by V. R. Knight
“Yo Zane! Want to take a crack at this?” one of the guys asked holding up a fancy firework. I shook my head. He laughed and lit it himself. I didn’t know how she was doing and she hadn’t tried to call me. I didn’t either. I wanted to see her. I wanted to go tell her that I forgive her but I couldn’t. I thought we had something going till she decided to have sex with Grant. It hurt more then anything in my life. Not even Scott putting me in the hospital hurt as much as that. I sighed and took another drink.
“Hey honey,” said a sly voice. I looked over and saw some stupid blonde cheerleader in a tight skirt walking over to me. She had on little clothing for it to be 40 degrees out and January 1st. It was actually warm for January.
I raised an eyebrow.
“How are you? Heard you and that girl broke up.”
I shrugged.
“Fine. And yeah.” I said, not caring.
She came up and pressed her body on the side of mine making sure I feel her boobs on my arm.
“Want to go have a little party of our own?” she asked batting her eye lashes at me. She wasn’t pretty. She wore gobs of makeup and her lips were bright red and some was on her chin. She also smelled like beer. I thought of Olivia kissing Grant and smirked at the ground. I, then, looked up at the cheerleader and grinned.
“I like parties.” She smiled seductively and took my hand. If Olivia can play this game, so can I. The girl pulled me forward quickly as we rounded the porch then walked across the yard to tool shed. I grimaced slightly. I hate these kind of places but oh well. She pulled me into the shed and it smelled like ground. She slammed the door shut and I could barely see her as she grabbed my face. It was dark but only some of the light from the house. She kissed me roughly and moaned into my mouth. Her hands were cold on my neck and I felt weird for a moment. Olivia didn’t kiss like this. She was rough. Olivia’s lips were gentle…..Don’t think about her! You’re making out with another girl! I put my hands around the girl’s waist and pulled her to me. She was little and there was barely anything to hold on to. I didn’t like it. Olivia was taller and I didn’t have to bend my head down this low or have my whole hand fit around this girl’s stomach. She bit my lip moaning again then bit my chin. I almost ‘owed’ it hurt. She tasted of beer and strawberries; rotten strawberries. She put her hands on my chest and slipped her hands down, feeling my abs.
“Oh, you are so hot!” she sang feeling every curve. “I just want to eat you!” she practically ripped off my shirt and I grunted.
Oh man, this is just weird. I don’t even know this girl’s name and I’m about to have sex with her! For only my second time. I don’t even know if I did it right the first time! I guess I did, I mean Olivia didn’t complain about it. Though, I don’t think she would have. She’s too nice of a person. Ugh! Stop it! With the anger I felt for her I put my hand under the girl’s skirt and grabbed her thigh. “Oh yes!” she gasped between her tongue in my mouth. She lifted her leg and hooked it around mine.
“Ugh, do that again,” she coed.
I grabbed her thigh.
“Closer.” She whispered.
I put my hand further up her skirt and I felt the heat from her. I squeezed.
“Zane baby!” she screamed arching her back, her body very close to mine, rubbing me inside my jeans. It didn’t really turn me on though. She pulled away from me and yanked off her shirt clumsily. A flash from the night with Olivia came across my eyes as the girl put her lips back on mine. Olivia’s slight smile as she straddled me and pulled up her shirt. Then as she bent down to kiss me sweetly with her eyes tightly shut.
“Olivia…..” I whispered. The girl pulled back.
“What?” she asked. I swallowed.
“Nothing.”
She stared a minute then shrugged.
“I want your pants off.” she breathed putting her hands on the top of my jeans.
I bit my lip. “Yeah,” I said. She yanked off my belt then unzipped my pants and pulled them down. She licked my leg as she came back up. I jumped slightly surprised. She grinned at me then unclipped her bra. Her breast fell out. They were really tiny. I remembered Olivia’s. How nice they were. Just perfect. I shook my head. Don’t Zane. She latched onto me, throwing her whole body around me. She licked and kissed my neck as I held onto her, trying not to fall over. Again a picture of Olivia smiling and laughing filled my vision. Her pretty eyes, the way they glowed when she saw something she liked. The way she would frown if something bothered her. The way she would look off into the distance in her own world. Not caring what was happening in this one. I opened my eyes and dropped the girl who clung to me. She gasped.
