by Jackie South
Carol let out a suspicious-sounding “good” and left the table.
Kayla and a few older friends of hers walked up to Jessica’s table. The girls were all brunettes and wore what Jessica called ‘bad-ass’ clothing. Ripped jeans and black sweatshirts or muscle shirts. One of the girls –Jessica thought her name was Jovi after the rock star- placed a moldy piece of toast in front of her.
“I’m sorry,” Jessica said, looking up at the stern-faced Jovi. “Carol can’t see as well as she used to. I’ll have a talk with her.”
“If you’re understaffed,“ Kayla began, “we can do something.”
Jessica thought Kayla was the only decent girl who had a heart in the entire camp. She was so surprised that the teen was willing to do something for her. But Jessica wasn’t going to have girls do labor work. They were there to learn and discover themselves – not slave labor.
“That’s not your job,” Jessica said. Sighs and disappointing grunts came from the girls. “What is it?”
“We were hoping we could do kitchen stuff,” Jovi piped up. “Instead of taking those hikes every afternoon.”
“Too bad,” Jessica almost laughed, holding a smirk under control.
Despite her size, Jessica was proud to lead the girls all along the paths in the woods. That afternoon, Kayla along with half the camp followed Jessica on a trail up mountains and along the several creeks that surrounded the lake. Jessica warned the girls many times to stay on the path. When the sun got very hot, everyone removed their top shirts to sweat in tank tops.
“Who is that?” a girl in the back yelled.
Jessica looked in the direction everyone was staring to see a man, Trenton, standing with his arms crossed. He looked as if he was searching the woods for something.
“Jessica!” he yelled, waving at her.
Great, she thought, how am I supposed to explain this guy to the girls? A few teen voices ‘oooh-ed’ and whistled playfully. Jessica turned on her heel to give them stern look and demand that they stay in their place. She knew she had to go talk with the muscle-man up the hill, and she was embarrassed that she was a little out of breath once she reached him.
Trenton gave a short-lived smile and caressed Jessica’s cheek with his thumb. But she didn’t want the girls to think the man at camp was bad or involved with her, so she looked down at the ground. His loving attempts were secretly craved by her, but she couldn’t make herself stay in place for him. When he leaned in close to her lips, she took a step back.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“Is there something you need?” Jessica tried to ask in her most professional voice.
Trenton furrowed his eyebrows. “Somethin’ I do?”
Jessica looked back at the girls, who were all staring at Trenton and whispering in each others’ ears. “Do you want to start tomorrow?” Jessica continued to pressure. “We’ll have a group of girls come down to the stable tomorrow.”
He gave her a look that she recognized as frustration. She decided to add a quick good-bye and handshake, but he seemed uncomfortable with taking her hand.
He left and Kayla ran up to Jessica once the hike resumed. The two were walking far ahead of the other girls, so Jessica didn’t feel awkward when Kayla quietly asked, “He seemed mad at you.”
Nonetheless, Jessica had to ignore the teen’s comment and address the other girls. “That was your new ranch hand who will be in charge of the stable. You’ll meet him tomorrow.”
“I thought guys weren’t allowed on camp,” Jovi complained.
“Carol said it was fine, so it’s fine,” Jessica harshly snapped.
She noticed Kayla slinked away from her side after she almost yelled at the girls’ questions.
At dinner, Jessica’s worst dwellings followed her. Carol sat next to her at the table as usual, picking at the corn on her tray. She had a sparkle of distrust in her eyes.
“I know that Trenton came by here,” Carol snarled. “And I may not know a lot about being with a man but,” she stopped and lowered her voice, “I see you thinking about him. Too often.”
Jessica shook her head in agreement. “I know, I know. We need to be examples to the girls-“
“Not just that,” Carol interrupted. “We can’t show them that we’re weaker than they are. One girl here beat her parents, remember. We have to be strong.”
Though Jessica failed to see the connection between a scary teenager and her own affair with Trenton, she nodded and left the mess hall early.
