Impossible To Resist (BWWM Romance Book 1)

by Lacey Legend

  His mouth descended to the swell of her breasts and he kissed at them hungrily, his mouth moving the material of her bikini top aside until he had captured her dark nipple in between his lips and teeth and was sucking at it, rolling the tip of his tongue over it while she arched her back and rode herself against him harder.

  Connor’s hands slid beneath her bikini bottoms at the waist, and he slowly moved them over the round flesh of her ass as he pulled her tight against his groin. Everything in him was lost in her, and there was nothing in the universe but her, until he let her nipple go, running his hot tongue over it again and again, kissing and pulling at it, and then he looked up into her face and everything in him stopped.

  She looked down at him, hungry for him, aching to feel him deep inside of her, but when their eyes met, he gasped and a tidal wave of guilt washed over him and bound him tightly. He pushed her away from him suddenly, and she stared at him with wide eyes, full of confusion.

  “What… What is it? Did I hurt you somehow?” she asked sadly, shaking her head and reaching her hands to him.

  He drew in a deep breath and turned away from her for a moment, his hands pushing hers gently away. “No. You didn’t hurt me. I was hurting you. I was hurting us, and failing in the biggest possible way; letting you down.” He felt wretched for what he had allowed himself to do.

  She shook her head again at him and tried to get close to him again. “You aren’t hurting me or us, Connor, I want this with you!” she said in an anxious voice as her eyes searched his downward turned face. “Please… don’t stop. Don’t push me away. I want you… I want you so much…” she said softly, reaching her hands under the water and sliding them up his thighs toward his groin. “Connor… we both want this.”

  He shook his head and closing his hands around her forearms, gently pushed her away again. “NO! We can’t do this! It isn’t right! You are my student and I’m your teacher, and there’s nothing right about this at all! I have a duty to you, and allowing this to happen between us is failing that duty in the worst possible way!”

  His eyes met hers and he spoke seriously to her. “I want you more than you could imagine, but that doesn’t make it right, and that doesn’t mean that we should give in to our desires. We are not in a position to have a relationship like this! We have to maintain our roles. I cannot let you down this way! I won’t!” he insisted, pushing himself up to his feet.

  She felt hot tears sting her eyes and she looked away from him, reaching her hand over to the material of her bikini top and pulling it to cover her exposed breast. He sighed and reached for her, bringing her to her feet in front of him. He placed both of his hands on either side of her face and tilted it upward to him. She looked at him sadly and he saw a tear as it rolled down her sculpted cheek.

  Connor shook his head. “God, you are so beautiful, and I feel so lucky and flattered that of all the men you could have, you somehow decided that you want me, but you and I aren’t able to have each other that way. It’s my job to teach you and guide you, not to make love with you, no matter how much I want to.” He shook his head and looked up for a long moment, taking a deep breath. “God, I want to.” He sighed and then his eyes lowered to hers again.

  “You deserve to be in a loving relationship with a young man closer to your age who isn’t in any kind of position of authority over you. An equal. Someone who doesn’t have a responsibility to you the way that I do. Please understand…” he whispered, begging her to see the rational perspective of their situation, rather than the emotional one.

  She sighed and pulled his hands from her face, nodding slightly and turning away from him. She knew what he meant, but it did nothing to dampen the fires that burned hotly inside the depths of her, the fires that made her ache for his touch, his kiss, his body to be inside of hers.

  He followed her out of the hot tub and they walked back to their room silently, each of them saddened and hungry for the other. They each took a turn rinsing off in the shower and putting their pajamas on, and neither of them said a word to the other as they went to bed with their backs to each other, both of them barely one breath away from rolling over and reaching for the other to make love.

  It was a long while before either one of them fell asleep, but they both finally did, and though neither of them had a restful sleep, both of them woke with a start as the phone rang in the morning.

  Connor rubbed his good eye and reached for the phone as she turned to look over her shoulder at him while he took the call.

  “Yes, this is Connor James. Hello, sir…. Yes, I did…. You do? .... Well, that would be wonderful! There are two of us, of course, is that a possibility? It is…. Well thank you so very much! We certainly appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity, and we will look forward to seeing you there, sir. Good morning to you as well.” He hung up the phone and turned to look at Catalina, who was watching him expectantly.

  “We just got two invitations to the banquet tonight,” he said with a smile, and she smiled back and leaned against the pillows.

  “That’s great! I’ll have to get my dress out and steam it.” Then she turned to look at him with regretful eyes. “Connor… I’m sorry about last night. I just… I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you to begin with. I started it, it was my fault, not yours, and I never should have --”

  He cut her off, raising his hand and shaking his head. “No apologies, okay? Please. It was both of us, it happened, we both let it happen, and we both took responsibility for it. We don’t worry about it, we go on. I’m just so sorry that I failed you, but I’m determined that it won’t happen again, so please, don’t worry or think about it, and we will go on and everything will be fine. Okay?” He looked at her hopefully.

