Subhuman Resources: The Third Kelly Chan Novel

by Gary Jonas

  “Retainer fee?”

  “Yeah. It paid for dinner.”

  I lowered the throwing star. “I thought Victor paid for dinner.”

  “The vampire? That cheapskate?” The ghoul chuckled. “About all he’s good for is dramatic entrances and inappropriate flirting.”

  That made me smile. I put the throwing star away. The ghoul’s shoulders came down from where they nearly covered his ears as he relaxed a little. He tried again.

  “Can we talk now? Please?”

  “I’ll give you three minutes.”

  “Great. Wonderful. Also, can I stand back up without fear of losing my head?”

  “As long as you keep away from any shadows.”

  “Even the one right under my feet? That’s some trick.”

  “Two minutes.”

  “Right, got it.” The ghoul stood up. “As you’ve surmised, I’m a ghoul. You can call me Jiggs.” He bowed from the waist. “I’ve retained your services on behalf of certain members of the ghoul community, myself included.”

  “You haven’t retained anything. You may have paid for my meal, but I didn’t make any agreements with ghouls.”

  “Oh, but you did. You accepted the offer face-to-face, and so it is binding by our laws.”

  I paused. “The server? She’s one of you?”

  “Yes, and quite the looker, isn’t she?” Jiggs’ eyes went a little dreamy as I tried to remember the woman’s nondescript face. Average features, fair hair and skin, brown eyes. I would have never given her a second thought. I wondered if Victor knew what she was the whole time. Probably.

  “Was she sent to spy on me, too? What do you know about Jessica Spalding’s disappearance?” I glanced at the wall clock behind Jiggs. “You have one minute.”

  “No spying just hopeful scouting I don’t know a Jessica Spalding, but we’ve got members of our community who are disappearing too, and that’s why we need your help; please take on the case and don’t kill me!” He said all this in one breath, then smiled big.

  I sighed. “No promises that I’ll take on anything, but we might be able to help each other out. Come into my office, Mr. Jiggs.”

  “Just Jiggs, Ms. Chan. Does this mean you aren’t going to kill me?”

  “I haven’t decided.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Let me start by saying that if your people have anything to do with the disappearance or death of Jessica Spalding, I swear I will hunt down every last one of you and decorate the Tech Center with your heads, is that clear?”

  Jiggs tapped a finger on the fish bowl. He looked at me and tilted his head. “Why the Tech Center?”

  “Because I was raised there and I hate the place.”

  “Yeah, me too.” He went back to teasing the fish. I noticed his finger cast no reflection on the glass surface of the bowl, just like a vampire.

  “I hate to distract you from my fish with talk of death and dismemberment, but I believe you were going to fill me in on the details of my retainment.”

  Jiggs stopped tapping the glass. “Right. About a year ago, certain of our Kin started going missing. Snatched right out of their beds in some cases.” Jiggs scratched at the no-kill button on his chin. “But not in every case. We want you to get our people back for us.”

  “You’re holding back information. Why?”

  “Trust is a two-way street, Kelly Chan. We’re a secretive folk, have to be to survive. Some of this is sensitive information.”

  I nodded. “Are all the victims female?”

  “No.”

  That took me by surprise and I tried to hide it along with my disappointment. I was hoping to tie Jessica and even the other girls who had gone missing over the same time period with the disappearance of the ghouls. “Can you tell me what the victims have in common, besides being ghouls?”

  Jiggs hesitated. “No.”

  “Because you don’t know, or because you can’t say?”

  “I can’t say right now. But if you take on the case and show us we can trust you, then I’ll be able to tell you a whole lot more.”

  “So all I have to go on is that some of your people were taken from their beds and others were taken a different way that you won’t tell me about. I don’t know anything about them except that there are both male and female missing and that it’s been going on for about a year.”

  “Correctamundo.”

  “And you want me to find them.”

  Jiggs hesitated again, choosing his words carefully. “We want you to bring them home. Safely.”