That night, she tossed in bed, worrying about what would happen with her group at the stable. She knew she should’ve asked Trenton about his experiences with kids. But, of course, she wasn’t going to question a guy with such tight ass muscles and thick thighs. Those things didn’t matter. At least, at the time.
With the sun barely up, Jessica found she was up almost all night thinking about Trenton. Mostly she was thinking about their stable passion, and she admitted to herself that she wanted more of it. But didn’t want the passion to show in front of the girls.
Kayla’s voice boomed as she knocked on Jessica’s weak screen door. “Miss Jessica!”
Jessica jumped out of bed. Had she missed breakfast because she was mulling over her writhing body against Trenton’s? This wouldn’t fly with Carol.
Jessica opened the door and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Kayla nervously asked, “We missed you at breakfast today. Where were you?”
“I felt sick this morning,” she lied to Kayla. “We’ll go to the stable now, then.”
Trenton should know to be there this morning, Jessica pondered. And I hope he’s wearing tight jeans.
For her own role as the hopeful new co-director of the camp, Jessica was jolting herself out of daydreams. She needed to be professional. Her heart pounded as she approached the stable. Trenton was standing there with arms behind his back, stretching out his pecs that shapely formed through his red t-shirt. Good heavens.
There was a moment when Jessica’s eyes travelled down to his jeans when she pinched herself on the arm. She couldn’t get preoccupied. The only real goal was to get the girls on the horses and get the hour over with.
“It’ll take a half hour to teach the girls about the equipment and get ‘em on the horses,” Trenton announced.
“We don’t need to learn about horses,” spat Jovi from the back of the group.
“Hey!” Jessica roared. “Let him do his job. Some of the new girls need to know this stuff.”
Trenton nodded at Jessica and smiled. But his smile quickly faded away, as it always seemed to do. She figured he had to be nervous about standing and speaking in front of a bunch of people, especially catty, mean, and tough girls.
“I’m Trenton,” he began in the sexy voice that bellowed over the field behind them. “But I guess you’ll be calling me Mr. Saunder.”
So that’s his last name. What a unique one. And so sultry. Jessica found herself daydreaming again, and this time was about her possible last name. Saunder. Inside her gut, though, she hated herself for thinking so far ahead for a wish that looked impossible.
Mr. Saunder quickly got to the part in his obvious made-up lesson where he plopped the girls on the horse. He let the taller girls get on themselves. But it was entertaining for Jessica to watch his back and arm muscles flex as he lifted little Tammy – the youngest and smallest - on Freckle’s saddle. Jessica caught herself breathing heavily and with her mouth open as they stood there in the barn. She covered her mouth and walked outside into the sun to watch the first round of girls trot their horses around the fenced arena.
“You think I’m doing well so far?” Trenton asked, leaning close to Jessica’s ear.
“I’m just glad you’re here on time, I was vague about when our mornings started here.” She tried to be equally as quiet but also didn’t want the girls to suspect anything. So it was probably best that they could listen if the teens wanted to.
“I thought you were mad at me,” Trenton responded in a
lmost a puppy-like tone. It was as if he wanted something.
“Not mad.” Jessica kept up her professional act. But it was hard when he was standing so close to her with the oils of his body and a hint of some cologne, maybe, filtering through her nostrils.
“Good,” Trenton said more loudly. And though Jessica didn’t look at him and kept her eyes on the girls, she sensed him shift and stand straighter. Taller. “Because I wouldn’t want my girl back home to know that I worked with a horrible boss.”
Jessica’s nostrils flared with anger. He had a girlfriend back home? In the back of her mind, Jessica almost knew the hot night with Trenton was too good to be true. She watched him turn on his heel and go into the barn. He grabbed another saddle from the wall and put it on his shoulder. When he returned outside, he dropped the saddle and unbuttoned his shirt. Underneath was the same white tank Jessica recognized from their single hot pursuit. But why was he standing right in front of her? I get it. You’re hands off, she thought to herself. What was the point of telling her he had a girlfriend back home? Where exactly was ‘back home?’ Jessica surprised herself by asking these questions instead of focusing more on her feelings of betrayal.
