Challenged (Vipers Creed MC#1)
Page 12
I ordered room service and watched movies until the sun set. I turned my phone off completely after the vibrations from Cade calling wouldn’t stop.
My damn heart would flutter every time he called, but I wouldn’t pick it up. I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t trust anyone except Jett to run Sirens.
I texted her, telling her I wouldn’t be in tonight, then fell asleep with the gun under my pillow.
I AWOKE TO a banging on the door that jolted me upright and caused my heart to pound.
“Trixie, open the fucking door, or I swear I’ll fucking bust it down,” Cade’s voice rang through the other side.
How in the fuck did he find me? I covered my location and done everything possible to stay hidden. I’d made sure of it.
No light came through the windows, so it had to be night still.
My bare feet hit the plush carpet as I made my way to the door, looking out the peephole. I saw Cade’s vein pulse in his neck, anger radiating off him. Not only that, but Boner and Stiff were with him. Fuck.
“I know you’re fucking in there, Trixie. Open the goddamned door now.”
I didn’t want to.
I heaved out a big sigh. “Cade, go away. I’m tired. Please leave,” I said so softly I didn’t know if he heard me.
I pressed my palms to the door to hold me up as a wave of despair hit me. It felt like fifteen years ago when he ignored me. Except, this time, it was worse. I knew what he really felt like now, what he tasted like. Regardless, I couldn’t trust him. He’d broken that a long time ago, and now with new information sprung on me I was so damn confused.
“No, open the door.”
My heart hurt as it squeezed, and a tear slid down my cheek.
“Cade, go away.”
“Trixie, let me in now.”
I hit the door hard with my palm, screeching, “I’m done! Whatever sick game you have going on here, I don’t want any part of it, Cade Baker. I’m out. Leave now!” The last part had a crack in my voice that pissed me off.
“Trixie.” His voice calming. “This isn’t a game, and I’d rather not discuss this through a fucking door where everyone in the damn hallway can hear.”
“Just please go.”
“Trix,” Boner said softly in a voice that was so damn compassionate I almost forgot why I didn’t want them inside the room. “Open the door and let us talk to you.”
I shook my head, tears falling from my face. I knew they couldn’t see, which was a good thing since I didn’t cry in front of anyone if I could help it.
“Babe, just open up so we can talk to you,” Stiff said, his voice also calm.
“I can’t,” I told them.
“Why not?” Cade clipped.
“Because I can’t trust you, Cade. I can’t trust any of you.” I couldn’t trust anyone in my life. While my gut told me he was being honest with me, that didn’t mean I could actually trust him.
“Trixie, you can trust me. Always,” Cade said as I rested my forehead on the door.
I wanted that. I wanted to have someone I could count on in my life, but I didn’t. All I had was myself, and that sucked.
“No, I can’t. I don’t know who you are anymore, Cade. I don’t know what you’re into or what you’ve done. This story is so farfetched I can’t wrap my head around it. Then, with the Colonel involved … I just can’t.” All of it was too much. I was a damn strong woman, but fuck, talk about bringing a woman down to her knees.
“How can you not trust me? I told you the truth, something I don’t tell anyone. Please open the door so we can come in. I can’t have everyone hearing me.”
“You’re not gonna go away, are you?” I relented.
“No, babe. Open up.”
I lifted my head from the door and pushed off. The tissues on the table were rough when I wiped my nose on them, but I got all the tears off my face before steeling myself. I looked down at my clothes, seeing I had pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt on, so nothing was showing.
Just like everything else in life, I could do this, too.
I sucked in a deep breath and unlocked the door. I gripped the handle, and in a whoosh, Cade stood in front of me.
I met his concerned stare head-on, not giving a single inch. Sure, he could probably see the redness of my eyes, yet I didn’t care.
“Baby.” He stepped closer.
I took a step back, widening the door for them to come into the room. I couldn’t let him touch me, not knowing what that touch would do right now. I needed distance.