  “Can you at least tell me why you think they’re being taken?”

  Jiggs smiled. His teeth looked normal, beautifully capped, actually. So ghouls could retract their fangs, too. I knew next to nothing about ghouls, but I was getting a fine education. “I can tell you that. We think they’re being taken because of the bloom.”

  “Bloom?”

  “It’s what we call it when our numbers rise. It’s the equivalent to your baby boom, only we use a pretty word to describe the influx of infants, while you people sound destructive.” Jiggs went back to tapping on the fish bowl.

  “Will you please leave Jessica’s fish alone?”

  “Jessica’s fish? I thought it was yours.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “You said it was your fish a minute ago.”

  He was right. I did. “Hmm.”

  The office door was closed and, while Jiggs’ cologne was expensive, it was getting to me as much as he was. I got up to open the door.

  Jiggs swiveled his chair. “What are you doing?” As I turned the doorknob, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. He was strong, but no match for me. I let go of the knob, gripped his thumb and bent it backwards. He let go of my wrist with a howl.

  I gripped his chin and turned his face up to mine. “Don’t you ever touch me without my permission.” I let go with a push.

  “I’m trying to keep us safe.” Jiggs rubbed his thumb. “It’s bad enough I gotta monitor and block all the shadows in here, you want me to do the whole place? Jeez!”

  “So you do know who’s taking the ghouls and you’re blocking them?”

  “No, that’s not it. Sit back down over there so we have this nice, big solid desk between us, and I’ll keep talking, okay?”

  I did as he asked. As far as I knew, vampires and Watchers couldn’t block others from coming through shadows. Ghouls were proving to be interesting. I sat and glared at him, waiting.

  “As I was saying before you went all kung fu on me—”

  “That was aikido, my version of it.”

  “Same diff. Before you hurt me, I was talking about the bloom. Blooms happen after we get a chance to do the Good Work on a big kill. A massacre. You remember any massacres, past couple of years? You should.”

  How could I forget? “Mile High Stadium.” I’d been recruited for a huge fight that took place in the stadium. When it was over, I’d been drenched in blood, and not a drop of it mine. Good times!

  “You think any old clean-up crew took care of that mess? After the living and undead took off, we poured in through the shadows and feasted until every drop of blood and grain of gristle was savored and swallowed. The babies started coming not long after that. Doing the Good Work on such a massive scale always boosts our fertility. Not to mention we got paid well for our services. We owe you big time.”

  “What does the bloom have to do with the disappearances?”

  Jiggs looked serious and maybe a little sad. “It’s simple. We bloomed, and now they’re culling us.”

  “Who’s ‘they’?”

  “Take your pick. Witches, wizards, vampires, gods. They all hate us as much as they depend on us. When our numbers go up, they get a little jumpy. We have a pretty good idea who did the initial culling this time. At least some of us do.” Jiggs rubbed his nodule.

  I leaned back in my chair. “But if someone is culling you, then don’t you think your people are dead? Why do you think I could re
scue them?”

  “It’s a long shot, I’ll admit. But we have to take it.”

  “And you think whoever’s taking your people is spying on us from the shadows?”

  “No, not them. Other ghouls.”

  “Like the ghoul from the Dumpster?” That one had seemed more preoccupied with his dinner than with anything I was doing.

  “Him? No. He’s just a thieving bastard, but if he’d heard us, there might have been trouble.” Jiggs sighed. “My Kin are tight with each other. Gotta be to survive. Present a united front, takes a village, a bundle of twigs is harder to break than a single one, all that shit. Except when it comes to the outcasts. Every family’s gotta have their black sheep to make themselves feel superior, right?”

  Boy, was that the truth. And I had a pretty good idea about what made a ghoul an outcast. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Yeah, sure, go ahead, but I already know it’s about this.” Jiggs lifted his chin and tapped his no-kill button.

  “I’ve seen Amanda install a no-kill button before, but never on a ghoul. Why do you need it? You only eat the dead.”

