by JA Low
“If you must know, it was nice seeing him again.” Be honest with the girls, Stell, but don’t give them anything else.
“It was nice seeing him again?” Chloe raises her voice, repeating my words back to me. Her brows pull together with a perplexed look on her face.
“What do you want me to say?” Throwing my hands up in the air, I’m getting a little frustrated by the conversation.
Everyone stares at me, my reaction pulling surprised looks on all their faces.
“I think maybe we all need a nice glass of champagne,” Lenna tells everyone, breaking the tension between us all. I let out an unsteady breath and follow the girls into the kitchen.
Chloe’s hand reaches out and stops me from hobbling any further.
“Hey, I’m sorry about pushing the whole EJ thing.” She smiles. “I was worried about how you felt with him just turning up like he did.”
“EJ and I have a bit of work to do to sort out our feelings for one another.”
That’s not really a lie. We do. Just because we finally took our feelings to the next level doesn’t mean we are walking off into the sunset together.
“And you still have feelings for him?” Chloe asks, unable to control her curiosity.
“Yes,” I tell her honestly. “There’s a lot to unpack, and…” looking up at her, “… I don’t want him to break my heart.”
Chloe’s face softens, and she pulls me into a hug. “I don’t think he will,” Chloe states. “He’s been a mess since you’ve left.” She certainly has my attention now. “He and Andy have been hanging out. Both of them are miserable together.”
“Have you spoken to Emma?” I ask, changing the subject.
“On and off. She’s a bit of a mess, but I think being home with her sister has helped.”
That’s good—I hope she comes back to Anderson soon.
“Also, being in the South of France would soothe anyone’s soul.” Chloe grins.
We eventually all settle in the living room with some food and a couple of bottles of champagne. We sit and chat about life, work, and general gossip. It’s nice. I feel relaxed, but that could be the champagne kicking in.
Chloe fills us in on the wedding preparations, as she’s getting married at the end of the year at their home in Connecticut. The place is gorgeous—it looks like a wedding venue anyway. My leg better be better by then so I can wear some fancy heels.
Lenna talks about mom life and how exhausted she is with Jagger, that it’s hard, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. She then curses us all for not having kids with her so we could hang out all day together.
Chloe tells her that she will be trying to get knocked up once she and Noah are married.
Yay. More babies.
My mind wanders. Where will I be when they get married? Then when they have kids? I wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future and see if there is a happily ever after for EJ and me so I can get rid of this anxiety about taking a leap of faith with him. I wish I knew it would work out, and then I could relax a little.
My mind wanders again, thinking about today. Thinking about what happened between us, and in all honesty, it feels like a dream.
He chose to take things further instead of running away, the little voice inside me tells me.
He took things to the next level. This is true.
He’s male, and most men are up for sex, another little voice chirps in—especially someone like EJ. But Chloe told me he’s been miserable since I’ve been away.
Shaking my head, I need to stop overthinking everything to do with EJ. I got out of my head today and look at what happened when I went with the flow. Amazing orgasms.
No one has a crystal ball.
No one can predict the future.
But if EJ is willing to take a chance on pursuing me, he’s ready to deal with the wrath of his friends and family if things ever go south, why can’t I?
“Stella. Earth to Stella,” Ariana calls my name. I’ve been so lost in my mind that I’ve spaced out of the conversation.
“Sorry. I think the champagne has gone to my head.”
The girls giggle at my statement.
“I was just telling the others that you got in touch with your family this week,” Ariana explains.
“We are so happy for you, Stell,” Lenna adds.
“It was good. Really good, actually. My brothers and sister want to come to visit me out here soon.”
My friends are excited for me. Their eyes all light up, and every one of them has a wide smile.
“Have you spoken to your dad?” Ariana asks quietly.
“Not yet, I’m scared. Just thinking about my dad… unfortunately, there’s still some leftover anger,” I tell her honestly.
“What happened?” Lenna asks innocently.
Chloe and Ariana look at each other with concern. They know I don’t like talking about it, but maybe I should. Lenna was a late addition to our group, so she wasn’t around when all the shit went down with my family.
“My mother passed away from cancer just after I graduated from college.” My chest tightens simply from thinking about that time. “She got to see me graduate, and that was an absolute blessing.” Tears begin to well in my eyes. “We own a large ranch out in Montana, and my entire family works on it, but it was never for me. I always felt like the odd one out in my family because of it. I hated growing up in a small town where everyone is knowing everyone’s business.”
“Bit like our friend group, then,” Chloe adds, which makes us all chuckle.
She’s right there—these girls are very much like the nosey Parkers in my town.
“I’d dreamed of leaving town my entire life. I had set my sights on New York. When Mom passed, I was conflicted. Home was where I felt the closest to her, and I didn’t want to lose that feeling.” Running my finger through the condensation on my glass, I sigh. “Mom’s best friend, Claire, she lost her husband to cancer three months before. Reg was like a second father to me. They both were surrogate parents. They had four kids, too, except three boys and one girl.”