Once the men were in the small space, it seemed almost claustrophobic, so I moved to the only window across the room as the door clicked shut.
Cade started toward me again.
“Don’t,” I warned him, my eyes growing intense.
He halted.
“Stay over there. Say what you need to say then get out.”
He moved to the wall only a few feet to the side of me while Stiff and Boner stayed back by the door.
“Trixie, tell me what’s in your head,” he said.
I scoffed. “No. Say what you want and get out.”
“Trixie …” he warned. “Why don’t you trust me?” The words were pained as they came out, like I was physically hurting him.
“Oh, I don’t know. Because fifteen years ago, you told me you weren’t ever going to let me go, only to let me go in the most dick-ish way possible. Then you decided to lay a bomb on me that shakes the ground under my feet. So, no, Cade, I don’t fucking trust you. And as far as you two go”—I aimed my stare at Boner and Stiff—“testing me isn’t fucking happening. I’ve dealt with too many shitheads in my life. I’m done with that.”
“I was a dick, and I told you why,” Cade started.
“Then why even tell me all that shit? Because now, with our past Cade, I don’t know if I could ever trust you. Especially after all of this.”
Cade looked at Boner and Stiff then sighed. “Let’s talk about trust for a minute. I’m gonna put even more trust in you. I’m going to tell you something that only three people know besides me. Boner, Stiff, and Bosco are the only ones. This shit’s important, and I need to know I can count on you to keep it between us.”
Oh, shit. My stomach did a somersault as I nodded.
“My father had me tailed that night we were together. The guy reported back to him that you were with me. My old man told me, if I didn’t get my head in the game with his extra business, he’d make sure you paid. I played it off like you were just pussy to me. He didn’t buy it.”
My heart fell to the floor. Holy shit. Who would do that?
“That was the moment I knew I didn’t have a choice other than to take him down. I made a plan and followed through. I got my club out of the business, had the Colonel begin his take over, and then shot my father.”
I closed my eyes as my mind processed the barrage of words. He had shot his father? He shot his father. Holy fucking shit. My gut twisted in a knot so tight I didn’t think it would ever release. He was right about one thing—this was huge. This was murder, and he trusted me with this information.
“Babe, I’m telling you the truth. I’m trusting you with this information because I believe in you … in us,” he said with such earnestness that my heart jumped.
“Trix,” Boner said from across the room, and my eyes went to him. “He is. The only reason the club came on board with him telling you is because he loves you.”
Cade whipped his head around to glare at Boner, and I felt my heart shatter. Damn, I was a moron. He didn’t love me. That hurt.
“Spook, stop fucking around. Your woman is about ready to leave your ass. You don’t throw all your cards on the table now, she’s gone.”
“It’s too late.” My chest hurt. I wanted them all to leave. “You said your peace; now, please, leave me alone.”
Cade sliced his head back toward me, a new sense of determination coming off him. If I weren’t holding up the wall with my back, I would have tried to move away. Hi
s breathing intensified, nostrils flared, and his eyes darkened, seeming to be working fast with thoughts behind them. Then he spoke, knocking me on my ass.
“He’s right. Loved you fifteen years ago, love you now.”
How many times in my life had I wished to hear those words coming from Cade’s mouth? Now, here they were, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t trust those words. What if all of this was another test to gauge me or something?
I shook my head. “Too late,” I whispered.
He came to me quickly, pulling me into him.
I pushed at his chest. “Let go,” I demanded.
“Trixie, I’m trying really hard here to be a patient man, but it’s getting harder by the second. Me and my boys are the ones you can trust. Swear it on my fucking life.”
I lost it. “Don’t you know how fucking badly I want to believe you? Trust you? I’m back in your life for days, and you lay all this on the table! Tell me, Cade, if I can trust you to tell me the truth, did you help your father with his business?”
Cade stilled under me, and my stomach dropped, but I didn’t let it show.