  “You make it sound so distasteful. One day, I’ll explain the Good Work to you, but I’m running short on time. I have a no-kill button because I have the taste.”

  “Sure, I’ll admit you’re a snappy dresser and your cologne’s nice if a bit liberally applied, but why would they blow your head off for that?”

  “It has nothing to do with fashion, though yes, mine is impeccable if I do say so myself.” Jiggs ran his hands down his lapels and straightened his tie. “It has to do with diet.”

  “You stick to eating supermodels?” I was tired of the runaround.

  “No, Ms. Chan. Given the choice and the freedom, I would rather eat the living. But having an appetite suppressant that can disintegrate your head is a real deterrent to those sorts of cravings. Ghouls like me, well, we’re the outcasts, the black sheep of the family. We’re watched and tracked, in case we get out of line. And we’re missed when we’re gone too long.”

  “I get the hint. So that night back at Tally’s. Why were you so insistent on getting a complete dead girl?”

  Jiggs sat up straighter in his chair. His skin actually reddened, but he looked angry rather than embarrassed. “I’m not going to answer that.”

  “Fine, I don’t care that much, probably don’t really want to know.”

  Jiggs relaxed. “Tell me about Jessica. Any identifying marks, so I can ask around? Piercings, tattoos?”

  “Yeah, on her upper right arm, facing her body so it’s hidden. It’s a tattoo of a playing card, the Queen of Hearts.”

  “She a gambler?”

  I had asked Jessica the same question when I first saw the tattoo during class. I thought maybe it was a clever good luck charm, but I just couldn’t see her in a Blackhawk casino playing cards. She was much too frugal.

  “No, she wasn’t a gambler, not in the traditional sense. Jessica told me she got the tattoo because she always wanted to be someone’s best bet.”

  Jiggs smiled. “Nice. I like that.”

  “So tell me this before you take off, because I’ve been wondering if it has to do with Jessica. Last Monday, a ghoul trying to pass himself off as human forced his way into my dojo and licked the floor before he got away, albeit without his Johnson.”

  Jiggs blanched back down to his usual pale. “You lopped off his dick?”

  “It was magically removed. Should be back by now. Maybe you can tell me who he is. And where he is so I can track the fucker down and beat some information out of him.” I described Floor Licker.

  “Are you sure he was in his twenties?”

  “Yes. You know him?”

  “No, I don’t.” Jiggs frowned and pushed his chair back. “If what you’re telling me is true, and I have no reason to think it isn’t, it just confirms a few things. Let me get back to you.”

  “Why can’t you tell me what you’re thinking now?”

  “Because if I’m wrong, then I’m sending you on a dangerous wild goose chase.”

  “If you haven’t noticed, I like danger. It gives me the chance to kill people.”

  “And believe me, we like it when you kill people, Kelly Chan. After Mile High, my Kin took to calling you the Midwife. But this would be dangerous even for you. Especially for you. We don’t want to lose our investment. Please, don’t do anything until I get back to you. Just be patient and let me do my work. Trust me when I say you’ll have the chance to kill, and we’ll happily follow in your wake.”

  Jiggs disappeared into his own shadow.

  The room felt especially quiet with him gone.

  The fish swam up to the glass almost as though it were looking for his finger, then drifted toward the surface of the water in search of food.

  I was tired, but knew I wasn’t going to fall asleep for a while. My mind replayed the day, the facts in Jessica’s case, the new information I’d learned. Somehow it all had to fit together, I just didn’t know how, yet. It was killing me to think that Jessica might be alive and in danger, but Jiggs was right – going off on a wild goose chase wouldn’t help her.

  I turned on my computer and watched a meteorite transform into a fine blade while I considered everything. When the video finished, I hit play again. As I watched, I shook my head at the strangest thing that had happened to me in a long time.

  “All the people I’ve killed, and they call me the Midwife?”

  I caught myself rubbing the wrist Jiggs had grabbed. It felt tender. Odd.

