by L. U. Ann
I stand over Evan’s playpen watching his chest rise and fall for the longest time. I don't want to leave. I'm waiting for Devon to tell me when it’s time. The thought of walking out the door without him almost sends me into a panic. Devon is so patient, giving me as much time as I want, but finally tells me we should get some rest. Reluctantly, I move my weighted legs towards the door, weighted from the grief of leaving Evan.
"I've got it Babe!" I exclaim on the car ride home.
Devon's grin eggs me on.
"I have it all figured out, okay? You go on your trip tomorrow and I'll stay here. On Friday, when Caine has to report back to work, we leave with Evan. Maybe we shouldn't tell him you're coming back. He's more likely to let me watch him alone on Friday if you aren't here." I smile while he sits there all cocky.
"I think I have the most brilliant wife on earth. I love you so much, Lacey," Devon replies, taking my lips willingly hostage.
He thinks it’s a perfect opportunity for us to get on the plane and head back to Maryland. I’m trying to stay as optimistic as him; it’s just hard.
"Will you call Lane and let her know we're okay, and what’s going on?" Devon asks softly, knowing he's treading on thin ice with this subject. I’m not ready to hear the disappointment Lane will have in me. I failed Mom and now look what I’ve done. I didn't keep Evan safe.
"What about Becca?" he asks, hoping he will persuade me to talk to someone instead of hiding in my head.
I’m sure Becca will be on the first plane here if I call. I know she’s worried after witnessing everything Caine did while we were married.
There are too many things I need to work out here before I can add something else. Maybe after tomorrow's visit, I'll call.
"Please, let me wait until tomorrow, Devon. Everything is too much to deal with. I know they’re worried, so I'll send a text to give them an update of our trip to… Shit, where did we go? I can't remember." More than likely, Becca will flip her bitch switch. Damn.
As I stare out the window at nothing but scary darkness, Devon's hand tightens on mine. I turn in his direction, but can barely make out his outline. Next thing I know, his soft lips are on mine, and shit, this feels so nice. My hand cups his cheek, taking in the light stubble since his morning shave. It’s been so long. Now that I know Evan is safe with Caine and we have a plan, I can relax a little and enjoy how amazing Devon feels.
Moments later, we arrive back at the cottage. It's so easy to understand the love Devon has for this place. It truly is surreal.
His mouth moves to give me a kiss, but his breath elicits a shiver. Devon takes his cue, moving his mouth in search of mine. Our kiss grows stronger and stronger. My eyes begin to tear. As I wrap a leg around him, needing to feel the closeness I've been without for a long time, he picks me up and begins walking towards the stairs.
Once inside the room, our kisses are urgent and filled with need. Devon lowers me so that our hands can work, frantically removing each and every article of clothing as quickly as possible, tossing them wherever. He picks me up again and we fall onto the bed.
"Devon... I've missed this." I cry from the weight of everything that's happened, and how much need I have for Devon.
"Sweetheart, don't cry," he coos, kissing my tears away.
"I love you so much. I'm sorry for everything," I cry, too overwhelmed with emotions to express everything I'm feeling.
"There is nothing to be sorry about. I love you. Let me love you, please. I've missed you... this... too," he whispers against my skin, sending delightful goose bumps all over.
"Please Devon... "
Chapter Fifteen and a Half
"Sweetheart, I'm home."
"Daddy, daddy, daddy. Happy birfday!" Evan runs into his arms.
"Hey buddy, it's already the best birthday ever cause we get to play trains."
Evan's face lights up.
"What did you and Mommy do today?"
He places a finger on his lips, knowing he isn't supposed to tell. "Shhhhhhh... Cake!"
"Did you bake me a cake?" Devon whispers to Evan, his eyes bright and shiny. He wears a huge grin and is so excited.
Evan nods enthusiastically as I walk out of the bedroom with Devon's gifts resting on my oversized belly.
Wait... what?
