“You can’t sit around, and wait for the day, when she finally comes back to you.” Ben eventually starts, a frustrated sigh escaping his tight lips.
“If you have learned anything from me, and Sophie, you would know not to sit on your hands. You are wasting time, which is stupid, considering you want to be buried balls deep in that girl. Stop being a morbid bastard, and go fucking get her. You know she doesn’t want Sean, so stop being a dick.”
Laughing aloud, I accept the high five he is chasing. That ass-wipe is a crude fucker at the best of times, today, obviously being no exception.
“All right, enough. I get the message.” I throw out to no one in particular.
The three sitting across from me, really are like having brothers around. They annoy me at the best of times, but I love them. If anyone knows what I need, it’s these three. Time to stop acting like a douche, and make things right with Sheri.
“Just one thing, though,” I call out, halting them in their tracks.
Turning back with puzzled looks, Kyle answers for them all. “What?”
“For fuck’s sake, would you please do something about Sindy, she will not take no for an answer.”
Chuckling to themselves, they turn back around, heading out of my room.
“My pleasure,” Luke yells out when it all dies down. “I’ve been itching to get into that girl’s panties since we got back. I’d be happy to take one for the team.”
His response makes us laugh out loud, especially since we all know, that girl has no idea what she is in for with that dirty bastard. I hope she’s adventurous because Luke will be an experience she will never forget.
Feeling lighter than I have done in weeks, I follow the boys into the kitchen, where my mother is cooking up a storm. I am fucking grateful she is because, this morning, I find myself to be starving.
Chapter Seven
Sherlyn
“Don’t lecture me, Soph, I don’t want the lead. I am more than happy to stand behind you, like I do every other time, singing backup.” I tell an infuriating Sophie. She has been pestering me for the last hour to take the lead in our last Glee Club performance.
We are performing at our school basketball team’s last game of the season, on Saturday night. We have performed at the last game of the season for the past three years. It has always been our time to shine as a group, but now Sophie wants me to stand up and take the lead that night.
“This is it, Sheri, our last hoorah – so to speak. You need to do this, if for no one else, for yourself.” She begs of me.
“I know you are thinking about it. I can see the turmoil in your eyes.”
How the hell, do you see turmoil in someone’s eyes?
I do feel more confident, maybe I could.
“All right girlfriend, I will do it. If I screw it up, I am leaving anyway, so it won’t matter.”
Sophie’s high pitch squeal makes me laugh, as she jumps up, and down, doing her own little happy dance.
“What do you want to sing?” she yells at me, directing my attention back to her.
“Why are you yelling at me?” I ask. Her response makes me smile for a brief moment.
“I had to yell at you, you were probably daydreaming about Stephen again.”
Like I said, for a brief a moment, before reality sets in again. “He is not always on my mind, you know,” a lackluster response at best, but it is all I can manage.
“You and I both know that is bullshit. Man up, girlfriend.” She fires my way. “Go get that boy, before you lose your chance. We all know the two of you are meant to be together.”
Her frustration finally getting the better of her. “My brother is not the one for you, don’t let the one you really want slip through your fingers.”
All I can do is stare at her. We’ve spoken about Sean and my feelings toward him. That boy has me all tied up, I just cannot bring myself to act on it. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is a reaction to him wanting me, and boy does he put up quite a chase. Still sensing my hesitation, she continues.
“It’s been weeks, Sheri, and not once have you caved into Sean. He is persistent, I will give him that, but if you felt as strongly for him as he does for you, you would have acted on it already. He is not the one for you. Do not cross a line you can’t come back from.”
She is right, I know this, but how do I go about making things right.
After choosing my song for our big finale, we head home to finish packing. My choice was one that sums up how I am feeling. One based on my relationship – or lack of it, with Stephen. As for the packing, it’s a good thing I hadn’t completely unpacked from the last move. This has become a chore I have grown to despise. Sarah has pretty much cleared the whole apartment. The only exception being ours, and Sean’s rooms, which she has left to us. That task had a deadline, a deadline that ends tonight. Thankfully for me, and Soph, we are nearly done.
Stepping into the hallway to grab a drink from the kitchen, I am in a world of my own, plowing straight into Sean in the process. His strong arm grabs hold of mine to steady me, pulling me upright. Lately, he has been looking for any excuse to touch me. With each touch, my body betrays me, goose bumps spreading over me like a rash. I can’t deny how my body reacts to him, or how he notices it every time.
I know I have to stop this.
I can’t have him hoping for something that will never eventuate.
“Thank you, Sean, my head is not with it at the moment.”
His gaze is heated, there is a fire burning behind those eyes that beg to be quenched. Releasing his hold, he backs away.
“Don’t think anything of it Sheri, I will always be here to pick you up,” he replies.
There is a rawness to his voice suggesting so much more. Not wanting to but needing to avoid the inevitable, I turn away from him heading once more toward the kitchen.
We need to talk, but I just can’t do it right now.
When I turn back around, he is gone, disappearing back into his room. Sighing, I hate myself already.
Picking up my phone, after we finish packing our room, I notice a text from Stephen. It has been six weeks since I last heard anything from him, at all. The last contact we had was the letter he left for me.
