Amish Circle Letters II: The Second Circle of Letters

by Price, Sarah

  “Would you like to explain yourself, Lovina?” Miriam finally managed to ask.

  Lovina looked up, her eyes narrow and fierce. “I fail to see why that Englische woman still needs to come visiting,” she snapped.

  Miriam pursed her lips and studied the frail woman standing before her. Everyone knew that Lovina was suffering from her inability to bear children. Too many miscarriages had caused her more than her share of pain. Indeed, it was transferring into a loss of self-esteem and, apparently, that was extending to a lack of confidence in her marriage as well.

  “Eleanor Haile is a family friend,” Miriam stated, her voice flat and even. “Whatever your feelings may or may not be, I would ask that you’d behave like a true Christian in my home, Lovina. She is as welcomed in my house as you are.”

  Lovina pressed her lips together and moved toward the sofa, the very place that Eleanor had just vacated. She sat down and remained silent, her eyes blank and void of emotion as if she had shut down and disappeared within herself.

  Mary Ruth had watched all of this, a growing sense of dread in her heart. She so disliked what she had just seen that the feeling made her wish that Menno would show up at once. She wanted to see his blue eyes and his broad smile. She wanted to thank him for the letter that he had so painstakingly written. But, even more so, she wanted to return home with her husband and the kinner so that they could, once again, begin their lives as a family. Only this time, she vowed, it would be done properly.

  Mimi stood at the center of the kitchen, staring at the results of Steve’s efforts for the past week. She hadn’t seen him at all and, determined to put an end to the distance between them, she had taken the initiative to harness her daed’s horse and buggy and drive over to their future home.

  If Steve was surprised by her arrival at the farm, he didn’t show it. Instead, he greeted her with a smile and quickly brought her into the small house to show her how much work had been completed so far.

  Not much, by Mimi’s standards.

  “I…I don’t know what to say,” she managed to force out the words as she stared around the room. It was cold in the room, with only a small propane heater forcing out warm air. She clutched her black shawl around her shoulders as she assessed what had been accomplished. The flooring had been replaced already and she noticed that the new windows had been hung. The sheetrock had been erected and spackled but nothing was painted. More importantly, the cabinets had not been replaced and there was a hole in the kitchen area where the stove had been removed.

  “It’s coming along great, ja?”

  She turned to look at him, a frown on her face. He was beaming from ear to ear, proud of his work. Not wanting to argue with him, she merely nodded her head and avoided his eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t notice her disappointment. “How much longer?” she asked expectantly.

  “Week, maybe two, I reckon,” he said. “But, even better news is that Mary Ruth is to leave with Menno today.”

  At that, Mimi brightened. “So I will be able to stay, then?”

  Steve held up his hand. “Whoa, Mimi,” he laughed. “Let’s give Mother a few days to recuperate from having tended to Mary Ruth, ja?”

  The cloud returned to her face. “I don’t understand, Steve,” she started slowly, trying to keep her voice calm. “It’s almost as if you don’t want to be with me.”

  He crossed the room in three quick strides, taking her into his arms for a warm embrace. “Now Mimi,” he mumbled. “You know that’s not true. I want you happy, you know that.”

  “Then let me go get my things, Steve. I want to be living with my husband.” She hated the way that her voice sounded, so childlike and whiny. Taking a deep breath, she tried a different approach. She lifted her hand and touched his cheek, staring into his face and forcing a sweet smile, despite her impulse to cry out of frustration. “I can help you here, then, during the day. And also help your mamm. It won’t be a burden at all, ain’t so?”

  Steve’s expression changed as she touched him. Something softened in his face. “Ja vell…”

  “In fact,” Mimi continued, letting her caress move to his neck, “I can be a help to her, too. She doesn’t have Mary Ruth to help anymore and Anna…well, you can tell that she’s expecting.” She let her hand rest on his shoulder. “And then, at night, we’d be together. When you get up for milking, I can work alongside you. Many hands make light the work,” she added, a convincing expression on her face.

