“Congratulations to the two of you.” Then he turned to face Mom. “Looks like we have a wedding coming up soon.”
“Yep, looks that way.”
Wedding? I wasn’t convinced that we’d make it past this trauma, let alone a wedding. And wasn’t sure he’d want anything to do with me once he realized how much damage this could do to his career.
“I heard that, and I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Zack whispered in my ear.
I couldn’t help but laugh at his words. He was so in tune with me, and he wouldn’t let me get away with anything.
“Smart baby. That will save us a lot of trouble in the long run, but I do intend on showing you as often as necessary. I am not going anywhere.”
Then he brushed his lips against mine in the sweetest way while my family witnessed our exchange. I wanted to pull him into the kiss further, but he was right in keeping it short and sweet in front of everyone.
“Let’s look at what damage you’ve done to yourself, little sis.”
Justin sought Zack’s permission, and Zack nodded his approval.
Justin sat on the coffee table in front of us, taking my arm into his hand to remove the bandage. I hissed as the wet cloth was pealed back a layer at a time. How I’d never felt myself smacking my arm against whatever it was that caused the wound to bleed I didn’t know, but I did know the pain I was feeling now. Damn, it hurt.
When the final layer was removed and the wound was exposed, it looked as if I had indeed popped two stitches while we were hurrying to get back to the house. Zack was not all too happy with any of us, me especially, and his furrowed brows warned of his plan to let us know all about it.
“That’s it!”
He slowly and carefully removed me from his lap as Justin retrieved his bag from the car with the equipment necessary to stitch me back up. Pacing back and forth, waiting for his return, Zack looked as though the world was resting on his shoulders once again. I never wanted to do this to him, but he seemed to not care about that at the moment.
“I think we all need to take a step back and shelf this conversation until Katie is up to it. In the meantime, let’s make sure her wound is tended to and have some lunch. Nothing is that immediate that we can’t eat first.”
Had it already been several hours since we’d last ate? Jeez, I felt like all I did around this man was eat. Last night, this morning, and now here we were, eating again! What the hell? I laughed to myself, thinking how weird it must have been for Zack to have all of us surrounding his personal space. Just yesterday morning I’m sure he never would have imagined being invaded in such a way.
I watched as he gracefully hurried around the kitchen. It took me a moment to realize that this was relaxing to him. He wanted to help. He wanted to be included in my life. He wanted to be there for me, and in turn, for my family. Then it hit me all at once. He loved this because he loved me. What did he say again? Oh yeah, we are in this thing together. If this is his together, then I am in love with him as well.
Feeling my eyes on him as he prepared sandwiches for all of us, Zack lifted his head and met my eyes, smiling that shy smile I’d known for so long. That smile that was always meant just for me. How I never realized it until this moment I had no idea. I must have been blinded by my own demons to not realize the amazing man in front of me. Thank goodness he didn’t let me get away!
In my excitement, I stood up, but Justin wouldn’t have it as he pushed against my shoulder to keep me seated.
“Easy there, sis.” He just laughed. “Let me fix you up first.”
But it was too late. Zack had already seen that I was trying to get up, and he rushed to my side.
“You okay? What’s wrong?”
The concern on his face was for me, and I was no longer surprised by it. Now I just welcomed it with open arms.
“I just realized how much you love me, too.”
Justin just kept his head down as he worked on my arm, not wanting to interfere, but unable to help being caught literally in the middle of us.
“Damn, baby. I’m so glad you finally get it.”
He didn’t come close enough for me to get my hands on him, but he just told me everything with the look on his face and the love in his eyes.
“How are those sandwiches coming, Zack? I’m starving.”
Ever the savior, my mom dispelled the situation with just a few short words that drew us back to the here and now.
“Coming right up, Annie.”
With one last look of promises yet to come, Zack turned to finish the meal.
“I think he’s perfect for you, Katie.”
Securing the last of the tape onto the bandage, Justin tossed the supplies into his bag and took my hand in his.
“You really think so?”
Encouragement from my big brother was all I ever wanted, and to have him like the choice I made has me so happy that I could barely contain the tears once again threatening to fall. It seemed as if I cried all the time nowadays.
“I know so. He’s perfect for you, and you’re perfect for him.”
Zack and Justin had been friends for years, getting together to talk football every week in the winter, playing golf together most Sundays every summer. If I wasn’t mistaken, I believed they had become best friends in the years since we’d moved here.
“Thanks.”
It was the only answer I could muster up for this conversation. Justin knew how much his approval meant to me, and to have him so upfront and reassuring about my relationship went a long way.
Chapter Six
“There is no way in hell we are using her as bait. Over my dead body.”
Zack may have been stoic under pressure, but the idea of any harm coming to me grated on his last nerve.
“I wouldn’t be bait, per se.”