Why now?
Why would he possibly choose now, to contact me?
Opening it, it reads,
Stephen: Hi Sherlyn, how have you been?
That’s it? That’s all he has to say? No, hey I am sorry for acting like a dick. I am sorry for causing you pain, and treating you like I did. Should I answer the same?
Me: Hey Stephen. I’m not going to get into a meaningless conversation with you. I have been miserable. Is that what you want to hear?
Harsh, I know, but what was he expecting? Imagine my surprise then, when my phone vibrates instantly.
Stephen: I have no words to express how sorry I am. I just know that I miss you, and I’m done waiting for you to come to me.
He misses me, well I wasn’t expecting that, or that he is done waiting for me to come to him. I think I am as bad as you are because I have been waiting for him to come to me.
Me: I am as bad as you are because I have been waiting for you to come to me. I miss you as well. I don’t want Sean! I want you. Life is not the same without you.
Stephen: I want you as well, I’m struggling without you. We need to fix this, when do you move?
I also wasn’t expecting that, to hear him say that we need to fix what we have. That has made me happier than I have been in weeks. It’s definitely what I want. No, let me rephrase that, he, is definitely whom I want.
Me: We want the same thing dream boy. We are flying out on Sunday. Sophie and I have our last Glee performance Saturday night. My life hasn’t been the same without you. Please don’t apologize, I should have been honest with you from the start.
Stephen: You don’t know how happy that text has just made me. We have both made mistakes, but none of that matters anymore. I will meet your flight.
I can’t wait to have you in my arms again.
Me: I can’t wait to see you. Sweet dreams Stephen x
Stephen: Sweet dreams, dream girl xx
‘What are you smiling at?” a voice from the hallway asks me.
Glancing up, Sean is leaning against the doorframe. Time to deal with the inevitable.
“Stephen has just been texting me. He is meeting me at the airport on Sunday.” I tell him, motioning for him to enter.
Sophie is busy helping her mom, so I can use this opportunity to clear the air.
“Why would he do that?” he asks me in return, sitting himself down across from me on Sophie’s bed.
The scowl on his face, and the harshness in his voice obvious. I sigh. “You know exactly why Sean.”
He is being difficult, and he knows it. Letting out his own frustrated sigh, he looks back up at me.
“I was hoping it would be me you chose Sheri. What I feel for you is suffocating me, and I was starting to think I may be in with a chance.”
Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that.
“I have feelings for you, Sean, they are just not as strong as the ones I have for Stephen. I’m sorry.”
The dejected look on his face is heartbreaking, but I need to make sure he understands that there will never be an, us.
“I love having you in my life, and I don’t want that to change, but I cannot be with you like that. I don’t want to hurt you, Sean.”
OMG, did that just come out of my mouth?
I never anticipated that I would ever be in a position, to have this kind of discussion with a guy. I always expected it to be me on the end of rejection. Wow, what a turnaround.
“It’s okay Sheri,” he finally says, grabbing one of my hands, engulfing it with his own. “I always knew that I didn’t stand a chance against Stephen. You really do belong together. I was kind of hoping I had a slim chance. As long as you are a part of my life I will be happy.”
Smiling, I place my other hand over our combined ones. “I will always be a part of your life, Sean, as you will be in mine. Nothing will change that.”
Pulling me toward him, he embraces me in an almighty hug. I allow him the time he needs, letting him break the contact. Once he has gone, I breathe a sigh of relief. I know he is hurting; I just hope it doesn’t change anything between us.
Lifting myself off the bed, I take in the view outside my window. Considering how close we are to the next block of apartments, it’s not a very appealing one. I reckon, if you stood on the fire escape, you could almost touch it. Leaning against the window, I let my forehead rest on the glass, closing my eyes and sighing.
How did my life get so complicated?
When I reopen them, I notice someone moving out of my eyeshot on the street below. A noise from behind, startles me, forcing me to turn around just as Sean re-enters the room.
“Jesus, Sean, you scared the living daylights out of me.” I scold, as I steady my breathing.
Quickly turning back around, whoever was outside now appears to be gone. Shaking my head, I turn back to watch as Sean stalks over to me, stopping when our bodies are inches apart. Staring into my eyes it’s as if he can see straight through me. Motioning me backward, he pins my wrists above my head, against the glass. As he leans in toward me, my breathing picks up again, my heart beating quicker. His scent surrounds me, intoxicating my senses.
“Is it wrong for me to want to fuck you into tomorrow, to bury myself so deep, until I cannot embed myself any further inside of you?” he asks, his voice soft, and seductive.
His breathing is as erratic as mine is, his chest heaving with each deep breath.
“This is what you bring out in me Sheri, a primal need I have never felt before. One that has me wanting to mark my territory, so that no one else will ever come near you again. I want you for myself.”
Releasing the breath I was holding, I have no words. I can do nothing more than stare at him. What am I supposed to say in response to that anyway? Moving slightly, he wedges his leg between mine, resting it against my thigh, letting me feel how hard he is beneath his clothing. Gasping, I push him away. Straightening I glare at him. Slowing my breaths to control my breathing, I move toward him. He has retreated, moving over to sit on his sister’s bed, burying his head in his hands.
