Destructive Choices
Page 26
My mom died because of the things my father did, didn’t do, or continued to do until she took her last breath on June 3rd. Did she have a ‘DNR’ (Do Not Resuscitate)? I have no idea. My sister and I never knew of one. To this day, we’ve never known if our mom had a DNR. I can only wonder if my father was happy the moment she took her last breath.
RESOURCES
Everybody will experience a tragic moment at one point in his or her lives.
That moment doesn’t have to define you!
I thought Destructive Silence was tough to write because of the domestic violence. It was hard, but Destructive Choices was brutal.
As you go about your day, passing people at work, shopping or even at home, you're likely to have shared the same air with someone who has untreated depression. Sometimes, when the pain becomes so great, those same people may believe suicide is the only option for relief. It's not the option because it doesn't fix anything. It leaves excruciating pain in its wake when the right professional treatment could be a simple cure. It is important for all friends and family members of a loved one dealing with a mental illness to learn the warning signs. Walking away from the friend you bumped into at the grocery store who is suffering from depression, could be the last interaction you'll ever have because no one saw the warnings. Suicide should NEVER be taken lightly. It doesn't discriminate; it affects every race and social class.
I included a number of these resources in the back of Destructive Silence, and will keep the ones important to this story here because so many women and men face domestic violence every day. It is hard for those who have not walked in the shoes of the victim to understand how difficult it is to gather the courage to finally leave. I applaud everyone who has taken that step and I pray that someone who is reading this and going through a similar situation will take a leap of faith. YOU are not alone and YOU do not deserve to be treated with anything but the utmost respect!
Alcoholism and codependency were thought to go hand in hand until recently. This addiction affects every race, religion, and social class. It is serious and can lead to immoral activity such as child abuse, domestic violence, assault and more. Persons afflicted with the disease usually isolate themselves from their loved ones as well as world around. A lot of people turn to alcohol to cope with grief and stress. When a spouse or parent drinks to cope, they are unknowingly putting a wedge between alcohol and the ones they love. This person becomes dependent on something innate to feed their need for comfort. People with codependency often form one-sided relationships and can be a learned behavior often from a dysfunctional family member. A dysfunctional family member can be deemed as chemically dependent, by either alcohol or drugs, victim of a physical or sexual assault or untreated mental health. Most people who fall into these categories come from families who did not deal with the issue they faced in a healthy way. These individuals are at risk of adapting by disengaging themselves from healthy relationships.
SUICIDE
You are NOT alone!
1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1.800.273.8255
Please learn the risk factors and warning signs so that you someone. When there are multiple risk factors, the risk is of an attempt is much greater.
Suicide.org
Suicide.org's mission is to prevent suicides, support suicide survivors, and educate the public about suicide.
http://www.suicide.org/index.html
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
AFSP is the nation's leading organization bringing together people across communities and backgrounds to understand and prevent suicide, and to help heal the pain it causes.
http://www.afsp.org
BIPOLAR DISORDER
You are NOT crazy and you cannot change your genetic material!
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder. Those who suffer from the disorder and are left untreated can have poor school and/or job performance, damaged relationships, unproductive lives that can all lead to suicide. The normal ups and downs that everyone experiences are much stronger, even severe.
International Bipolar Foundation
International Bipolar Foundation's mission is to eliminate Bipolar Disorder through the advancement of research; to promote and enhance care and support services; and to erase associated stigma through public education.
http://www.internationalbipolarfoundation.org
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
NIMH's mission is to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illness through basic and clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery, and cure.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
NAMI is the nation's largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of American affected by mental illness. NAMI advocates for access to services, treatment, supports and research and is steadfast in its commitment to raise awareness and build a community for home for all of those in need.
http://www.nami.org
CHILD ABUSE
Because it is NOT okay to hurt a child - they may hurt MORE than you realize!
CHILDHELP
Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse
Their mission is to meet the physical, emotional, educational, and spiritual needs of abused, neglected, and at-risk children. We focus our efforts on advocacy, prevention, treatment, and community outreach.