The sun shines through the window, waking me from my peaceful sleep. My dream from last night paints a beautiful picture of what our future can be. No, will be. I can't be happier than I am right now. Well, maybe if I had Evan here with me, but as usual, Caine has to put himself first and hurt Evan and me. Devon assures me we'll get him back to Maryland before the week is over. He is leaving for a meeting early in the morning, so he’s not able to stay. I won't let him. He's worked so hard in his internship to be where he is right now. I can't let him jeopardize it. And since we can’t leave with him, he will fly back Tuesday after he finishes a few more things at the office. I'm going to miss him terribly.
I run my fingers along the illustrious muscles beneath me. Feeling safe, I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep. But that doesn't happen. Devon's hand grabs my wrist, and flipping me lightly onto my back, he smiles down at me in amusement. The man is beyond incredible.
His mouth runs along my jaw to my ear where he says in a whispered voice, "Good morning, my love."
My body wakes, wanting more of him. Clothes weren't important last night and I enjoy the warmth of his body against mine. He plants kisses down my neck and we begin to show our love for one another.
My insides are dancing while I lay here with his soft, slow kisses pushing me closer. Lust and love blow away any trace of the emotional pain caused by these last few weeks. As we escape into one another, I come to terms with reality. I'm ready to seek help and stop hiding from my grief. The world can end around us and we won't know. Our hands are all over each other searching for any missing particle. The tsunami of warmth floods my senses, crushing and drowning everything in its path. Immediately following, as if my escape is the string holding his release, the thunderous storm unhinges. We continue to kiss, neither one ready to separate, too thirsty to let go and too hungry to detach.
Devon's carefree spirit is contagious. This morning while Alice fixes breakfast, we dance a little to the music Alice is playing. I beg her and Frank to join us. I'm not sure when I'll have a chance to see them when we get back home. It is so easy to fall in love with these two. We all work together to make a picnic lunch, in hopes that we can sneak off with Evan, as well as a few sandwiches for Frank and me for later this evening. I know I won't be leaving for dinner so we pack a few things to tide us over. Devon will eat supper on the plane.
We return to the guesthouse where Caine is staying with Evan. This is only temporary until he weasels his way into a house on base where he plans to live happily ever after with Evan, and somehow, me, too. I roll my eyes because, little does he know, that will never happen. I've tried telling him. But he won't accept it. He can't stay in the barracks because of Evan. I wonder how long this guest-housing thing will work.
"Do we knock?" I ask as we approach the door. What's the protocol for situations like this?
"Hell if I know. I say we just walk in. He has your son. No, wait. I'm sorry I said that. We need to be smart about this. I say knock."
Morning moves along as I play with Evan. I can tell Devon is a little less tense around Caine. Don’t get me wrong. There is tension. It’s just toned down one notch. I think he has put aside some of the anger to help us get through this.
"Caine, we brought a picnic lunch for the three of us. We want to take a walk and explore the park."
"Um." He’s silent for a moment, deep in thought. "Can I go?"
"No, we didn't pack a lunch for you. We want to spend time with Evan as a family."
Irate, he says, "You're walking, right?" He points to Frank who has been so kind to stay with us. "He's not driving you."
"Stop being rude! Frank doesn't deserve to be spoken to like that." I chastise Caine. "And
, we said we were going for a walk not a drive."
Caine is still pissed we didn't invite him along. Does he really think I'm going to extend that olive branch after the stunts he's pulled? He must be insane.
Before leaving, Caine is irate and makes a hasty departure as if it will bother me. Shrugging my shoulders, I carry on with my merry men.
We find a gorgeous spot to sit on the rocks and watch the waves lap the shore. It truly is a picturesque park. The breeze is a little chilly, but the blankets we’ve packed help block the wind. Evan is all smiles with Devon while he talks about boats and water and fish.
"Lacey, we should get a fish tank when we get home. I bet Evan would love it."
Smiling, I agree.
"What type of fish should we get?" Devon asks.
"Um, do you want fresh or saltwater?" I ask, hoping he wants to keep it simple.
"Saltwater," he answers, grinning because he knows I wanted him to say freshwater.
I shake my head.