It was difficult to talk herself out of falling for Trenton as he acted carefree and nurturing towards the girls. Even making the sourest teens laugh. The worst part of it all was that Jessica regretted hiring him and asking him for his help. She wasn’t sure if she cared about the camp or the camp’s business that badly. The feeling of sadness didn’t set in until after the girls’ session and Jessica was walking back up the trail towards the fire pit. Walking away from Trenton was the hardest thing to do when she really wanted to yell at him for leading her on and then making her feel awful about herself. Every time she thought back to the night in the barn, she calculated that Trenton was the one who had her body, and she never got the chance to really have his.
Jessica saw that Kayla clearly was concerned about her counselor when she asked Jessica, “Why aren’t we singing the camp song?”
The last mood Jessica was in was the mood to sing those silly camp songs about friendship and sticking it out through the rough times. No one was there for Jessica to confide in. Carol wasn’t her age and wouldn’t understand her feelings since Jessica was pretty sure Carol was asexual. And expressing her deep feelings to the girls wouldn’t be appropriate. She was all alone.
Chapter 4
In the middle of the night, Jessica woke up from a very real-seeming dream about Trenton beaming at her for longer than a few seconds as they sat on her cabin bed, caressing each other’s faces. She felt his soft wavy hair between her fingers. And he played with her side braid, whispering about how beautiful she was. Unfortunately, Jessica awoke late again for breakfast but at least made it to the mess hall to have some toast and sausage.
She stared at her link sausage, thinking about Trenton, naturally. It was a long piece of meat, but she knew it wouldn’t satisfy her needs of Trenton’s meat. Not that she was actually thinking about using sausage as a replacement for anything.
“You lookin’ at that food like it broke yer heart,” Carol said, gently nudging Jessica’s elbow.
“I got too much food,” was Jessica’s excuse.
“Now I know a broken heart when I see it, now.” Jessica put down her fork and pushed her tray aside to listen to a lecture she felt coming on from Carol. “You barely got any food there to eat and you’ve been late twice. Plus, you were actin’ funny once you got back from the barn.”
“Yes ma’am, I’m just-“
“You like that man Trenton,” Carol said. Jessica wished Carol had lowered her voice. “Don’t get that passion too hot, though, now.”
“You’re being silly,” Jessica replied. “He’s got a girl already.”
Carol pushed her own tray away from her. “He ain’t got a girl. If he does, and you thinking about him a lot, then he ain’t got a girl for long.”
Jessica presumed this was Carol’s way of calling Jessica a beautiful girl who could get any guy if she put her mind and soul into it. The only problem was that Jessica didn’t feel like fighting off another woman. She knew that wasn’t attractive in a lady anyhow.
“I don’t have the hots for any guy,” Jessica tried to say while sounding professionally focused. “He’s just here for the girls. Because I wanted the ranch shut down for a few more days.”
Carol made a snarky reply. “Mmmhhh hmmm.” Jessica didn’t care if Carol didn’t believe her yet. In time, Jessica was hoping she, herself, would believe that Trenton was only at the camp for business reasons.
“Well,” Carol huffed. “That Kayla told me all about it last time at dinner, so…”
The older woman trailed off in her mumbling as if she wanted Jessica to spill the details. Instead, Jessica denied everything and made a point to talk to Kayla later in the day about the bad effects of gossiping. She was a bit angry at Kayla for spreading rumors that could get Jessica fired.
“And she’s got a big bruise on her leg,” Carol said. This part Jessica heard clearly. “One of the girls told me they saw it in the showers and-“
“Who has a bruise?” Jessica asked.
“Kayla. Haven’t noticed she was limpin’?” Carol said. “I asked her what was wrong but… nothing. She’d probably talk to you about it.”
Jessica was distracted for a moment from the problems Trenton caused her in her head. She tried to track down Kayla in the mess hall only to find the teen walking out of the bathroom after everyone was done eating. Jessica pulled Kayla aside next to the trashcans. Sure enough, Kayla was walking more on her left leg.
“Why are you limping?” Jessica whispered to the girl.