  Clearing his throat, Steve tried to maintain his composure. “I reckon you make a good point there,” he murmured, holding her tight in his arms. He leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers. “Reckon you could be a help,” he said softly into her ear. “Many hands do make for easier work.”

  Mimi relaxed in his arms and clung to him, shutting her eyes and saying a silent prayer that, this time, things would work out. She didn’t want to spend one more day apart from her husband. She wanted their life to begin, a life that had been too long in coming. “Ja,” she whispered back. “They sure do.”

  “Have you heard anything from Rachel, then?” Mary Ruth asked as she rested in the kitchen, crocheting a blanket that was stretched across her lap. She looked up at her mamm after she asked the question. “Haven’t seen her this week. Is Elijah doing well?”

  Miriam stood with her back to Lovina and Mary Ruth as she washed the dinner dishes. She had just finished rinsing the last plate and had set it aside to dry when her daughter asked her the question. Reaching for a hand towel, Miriam turned around and tilted her head, staring at both women. “Why, come to think of it,” she said. “No I haven’t. Reckon I might just ride out there later on today with Daed, especially if you are heading back to Menno’s.”

  “We could all stop in there,” Mary Ruth suggested.

  “Nee,” Miriam snapped. She pointed a stern finger at her daughter. “If you are insisting on going back to that farm,” she said, emphasizing the word that as if there was a bad taste in her mouth. “You are to rest, you hear?”

  “Ja, Mamm,” Mary Ruth said softly, bending her head back down to the blanket.

  Reaching for a larger towel, Miriam began drying the dishes. “Besides,” she added. “Those kinner might be too much for Rachel and Elijah if he isn’t doing well.”

  Lovina sat in the chair, her own head bent over a handkerchief that she was cross-stitching. Just a small purple butterfly in the lower corner but she seemed intent and concentrated. Indeed, she had been quiet all morning since the rebuke from her mother-in-law. But now, she lifted her head and glanced at Miriam. “He started his treatment?”

  Without turning away from the dishes, Miriam nodded her head, the small white heart-shaped prayer kapp on her head bobbing up and down slightly. “Ja, a few weeks back,” she said. “Heard that chemotherapy was making him quite sick.”

  “Cancer,” Lovina said with an edge to her voice. “Terrible, that.”

  “Indeed,” Mary Ruth agreed.

  A noise outside caused Miriam to look up and stare out the window. A plain gray-topped black buggy pulled into the driveway and stopped by the hitching rail near the barn. Her shoulders lifted and fell in a deep sigh. “Menno’s here,” she announced, not needing to turn to see her daughter suddenly perk up at the news. “Reckon he’ll visit a bit before you leave, ja?”

  Five minutes later, the door opened and the sound of loud boots could be heard stomping from inside the mudroom. Mary Ruth stared expectantly at the doorway, color on her cheeks as she waited for her husband to walk through it. Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were flushed with excitement. New beginnings, she thought with a smile on her lips.

  When he appeared in the doorway, he reached up and took off his hat, holding it in one hand as he ran his fingers through his loose curls with the other. He glanced around the room, nodding to Miriam and Lovina before focusing his attention on his wife. He crossed the room and stood before her, shuffling his feet a bit as he stared down at her as she sat on the sofa.

&nb
sp; “Fraa,” he said softly. “You are feeling well?”

  She nodded, a hint of a smile on her lips. “God’s love and blessings have made it so,” she said and, at her words, she noticed he lifted an eyebrow. Had he recognized the very words that he had written to her? Did he understand what she was saying? “And you, Menno? How are you and the kinner? I have missed everyone so much.”

  Menno caught his breath at her words and, glancing uncomfortably at Lovina, he returned his gaze to Mary Ruth. She knew that he was not used to such words of tenderness, certainly not in public. But she had wanted him to understand that she was going home to a family, a family that included a husband. Whatever had transpired before that had caused him to shut down and push her away needed to be over. She had prayed long and hard for God to soften Menno’s heart. She was convinced that her husband had found those Bible verses and realized that she loved him.

