Ruffles & Beaus

by Carina Adams

I tucked my face into the nape of her neck. “I have no idea.”

  Twenty-Five

  Cady

  “We are not going home,” Reid argued for the umpteenth time as Rome paced around the hotel room, phone pressed to his ear. “It’s the middle of the night.”

  I sighed and leaned back against the headboard of the king-size bed. The trip had gone off the rails hours before and I’d stopped hoping we’d get it back on track. I was mentally and physically exhausted and wanted nothing more than to nab a few hours of sleep.

  From his spot at the desk on the other side of our room, Reid caught my eye and offered me an apologetic smile. He was completely disheveled—vest and hat gone, the first few buttons of his shirt undone—and he’d run his hands through his hair so many times that chunks stuck up in every which way. It was his expression though, the worry and stress in his eyes, that made me want to hold him and assure him everything was going to be alright.

  “If I can’t get her to answer the fucking phone, we’re going home,” Roman snarled.

  When his call went unanswered yet again, Rome growled, tossed his phone onto the bottom of the bed and tipped his head from side-to-side in an attempt to crack his neck. I was impressed with his restraint. As infuriated as he was, I was surprised he hadn’t hurled it against the wall.

  He looked as stressed as Reid. At some point, he’d pulled the suspenders off his shoulders and they hung in loops over each thigh. He’d also taken off his dress shirt and tie and kicked off his shoes. If the circumstances had been different, I might have enjoyed the way he looked in only a tight white tee and form fitting jeans.

  I was too wound up to appreciate the view. The tension and stress in the room had put me on edge. I needed air, but since a walk outside wasn’t an option, I needed to find another way to get away from them for a few minutes.

  “I’m going to go check on Vi,” I told them as I pushed myself off the bed.

  They both snapped their heads in my direction and looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. It was almost comical.

  “The hell you are.”

  I ignored Roman as I slipped my flip flops on. I was still dressed, mainly because I hadn’t brought anything to wear to bed, but my shoes had disappeared into the closet the moment we’d gotten back. I slid my cell and Vi’s room card off the nightstand and headed for the door.

  Reid sighed and stepped in my path. “Hey,” his fingertips slid down my arm until they reached my hand, then he circled it with his own. “You stay here. I’ll go.”

  I tipped my head back and met his eyes, ready to snap out a reply. I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around his trim waist. I needed him to take five minutes and hold me, to black out the white-noise of my brain. He didn’t hesitate. His arms tightened around me and he pulled me as close as I could get, then leaned his head onto the top of mine.

  For those few seconds, all was right in the world.

  The shrill ring of Roman’s phone pulled me back to reality. He lunged for it. “About fucking time,” he muttered, then shut himself in the bathroom.

  Reid pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and backed away from me. Before I realized what he was doing, he’d slipped Vi’s card out of my fingers. “I’ll be right back.”

  I glared at the door long after he’d closed it. Then turned my angry eyes onto the bathroom. Every once in a while I heard a word or two, but couldn’t make out more. Frustrated, I crossed the room and fell onto the bed.

  I stared at the ceiling and thought about our night. I had so many questions and had wanted to corner Reid or Roman, maybe both, and demand answers. I couldn’t help them if I didn’t know all the facts.

  Violet came first, though. She’d had a lot to drink, more than I’d realized, and was utterly useless. She’d bounced from tearful apologies for drinking too much to unintelligible giggles about something none of us understood. Roman carried her to her room and we’d tucked her into bed.

  They hadn’t wanted to disturb her rest while they talked, and they didn’t want to leave me alone with her, so we’d all moved down the hall to the room Reid and I had planned to share. I’d tried to ask questions as soon as we were locked safely inside, but Roman had held up a finger and picked up his phone.

  Reid, on the other hand, had given my shoulder a gentle squeeze and promised we’d talk later. I didn’t know what his timeline for ‘later’ was, but I wasn’t going to let them put me off. There were too many unknowns, too many players involved, and too many moving parts. The entire situation was weird.