He shook his head as if he were clearing away some memories. His voice came out quiet, his eyes appearing pained. “Yeah, babe, I did. I don’t wanna talk about the shit I did. Please don’t make me,” he pleaded. “I don’t want that shit floating around in your head. I’m not that man. I’m the guy who was with you for six months. I’m the man who stands in front of you today. Everything in the past is exactly where it needs to stay.”
“How do I get over that?” Because I had no clue. How did I live with the knowledge that he helped his father sell women, possibly even hurt them?
“I didn’t have a choice, Trixie.” He pulled me to him more firmly. “I had to follow what he said. He was too powerful not to. All you gotta do is believe in me, the man before you now.”
For a flash, I saw the boy who had laid with me under the stars as I told him what each of the constellations were. I didn’t think he cared about them, but he listened to my little freshman self.
I missed him. So damn much. My heart ached to the point of serious physical pain.
“I don’t know if I can.” My words were quiet and I hurt from the pained look on his face.
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I couldn’t hide them.
“Try. For me, baby. You gotta try.”
While I wanted to let him in, it was all too raw, too fresh.
Silence filled the space for long moments as my mind spun.
“I make no promises.” I couldn’t. My stubbornness wouldn’t allow me to get walked all over again. However, I had that small glimmer of hope that he would prove himself to me. “If I find out you’re lying to me about this, that you took advantage of my trust in any way, you’ll never see me again, and I’ll put a bullet in you myself.”
The guys chuckled.
“Go,” Cade barked out at the two guys.
I rested my head in the crook of his neck. He smelled of tobacco and Cade as I hugged him, wanting to be able to trust him. At that moment, however, I just needed comfort from my life, and I sought it in Cade’s strong embrace.
I HELD TRIXIE tight to my body as she slept, both arms locked around her for fear she’d leave again. I wasn’t going to let her go anywhere ever.
I’d been a fucking mess when I woke up to find her gone. Pissed didn’t cut it. I almost punched Boner, Stiff, and Bosco. Then, when I couldn’t find her for fucking hours and hours, I really lost it.
Dawg finally got a lock on her cell phone. That’s how we found her at the hotel. I’d had to bribe the clerk to look up someone who only paid in cash. I knew she didn’t use a card because I checked. I was pretty proud of her for that. She was pretty fucking smart when it came to not being found. That was good and bad.
I dropped hard information on her, not knowing what she’d do. Not that I thought for a second she’d go to the cops. No, that didn’t cross my mind. My concern was for her. I wanted to be the one to hold her though all of this. Comfort her. Love her.
Boner being fucking right again, I needed to lay everything out on the table with her. I hoped it all didn’t blow up in my face.
She moved her hand up and down my arm. Shit, I thought she was sleeping.
“I wanna talk to the Colonel.”
“Don’t think that’s a good idea, Trixie.” I kissed the back of her head, knowing despite my words, she would talk to him. She was too strong of a woman not to. “But, if you want to, I’m there with you.”
Her head turned toward me. “Why?”
“Because he’s not gonna be too happy that I told you.”
She turned fully in my arms.
“Normally, the only people who know club business are in the club. This situation rides me differently. It happened so long ago, you’re involved, and I want you as my woman, so I’m letting you in on it. When we struck the deal, it was under the assumption no one other than the club would know. Now you do, and I don’t know how he’s gonna take that.” I included Trixie in the deal with the Colonel to be absolutely certain he wouldn’t hurt her. I always wanted her protected, and that hadn’t changed.
“I have to, Cade. I have to talk to him, find out if he’s still doing it, if I can stop it.” Her words came out fast. I had to stop her.
“One thing is a definite. You cannot get involved with that business. Ever.”
She started again, and I squeezed her.
“Those fuckers don’t play around, Trixie. You get involved with it, they’ll try to take you away from me. That’s not happening.”
Just the thought of those fuckers getting their hands on her sent ice through my veins. I worked so damn hard to shield her from this life, not wanting any of it to touch her.