My stomach is sinking at the realization that I cut my best friend, Hadley, out of my life, not only my family but also their family. Tears break through the walls and begin to stream down my face. I can see the concerned looks on my friends’ faces, but I shake their concerns away as I compose myself.
“Their daughter, Hadley, was my best friend. We even roomed at college together.” Sucking in a deep breath as panic begins to flow through my body at the realization of how far my grief went and how deep I let it change the course of my life. “We did everything together. We were inseparable, practically sisters.”
Talking about this makes me feel physically ill.
“The funeral and everything went by in a blur of grief and despair. My father was broken. Lost. Claire was over all the time helping him through it, just like he was when her husband died. My dad and Claire had known each other since high school. The four of them were an inseparable group from the stories they told of their younger days.” A smile falls across my face at the memories.
“Then, things changed between Dad and Claire. They started becoming closer and closer. Little touches here. A flirt there. Then a couple of months later, they called both sets of families in for dinner, and that’s when they told us they had fallen in love.” My lip quivers as I hold my emotions back.
“Claire moved in that day.” I look up at the surprised faces of my friends.
“Our families were happy for them, which confused me. They accepted their relationship.” The sense of betrayal still stings even after all these years. “And that’s the day I left my family behind and never looked back.”
The room is silent as my story sinks in.
“You haven’t seen them since?” Lenna asks quietly, and I nod my head. “How long has it been?”
“About six years,” I reply.
“Oh, Stell.” Chloe’s face falls. “No phone calls. Nothing?”
“The odd phon
e call for birthdays or texts, but physically, I haven’t been back since my mother’s death.”
“Oh, Stell.” Chloe rushes over and wraps her arms around me. “I had no idea how bad it was.” She hugs me tightly, and it is precisely what I need. “This is a good thing… you reaching out to them.” She squeezes me tightly. “And that they have missed you so much.”
“What about Hadley?” Lenna asks. “Do you keep in touch with her?”
I shake my head, and I realize how much that kills me that I cut her out of my life too.
“Are you going to?” Chloe asks.
“Yes, I have to make things right. This has gone on for too long. I can’t believe I’ve let my anger and grief control me for this long. I guess when I started my new life in New York, it made it easier to forget what was behind me. I was always pushing forward.”
“You and Logan are similar in that way,” Lenna adds, but I wouldn’t have said we had anything similar about us. “He felt immense guilt over his father’s death. He shut everything out.” Lenna gives me a sad smile. “And it sounds like you have shut everything out because of extreme grief. The sense of betrayal over your family siding with this new love relationship would have hurt you to the core. And I think that’s why you don’t want to give EJ a chance.”
Hang on! How is this now about EJ?
“He’s family. We’re your new family. And if he betrayed you, it would be just like your father betraying you all over again.”
There are a few home truths being spoken there.
“You saying I have Daddy issues?” Raising a brow in Lenna’s direction, she simply grins.
“Maybe. But I think you have trust issues because you believe your family betrayed you. And you’re supposed to trust family no matter what,” Lenna adds. “I’m not a professional or anything, though.” She holds up her hands.
“Motherhood has made you wiser.” Ariana chuckles.
“Maybe,” Lenna muses. “But I think your story is kind of similar to Logan and Noah’s.”
I’ve never thought about it, but I suppose she’s right.
“It took Logan a long time to work through his issues. His guilt. His grief to get to where he is today.” She gives me a warm smile. “Maybe this accident is the moment you needed to make you sit and think about what you want in the next phase of your life, and by the sounds of it, you want your family back.”
Lenna’s right I do want my family back.
35
EJ
I’m meeting the boys at their hotel down the road from Stella’s holiday home. They have a private villa set up on the beach for us to stay in.
“You made it,” Noah greets me at the door, shaking my hand, welcoming me inside.
“Thanks, bud.” I follow him down the hallway. We walk into the living room, and it looks like Toys “R” Us has vomited all over the floor with the sheer number of toys scattered across the carpet. Logan is lying on the floor with Jagger, who is giggling at a silly face Logan is pulling at him, and the sound is infectious. At that moment, I’m struck by what I can only assume women would call a biological clock.
My mind flashes forward a couple of years to me on the floor with my baby. The image is hitting me hard in the chest, almost winding me, but it’s the image that flashes next that blows me away. It’s Stella. She looks almost ethereal dressed in a flowing white dress that cradles her baby bump.
Shit.
“You all right?” Noah asks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Yeah.” Shaking off his concern, I continue with, “Just a lot on my mind.”
He nods in understanding and grabs me a beer as we take a seat in the living room while Logan stays on the floor.
“So, how did it go with Stella?” Logan asks in between blowing raspberries on Jagger’s little Buddha belly.
“Yeah, okay.” Taking a sip of my beer, hopefully disguising any signs of my true feelings, Logan and Noah look at each other and do that twin thing I fucking hate.
“Just okay?” Noah asks while twisting his beer in his hand.
“It went well. I think things are going to be okay.” Trying to be vague but also honest.
Noah frowns at me. “So, you talked about your feelings then?” he pushes.
“We did.”