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). Calls are taken 24/7.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
It is NOT okay-There are NO excuses!
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and TTY 1-800-787-3224.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
Providing advocacy, safety planning, resources and hope.
http://www.thehotline.org/
DomesticViolence.org
Domesticviolence.org offers information for those who have lived with abuse and those who are currently being abused.
http://www.domesticviolence.org
Many abusers are so controlling their victims are not allowed to use the phone or internet. If you are in need to use the internet to report abuse and cannot get to a safe computer, both of the links above have quick access to the information you need. But remember, there is always a trail.
BE safe, but most of all, BE smart!
CODEPENDENCY
You do NOT need someone else to make you happy!
Co-dependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.
Mental Health America
1-800-273-TALK http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/codependency
MISSING AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN
Report crimes against children!
24-Hour HOTLINE 1.800.THE.LOST (1.800.843.5678)
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)
NCMEC is the leading nonprofit organization in the U.S. providing assistance to law enforcement and families to find missing children, reduce child sexual exploitation and prevent child victimization.
http://www.missingkids.com/home
About the Author
Author L.U. Ann moved to Colorado from the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her husband and two children. Life in Colorado is so much different. In Maryland you would find her in the garden tending to her vegetables and flowers, sea glass and shark tooth hunting once a week and enjoying the kids swimming in the backyard. Our lives took a drastic change moving to "Our Little House on the Prairie" at an elevation over 6,000 and the semi-arid climate makes it hard to grow anything. While barely anything can grow where she resides now, the wildlife makes up for it. Mountain Lions and coyo
tes and rattlesnakes, oh my!
She tries to spend a little time each day writing but domestic chores around the house usually take precedence. She would much rather hide them from her husband. She tends to her loving four-legged friends, who at times become much too demanding when she locks herself in the office. This often results in MORE domestic work; cleaning up after their deviant behavior.
At night, you’ll find her begging the kids to go to bed so she can catch up on the latest book before her sister can. Yes, she is an avid reader who escapes her chaotic but wonderful home to the feisty depths of romance land in search of her newest book boyfriend. Shh, don’t tell her husband!
She is an artist by the grace of God. She worked as a set designer for six years, helping establish a local children's theatre where she was the scenery artist, set, and prop designer. Before that you would find her covered in paint so engrossed in painting a mural, time didn't exist. Graphic design is her guilty pleasure.
Finding Hope for Tomorrow
Blurb
One fateful night. Convictions forgotten. Foundations crumbled.
For the past ten years, Liam lived his life with one foot in the present. He spent time with his parents, his sister Wrynn and her three daughters, and worked to build his business. His other foot was firmly planted in yesterday where his memories tortured him. Despite encouragement from friends and family, Liam refused to consider dating for fear of ruining another person’s life. After all, he obviously hurt Lara to the point that she ran with no further contact. Just when he felt ready to consider moving on, that voice from his past once again exploded into his life.
Unexplained absence. Lives forever changed. Secrets revealed.
Fleeing was a way of life for Lara. When a call came ten years ago, Lara may have left Highlands, but her heart stayed behind with Liam. Now, another call gave Lara the words she needed so that she could safely return to the only place that soothed her soul. While anxious about seeing Liam after so many years, Lara knew that her reappearance would be the easy part for Liam and his family to deal with. What she worried about was the other information that she’d held close to her heart.
When past collides with present, one soul finds hope for tomorrow, and the other mourns for things that can never be.
Thunder rumbled through the air as lightning streaked across the sky. The howl of the brisk wind couldn't mask the sounds of broken sobs and anguished pleas. With face turned to the sky and hands raised in supplication, the lone figure on Jones Knob gave into the suffocating fear and anger.
"Why now? Now that my life has begun to settle. Now that the running is over. Now that my heart has come home. Why now, God? Why now?"
The hollow words met the heavens and echoed back across the skies. Why now? Why now? Why now? But like a drought stricken land, there was no room for hope to blossom, because the ultimate request had been denied. He said no.