  China gave me the heebie-jeebies. There was something about him, a negative vibe, that made me want to get as far away from him as possible. The fact that he’d known who I was without being introduced sent prickles of unease down my spine.

  Deductive reasoning pointed to Liv. She’d been with him, she knew my secrets, and there had been a tension last night I didn’t understand. Things weren’t always what they seemed. Especially here.

  I didn’t know why or how she worked for that worm instead of Roman, but I knew without a doubt she hadn’t told him who I was. She’d gone out of her way to ignore me, act as if she’d never met me before. The shock on her face when he’d called me Ruffles, the way her eyes had darted between me and China in panic, and then the fear that settled on her features had been real.

  That left me at square one. Very few people knew I worked at Soiree and I trusted all of them. Someone in my life had betrayed my confidence and I needed to know who, but it didn’t make sense.

  Unless China had grasped at straws and made one hell of a guess.

  I sat up. It wasn’t out of the scope of possibility. In fact, if that was what he’d done, it was actually brilliant.

  If that’s all it had been, a shot in the dark to try to rattle his competition, he’d hit his mark. Roman’s immediate reaction, the way he’d flown into a rage, had spoken volumes.

  China had played them. I wanted to know everything about him, whether the boys wanted me to know or not. If he was a threat, I needed to know.

  I replayed the interaction in my mind, from the moment he’d stopped at the table to the last words he’d thrown my way. He’d misjudged the nature of my relationships with my bosses, but there’d been something else there, a warning I didn’t understand yet. I’d think he was a raving lunatic, and that’s probably how Roman would want me to see it, yet China been far too specific to be lying.

  A woman had come between them and then attempted suicide. Or succeeded. That was a harrowing thought.

  I wasn’t her though. I wasn’t going to love either one, never mind both of them. And I certainly wasn’t going to sleep with both of them. I mean, I’d kissed them both, yeah, but one had been an absolute accident, a mistake I regretted.

  Sex wasn’t even an option. Men like them didn’t sleep with—the thought came to an abrupt halt like a needle scratch on a record player. I was in a damn hotel room where I’d planned to sleep with Reid. I rolled my eyes.

  Yes, I fully intended to have lots of hot, sweaty, satisfying sex with him. Roman wasn’t part of that equation. The thought of sex with him, or even both of them, made me blush and I pressed my hands to my cheeks.

  As much as I wanted to ask them about the other woman, I didn’t know if I could. It felt like there was a line there, and once I crossed it, I’d never be able to go back. I wasn’t about to open my closet wide or reveal my secrets and I sure as hell didn’t plan to delve deep enough with either to talk about my greatest regrets. I didn’t want or expect them to, either.

  I just needed them to tell me something. To put my mind at ease. To explain all the bullshit that had happened lately.

  I wondered if I could pry information out of Livie. She might not have all the answers, but she knew more than I did. I hated that she’d left with China, that she could still be with him right then. I didn’t know how dangerous he might be or if she was safe because no one had told me anything.

  I grabbed my bag, desperate to find my phone. I
couldn’t wait anymore. I needed to call and check on her, just to make sure she was okay. I hesitated and stared at the iPhone in my lap.

  “Calling someone to come get you out of this insanity?”

  Startled, I glanced up. I hadn’t heard him come out of the bathroom, but there he was. He was watching me so intently it made me want to squirm.

  I shook my head with a sigh. “No. I’m worried about Liv.”

  With a nod, he walked across the room and leaned back against the edge of the desk, one foot propped over the other. “She’s fine.” Before I could demand to know how he knew, he held up his own phone. “That was her. She’s at her apartment. Shaken up, mad, but safe.”

  His words didn’t ease my fears, they bred new ones and my hand clutched at my chest. “She didn’t have time to get home already.” It was at least a three-hour drive back to her apartment. We’d left the club a little over an hour-and-a-half ago. She’d lied to him about being home, so she could have lied about being safe, too.

