The Black Mage: Apprentice

by Rachel E. Carter

  I groaned reluctantly and Darren spun the knife back in his hand, watching me with humor. "You put up a better fight than I expected."

  But not good enough.

  The two of us returned to our seats. Commander Chen nodded approvingly and then sent me to a regiment healer as the next pairing began.

  I glanced at the master. Byron was smirking.

  When we were finally dismissed I was the first to go. I spent the next four hours watching the tide rise and fall from the harbor, studying the way the frothy waves sprayed across the pier.

  Ella found me after awhile and sat down beside me, leaning her head against my shoulder with a sigh.

  Guilt reared its ugly head. "I am sorry I am such a bad friend," I told her.

  I felt rather than saw Ella smile. "I shouldn't pretend to understand, Ry." She paused. "I know you. If you are struggling this much with the decision it's because Darren means more to you than your brother and I realized."

  "I don't want to choose him. I know a future with him would never be what I want it to be." I felt a sudden urge to explain. I tried to shove it down and bury it but I couldn't. I had been silent for too long. I needed to tell someone. To acknowledge the truth that I was fighting so hard to deny. "When he kissed me, Ella, none of that mattered. I wish I could say it did… but I've never felt anything like that with Ian. Or anyone else..." I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. "I know the answer is simple but a part of me won't let Darren go."

  "Is that why you were trying so hard today to win the tourney? To run away from them both?" Her eyes were two pools of sparkling amber.

  "Yes," I admitted. "But it didn't do me any good." I laughed weakly. "Maybe I will get lucky. They both won their matches. Maybe one of them will rank first and I can pick the one that stays behind."

  Eventually, the evening bell rang and the two of us picked ourselves up off the ground. We made our way to the dining commons that were already packed with eager apprentices fighting over a list that was pinned to the door. Even the others from Restoration and Alchemy were interested.

  Everyone wanted to see who had placed first in today's competition.

  "Ry." My twin found me, making his way to the back of the crowd. His eyes were wide.

  My stomach fell. Did I place last? Maybe Master Byron would use the contest as another way to humiliate me. Rank me even lower than the second-years.

  "What did she get? Wait, what did I get?" Ella pressed on eagerly, unaware of my reaction.

  "You were tenth, Ella… Ry, you were-"

  My brother was interrupted by an angry shriek at the front of the room. "The lowborn placed second? This has to be a mistake!"

  The "lowborn?" There were only seven of us in Combat, but only one that Priscilla would ever call to her face.

  Darren arrived just as my brother and friend caught me falling limp with shock. I hadn't won. BUT. I. HAD. RANKED. SECOND. "Congratulations, Ryiah," he said smoothly, "You must have impressed the commander. You lost to me, of course." He grinned, white teeth flashing. "But there's even better news-"

  "W-what?" I was still too startled to take in his words.

  "Ryiah. I'm so proud of you!" Ian rushed forward to embrace me and then stepped back awkwardly. "Sorry," he said quickly, his face reddening. "I keep forgetting you need time to make your decision…"

  "She won't have much of it."

  Ian's eyes shot to the prince and I found my own doing the same. "What are you talking about?" His eyes narrowed.

  The non-heir gave an innocent wave of his hand. "One of the Combat mages dropped out from the mission so Commander Chen decided to have a second apprentice participate as well."

  "And who would that be?" Ian's arms were folded and his eyes flared angrily. "Ryiah?"

  Darren's smile didn't waiver.

  "You rigged this!" Ian spat.

  Darren raised a brow incredulously. "And how would I do that? How was I to know that Ryiah would perform so well?"

  No one said anything. But I knew what they were thinking. They were just too nice to say it aloud. I hadn't really ranked second. Darren must have told Byron to do it and then talked one of the regiment mages into withdrawing.

  The non-heir gave an exasperated sigh. "I didn't do anything."

  "But I bet Byron would," I said quietly. "I bet he would if you suggested it."