  “Vell, I…” Menno stumbled over his words. He cleared his throat and looked around the room again. With the greatest of discretion, as no one seemed to be paying any attention to them, although anyone in the room could certainly hear what was being said, he turned his attention back to Mary Ruth: “Ja, vell, I reckon you have been missed by the kinner, too,” he said and then, lowering his voice, he avoided her eyes as he added, “And your husband as well.”

  Her heart fluttered and she lifted her chin, feeling the heat cross her cheeks.

  He shifted his hat from hand to hand as he cleared his throat. “You have your bags packed, then?”

  Mary Ruth nodded her head, unable to speak. For some reason, she suddenly felt shy. She felt the way that she had on her wedding night when Menno had kissed her in the kitchen before everything had gone wrong. She wanted to cling to this feeling and hold it tight. There was a look in Menno’s eyes, a look of hope, that gave her tremendous faith that everything was going to be just fine after all.

  “I’ll go get them, I reckon,” he said and started toward the stairs. He paused and glanced over his shoulder. “Which room, Mary Ruth?”

  “I can go get it,” she said, starting to get up.

  Menno held out his hand, stopping her with the gesture. “You stay put,” he said gently. “Which room?”

  “Second door on the left,” she replied, surprised by the softness in his tone. She glanced at her mother who had stopped working and simply stood at the counter, staring out the window. Her mother’s disapproval was more than apparent. Clearly, she had expected Menno to stay, to visit for a while. Instead, it appeared that he intended to leave right away in order to return home.

  To Mary Ruth, however, that sounded like the most wunderbaar idea in the world. Smiling, she sank back into the sofa and said a silent prayer of gratitude to the Lord for having returned her husband to her.

  “Sure does look happy here,” Melvin said as he balanced on the bottom railing of the gate, staring into the stall at Butterscotch.

  Katie nodded her head. “Sure does,” she replied. She was standing inside the stall, grooming her pony. Using the currycomb, she brushed circles in the pony’s coat, lifting the dirt to the surface before removing it with the dandy brush. “I think she remembers me!”

  At this, Melvin laughed. “Why of course she does! Why would you think she’d forget?”

  With a shrug of her shoulders, Katie responded, “Don’t know. Been a few weeks. Sometimes they say ‘out of sight, out of mind’.”

  “Aw, I don’t think so at all,” Melvin countered. “I bet she missed you an awful lot, Katie.”

  Katie looked up from Butterscotch and tilted her head as she looked at Melvin. “You think?”

  “Sure do!” he said. Then, with a brief hesitation, he added, “I know I missed going to Miller’s with you.”

  His admission took Katie by surprise. She felt her cheeks grow warm and she turned her attention back to Butterscotch. For a few minutes, she focused on the pony, wondering how to respond to Melvin’s forwardness. She thought back to the notes that he had sent to her and, not for the first time, wondered where they had disappeared. She wanted to tell him that but wasn’t certain of how to say it. She was too afraid that he’d be embarrassed. And then, of course, there was the possibility that Melvin hadn’t sent those notes to her, after all.

  Regardless, despite having strong feelings for Melvin, she knew that she was much too young to consider a boyfriend. That was to be saved for teenage years. Being good friends was one thing, she told herself. Courting was another.

  “Well,” she finally said, breaking the awkward silence. “I’m sure glad that Butterscotch is finally here anyway.” She peeked at Melvin. “Bet you’ll be glad to have Mary Ruth back at home. That sure must have been scary!”

  Something changed in Melvin’s face. He averted his eyes and stared at the ground. The color drained from his face and she thought she saw tears in his eyes. He blinked rapidly, fighting them as Katie watched him, wondering what she might have said to upset him. Setting the currycomb on Butterscotch’s back, Katie walked over to the gate and reached out to touch Melvin’s arm.

  “What’s wrong? You thinking about your mamm?”

  He glanced at her but, just as quickly, looked away again. Sniffling, he shook his head. “It’s nothing,” he said. “Just got some dust in my eye.”

  Katie frowned, knowing that he wasn’t telling the truth.