  Rome’s forehead wrinkled. “Her apartment in Manchester,” he spoke with caution, as if he had to tread lightly. “The one she stays at on the weekends.”

  “Oh.” It was all I could say.

  My hand dropped to my lap in a heavy thud. I’d been so engrossed in my own life I’d never thought to ask her where she stayed when she was working. She’d once told me her grandfather—the one I now knew didn’t exist—lived an hour outside Boston, but I’d never asked more. I was a shit friend.

  “Good.” Livie was okay.

  That was the only thing I knew, though. I had more questions than I did answer. I felt like I’d taken giant steps backward, to a time when I was always in the dark, a place where I didn’t have control over anything.

  Conflicting emotions hit me all at once and I didn’t know how to process any of them or what I should feel. My heart started to pound. I felt dizzy, like I’d just gotten off a carnival ride. I struggled to breath. Tears burned my eyes.

  Roman reacted instantly and was next to me before I realized he’d moved. He pulled me across his lap, closed his arms around my shoulders, and one hand held the back of my head while the other rubbed my arm.

  “Breathe,” he soothed. “Just breathe.”

  I couldn’t. Completely overwhelmed, I sobbed. He didn’t try to stop me, or tell me to get it together. He rocked me steadily while I soaked his shirt.

  It felt like an eternity before I was composed enough to sit back and wipe my face with my hands. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  He pinched my chin and forced me to look at him. “Adrenaline. Stress. Exhaustion. Take your pick. It’s been a weird fucking week.”

  “I don’t know what’s going on,” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wouldn’t budge. “You’re all on edge. It’s like you all know something I don’t and you don’t trust me enough to let me in.”

  He shook his head, as if he disagreed. I kept talking.

  “It’s not just this weekend. It’s everything. From the moment Livie introduced me to you, it’s been one secret after another. What am I missing?”

  His eyes tightened and he swallowed roughly. The slow shake of his head was the answer I didn’t want. He wasn’t going to tell me anything.

  “I hate being in the dark,” I admitted with a hiccup. His thumbs slid over my cheeks and wiped the tears away as they started to fall. I needed someone know why the situation was hitting me so hard. If I didn’t get it off my chest, I’d carry it around in silence forever.

  “My mom always kept things from me. It didn’t matter if it was something big, like the time she moved us in with one of her sleazy boyfriends while I was away on a field trip and left half my stuff behind, or something little, like the first time we spent the summer without electricity because she hadn’t paid the bill, she never told me anything. When I was little, I thought it was because she was protecting me, that she didn’t want me to worry. Then I realized that she didn’t tell me because she didn’t care if I knew or not. I wasn’t her priority. Stability and consistency weren’t her main concern. I spent sixteen years waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  His eyes never left mine, his face neutral. I knew he was listening because his thumbs never stopped their comforting caress.

  “Then she died.” I didn’t try to fight the tears. I’d hadn’t cried about it, because I’d pushed it away and refused to face it. “I didn’t know she’d stopped taking her medication. Or that her depression had gotten worse.” I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and prayed telling him wasn’t a mistake.

  “I screamed at her that morning, mad that she’d had the time and money to get her hair and nails done, but not get groceries. There was no food in the house and she’d sent my little brother to school all week with no money and no lunch. He was only ten.” I could still see the sadness and confusion on Hunter’s face. “When I realized what had happened, I lost it. I didn’t take time to see the big picture. To find out what was going on, I just reacted. I found her when I got home from school.”

  “That is not your fault,” he ground out, voice thick.

  I shook my head and avoided his eyes. “It’s not. She was sick and didn’t ask for help. But I knew how she was. She lied when the truth would do. And kept secrets from everyone, including herself.”

  “You are nothing like her.”

  My eyes jerked back to his, surprised. He’d seen my worry for what it was. No one else had ever done that.