  By morning, it was bruised.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I slept into the early afternoon, thankful that I didn’t hold classes on Sundays. When I got up to make coffee, I noticed my bruised wrist. It was still in the shape of Jiggs’ fingers and circled my arm like a bracelet from an unwanted suitor. I touched the skin, traced the discoloration. Pressing down, I felt pain – not the fresh kind, but a lingering ache from an older injury. It was the first pain of its kind that I had felt since I was a child.

  Something was definitely wrong. I called Amanda. She answered on the third ring.

  “Hey, Kelly, not a good time.”

  “Tell Chaz to take a cold shower and give you a minute. I’m bruised.”

  Silence. Then, “Did you say you bruised someone, or that you were bruised?”

  “Me. I’m bruised. And it actually hurts.”

  More silence. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

  “I think it’s residual from that spell you cast on Floor Licker. I feel weak and I’m getting hurt. How long is that shit supposed to last?”

  “Not this long. It has to be something else.”

  “Like what? I’ve had several headaches now. What the hell’s happening to me?”

  “I really can’t tell you, Kelly.”

  “Dammit, I’ve heard way too much of that over the last twenty-four hours. What do you know about this?”

  “I don’t… Look, I can’t talk right now. I have a thing for work. You know, it probably is from that spell I cast. I was pretty ramped up at the time and I might have overdone it. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

  “Amanda—”

  “Kel, I gotta go. Love you. Stay out of trouble.”

  The line went dead.

  I tried calling her again but it went to voicemail. I left a message that probably put me on a terrorist list in a government computer somewhere. I considered crushing my phone, but slowly counted to ten instead and placed it gently on the kitchen counter.

  I looked at my wrist. The bruise had yellowed since I’d called Amanda. The pain was almost gone. So I was healing, but at a reduced rate, and sporadically. Normally, I would have healed too fast for a bruise to even form, and my pain receptors had been magically removed years ago.

  Or maybe they hadn’t been removed. Maybe they’d been there all along, lying dormant. And now they were waking up. But why?

  Standing in the middle of my kitchen, I had another un
familiar feeling. I felt vulnerable.

  I shut down that train of thought as soon as I had it. Because the next stop downtown from feeling vulnerable is feeling fear, and I simply don’t feel fear anymore.

  Or maybe I was afraid that I could feel fear again.

  Does that count as fear itself?

  Jonathan would have laughed at my philosophizing and called me Socrates. Only, he would have pronounced it “So-crates” like in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

  Thoughts of his lame jokes brought me back to myself. It was possible the bruising had nothing to do with me inexplicably falling apart and everything to do with Jiggs. I’d never fought a ghoul before, and they seemed to be full of surprises. But there were also the headaches to consider. Those were quite real and quite painful. When was the first one? After I fought Floor Licker?

  No. Before. When Amanda and I had been cleaning up. And for every subsequent headache I’d had, Amanda was right there, telling me not to worry about them.

  Perhaps Miss West has found a creative way to prove her loyalty.

  I can’t talk right now, I have a thing for work.

  Did Amanda’s work include reporting on my weakened condition to DGI? If so, I’d just given her a great update. I didn’t want to consider that Amanda was causing my weakness.

  But there it was. Well, shit.

  No use worrying about it now. I had Jessica to think about. I wasn’t about to sit on my ass and wait for Jiggs to pop through another shadow before I did something.

  I picked up my phone again, thankful that I hadn’t crushed it, and dialed Monique.

  “I just got back from church, Miss K. I’ve got the congregation praying for Jessica. Tell me you got some good news.”

  “Not yet. But I think you can help me.”

  I asked Monique about Jessica’s new workplace. “Did they really just tell you she didn’t work there and escort you out?”

  “Yes, ma’am, they did.”

  I got the company name and address from her and told Monique I’d be in touch. The whole time, I carefully kept the anger out of my voice.

  The address was in the Tech Center.