’m a teenager sneaking out of my girlfriend’s house, trying not to get caught by her parents. I understand Lilly’s concern though. This is still fresh and we’re still trying to figure out the kinks and don’t want to confuse Ezra in the process.
Work is going as smooth as it can. I have been using more of my built up vacation days so I can spend more time with Lilly and Ezra. Declan was nice enough to offer up his beach house to us so we use it for weekend getaways. I’ve gotten past wanting to punch him in the face, and to my surprise, he turned out to be a real good guy. We introduced Ezra to his cousins and my sister. They’ve taken to him and Lilly like they have always been part of our family. I noticed a change in my father as well since bringing Ezra around. He seems fuller of life and I know it’s thanks to my son. Like me, he resembles my mother a lot. He has a way of bringing the room to life whenever he is around.
“Hey man, do you want to grab something for lunch before we have to testify today? Or do you have plans with Lilly?” Lucas can never make it through court without his stomach growling.
“Yeah, that sounds good. Lilly is at a signing for the weekend. She left this morning, so Megan is watching Ezra till I get off later.” I grab my coat to head out.
We drive to the diner that Lilly and I first went to when I reconnected with her. Ever since she’s taken me here I find myself coming back more often. I’ll never tell Lilly, but their gravy fries are bangin. Lucas is always willing to accompany me since Kim doesn’t like diner food. How one cannot like diner food is beyond me. Once we arrive, we grab a booth and place our order.
“I don’t know how you eat those disco fries and manage to stay in shape. You should be at least twenty pounds heavier by now,” Lucas places his phone on the table.
“If I had your mentality, I would be twenty pounds heavier; however, after I eat these fries I go to the gym and work it off. Someone needs to be able to keep up with the criminals that run, since we know it’s not you,” I taunt him and his major dislike for running.
“Yeah yeah, just remember who has the better shot.”
“How can I forget, remember that time you shot your wife in the ass with the bb gun? If memory serves me right, the target was the bullseye on the tree. But you were aiming for her ass, right? At least that’s what you told her,” I can’t contain my laugher remembering the look on Kim’s face when she got hit.
“Hey, we were grilling out and drinking. No one’s aim is perfect when they have beer in them,” I laugh even harder at his need to defend his shooting skills.
“Mine is, I hit that target six times, beer and all.” Lucas tosses his spoon at me and I keep laughing.
“So, since you have Ezra this weekend, do you want to bring him over to play with the kids? They have been asking where Uncle Silas and Ezra are.”
“Sounds good. Just let me know which day and we will be there.”
“Do you think Megan would come? I know Lilly isn’t here but Ava has been begging to see Megan.”
“I’ll ask her, she will probably bring Declan with her. Those two are inseparable.”
“The more the merrier” As he takes a sip of his drink, our food comes out.
We take our time eating and bullshit for a little bit afterwards. Court can be long and tedious, so we normally don’t show up until the very last minute. Slipping on my suit jacket, I leave some cash on the table for our bill and we head out. I’m about to get into the car when I hear an all too familiar voice call out my name. I turn around and see Kristin crossing the street, making her way toward me. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since she walked out of my life. I’m not sure how one would handle this but I can only assume it will be fucking awkward. I tell Lucas one minute and he gets in the car, opening the window so he can eavesdrop on the conversation that’s about to take place. She is now standing in front of me and gives Lucas a wave and brings her attention to me.
“Hey, Silas,” she’s reaching in for a hug and I don’t want to be rude so I hug her back, quickly stepping out of it.
“Hey, how have you been?” Stupid question considering I broke her heart.
“I’m okay. I was going to call you.” She’s fidgeting with her hair and looking everywhere else but at me. She had to know our run-in would be awkward, I don’t get why she looks so uneasy. If she wasn’t comfortable with talking to me, then why would she call out to me? It makes no sense.
“It’s okay. Our situation wasn’t ideal and I just wanted to respect your decision and give you space.” She shifts uncomfortably and I can tell she’s nervous. I don’t want her to feel nervous around me but, I need to get to court and don’t have time to do all this right now. “Listen, I don’t want to be rude, but Lucas and I have to be in court any minute.” I go to pull the car keys out of my pocket so she knows I’m in a rush, forgetting that Lucas already has them. Instead, I hold my wrist up and glance at my watch before looking back at her.
“Of course you guys are. You two, I swear, some things will never change.” She lets out a nervous laugh.
“Well, it was great seeing you.” I’m trying to dismiss her in a nice way. I just hope she takes the hint.
“Right, you too.” She’s turning to walk away, so I start to get to my side of the car only to see her stop and turn around. She calls out my name again and begins walking quickly back to me. “I need to talk to you; it’s important. I know you need to get to court, but do you think we can meet later?”
Looking at my watch, I see I’m almost due in court. I don’t have the time right now and I would prefer to talk to Lilly about this before agreeing to meet up with my ex. I made the mistake of going behind Kristin’s back, and I definitely don’t want to repeat that with Lilly.
“I’m sorry, Kristin, but I just don’t have the time right now. Plus, I would like to talk to Lilly about it before I agree to meet up with you later. The last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable. Can I call you in a couple days?”