  “I lie all the time now. I keep secrets. And I’m just as in the dark as I was ten years ago.”

  “No.” He tipped my head back and moved his own closer. “A lie is an intentional deception. A lie is told to make someone else hurt, to cause pain. White lies, one the other hand, are harmless untruths told to spare someone’s feelings. Sometimes, especially in our business, white lies and secrets are a professional hazard.

  “I don’t know why your mom kept things from you, but it sounds like maybe her truth was too terrifying for her to face so she created another. That’s self-preservation. But that’s not what you do. The secrets you keep are to protect the ones you love because you, crazy girl, would rather be in pain than hurt anyone you care about.”

  “You’ve known me all of two seconds,” I scoffed.

  He nodded. “Yeah, in those two seconds I discovered you are the biggest pain in my ass, always have a snarky come-back, and care about people with everything you have. You’re not your mom.” His thumb moved across the apple of my cheek once more.

  “Neither am I. I come from a family of politicians. It seems like secrets are a currency we’ve always exchanged. Everyone has something on someone else. It’s useful in this business, and most people don’t care.

  “You’re not most people, you’re my partner. I told you once that the most important thing between us is trust. I was serious. Let’s make a deal. We ask each other anything, any time, and we answer honestly. What do you say?”

  I stared at him, searching for any sign he might not be sincere. “No changing the topic or avoiding the question?”

  He shook he head. “No. Outright questions, brutally honest answers. But that also means if we don’t think we can handle the answer, we don’t ask the question.”

  I took a deep breath. I could do that. I nodded.

  “Starting tomorrow, there will be nothing but truth between us. I’ll have your back. You’ll have mine. I’ll trust you. And you’ll trust me.”

  I already did. That was the scary part. I dragged my teeth over my bottom lip. His eyes immediately dropped and followed the movement. In that moment, even though my eyes were red and puffy, and my face was covered in tears I felt a magnetic pull toward him, and the air filled with anticipation.

  I was positive he was going to kiss me and the air caught in my lungs as my heart hammered against my ribs. My eyes refused to move away from his lips, fascinated by the way his tongue touched the corners slightly and the way they parted a
s if in anticipation. I leaned forward.

  He leaned in, too. He didn’t kiss me, though, but pressed his lips into my temple, transferred me from his lap onto the bed, and backed away. “You should take a shower and get some sleep,” he gave me a half smile. “We have to be at the MacGregor’s bright and early.”

  When I walked out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, rubbing my wet hair with my towel, I was overjoyed to hear Reid’s voice. He and Rome were hunched over the desk, but he glanced up when he heard the door. His wide grin put me at ease.

  “Sorry that took so long,” he reached for me. “Violet was awake and not feeling well.”

  “Oh, no.” I tossed my towel onto the bed. “Should one of us stay with her? Is she okay?”

  I didn’t miss the pointed look he sent Rome.

  Roman cleared his throat. “I’m actually headed over now. She needs to sleep it off, but if she needs help, I’ll be there.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  His brows pinched together for a split second and he gave me a half smile. Then with a lift of his chin, he lapped his lips. “I don’t. After the night we’ve had, I would have insisted either Reid or I stay with her, and the other with you, so this works.”

  Honesty. That’s what he’d promised. And that’s what I’d gotten.

  The shower had washed away any evidence of my breakdown and relaxed me. It was easy to forget your problems when you were locked away in a small room. Yet as I stood there with the two of them—one who always put my mind at ease, and one who had promised truth—I felt more relieved and hopeful than I had in months.

  “I’ll leave my phone on in case you need one of us.”

  Roman’s lips lifted in one of his rare, genuine grins. “I appreciate that.” He pointed at the door but looked at Reid. “We’ll talk more in the morning. I’m gonna…,” he trailed off as he strode for the door.

  I didn’t watch him leave, too engrossed in the way Reid looked at me. “Night,” I called meekly after I heard the door open. I didn’t know if he heard me or not.