  “I best get going,” Melvin said, avoiding her eyes. “Daed said we were coming to collect Mary Ruth then heading back home right quick.” He didn’t wait for Katie to say anything before he turned and hurried toward the buggy to wait for the rest of his family.

  Mimi and Steve arrived at the Hostetler house later that evening. With a broad smile, Mimi swept into the house and practically floated across the floor. It had turned into a wonderful day. She had helped Steve all afternoon, finding little moments of bliss in the work being done at the small house that would soon become her home. After they had finished with the milking, they had approached Steve’s parents about her moving into their home until the small house was ready. After all, Steve had mentioned, without Mary Ruth there, Mimi could help Miriam with chores as well as help Steve with the house.

  And so it had been decided that such an arrangement would work.

  “Tomorrow?” Mimi’s mother didn’t seem as enthusiastic about the idea. “That’s so soon, Mimi.”

  “Oh Mamm!”

  Steve exhaled, feeling uncomfortable in his mother-in-law’s kitchen. He didn’t like confrontation in the least and, given the slightest reluctance on Mimi’s mother’s part, he was willing to change his mind completely. Yet, one look at his wife’s face and Steve knew that it was something he could not do. “Ja vell,” he said, reaching a hand up to rub at his chin, which was covered with a fine layer of growth from his new beard. “Mimi has set her mind to not wait.”

  “I see that.”

  Mimi tossed her hands into the air and sank down onto the sofa against the back wall of the kitchen. “I don’t understand this!” she said, exasperated. “Why is this such a concern? That I’m not following tradition? I think it’s a silly tradition, to be perfectly honest.”

  “Mimi!”

  Shaking her head, Mimi stared at her mother. “Well it is! It’s not like we are young twenty year olds, Mamm. It’s senseless, this living apart.” She turned to look at Steve. “Don’t you agree, Steve?”

  He wasn’t certain how to respond. Until she had been so upset by the arrangement, he hadn’t given it much thought. It was just the way things were done. Yet, he never wanted to see her as despondent as she had been the previous weekend. If having her move into her parents’ home for a few weeks made her happy, then he was happy, too.

  “It will be right nice to have you helping out,” he finally said. “Mamm will appreciate the help as will I.”

  Mimi’s mother clicked her tongue and shook her head, disapproving the change in plans. “No sense trying to talk you out of it, I see,” she mumbled. “Strong headed child that you are.” />
  Mimi laughed and, playfully, rolled her eyes. “Oh Mamm!”

  “Just remember,” her mother warned, a stern expression on her face. “You asked for this. Instead of easing into marriage, you are taking this full storm, Mimi Fisher. No complaining afterwards, you hear?”

  Steve frowned, wondering what her mother meant. But he dared not ask. Instead, he tried to focus on the delight of his bride, as she gushed about her plans to fix up the small house after Steve had finished the repairs. She was animated and lively, back to her old self. Back to the Mimi that he had fallen in love with and married. That, he told himself, is the most important thing.

  As Menno pulled into the driveway, Mary Ruth stared at the burnt remains of the dairy. She gasped at the sight and reached out to touch Menno’s arm. Covering her mouth with her other hand, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the wreckage.

  “Menno!”

  He stopped the buggy in front of the house and, holding the reins in one hand, he patted her knee gently. “Don’t look at it,” he said, his voice low and caring. “I don’t want you distressed, Mary Ruth.”

  After helping her down from the buggy, Menno instructed the kinner to carry Mary Ruth’s two bags into the house while he unharnessed the horse and led it in the horse barn, a smaller that had survived the fire since it was separate from the dairy building. Mary Ruth stood on the porch, looking after him as he led the horse away. She saw him pause, just once, to glance over his shoulder at her and, with a slight smile, he motioned for her to get out of the cold.

  Once inside the house, Mary Ruth took a minute to stand at the center of the kitchen and looked around. Everything seemed neat and tidy. There was no indication that she hadn’t been there for a week. Indeed, she was impressed with how orderly everything had remained. No dishes in the sink. No papers on the table. No dirt on the floor.