"Well, you're going to be the one to clean it then," I lecture. When I pull the goodies out our basket, I find a box with a bow on it. I jerk my head to Devon who is wearing a sexy ass grin. "What's this? When did you get this?"
"Open it."
"You need to stop spoiling me, Honey, or I'm going to begin to expect these things," I tease, removing the bow to reveal the Tiffany & Co imprint, and my heart flutters. He is so good to me. How did I get so lucky? Opening the square container and pulling back the tissue, I find a bracelet bearing the eternity symbol with equal chain links on each side, ending at the clasp. It's absolutely beautiful.
"Oooo Mommee," Evan says, liking the way it shines and sparkles in the sun's rays.
"Devon, I love it. Thank you so much." After I pull the bracelet out, he helps with the clasp to secure it to my wrist. "It's gorgeous." I kiss him.
"I am eternally grateful to have you and Evan in my life. I love you so much, Lacey. I know you were uneasy about having a wedding without your Mom, but I feel as though I haven't given you the romantic, sweep you off your feet moments. So much has happened, but I plan on making you so happy. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you forever, for an eternity."
"You make me so happy, Devon. I know I haven't been easy to get along with lately. Once we get home, I want to see Debi, that therapist, again. I think it's time." I admit. "I love you so much. Please don't ever doubt that. I will love you forever."
We kiss while Evan takes the box and begins to make a toy out of it.
"Why don't I just call my boss and tell him I'm not flying home?" He looks at me, hopeful that I might help him make this choice.
"Devon, you've been hard for this position since you began interning. They are counting on you. I'll be honest. I don't want you to go, but it's the right thing. Trust me, I will miss you every second, and I promise you, more than anything, I will be here waiting for you. Please, don't worry Devon. I love you. Having you and Evan creates a wonderful world and I'm absolutely amazed this is real."
Devon moves my head to kiss me. I know he feels the same way. Nothing else compares to the wealth of our love for one another and Evan. Our family.
After lunch, we walk back, each holding one of Evan's hands. It's perfect. We don't stay out as long as we want because we need to get Evan out of the wind coming off the water. Devon says he'll be more comfortable playing at the guesthouse. He's right. I just don't want to be under Caine's nose and critical gaze. I know he's watching us and waiting for one of us to do something he can use against us. I wouldn't put it past him. He's delusional because Devon and I are playing by the books. We aren't giving him any ammunition.
Evan takes his afternoon nap in Devon's arms. This seems to piss Caine off. I don't want any of this drama to hurt Evan. I'm praying he doesn't take any of his anger out on my little man. I already can't wait for Devon to return. It almost feels like we are making the most of the day to only say goodbye later. I'm so pathetic. Two days, Lacey. Seriously, get a hold of yourself.
A few hours later, Devon and I are walking outside to say our goodbyes.
"Lacey, I'm having another family friend drive me to the airport,” Devon says when he sees my confusion. “I know you and Frank are close, so he's going to stay with you. I'll feel much better about leaving if I know I'm leaving you in a strange place with someone you and I both trust. You are a long way from home, Baby. I can't leave you with just anyone. Your happiness and Evan's are my concern and I don't trust Caine any more than I can throw him."
I agree, because Frank is a happy distraction from Caine, plus Caine won't do anything with Frank here.
"I love you, Sugar Pants." He cups my bottom, leaning in for a kiss with a mischievous smirk. The feel of those lips brands me, shutting out the world around us. "I'm going to miss you, Baby," he says, placing butterfly kisses along my jaw.
"I'll miss you even if it's just two days,” I reply in a delicate voice. “Is it okay if I'm selfish and beg you not to go?" I half-heartedly tease.
"Say the word and I'm canceling. It's up to you. I kind of feel like being a little rebellious." He winks.
"No, this is okay. We'll survive two days even if it hurts." I shake my head in his hands.
"Here." He reaches into his pocket. "I almost forgot to give this back to you." He hands me my cell phone that I had asked him to hold for me earlier. His ride arrives. It's a black car similar to the one Frank drives.