“I just tripped on a branch,” Kayla said, staring at the ground.
Jessica couldn’t believe the stress she had to go under with this teen on top of Trenton’s shadiness. She knew that Kayla was hiding something. “Will you be able to go riding later this afternoon with all of us?” Kayla just nodded to Jessica’s question and stumbled outside, holding onto the doorway and ramp. The leg bruise seemed worse than Jessica had first imagined.
Later, after the daily flag flying ceremony, Jessica rounded her group of girls to head to the stable. It was a warmer day. Almost ninety-seven degrees. So Jessica revealed her undershirt and didn’t shy away from wearing the only cloth shorts she owned, which hugged her curves and belly in a way that didn’t make her feel self-conscious.
Trenton wasn’t anywhere around the stable outside, so Jessica searched inside the barn and found him reorganizing the horse saddles and horseshoes on the wall. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and had several large bottles of water next to where his white undershirt lay on some hay on the floor. His jeans’ belt didn’t hold up his pants; the tan and somewhat dirty crevice of Trenton’s hip and crotch. Jessica felt her nipples protrude embarrassingly through the thin bra and shirt. Some girls stopped behind Jessica and stared at Trenton, too.
Jessica felt the need to interrupt Trenton after he poured half of a water bottle over his hair. She watched the water give him goose bumps on the top of his forearms as it blended in with the sweat that ran down his back and through the niches of muscles. She coughed to get his attention even though she could’ve watched him all day rubbing water off his dark hair.
“Sorry about that,” Trenton said, approaching Jessica and the girls without any care of putting his shirt on.
He assigned a different horse to each girl and gave directions to walk the horse before mounting it on their own. Kayla looked like she was struggling with simply walking the horse.
“Kayla!” Jessica called. Kayla slowly noticed and turned her horse around to walk towards the counselor and ranch hand.
Jovi, who was waiting her turn to ride, quickly popped in front of Jessica and whispered, “Kayla didn’t know what she was doing last time and got kicked in the shin with Butter.” Butter, Jessica knew, was one of the feistier horses but couldn’t remember hearing any screaming or mishap w
ith the girls the last time she brought them to horse hour.
Kayla stared at Jovi when she limped with her horse over to Jessica. Trenton returned a cough that bothered Jessica because she sensed his tone was that of disappointment or harsh judgment. But she believed that she took good care of her campers.
“My leg does hurt,” Kayla admitted, staring at the ground.
“Jovi tells me you got kicked in the shin by Butter last time,” Jessica said in a low voice. She knew that Trenton, standing next to her, could hear the conversation.
“She said if I told anyone,” Kayla began, “they’d fight me.”
“Who said?” Jessica questioned. “Jovi? Don’t worry about her. If you are hurt, you need to tell someone.”
Ironic. Jessica wondered why she couldn’t take her own advice and confront Trenton about his hurtful attitude lately. Surprisingly, Trenton leaned over a little to address Kayla.
“If you want to hand off your horse to one of the girls,” Trenton said, “then just say so.”
Kayla nodded in agreement and handed the reigns to Trenton. Jessica purposefully watched his muscular hand grip the reigns tightly, reimagining him squeeze her bottom and thighs.
Jovi grabbed the reigns away from Trenton and said, “Maybe if you two weren’t so involved with each other, you woulda seen it happen.”
“Hey!” was Jessica’s instinctive response to such a rude comment. But Trenton waved Jessica aside, so she backed away into the barn, thinking.
She stared back at Trenton putting a finger in front of Jovi’s upturned nose. Jessica didn’t hear what he was saying, though. She was filled with regret and tried to think about the day before. Was she so enveloped with the man when they had their more-than-inconvenient conversation?
“Don’t talk to her that way, missy,” Jessica heard Trenton tell Jovi.
Jovi, huffed and walked away as if she was defeated. It was an attractive asset to have Trenton in the position of power over the tough and know-it-all teens. Jessica partly blamed herself for not keeping an eye out on the girls. She knew Trenton would cause her trouble and there it was. It could cost Jessica her job. If Carol were to find out…