  She nodded with a small smile. “Okay,” she answered simply, and then the two of them got out of bed and got ready for the last day of the event. They were both careful about giving each other space and respect as they readied to go, and both of them were caught in between wanting to give that respect, and wanting to give in to their heated desires and make love with one another. Both of them were concentrating on avoiding the electric heat between them at all costs.

  When they arrived at the event building, they were not surprised to see that there was twice as much security as there had been both previous days, and it seemed as though every person going in was aware of the seriousness of the situation and prepared to be on their best behavior. Catalina and Connor stayed close to one another and as the morning went on, she was able to work in a peaceful environment.

  All of the attendees behaved as she had expected that they would have on the first day of the event, and it made her work infinitely easier. But Connor still stayed very close to her all the while that she worked.

  The last day of the event, rather than having a midday break, went straight through for five hours and then the event ended on a positive note as the candidates all shook hands and left the stage and there were no uprisings in the audience, and no demonstrations outside of the building. It was as calm and peaceful as it could possibly have been.

  When Connor and Catalina walked out of the building, they were surprised to see that the snow, which had stopped falling earlier in the evening the day before, had begun to fall again, this time much thicker, faster, and heavier than the prior storm had deposited on Springfield.

  They looked at each other with worried glances and went back to the hotel. Getting the latest report on the weather told them that the city should expect up to six inches, which was not enough to cause any kind of traffic problem, or delay them from leaving the next morning. They were both relieved and hopeful that the report was accurate that time.

  Catalina laid down for a nap and Connor worked on his laptop, taking care of classes online while he was away. When the afternoon grew late, he readied himself for the banquet, and she woke up shortly after he had finished dressing. She pushed herself up from the bed and saw him standing before the desk in the room wearing his black tuxedo. She drew i
n a long, slow, silent breath and raised her eyebrows slightly.

  “Not to make things awkward, but you look incredible.” She looked at him with a shy smile. He turned toward her and his cheeks went a little pink.

  “Every man looks good in a tuxedo,” he told her with a slight chuckle. “The bathroom is all yours.”

  She nodded and took her dress and herself into the bathroom to get ready for their night out. A while later she emerged and when he turned to look at her, she took his breath away and he could not speak at all.

  She was wearing a strapless red gown with a sweetheart neckline that enhanced the upper curves of her breasts, while the satin material of the gown hugged her figure closely, snug against her narrow waist and full hips.

  It hung almost to the floor, showing the tips of her matching shoes, though there was a long slit that ran up the front of the gown to the middle of her thigh. Her hair was curled about her head like a dark halo, her makeup gave her face a beautiful healthy glow, and around her neck was a thin gold necklace that had once been her mother’s.

  She took a few steps toward Connor and he forced himself to take a breath as his eyes traveled slowly over her body until they reached her shy smile and her gray blue eyes.

  “How is this? Do you think it will be alright?” she asked in uncertainty.

  He nodded stiffly.

  “You are stunning. I think you’ll probably be the most beautiful woman at the entire banquet.”

  She laughed a little and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he walked toward her. He held out his arm and she slipped her hand through the crook of it. “Shall we go?” he asked with a smile.

  No matter how much he was drawn to her, no matter how much even the sight of her turned him on, no matter how much he wanted her, he knew that they would have a good time even just being friends that night. She seemed to understand that, and to feel the same way, and she gave him a wide smile as they walked down the hall of their hotel toward the banquet.

  Chapter4

  The banquet was being held in two separate ballrooms that had been opened up to create one large space, specifically to accommodate the massive number of guests attending. When Connor and Catalina arrived at the door, they found that their names had been added to the list by the friend of Connor’s who had gotten them invited to the event, and they were given their table and seat numbers.

  As they walked through the gracious room, through the rich and luxurious décor, she looked around and felt slightly out of place, and it made her lean a little closer to Connor, who loved that she sought comfort from him, but was intent on keeping their bond platonic.

  He leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Are you nervous?”

  She nodded subtly and looked at him, biting her lower lip slightly which made him desperately want to do the same to her. “I’m a little nervous, aren’t you?” she asked honestly.

  He shook his head. “No, I’ve been to several of these kinds of things before, and this one is no different. It’s just a bunch of wealthy people trying to push their own agendas and add names and faces and money to their own political stances. I’m just here for the food and the event. Just like you.” He nodded down at the camera on her shoulder.