“Oh, really? What would you call it then?”
Poking the bear may not have been the wisest of ideas.
“You’ve got security on me around the clock. It would be more like a trap than bait.”
“Nope. Not happening. Don’t even think about it.”
“But Zack?”
“I said no. We’ll find another way to see if he’s here.”
“How?”
Shaking his head trying to keep his composure, Zack placed his head into his hands as he leaned against his desk at his downtown office.
“Katie…”
I’d come to learn all of Zack’s groans where I was concerned over the last few weeks. There was the “Oh, there’s my sexy Katie” groan, the “I’m so happy to see Katie” groan, and finally, the “I’m so frustrated by Katie” version. That one was definitely the one he was dishing out right now.
“No. That’s the end of it.”
“That’s it?!”
Now I was frustrated right along with him. Once we’d figured out that Randall knew where my family and I were, we’d figured that he had a plan of attack for one or all of us. What we hadn’t figured, was when this plan would happen. In the meantime, security had been placed on me, just like any girlfriend to the mayor would need. It was a ruse, of course, in some regards, since the extent of the security was more than required for an average politician.
Zack also hired additional security outside his usual allotment of the funding so as to keep all things lawful to the town and community. I was against this at first, with the rationale that Randall had known where I was this entire time and done nothing about it. Maybe he really was finished with me, and had moved on. That logic had seemed to hold until Zack pointed out that if Randall was indeed finished with me, then why would he have been so interested to hear about me at all? That sounded so logical that it was something my reasoning just couldn’t hold up against.
Son of a bitch!
“Yes, honey, that’s it. Security stays in place for however long we need it, for you and all your family. I won’t let anything happen to any of you, most of all the love of my life.”
Our relationship had progressed ov
er the last few weeks. Once I’d realized how long I’d been in love with Zack, and that we could explore our feelings freely, I dove in head-first, knowing he’d be right there right with me.
“You are the most stubborn man on the planet!”
“Just for you, baby.”
The corners of his mouth twisted up into the most gorgeous smile I’d ever seen. Okay, every smile he shared with me was the most gorgeous, so I supposed I was slightly biased.
“Fine. Security stays.”
There was disbelief in his expression as he narrowed his eyes at me.
“I mean it. I won’t be someone you need to worry about with all that’s going on.”
“Well, that won’t ease my mind entirely, baby, but I do appreciate your cooperation. I promise I’ll show you just how much tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah. Do you have some time after work?”
“I think I can make that happen, Mr. Collins.”
“I sure hope so, Ms. Shephard.”
We both stared each other down with our need to be closer, yet we were unable to close the distance in his office. I just couldn’t be that woman who had physical contact in such a public place. Even though it was as private as it got, it was not his home or my business. This was a government office that we both didn’t want to taint with our desire for one another.
“Tonight.”
“Around six?”
“Sounds good. See you then.”
***
It was hard to believe how the weeks had flown by. Zack and I were already considering moving in together. I was on the fence about it, since my last relationship caused so much hardship—for not just me, but for my entire family as well. Justin had been nothing but supportive, and so had my mom. Both of them encouraged me to do what I felt was right, and since this time Zack and I had known each other for years, things would not turn out the same as before. I tried to consider this, but the panic I felt had me still hesitating.
“I do want to move in with you,” I said.
But I was so scared. I didn’t mention this part to him. How could I? How could I tell him how terrified I was of something that should have been the beginning of everything? If I did tell him, what if he took it the wrong way and assumed that I was afraid of him? What would I do then? I could make excuses, but those would only last so long, especially considering how well he knew me. I felt completely isolated as I pondered his possible reactions. Knowing him the way I did, he probably had me figured out already, and I was worrying over nothing.
“What are you so afraid of? Me? Us? This?”
His inquisitive nature was already echoing my inner turmoil. Smiling to myself, I realized that this was much more than anything I had ever experienced in the past. Even with how new the relationship was, it felt as if we had known each other for way longer than three years. We had started out as friends, and us being together forever was something that I needed to get used to.
“You’ve seen me at my worst more than once at the end of the day, but you stick around no matter how horrible it is, and we’re still together. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“No! Yes. I don’t know!”
Frustration clouded my brain. I just didn’t know what the right thing was to do here anymore.
“This is not the place for this conversation.”
Flagging down our waiter for the check even though we only just ordered, Zack pulled money from his pocket and handed several bills over as soon as he made his way to our table.
“We’ve decided to eat in.”
With that, he took my hand and escorted me out the front door. My mind was only concerned with the repercussions of my indifference to his plans. I knew he wanted our life together under one room to start soon.
We made it just outside the door, out of earshot of any stragglers passing by. Since this was a small town, with little to do other than gossip about neighbors and friends, the mayor’s love life would definitely become front-page news if anything turned into something un tort.