“What?” she asked annoyed. I clenched my teeth. You’re such a pussy! She cheated on you but you still can’t have sex with anyone else! You’re worthless.
“I can’t,” I said. I grabbed my clothes and put them on.
“What did you just say to me?” the cheerleader asked.
I zipped up my pants. I got chills from the snow outside. I couldn’t believe I didn’t feel that till now. Must have been thinking too much.
“I said, I don’t want to have sex with you. I’m leaving.” I pushed past her putting on my jacket. I had found it folded up on the brown chair Olivia would come and sit on in the hospital. I asked the nurse about it and she said a girl gave it to her at the desk.
“You’re such a looser!” the girl called out at me.
I just ignored her putting my head down and walked back to my car.
I woke up to a giant headache and groaned. No, no, no! Damn, I had to get a hangover EVERY time I got drunk! Fucking sucks. I slapped my alarm and it went on snooze for the 13th time.
“Zane….” Mom said outside my door.
“No,” I said sleepily. I heard my door creak open.
“Zane, get up, it’s getting late.” I ignored her and shoved my face into the pillow. “Zane, get up!” she yelled. I winced but ignored her. Then I heard her walk away. Ha-ha! I started to fall back into sleep as I heard my name being called again. Then before I knew it a wooden spoon was pounding on a metal pan ringing in through my ears. I jumped up quickly screaming then fell face first onto the floor.
“That’s what you get for drinking,” mom said smugly.
I went to school popping 4 Aspirin into my mouth and putting on a pair of sunglasses. I walked in slowly trying not to slap my feet on the ground because it hurt my ears.
“Hey Zane!” one of my friends called putting out his hand for me to slap. I ignored him and walked to my locker. I didn’t want to talk to anyone today. People murmured around me but I just pretend I didn’t care. Someone tapped my back.
“Zane.” A quiet voice said. I ignored them. “Zane!” she yelled. She pulled my shoulder and Kendra looked me straight in the eyes. She looked like shit. She had dark purple lines under her eyes and her hair was a mess.
“Would you stop being arrogant! I don’t want to yell, it hurts too much,” she said closing her eyes for a second. She was hung over too.
“What do you want then?” I asked bitterly.
She flinched slightly. Either from me saying it too loudly or because it was mean. Both would be good to me. I could care less to even talk to this girl again.
“I want to talk to you about Olivia,”
“Kendra, leave me the hell alone.” I warned as I stepped around her.
“Zane wait!” she yelled.
“Oh! Fuck that hurt!” she said stopping to hold her head. The bell rang and we both grabbed our ears. Kids left the hallways. I started for my class ignoring her.
“Zane, stop!” she ran up and grabbed me roughly.
“Ow!” I yelled.
“Come with me,” she ordered strongly. She pulled me across the school and pushed me into a closet.
“What the hell do you want?!” I yelled. She pushed me back. I hit the wall and stared wide eyed at her. She looked pissed.
“You listen to me! I’m trying to tell you something and you are being a jerk!�
� I was surprised.
“Fine.” I said, like a child.
She huffed.
“Olivia didn’t have sex with Grant.”
I gasped and rolled my eyes standing back up again.
“Yeah rig—“
“You shut the freak up and listen!” she pushed me back again. I stumbled and fell to my butt. She glared down at me. “Don’t even say another word!” she warned. “Olivia did the exact opposite! She told Grant that she did NOT and I repeat NOT like him and she thanked him for dumping her.”
I frowned up at her.
“Why would she thank him?”
Kendra’s face softened.
“Because she said she fell in love with you.”