Her eyes lost a little of the determination. “I still feel like I need to talk to him. You have to understand that.”
I did, but I didn’t like it one bit.
“With me there.”
“Fine. I’m still on the fence with you, though. I …” She shook her head into the pillow. “This is going to be hard for me.”
“We’ll work it out.”
Done talking, I kissed her, and it only took moments for her body to give in. I had a raging hard-on, but I wouldn’t push for sex. I just needed to kiss her so she’d know I wasn’t full of shit. I needed to be connected to her in the simplest of ways.
It seemed like everything came full circle. My younger days were filled with want for her and my future. I couldn’t have them both, so I gave up one for the other. Well, I’d be damned if I gave her up a second time.
I pulled away, looking deep into her eyes. “You’re gonna trust me, Trixie. I’m gonna do everything in my damn power to make it happen.”
“COULD YOU JUST leave for a while?” Trixie asked from her desk in her office.
Although she said she had shit to catch up on, I wasn’t quite ready to let her out of my sight yet. It’d been a day since I brought her home from the hotel, and I stayed on her the entire time or had one of my boys do it. Leaving her right now wasn’t an option. Therefore, I put Boner in charge of the shop, having him filter things through me yet taking care of the day-to-day shit.
“Nah.” I stretched out on the leather couch in the far corner of her office. “I’m comfortable.”
“Whatever,” she grumbled. “I’m not gonna run.”
“I know.” Because I’d be here so she wouldn’t. I couldn’t go through the hell of having her disappear again. No fucking way.
“Hovering over me is not going to win you any points in the trust department.”
I sucked in deep. “Babe, I know. Just give me some time, and then shit’ll go back to normal.” Whatever in the fuck normal was. “Anyway, in a few hours, I have church at the clubhouse. I’ll have to leave you here for a while.” Damn if that didn’t eat at my gut.
“I have Ike,” she retorted.
“You mean the guy I took out?”
She shrugg
ed. “He’s been told to shoot first and ask questions later.”
“Good.” I’d still have one of my guys on her, too.
FOUR HOURS LATER, Trixie threw down her pen and yawned. “I’m gonna call him,” she said just as I started to drift off. It snapped my attention to alert.
“I advise you don’t.” It was a long shot, but I rolled with it.
She picked up her cell, her hand slightly trembling as she pushed some buttons.
I sat up from the couch and ran my fingers through my hair. Fucking hell.
“It’s Trixie … Can you come to my office tomorrow at three? … Because I need to talk to you … No, I can’t. I have to work … Okay, then the next day? … Alright, at five. I’ll be here.” She swiped the phone off, leaning back in her chair with a heavy sigh.
“When?” I asked, even though I just heard.
“Two days. He’ll be here at five.”
“Alright.” Fuck, I didn’t want her to see that dick.
“You know, I always knew the Colonel was an asshole, but this”—she waved her hand in the air—“I just don’t get. I mean, I don’t get how anyone could do it. My father dealt in numbers. Numbers on the cards, money … not selling women.” She shook her head. “At least, that’s what I thought. Damn, I was a fool.”
I moved to her, sitting on the edge of her desk. “You, Trixie, are anything but a fool. You were meant to stay clear of all of this business and would have …” I trailed off, not liking where my words were going.
“If I hadn’t come to you about Nanette,” she finished.
“Yeah.”
“Why is that, Cade? If you felt this way about me, why did I have to come to you?”
I moved in front of her, and her legs spread, letting me in. “Because, Trixie, I’m no good for you. I’m an asshole who gets what he wants. I’m demanding as fuck in bed. My club is my soul. You deserve better than all this shit I’m throwing at you. I knew it then, and I know it now.”
She tilted her head, but before she could say anything, I continued, “I’m a selfish bastard, though. As soon as I saw you back in my club, I knew I couldn’t let you go a second time. That’s why, plain and simple. You believe in fate?”