Situating myself across from him once more, I grab his hands, forcing him to look at me.
“You can’t say things like that to me Sean, and not expect me to react. There was no doubt that was going to turn me on, but it’s not fair.” I admit, not being able to deny what he does to me.
“I admitted to feeling something for you, but it’s not strong enough to act upon. Please don’t make me do something that I will regret.”
There is guilt in his eyes, and possibly shame. This boy in front of me is hurting, and there is nothing I can do to fix it.
“I’m sorry, we can’t be what you want Sean. Tell me what I can do to help you?” His gaze is burning through me, and I know at that moment that nothing I can do is going to help him.
“You can’t help me Sheri; this is something I will have to deal with. Thank you, for just being you, Stephen doesn’t know how lucky he is. If he fucks up again, I won’t hesitate to move in on you. I can promise you that.”
Releasing my hands, he rises and leaves my room without another word.
Boy, oh boy, I can’t begin to explain the relief I’m feeling now that he has gone. If he had done that a couple of days prior, there would have been no way I could have resisted him. His timing was definitely off. He will never have any idea what he does to me, the desire his touch creates. How the hell did I go from having no one interested in me at all, to two fighting for my affection? Could this day get any stranger?
We never saw Sean for the rest of the evening, he feigned illness to avoid spending any time with us at dinner, but I knew better. He was avoiding me. Crawling into bed some time later, I notice a couple of missed texts from Stephen. He was certainly making up for lost time.
Stephen: I can’t wait to see you xx
Stephen: Memories of your body have me as stiff as a board. You have no idea how much I need you right now. I want to trace every inch of your body with my tongue. Sunday is too far away. ;)
After my episode with Sean earlier and now this from Stephen, I’m feeling what I can only describe as frustrated. I can understand what Sophie goes through now, with Ben living so far away. That girl is always frustrated and she is not afraid to tell you either. Ben’s dirtiness has rubbed off on her; her mind is permanently located in the gutter. I don’t know if she was like that before they met, but if so, she has to be worse now. Sarah wisely just ignores the fact that her daughter is having sex. I believe that if she doesn’t know, it doesn’t bother her. Thank God, she is not privy to some of the conversations I have had with her daughter. Ben would be firmly planted six feet under otherwise. Smiling at that fact, I send Stephen a reply…
Me: Hey boy! You know it’s not fair to say stuff like that when we are miles apart. You could always fly to me on Friday and head home with us on Sunday. It’s just a suggestion :)
What the…? Since when am I that bold? I think having the attention of both Sean and Stephen is making me a little more confident than I have been in the past. Tatum would be proud. I will have to message him later and tell him.
Stephen: That’s not a bad idea girlfriend! I may just do that.
I can’t believe what I am reading; surely, he doesn’t mean it the way I have taken it. It could just be a phrase. God, I hope not! The idea of being his girlfriend makes my stomach flutter. I definitely want that.
Me: I hope so, I really have missed you x. If not, I will see you at the airport. I need sleep, dream boy. I should go. Sweet dreams xx
I wanted to quiz him on his use of the word girlfriend, but I didn’t want to frighten him off. If that’s what he meant, I will find out eventually – I hope.
Stephen: Goodnight dream girl, and just to make something clear, I
want you as my girlfriend. I intentionally threw that in there, but you didn’t bite. You are constantly in my thoughts xx Talk to you tomorrow.
Oh man, the smile that covers my face must be huge. I don’t think I have ever felt this happy. I really cannot wait until Sunday now. The move to California is going to be one of new beginnings and happiness.
Chapter Eight
Stephen
“Seriously Dude, focus, you’re out of time fucker. Where the hell is your head at?” an annoyed Luke yells at me from behind his drum kit.
His drumsticks are twirling in front of him, as he throws his head back, feigning annoyance. We have been down in the basement at Ben’s for the past couple of hours, but my head isn’t in it. My thoughts keep drifting back to my texting with Sheri last night. I am still reeling at my admission that I want her as my girlfriend. I don’t know how she took that news, but it fucking threw me. Never have I wanted anything as much as I want that girl permanently in my life. I’m yet to talk to her today, and it is making me edgy.
Putting my guitar down, I turn back to him. “Sorry dude, my head is in Brooklyn.” He nods accordingly, understanding, and probably already aware of that fact.
“I’m calling it quits for tonight boys, I can’t concentrate.”
“Have you spoken to that girl of mine about Saturday night yet?” Ben asks me.
It is god damned funny watching his jaw crack, and his lips tighten at the mention of me texting Sophie. He is a possessive asshole, with major trust issues when it comes to her talking to anyone of the opposite sex.
“Yeah, last night dude. She is going to call me later. You really need to stop getting pissed when she talks to other guys.” I reply.
He snaps his head back toward me.
“You know you have nothing to worry about, especially where we are concerned. Just chill dude.”
His gaze softens as he slaps me on the back, walking past, nodding his head in agreeance.
Sins of the Father (California Dreaming Book 2) Page 9