My heart stopped. Never in my life did I think I would hear that from Olivia. I stared dumbfounded. Oh god, I said really mean stuff to her. I…..that’s why she came so late! She wanted to tell me something! She was going to tell me that.
“Oh man,” I said putting my hands to my face.
“Yeah exactly!” Kendra said.
“What did I do?” I asked myself out loud.
Kendra sighed.
“How do you know this?” I asked looking up at her.
“I was making out in the hallway when she came running out of the room with Grant telling him off and saying she had to go find you.”
I clenched my teeth. I’ve screwed everything up.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
She frowned slightly.
“Because, even if we haven’t been getting along, I still love her. She was like my sister. I couldn’t let her get hurt again even if the first time was my fault.” She was looking down frowning. Her eyes got misty.
“I screwed our friendship up because of a guy,” she laughed coldly. “I’m an idiot.”
I looked up at her. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as I thought. She was just as screwed as I was. I didn’t feel anything for her romantically, but I could maybe think we could be friends sometime.
“I need to go talk to her.” I said standing up feeling determined.
“Yeah….wait!” she said as I reached for the door.
“What?”
“I forgot! Olivia isn’t at school or home.”
I frowned.
“Then where the hell is she?” I asked annoyed.
She bit her lip.
“I called her and her parents said that she left two weeks ago. Said she went to see her grandma or something? Or someplace around the mountains? I can’t remember.” Why would she go to her grandma’s?
“And she’s not here today?” I asked.
She shook her head with a sad expression.
“Damn!” I said and opened the door. Where would she be around the mountains……? “Oh! I know where she is!” I said thinking back to our little….. “There is this great place I know of. It’s up around the mountains somewhere. My grandma used to take me up there and we would stay for a week or two on holidays when my parents went away. It was always so beautiful in the winter…….”
Chapter 49
“I got to get that address.” I said clenching my hands.
Kendra looked at me and smiled sadly.
“I always knew you were a good person.”
I gave her a small smile.
“I’m sorry for what happened between us.” Kendra said quietly.
I nodded.
“Yeah me too.”
She kissed my cheek softly before stepping down onto her feet.
“Go after her and tell her how you feel!”
I grinned.
“Don’t worry, I will!”
She laughed as I turned around and ran.
“Please can you tell me the address? I need it! If I don’t talk to her I will rip out my heart and feed it to the animals!” I said dramatically.
Mrs. Taylor stared at me her eyes wide.
“I said I would give it to you Zane, sweetie.”
I guess this is why Olivia tells me I’m dramatic.
“Oh….ok. Well can I have it right now?”
She nodded.
Olivia:
I opened the front door and stepped out the cold winter air hitting me softly. I pulled my jacket around me more securely. It was a nice day, warmer than usual. I didn’t want to go back home today. Today was the first day of school and mom had finally called to tell me that. I told her to tell them I was sick for the next 4 days. I didn’t want to have to go back to school and see Zane. I couldn’t stand just seeing him and not being able to touch him. I didn’t want to break down in tears when he looked at me, if he did at all. I hate being weak! And he was my weakness. And I let him take it and he abused it. My feet crunched as I walked across the hard snow, past my Jeep and up along the ridge of the mountain. I breathed out a breath as I looked out across the mountains to the city. It was beautiful! The big hills had snow covering their peaks and the sky was blue with a couple clouds dotting the sky. The smell reminded me of when I was a kid and Grandma would bring me out here and we would sit and watch the sunset. I closed my eyes as the sun warmed my face and the wind blew my hair back. I could hear me as a kid talking to my grandma……. “Grandmamma, why does the sun always set?” she sighed and kissed my cheek as I rested in her lap.
“Because that is the way God intended it too. It is the way of life. It sometimes can be sad but remember: Every sunset comes to an end with someone you love. And honey, everything comes to an end sometime.” I frowned turning to look up at her. “Does everybody’s life come to an end Grandmamma?” she smiled sadly at me. “Yes baby, but that’s not the end.” I smiled. “Good! Because I want to live with my family forever!” grandma laughed and nestled me closer.