  The prince's eyes met mine, amused. "That is probably true," he conceded. Then, feigning a yawn he stepped away from our group in the direction of the barracks. "Well, I must get to packing, as fun as our little conversation has been." His eyes fell to me and the corner of his lip twitched. "Perhaps you should too, Ryiah… What was it I heard Commander Chen say? Oh yes, we should expect to be deployed for a month." Before any one of us could realize what he had said the prince was gone.

  "A month?" Alex repeated, dumbfounded. "A whole month?"

  Ella turned to me, eyes worried. "That's a long time, Ry."

  But I wasn't paying any attention. I was watching Ian who had ripped the paper he was clutching into a hundred tiny pieces with his fists balled white around them. His eyes were red but he said nothing. A moment later he turned and started toward the docks.

  My eyes followed him guiltily and Ella sighed. "Poor Ian."

  "You need to talk to him." Alex locked eyes with me. "You can't leave him like this."

  I stayed where I was, unwilling or unable to move, I wasn't sure. "I – I can't."

  "Ry," my twin said matter-of-factly, "you cannot leave Ian to spend a month wondering if you return his sentiment while you are at sea with Darren." He threw his hands up quickly in defense of my frown. "I know, I know - you want more time… But you need to make that decision now. Do not make him sit at home wondering if you are falling in love with someone else. You've already hurt Ian enough: tell the lad yes, or tell him no – but do it now. You owe Ian that courtesy... Even if you don't think you are ready."

  Ella pulled my brother aside. "Alex, it's not that simple for her."

  I placed a hand on my friend's wrist. "No, it's fine, Ella. He's right. You both are. I thought I could run away…" I took a deep breath. "But if Darren's traveling with me then Alex is right. I have to choose."

  "Who…?" Ella made herself stop before she could finish the question.

  My lungs were breaking, but I willed myself to ignore it.

  My brother pulled me in for a tight hug. "I know you'll do the right thing," he whispered. Then he brightened. "Just think, a month at sea on a secret mission. Imagine all the stories you'll be able to tell us when you return, Ry."

  I willed myself to smile and failed.

  "Do you want me to walk with you to the docks?" Ella offered hesitantly.

  I shook my head, straight red locks falling across my eyes. For what I was about to do next, I needed to be alone.

  ****

  "Ian."

  The curly haired fourth-year whirled around, hazel-green eyes meeting mine in frustration. He had been standing next to the docks, staring out at the ships with his hands shoved in his pockets.

  "It isn't fair - you going away with him," the fourth-year declared bitterly. "I know why you haven't made a decision, Ry. I'd be a fool not to see it." His eyes burned. "And now you'll be spending every day with Darren while he convinces you to choose him instead."

  "Ian." My chest tightened and the words that were so close died on my lips.

  "He's a prince," the fourth-year persisted, "and he's a better apprentice than me. How am I supposed to compete with that? You fell for him first and, I know, I knew that when I started courting you… but I kept telling myself that it didn't matter, that I would make you forget. But you never did… And, yes, I know you don't want me to say these things now…" He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "But, Ry, if you go away with him I know you won't be mine when you return."

  I couldn't speak; my lips were like ice and my tongue was suddenly too heavy to lift.

  Ian took a step closer, bridging the gap of space
between us. He took my hand in his and gently tilted my chin upward so that I was forced to meet his sober gaze.

  He's the right one. My whole body trembled.

  "Choose me, Ryiah," he said softly. "I know it's not fair-"

  You know there's only one name you can say.

  "-But I am asking you to anyway."

  The other has never – will never - be yours.

  I looked into Ian's hesitant green eyes and saw only dancing flame and dark smoldering garnet.

  I choked. "I choose you." Sharp, stabbing pains erupted inside my chest and I made myself smile. You love Ian, I screamed silently, your heart is not breaking – you do not love the prince.

  The fourth-year froze and his grip on me tightened. "Did-" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Ryiah, did you just-"

  You are only mourning the loss of desire.

  "I said I choose you, you simpleton." Then, before I could lose my nerve, I pulled him to me and kissed him swiftly on the mouth. Ian responded by gathering me even closer and then, laughing, picked me up – shunning my protests - and spun me around the shore. Several fishermen hooted loudly and when Ian finally set me down, grinning, my cheeks were flaming red from the catcalls of our audience nearby.