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out. If it wasn’t for Lucas spitting out the water that was in his mouth when she said that, I would have thought I was imagining things.
“I’m sorry, come again?” I’m in total disbelief.
“I’m pregnant, Silas, and it’s yours.”
Motherfucker! This cannot be happening. Kristin can’t be pregnant. I just got everything sorted out and back to normal. Everything is going perfectly with Lilly and Ezra. When I told Lilly I wanted forever with her I meant it, I still do. But this, this is something I would have never seen coming. Lilly is going to be crushed and I don’t even know how to go about telling her. I do know one thing, I’m due in court and don’t have time for this shit right now.
“I have to run, I’ll call you.” I avoid making eye contact with Kristin and I get in the car and take off for court, leaving her on the sidewalk.
Chapter 21
Lilly
I’m finally pulling into my driveway after being away for Friday and Saturday. The signing was great, and I had a pretty big turnout. I couldn’t help but be a little distracted at times wondering what Silas and Ezra were up to. I texted him a couple times but each response was short, and I could tell he wasn’t in the mood to talk.
Megan kept me updated on how Silas was doing with Ezra. I didn’t think he would have too many issues, but you never know. Being a parent can be a hard job at times, especially when you have to say no. I see Silas isn’t here yet, so I take advantage of the extra free time I have and go inside to take a shower and unpack.
About forty-five minutes later, I hear two car doors closing, indicating that Silas and Ezra are back. Excited to see my little man, I open the door and walk down the driveway to greet them.
“Hey, Mommy.” Ezra runs up and hugs my legs. Reaching down, I hug him back, kissing him o
n top of his head. Looking up, I see Silas is standing back with his hands in his pockets. He has a distant look in his eyes and I wonder if something happened with them while I was gone.
“Hey, kiddo, did you have fun with your daddy?” I ask as we walk back into the house.
“Daddy took me to the Lego museum and look, he bought me more Legos!” Excitement pours out of him as he pulls all the new ones out of his backpack.
Smiling at how happy he looks, I turn my attention to Silas and step toward him for a kiss. He pulls me in placing both hands on my cheeks and grins at me. As his lips touch mine, I taste the familiar minty taste on his tongue. There is something about this kiss that is different. It is softer and slower, not so much filled with hunger. Once the kiss is over, his lips continue to linger on mine. I’m not sure what that is all about, but it almost seems like he is afraid he will never get the chance to kiss me again. His reaction to me is making me worried. I eye him questionably, not wanting to raise any suspicion around Ezra if something is wrong, and he looks away at our son.
“Hey, buddy, why don’t you go out back and play for a little. Your mom and I will be right out.”
Silas goes to sit on the couch without looking back. I pause to make sure Erza closes the door behind him before heading to take a seat. I have spent enough time with Silas these past couple weeks to tell when something is off. Seeing him with his arms resting on his bouncing knees as his hands pull on the ends of his hair I know there is a problem. My stomach sinks as a million scenarios fly through my head. Shit, he’s in over his head; he doesn’t want to do this anymore with Erza and me. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a seat next to him.
“Mind telling me what is going on?”
“Is it that obvious?” He removes his hands from his hair looking to me and stills his legs.
“Well, as much as I love kissing you, and I’m not complaining, but that kiss hello wasn’t like the ones I usually get. It seemed kind of off.” There goes that damn leg again, bouncing up and down so I place my hand, stilling it. A small smile touches my face as I remember him doing this same gesture to me in his car when I was a nervous wreck.
“Look, Lilly, I don’t even know where to start. I don’t even know what to say to even lessen the blow of what I’m about to tell you.” He’s looking at me and I don’t like the look I see in his eyes. It’s a mixture of fear and guilt, leaving me to wonder what could have happened this weekend while I was gone. Hearing him say those words doesn’t help ease my worries either. My mind is all over the place right now, running through any possible scenario that could have happened while I was gone. Silas is still staring at me and not talking. I’m not sure what he is expecting me to say, so I swallow the huge lump in my throat and say the best thing I can think of.
“Hey, whatever it is, everything will be okay,” wrapping my hands in his I soften my voice, “whatever you need to tell me, just say it. I’m sure we can work through anything, as long as we do it together.”
“Together, right.” Silas scratches his eyebrow and continues, “I ran into Kristin this weekend.” As soon as those words leave his mouth, my mind is immediately in a place where I don’t want it to be. I told him we could get through anything, but cheating? I don’t know if I can forgive that. My stomach starts to unsettle as he continues, “Look, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out. Kristin’s pregnant, and it’s mine.” Suddenly feeling like all the air has been sucked out of me, my hand falls from his as I turn away and face the opposite direction on the couch. Out of all the things he could have told me, that is not what I was expecting to hear at all. Silas’s hand touches my shoulder and I let it stay there.
“Lilly?” The uncertainty and fear in his voice does not go unnoticed as he waits for me to respond, but I’m still trying to soak all this in.