“And?” Noah’s voice raises as he becomes frustrated with me.
“I don’t trust you, bastards.” I point my beer bottle at them. “You two are going to yap to your wives, and I’m not ready for them to know anything.”
Logan and Noah both pause and look at me with surprise.
“You will soon realize that you have no choice, buddy. They have special powers, and they know how to get shit out of you,” Noah teases. “So, if shit has happened, don’t tell us.” Logan nods his head in agreement. “Because I’m bound by unwritten law to tell my fiancée all gossip.” Noah shrugs.
“What about bro code?” I ask.
“Sorry, I can’t chance Chloe withholding sexual favors,” Noah adds.
“That’s disgusting, dickhead. Why would you say that? Especially to me.” Noah just shrugs his shoulders.
“So, Stella was happy to see you?” Logan asks from the floor.
“Not at first, but in the end, yes,” I tell him.
They both raise their beer bottles to me.
“Well, good luck.”
The night is spent shooting the shit, talking business, dealing with a fussy baby, and discussing our friend Anderson’s heartbreak.
Things have changed from my typical Friday nights.
Eventually, we call it a night, and I head back to my suite, waiting for Stella to text me. I look at the clock, and it’s late. My eyes are beginning to close after one too many beers. If she doesn’t call soon, I’m going to crash.
I must close my eyes for a little bit because my phone beeps waking me up. It takes me a couple of moments to gain my bearings. I look down at my glowing phone and see the message from Stella.
Stella: Coast is clear. I’ll be waiting by the pool on one of the daybeds.
EJ: See ya soon.
I contemplate running but screw that, so I decide to call an Uber instead. I’ll get there quicker because I quite simply can’t wait. I tell the driver to drop me out the front, and then I sneak through the gates and make my way through the darkness up the driveaway. I take the path that heads around to the beach, which brings me to the pool area. I can see the glow of Stella’s phone as she waits for me.
“Stella,” I call out into the darkness, not wanting to scare her.
She sits up and tries to work out what direction I’m coming from. I creep toward her under cover of darkness and pounce. She lets out a little squeal which I quickly cover her mouth with my hand.
We do not need the house to wake up to check out what that noise was.
“Hey.” I remove my hand from her mouth.
“You scared me.” She pouts, which makes me smile.
“Sorry,” I reply before launching myself at her as if I’m a starving man, and she’s my final feast.
Stella kisses me back, equally as starving.
I was worried that what happened earlier today was caused because of the situation I found her in. I needn’t have worried. The heat, chemistry, and butterflies that I felt today are all back.
“You’re going to have to be quiet,” I whisper to her in the darkness. “We don’t want to wake the girls.”
Stella nods her head in understanding.
My hands run down her body and take in the fact that she’s dressed in an oversized T-shirt. Easy access. My hand moves to her mouth and covers it because what I’m about to do will make her scream. I slide down her body, my teeth grazing her nipples as I do. Tiny moans come from her lips as I tease her.
The further I go, her legs fall open for me knowing exactly where I’m going. I wish I could be a little more adventurous with her, but Stella’s cast means only one position, but it’s a classic. I notice under the moonlight she’s put
on her white panties with the pink bow. The ones that turned me on immensely back home. Naughty little thing. My hand moves from her mouth as I need both hands for this.
“Do not make a noise, Stella,” I warn her again.
She nods her head.
Both hands begin to peel the white panties off and down her long, toned legs. I kiss her creamy thighs. Then I place her panties in my back pocket because I will be taking them home with me.
My hands open her thighs a little more as I move between her legs. I haven’t been able to taste Stella yet. There are so many things I want to do, and I haven’t had the chance. I bury my face between her legs, which makes her squeal, but she quickly grabs a pillow and throws it over her face.
My tongue swipes through her wet folds, and she tastes so sweet like watermelon sugar.
I lose myself between her legs.
Doing things I have longed to do.
I don’t think I have ever enjoyed going down on a woman so much. For me, it’s usually a means to an end.
I appreciate it, yes. But I’m a selfish prick and like to get to the main event. Tonight, however, I have all the time in the world, and I don’t want it to end.
Stella’s fingers dig into my scalp as one of my fingers find her sensitive bundle of nerves. Her back arches as I take her higher and higher until she’s unable to take it any longer and crashes over the edge. Thank goodness the pillow is covering her face. Otherwise, she would be screaming the house down.
I crawl up her body, wiping my face on her shirt as I go, pulling the pillow away from her face. She’s flushed and a little delirious. Stella looks up at me with her Bambi-like blue eyes and smiles slowly, and at that moment, I’m gone.
Breathless.
My heart thumps wildly in my chest.
My stomach twists.
I’m so fucking gone for this woman.
Our lips meet, and instead of the frantic kiss we had earlier, this one is slow, langued, both of us communicating exactly how we feel in the moment without a word. Her hand pushes the band of my sweatpants down. I’m commando. I mean, we all know the reason I’m here. Her hand wraps around my aching cock, and she gives it a couple of hard pumps. I could come at any moment simply from her touch.