  "I should kill you for that," I told him weakly. But I was smiling.

  Ian grinned. "You can do whatever you like, Ryiah, but it won't stop me from doing it again." He lunged for me.

  Shrieking and laughing, I darted away only to have him catch up to me a moment later in front of the nearby stalls.

  "I love you, Ryiah of Demsh'aa," he said solemnly. And then he kissed me again.

  Neither of us noticed the tear slip down my face.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  "Ian," I chided, "you have to let me finish packing! Byron will have a fit if I am late."

  The fourth-year chuckled. "Maybe the grouch will let someone else go in your place." He bent down to kiss me again.

  "Ian!" I shoved him away playfully. "You know this is important."

  Ian gave a dramatic sigh and released me to my duties. "Fine. But if Darren makes one attempt…"

  "He won't," I said quickly. My heart stopped and I prayed that Ian wouldn't notice the way my hands had suddenly stilled. Darren had been absent the remainder of last evening. I hadn't been able to pull him aside and tell him my decision.

  I finished loading the last of my clean tunics into my pack and hauled the leather straps onto my shoulder. Ian wasn't allowed in the girl's barracks – even with the door open and Ella nearby– but the rest of our faction was eating and this was the only opportunity we would get to say goodbye.

  "Alright you two," Ella interrupted. "The morning bell is going to toll in exactly fifteen minutes. Ry, if you don't start heading down to the docks now you are going to be late and then you'll never be offered a position with the Port Langli regiment after you get your mage's robes." She grinned wickedly. "And you know how that would disappoint Priscilla."

  I started to snicker only to consider it in afterthought. Ella was right. The last thing I wanted was to give the commander a bad impression. Even if I had no desire to serve in Langli I did not want to burn any bridges. Especially since Byron would undoubtedly be ranking his least favorite apprentice last in the ascension ceremony three years from now. I gave Ian one last kiss and then sprinted out the door to meet the rest of the crew at the docks.

  When I arrived, a little flush from my run, I saw that everyone was loading the last of the luggage onto the ship. Darren stood near the back, helping a large man with black braids carry a particularly large crate onto the vessel. He looked up when I arrived, but as soon as his eyes met mine he looked away immediately – but not before I caught a flash of something cold. My heart stopped and my throat became sand, coarse and dry and in desperate need of something I didn't have. He knows.

  "Are you the other one?" A loud voice broke my reverie. I turned to see a woman in her early thirties watching me expectantly. Her skin was well weathered and her brown hair fell to her ears, cut in a similar fashion to most men in the regiments. Her eyes were a vivid green, much brighter than Ian's, and she had toned arms I envied. The best yet I had seen on a female mage.

  Arms, that no matter how I tried, I would never be able to replicate.

  "Y-yes," I stammered. I held out my hand. "I'm Ryiah."

  "Well, Ryiah, I'm Andy."

  "Andy?" I repeated, unsure if I had heard her correctly.

  "My parents had the audacity to name me Cassandra but you will never, ever address me as such unless you want to be made to walk the plank." She grinned in good humor and the laugh lines under her eyes deepened. "So Ryiah, you must be feeling pretty special – you and that prince are only third-years and yet the two of you were the ones to win your master and Chen's competition."

  I blush. "Well, I'm not sure if that's an accurate representation-"

  She cut me off with a hard slap to the back. One that made me wince and cough at the same time. "Come now, no one with modesty ends up in Combat. Take the praise and embrace it!" She pointed to the bag on my shoulder. "You'd do best to give that to Cethan – he's loading the rest of the supplies with your prince friend right now. As soon as the two of you are done come find me and I can introduce the both of you to our leader, Mira."

  I squinted at her through the morning sun. "Isn't Commander Chen leading the assignment?"

  The tall woman snorted. "Him? No – this trip is for Combat mages only. Well except for Flint – he is… well, I'm not sure exactly, but I do know he is Caltothian and the king sent him specifically for this mission."