"Oh, Devon, I love you so much. Sorry will never be enough for what we've had to endure, for what Caine is putting us through." I'm unsuccessful in holding back the tears. This man has single-handedly captured my shattered heart and soul. "Thank you for everything you do for me and Evan. You need to get going before you miss your take off. I love you."
I hear pitter-patter behind me and Evan yells, "De-De," bringing a smile to Devon and me.
"Oh Evan, I'm going to miss you so much buddy. You be good for Mommy, okay?"
Evan's arms immediately fly around Devon’s neck in a strangle grip, and I laugh at how much love these two men have in them.
"Evan can you do me a favor?" Evan nods, completely engrossed in whatever Devon has to say. "I need you to watch over my train while I'm gone so that when I get back, we can play. Can you do that?"
"Yisssss," Evan tries to say. Putting on his serious face, he says, "I wuv you, De-De."
My heart squeezes. I love to hear Evan say that to Devon.
"I love you, too, buddy. Be good and maybe the Cookie Monster will come back with me." Devon squeezes Evan tight and tickles his sides.
"I love you," I say, transferring Evan into my arms. Devon spoils him so much.
He leans in to kiss me with all the promises of our future. I hold onto the moment.
"I love you, too. Remember not to piss Caine off. I'll do everything I can to get him back home. Okay?"
I nod, knowing and trusting in his word.
"Good, I'm glad you believe me."
"Devon, I trust you with what I thought was the impossible, my heart. I have faith you are a man of your word and loyal to those you love. I'm so grateful for you. I love you so much. Be careful, okay?"
"Okay. I will for you and yooooouu." He laughs, rubbing noses with Evan. With another, "I love you," he plants one more kiss and lets go of my hand.
I stand here holding Evan, and watching him leave as the taillights drift further away. It's a little drive to the airport. I do the time in my head, and figure he'll arrive at around six forty-five for a seven o'clock take off. It's nice to be able to skip all the security scrutiny and fly in a private jet.
Walking back inside to play with Evan, I begin to count down the time Devon and I will be separated. I can do this and it will give me time to work on Caine. I can't wait for us to be together in two days. Evan will fly home with Devon and me before the week is over, and we can all settle. Unfortunately, it will be settling for a life without Mom.
Caine might have taken Evan on his first flight, but
I'll be flying him home to live with me forever. There's no way Caine will do this again. I'll be sure my lawyer knows about this little stunt.
I nod to Frank, feeling silly at how emotional I've become lately. The phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out and smile. It's Devon telling me he already misses me. Wiping my tears, Evan studies me, scrunches his eyebrows in his serious face, and stands to give me a big bear hug. I lay back and he gifts me with a megawatt grin. I love it.
"Oh Sweet Pea, I love you so much!"
After Frank and I eat the sandwiches Devon helped me prepare earlier for supper, Caine brings Evan’s bedtime bottle to me. Cuddling with my little man is absolute Heaven.
I want to keep Frank as comfortable as possible. The poor guy having to deal with my kidnapping, douche bag ex-husband just makes me want to crawl in a hole for him. Evan is probably the one thing holding him together. That’s because Frank is a freaking teddy bear. A two-hundred, seventy-five pound Pooh Bear who turns to honey when it comes to Evan.
Frank and I talk about Alice and their plans for the holidays. Even though the holidays are months from now, the valuable lesson that I learned last year has stuck with me. You must have a well thought out plan or you'll end up getting sucked into going here and there. It had been exhausting, to say the least. This conversation quickly moves into the summers that Devon and his brother spent on the coast. It seems that Devon didn't realize that everyone knew it was the two boys who lived in the cottage pulling all the pranks. Frank has me laughing at a story about a certain person letting his pet snake loose in the main building.
Frank’s phone vibrates, putting an end to our conversation. He's very loyal to the Holmes family and is always on first alert status with them. I've seen them treat Frank and Alice well, and I need to do something special for them.
Evan finishes his nighttime bottle, snuggles on the sofa with me, and plays with his blanket instead of going to sleep. We giggle over a game of tug-of-war.