“Please, stop.”
I saw the empathy written all over his face when he realized how much I was struggling from his hold on my hand.
“I’m sorry, Zack.”
For what, I wasn’t sure anymore. All I knew was the all-consuming fear; nothing else.
“What? Why are you sorry?”
His hand tightened on mine as I struggled to remove it, not wanting but needing to break the connection we shared.
“I’m sorry, I’m just so scared.”
“I hate this. I hate that he did this to you.”
“I’m sorry.”
At that he pulled me so hard that I landed against his chest. My face was pressed against his rather rock-hard pecs.
“Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one pushing you when you’re clearly not ready.”
It was an analysis that I wasn’t that comfortable with, mainly because it was an accurate one.
I looked up to see his eyes as they reflected the anguish I felt whenever we discussed living together. I’ve previously been used to coldness with Randall, but when Zack looked into my eyes, I felt nothing but warmth and understanding from him.
“I love you.”
How could I not? I loved him with every fiber of my being. I felt it down to my bones.
“Do you now?”
His bearing defined a man of power, but his eyes always betrayed him, at least in my opinion. I saw through the façade of political representation that defined his career. I knew the person behind the politician.
“I do. You know that, right?”
“Yes, I know that.”
Ah, there he was. The knowing look he gave me was one of wanting, needing me to be with him for all things. I saw it whenever we were together.
“Do you really know? I don’t want to push you.”
We seemed to be having this discussion a lot lately. He was usually upset with me and the fact that I couldn’t go any faster than I already had in our relationship.
“I just need some time.”
I didn’t know how much time it would take to feel ready to live with someone again. Zack was the man I had always wished for myself, and I didn’t want to do anything to lose him, but I just couldn’t seem to make my body not betray my inner turmoil. Moving in together was a huge step that last time changed the course of my entire life—and my family’s. Though I had survived, the damage haunted me in more ways than I cared to consider. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes this time around. I wanted us to be forever. Ugh, why couldn’t I just get it together long enough to get past this part and move in with him?
“I can see the gears turning in that head of yours. The steam coming from your ears alone is starting to cause panic on the streets around us.”
Chuckling, I was amazed to be laughing when I was so torn up inside. Only he could cause me to laugh at a time like this.
I just shook my head, eyeing him from the corner of my eye.
“You’re crazy. You know that, right?”
“Crazy about you, yes I am. Thank you very much. Now, enough of this worrying over something that can wait until another day. Where to now?”
“Let’s go back to your place. Pizza and a movie?”
“Sounds perfect. You sure my place works for you?”
Since we had started this discussion of moving in together, Zack often became nervous whenever we spent too much time at his place. I think he was worried I wouldn’t want to live there once I got to know the place better, which was insane, because his house was my dream home in every way possible, even down to the bathroom fixtures. It felt as though he had had me in mind when he built it.
“I love your home. You know that. I swear, sometimes I think you had me in mind when you built it. Everything I could wish for in a house, you have provided for me.”
He abruptly looked away from me as we made our way to the car, the guilt on his face undeniable.
I was blown away by his reaction. Had he had that house built just for me? For us?
He just kept walking, though, holding my hand tighter as we made our way down the street. Security usually picked him up at the door of the places he frequented, but with this being a date, he’d had the detail maintain a discreet distance so we could have some semblance of privacy.
Finally I just pulled at his hand to make him stop and look at me. The uncertainty in his expression had me concerned.
“Katie, I don’t want to freak you out any more than you already are, so why don’t we just leave this conversation for another time?”
As we entered the car, I nodded, wanting to know, but also not wanting to know. It was frustrating how much my mind and heart were in constant conflict, but I was resolved to just let it rest—for now.
“Another time, perhaps.”
Zack nodded back as we continued our journey to his place in silence.
I was troubled by the way he just stared into the darkness around us as the trees buzzed past.
“Zack…”
I didn’t know what to say that could possibly have made this night any better, but I wanted to salvage what I could before we were both are so uncomfortable that we just barely tolerated each other’s company.
“It’s okay, Katie.”
Then he brought my hand to his lips for a sweet kiss.
I wanted to smack myself for ruining everything. How could we come back from this? How could he even want us to continue?
Tears welled my eyes as he kept staring out the window. Our plans for the evening had been ruined once again by my insistence that we wait before moving in.
“Why don’t you just take me home?”
He whipped his head around to look at me.
“What?! No!”
My cheeks were now damp from all the tears I could no longer contain. Seeing how upset I was, Zack twisted in his seat, taking my head into his hands.
“Katie, no. It seems as if it’s my turn to apologize. I didn’t realize you’d get this upset.”
“How could I not? You’re just staring out the window, thinking. I’m so worried that you’re thinking that I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”
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