  "Andy, stop chatting with the apprentice and get back to work. I won't have us depart late again because of your relentless need for gossip! Apprentice, I expect you to help the others load!"

  Andy winked at me. "The dragon lady is calling. Best do what she says!" She sauntered off to the front of the ship's hull with a cheerful yet sarcastic response to her leader.

  Awkwardly I set down my pack and went to help Darren and the large man, Cethan, with the rest of the supplies.

  "Hello," I greeted the mage shyly. "I'm Ryiah."

  The sullen-faced man looked up, irritated, and then gave me a list. "You can start with those crates there. Make sure each has the items I asked for – if we run low on supplies during the trip we will cut your rations before anyone else, so keep a keen eye lookout for anything missing."

  I set to work counting in silence, trying not to jostle Darren as we took turns pulling the crates open side-by-side.

  It was extremely awkward.

  The only time the non-heir acknowledged my presence was when my elbow accidentally grazed his arm and he snapped, "Watch it!" He said it with so much underlying anger that Cethan shot the prince a wary look.

  "S-sorry," I mumbled. For everything. He must have heard the strange pitch in my voice because the non-heir finally looked at me.

  "You have nothing to apologize for." His tone said differently. Then, in his most polite, un-Darren-like voice, he added, "Can you pass that crate to your left? I think I miscounted the fish."

  ****

  One week and five days of cold sweats, nausea, and vomiting. For some, seasickness ends after the first couple of days; for me, I discovered, it lasts the entire trip.

  The lead mage, Mira, noticed right away. One of the first things she told me was that the commander and Byron had made a mistake sending her someone "so useless at sea."

  She had continued to make similar comments for the rest of the trip.

  On our last night before we reached Dastan Cove I spent most of the evening clutching the side rails, trying to rid the sensation of waves from flooding my stomach. My skin was pale and clammy. I prayed that the sensation would go away as soon as we took to shore. The night air was cold and biting and constant blasts sent me quivering from head-to-toe. I was determined to prove my worth once we hit land.

  I was sick of the sea. But most importantly I was sick of being sick. I hated feeli
ng useless and having the rest of the crew eye me with distaste, like they couldn't believe I was the one who had ranked second. They didn't question Darren's presence. He had been a great help casting wind to speed our travel. He took turns navigating and preparing the meals. I spent the entire time clutching the railing.

  I couldn't even keep the meals down.

  I swallowed hard, and cursed myself for never considering seasickness a possibility when I had signed up for a month-long deployment.

  "Ryiah, Mira needs you to come back to the meeting."

  I glanced up to see Darren watching me with an inscrutable expression.

  I sighed and released the rail, trying my hardest to look anywhere but his face. Things had been cold, awkward, and distant between us. Almost exactly how they had been when we first arrived in Port Langli eight months back. Of course now I knew the real reason why.

  "Alright, I'm coming." At that very moment I was forced to clutch my stomach and heave into the ocean below.

  "She said that you should bring a bucket."

  I faltered and my eyes fell to his retreating form in anger and self-pity. He had said it so carelessly, like I was nothing, like I was no one. It shouldn't hurt me. Nothing about Darren should hurt me. I shouldn't allow myself to feel jealous of this wall he had built up between us… but rational thinking had never played its course wisely where the non-heir was concerned.

  I grabbed a pail and tried to remind myself I had no business wishing Darren would pine for me. I joined the rest of the crew below deck and tried not to let my expression waiver as five sets of eyes fell on my pale, clammy face and the bucket in hand.

  "So glad you could finally join us, apprentice." Our leader's voice sounded anything but.

  I took a seat silently by Andy who had the ghost of a smile on her lips.

  With the exception of Andy I felt as though I was surrounded by a crew of silent, angry statues. Mira, Andy had told me, was the sister of the Black Mage, Marius. But that was where the similarities ended. The brother and sister were as different as night and day. According to Andy this was because Mira was determined to distance herself from her older sibling as much as possible. Andy said she suspected it was because Mira resented his status: "We Combat mages are a competitive bunch, so it's natural if we aren't the best jealousy occurs – especially in families like theirs."