  She smiled and laughed then and nodded. “So look at it like a job?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. He nodded and gave her a wink and she felt the butterflies stirring inside of her, though she tried to keep them down.

  They took their seats at the table they had been assigned to, and they were both glad to see that it was in a perfect location for her to photograph the speakers that would be addressing the crowd throughout the night.

  Dinner was served, and it was undeniably the most exquisite meal she had ever seen or eaten. She felt like she was in some kind of living dream, sitting at such a fine table, beside such a gorgeous man who was completely enraptured by her, in a room where a live orchestra was playing off to one side, and where she was working at her dream job. None of it actually seemed that real to her, but she enjoyed every single moment of it all the same.

  When they had eaten their fill and indulged in a few glasses of champagne each, he looked at her, as he had been doing all night, trying to make himself remember all of the reasons he had given her why they should remain platonic, and he threw just a little caution to the wind and asked her to dance. She grinned at him and nodded, and he took her by the hand and walked her toward the dance floor where the live orchestra was performing excellent renditions of American Songbook classics.

  As they stepped onto the dance floor, he slid his arm around her waist and pulled her toward him just a little, taking her hand into his and turning her slowly around the dance floor as the orchestra played, ‘The Way You Look Tonight’.

  Connor smiled down at her and shook his head a little. She gave him a grin back and tipped her chin up toward him.

  “What?” she asked curiously, wondering what he was thinking.

  “This song… it couldn’t be more perfect. No matter what happens with us, I’m never going to forget the way that you look tonight,” he told her softly, his eyes captured by her gaze. She smiled back at him and shook her head.

  “I’m never going to forget the way that you look tonight either. Very James Bond. Very handsome, bordering on strikingly beautiful.” She gazed up at him through her thick eyelashes.

  He lowered his brow and gave her a funny look. “Men aren’t beautiful, are they?”

  She raised one of her brows to counter him, smiled and leaned close to him, sliding her hand along the top of his shoulder toward his neck. “You are,” she told him quietly, and he caught his breath and turned his head away from her slightly.

  They had been able to keep up most of the pretenses of a platonic relationship all throughout the day until that point, and it was then that all of the champagne they had indulged in during their dinner feast began to make them light headed and warm.

  The music continued and they swayed together, closer and closer as the songs wrapped them in romantic strings of light and hints of romantic love. Catalina had finally gotten so close to him during their dancing that his mouth was almost against her cheek, and in his champagne-induced bliss, he told himself that one kiss on her cheek was not going to do any damage, or cause any problems, and that if she didn’t mind it, it was simply a show of light affection toward her.

  He turned his head slightly, his warm breath on her skin, and he pressed his lips softly against her cheek. She closed her eyes and let the feel of his gentle kiss sweep through her, carrying her on romantic wings as she swayed in his arms, and it was the most natural thing in the world when she turned her face slightly toward his and kissed his cheek in return, making him hold his breath as the feel of her lips on his skin sent a wave of warmth through him.

  A moment later, they had each hesitated as long as they could before giving in to one another and turning their faces toward each other just enough that their lips brushed lightly, touching only part-way before they turned fully to one another and he covered her mouth with his, kissing her tenderly and sweetly as he stopped his dance with her and held her there on the floor. Everything in her still felt as if it was dancing and twirling all through her, making her rise up off the ground, and she held herself to him a little more tightly.

  He held her closer, and parted her lips with his, tasting her tongue before teasing her a little with the tip of his and then deepening their kiss. It was a long, slow, sensual kiss and they savored each other before they parted from one another, their eyes locking on each other as they tried to catch their breath.

  He blinked a few times as if he was trying to remember something, something very important, and then as her eyes grew sad, he let his arms go loose around her and he stepped back a little, shaking his head.

  “I… I did it again. I’m so sorry. I just… you’re so breathtaking tonight… I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.” He looked at her with pangs of regret and downcast eyes. She reached for his hand
and held it tightly in hers, looking directly at him.

  “There is nothing at all to be sorry for. You should not be apologizing to me. We are having a wonderful fun time and we kissed. That’s all. I kissed you just as much as you kissed me. There is no fault. There is no wrong…. It was just a kiss, Connor.”

  He sighed and looked away from her.

  Catalina smiled at him and tugged at his hand. “Come on, let’s get some more champagne.” He readily agreed, thinking that it would ease the need that was rapidly growing in him for her.

  More than a bottle of champagne was shared between them before they decided to call it a night and head out of the banquet hall after spending at least an hour talking to several of the politicians in the room. They were ready to leave and get some fresh air.

  When they got to their room, he let go of her hand and walked to the desk that faced the window. It was snowing so heavily outside that he couldn’t see further than two feet.