“I need a minute,” standing with my hands clutching my stomach I run to the bathroom, praying I make it in time. Sinking to my knees, I start to vomit until there is nothing left to get out. Standing up slowly, I grab a cold wet wash cloth and rub it on my face and lean against the wall. There is a light knock at the door, and as much as I want to crawl into a hole and hide, I know I can’t ignore this. I unlock and open the door and Silas steps in, pinning me against the wall, completely taking me by surprise.
“Just hear me out, please.” I nod and he continues, “You know Lucas and I had court on Friday. Well, we were leaving the diner and I heard someone yelling my name. I turned around and saw Kristin.” The mention of her name makes my stomach turn, causing me to place my hand over it, “I didn’t want to be rude, so I said hello. She wanted to get together and talk, but I wanted to run it past you first. I didn’t want to meet her behind your back and make you doubt me. Since I was running late, I told her I didn’t really have time and I would call her. She just blurted out right there on the street that she is pregnant. I didn’t know what to say or do.” He brushes my hair behind my ear away from my face, rubbing his thumb across my cheek. I find comfort in his touch as he goes on. “All that was running though my head was you and Ezra. Then I did something I am not too proud of, I told her I had to run and left her standing there on the street.” My mouths gapes open as he tells me he left her standing there. That is completely out of character for him. I quickly close my mouth, not wanting to make him feel worse than he already does. “It wasn’t my proudest moment, but I panicked. All I could think of was ‘Is this going to make me lose Lilly?’ I love you and I love Ezra, but I can’t stand back and let this baby grow up without a father. I’ve missed Ezra’s first two years and I don’t want that to happen again.”
His words sting a little as he tells me what I already know. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that he missed watching his son take his first step or find his first tooth. It was just shitty timing and shitty circumstances. I know what I have to do and at the same time, I know all my fears are going to resurface when it comes to Silas and Ezra.
“You need to call her.” His head tilts to the side in confusion. “She didn’t do anything wrong. None of us did. You loved her at one point, and hell you still might be in love with her. I know firsthand, that doesn’t go away over night. But you can’t dismiss her. You have to talk to her eventually and she’s going to need your support. Take it from someone who’s done this alone; it can be scary at times. I told you we could get through anything together and we will get through this.” I see relief wash over his face and he leans in, kissing me with such passion, I melt into his body. The door swings open, causing us to break apart.
“Ew, Daddy, Mommy, that’s gross!” Ezra makes a gagging face with his tongue hanging out before running out of the bathroom causing both of us to laugh.
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
“I do, but you can continue to tell me whenever you want,” I joke.
He takes my hand and we walk out back to play with our son. I’m trying to enjoy my time with everyone but the uneasiness I feel in my stomach won’t go away. I know I told Silas we can get through this together, but I have to protect Ezra. I have to trust the fears that occupy a place in my head and never forget about them. When you get too comfortable, that’s usually when things go wrong. I also don’t know Kristin. Silas seems to trust her, but I will feel a lot better about the situation if I see a blood test confirming she is pregnant and when her due date is. You never know with some people. If they lose something they love, they will do anything to get it back. I just hope this isn’t one of those instances.
After we spend some time out in the sun, we head inside to cook dinner. I explain my concerns to Silas when it comes to Kristin and he agrees with wanting a blood test to confirm it. He doesn’t think she would ever do something like that, but understands that I’m just looking out for him. After we eat dinner, we clean up and put Ezra to bed. Silas has asked me to be there with him when he calls Kristin and I agreed. Silas puts the phone on speaker and we sit and wait while it rings. As the phone rings, I feel so un
comfortable. He asked me to be here with him, but I feel like I’m eavesdropping.
“Hello?” Kristin answers nervously.
“Hey, Kristin, it’s Silas.”
“I know, I’m surprised you called.” Silas looks at me and I give him a reassuring nod.
“I know, look I’m sorry. Leaving you there like that was a shitty thing for me to do.”
“I could have handled the situation better. I could have told you differently but you were brushing me off and I honestly didn’t think I would have another chance.”
“I panicked. My life has been upside down lately and finding out I have a son and then hearing I’m about to have another child--”
“Silas, believe me I get it. I knew you would panic. I’m not expecting anything from you. I just thought you have a right to know that you’re going to be a father, again.”
“Did you see a doctor yet?”
“No, I go on Wednesday.”
“I would like to go with you if that’s alright,” he tells her and my heart aches at those words. I wish he were there with me for my first doctor’s appointment.
“I would love that. Do you mind if I ask if Lilly knows?” He looks at me waiting to see what I think. I mouth it’s okay and he answers her.
“Yes, I told her. I know this has got to be hard on you, but you know who she is and what she means to me. I expect her to be by my side for the rest of my life, and although you may think it’s weird, she’s happy for you.”
“I appreciate that. So, I guess I’ll see you Wednesday? I’ll text you the time and place.”
“See you then,” Silas ends the call, tossing the phone on the table. He sighs as he rubs his hands through his hair. I’m sure he’s freaking out, so I place my hand on his knee. He looks over to me and a small smile touches his lips as he reaches over pulling me into his lap. We sit for a couple minutes in silence as he runs his hands through my hair. I don’t speak, giving him some time to collect his thoughts. After a while I can see his body loosen up as he becomes more relaxed.
Twist of Fate Page 12