A tear fell down my cheek, as I just held my eyes closed and fought to keep myself in my Grandmamma’s arms. I sighed and opened my eyes. They were burning from me fighting the tears. “Every sunset comes to an end with someone you love…..or without one.” I whispered my Grandmama’s words. The last part I added it on. Because it was the truth. Truth hurts people the most. I wiped off my cheek and smiled at the white cross with a purple bow on saying my grandma’s name. I walked back through the trees just as I heard a car come roaring up the road. I stopped dead in my tracks at the edge of the driveway. The familiar orange Camaro bouncing feverishly around looking like everything would fall apart if it didn’t stop. I stared, my heart increasing. How?
Chapter 50
Zane jumped out from the car. His eyes were bright blue. They jolted my insides. He was wearing his leather jacket and fade jeans and cowboy boots. He slammed his car door shut and ran throughout the car and stopped several feet away from me, suddenly shocked that he was here and hadn't planned anything. He stared at me his jaw clenched. He was looking all over me with that weird look his eyes. I wasn’t interested in him. I finally thought. Why was he here? He was the one who hurt me! Is he here to really make it worse?
“Olivia,” he finally said looking into my eyes. The name made my stomach flutter. No, don’t let him do this to you. You’re not going to be weak anymore. Before he could say anymore I turned and started to go around him, my head low my hair covering my face.
“Olivia stop!” he yelled but did not touch me. I stopped and turned back to him. I did not want to talk. Why did he have to come here?! I was finally getting over him and he has to come and ruin it! I wanted to be left alone.
“We have to talk! It’s important. I know you didn’t have sex with Grant.”
I clenched my teeth till I bit the inside of my mouth. I was not going to talk. I will not talk to him. Why couldn’t he have just believed me when I told him?! I started walking again.
“Olivia!” he yelled. Before I could reach the steps he caught up and spun me around.
“Don’t you do this to me, Olivia,” he growled. He shook my shoulders till I glared up at him, still not speaking. “You are always running away! Don’t you dare shut down on me.” The words caused me to let emotion coat my face. I was mad. I p
ulled my hand up and hit him across the face. His head flew to the side and he closed his eyes and let go of my shoulder to hold his jaw. I was steaming with anger by the time he flexed his jaw and looked at me, a grin at his lips. I frowned. Why was he grinning?
“Nice hit…..for a girl.”
This tipped me over the edge. Screw not talking.
“I'll show you how a real girl hits!” I pulled my hand back up but he grabbed it and pulled me close to him mashing his lips to mine. It felt so good but I couldn’t let this go. With all my might I pushed him back and he frowned.
“Don’t,” I threatened. He frowned.
“I said I believe that you didn’t cheat on me. Olivia, please, I was an idiot!” he pleaded. I felt myself soften. I can’t. No, not now. “Please forgive me?”
I stared at him.
“I did. Many times before, Zane. But this is bigger than getting into a little fight about bruises.” My hands fell at my sides feeling like crap. We will never be able to have a real relationship.
“I thought we trusted each other. I thought you would never listen to any stupid thing someone said about me cheating on you. I would never.” I whispered the last words. “You didn’t trust me. I learned after finding out about Kendra and Grant having something when they were dating us, that I would never hurt anyone as much as they did.” but fighting with you hurts more. I looked down clearing my throat of the hollowness.
“I’m sorry,” Zane said quietly sounding like he would break down any moment. “I fuck up everything that good comes to me.” he whispered.
It was over. It was done. I felt a weight lift off me but emptiness came in its place. I wanted to go back inside and forget this happened.
“But one thing…”
I looked up at Zane as he raised his head to look at me.
“…That I didn’t fuck up was that I met you and we got into the fake relationship.”
I was surprised.
“Olivia, that was the happiest I’ve been in my life; when I was with you…….on that snowy night.”