Mugs of Love

by Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  “I love you too,” I mumble against his mouth.

  He stands up and helps me under the covers before he strides out of the room. I wish I knew where he was going tonight. But I trust Garrett. If he can’t tell me, there’s a good reason.

  Day One (In the hospital)

  “Cody, I’m gonna walk ’em out and grab a smoke. Tell Emily I’ll be right back if she wakes up,” I whisper, climbing to my feet.

  Cody nods and holds Emily’s hand a little tighter on the other side of the bed. His guilty dark green eyes are making this so much worse on me than I expected. This isn’t his burden to carry and I have to convince him of that sooner rather than later.

  I follow Devlin and his family out of Emily’s hospital room, Jordan walking silently next to me. Gerry came and went already. He’s struggling with the hospital from what I can tell. I can only imagine the memories this is dragging forward for him. But he won’t stay away from his daughter no matter how much being here hurts.

  I welcome the clean frigid burst of air as we exit the automatic doors. Devlin whispers to Jenna, who offers us a little wave before leading the kids toward Devlin’s SUV. Jordan, Devlin and I walk to the designated smoking area, which is luckily empty, and light up.

  I’ve been smoking like a chimney since Emily was taken and it's only gotten worse since I got to the hospital this morning. I can’t stop myself. I need this to maintain any semblance of sanity right now.

  “Got him,” Devlin says and I exhale a giant puff of smoke before taking a long drag. “He was runnin’. Had a bunch of shit packed and a plane waitin’ for him at the airfield. Flight took one of my guys dressed as Warren to the Caribbean. Apparently, he was takin’ an extended business trip according to his assistant I talked to this morning. He made this shit fuckin’ easy on us.”

  I stand in silence running through thoughts and emotions so intense my head hurts.

  “Where’s that motherfucker now?” Jordan growls.

  “Hangin’ on a meat hook.”

  “We’ll all take our shots at him. You know he’s responsible for Alyssa and the boys. I’ll give you that shit. Jordan, you’ve got your beef for what he did to Emily, give you yours too. I’ll call Gerry and see if he wants a go. But, I’m on his ass first. This lasts until it’s done. Weeks. Months. I don’t give a fuck. He’s on a hook until I say he’s done,” I say coolly.

  “Fuck yeah,” Jordan says, rubbing his hands together in excitement as his lips tip in a sinister grin around his cigarette.

  “Take all the time you need, brother. I’ll keep his ass fresh for you,” Devlin responds through his own wicked smile.

  We all get vengeance.

  Day Five (Emily’s first day home)

  Devlin and Jordan finish chaining Adam to the beams in the ceiling as I watch his panicked dark blue eyes.

  Emily’s at home with Cody, Arlene and Clyde. Finally out of the damn hospital. She’s still sleeping more than she’s awake. I plan on being home before she knows I’m gone. She doesn’t know I’m here. She still thinks we haven’t found Adam. I told her he ran and we’re trying to track him down.

  I hate lying to her, but she’s been through enough. She doesn’t need to know what I’m doing. What we’re all doing.

  I want to kill Adam right now. Beat him to death with my fists. Feel his life slip away between my fingers. But, that’s not how this is going to go. He’s the reason the people I love suffered. So, it’s his turn.

  Adam’s gagged so I don’t have to listen to him speak. If I hear him begging, I’ll snap. His screams of agony will fuel me, but they won’t drive me over the edge.

  Today his punishment will be what my woman endured. But I’m not going to shoot Adam in the calf.

  The whir of my power drill fitted with a spiked spade bit, blocks out the pathetic weeping. Jordan tethers Adam’s legs to the floor as I approach. I hear nothing else as I kneel, grasping his knee with one hand and slowly driving into his flesh with the other.

  It’s gruesome, brutal and not nearly enough as I hollow out his muscle. Adam passes out from the pain at some point so I stop, light a cigarette and then put it out in the wound, his cacophonous wail rousing him.

  Music to my ears.

  Day 9

  Jordan and Sharp string up the pathetic, whimpering pussy spread eagle. The hole Sharp drilled into him was starting to get a nasty infection so my man Zero shot him up with some antibiotics so we can keep stretching this shit out.

  Jordan uses a knife to cut away the fucker’s shirt, exposing his back to me and my bullwhip. I won’t take the first crack though. My woman will. She’s got the stomach for it and the fury to expel.

  I’m hard just anticipating watching her.

  She’s got her long brown hair up in a bun wearing tight as fuck black pants and a matching long-sleeved T-shirt. I’m going to fuck her until the sun comes up after this.

  “It’s all you, babe,” I whisper into her ear, handing her the whip.

  Jenna practiced for the last two days when I told her she was going to get her shot at this douche. With a piercing crack against the concrete floor, Sharp and Jordan back away to watch the show. When she unleashes the first whip, Adam Warren screams like a girl. And I imagine my girl’s screams when I hear him. How much did Alyssa plead for her torture to stop?

  Jenna doesn’t relent until her arms begin to shake and the pussy passes out. Jordan grabs a bucket of water and throws it in his face, waking him up. I yank Jenna’s tiny frame and crush her to my chest as she heaves labored breaths.

  “Did good,” I murmur into her hair.

  “Felt good,” she rasps out.

  I smirk down into her unique face, her big blue-green eyes shimmering with relief. Fuck yeah, she’s getting it tonight. Time to speed this shit up.

  I release Jenna and snatch the whip off the floor, instantly tearing into the motherfucker’s back. I strip his flesh away until the only thing staring back at me is raw meat. I’ve taken my pound of flesh. He owes me more, but I’m done for today.

  I spit on the concrete, nod at Sharp and leave the basement with my woman under my arm.

  Revenge feels good. Really fucking good.

  Day Thirteen

  Guilt is a heavy stone that grows in weight every day you don’t release it.

  I carry guilt on my shoulders for the death of my father. For refusing to help the man when I knew he needed me. My selfishness cost him his life.

  I carry guilt in the pit of my stomach for what happened to Alyssa, Hunter and Cody. I knew about the hookers. When Emily found Adam fucking a girl she said looked barely eighteen, it peaked my interest. And since my good-hearted best friend refused to let me go after the fucker, I used my curiosity to calm me.

  It took a while to figure out Sarah Bellefonte was using her shop to recruit and outfit hookers. She’s stupid and cocky. I think it took me two hours of watching to uncover her lame ass game once I knew what she was into.

  What I didn’t anticipate was how big the operation was. Warren liked to test out the newest girls. He didn’t seem to care where he fucked them as long as his pencil dick was in them. Maybe he got sloppy after Emily caught him, but standing outside his office while he plowed into a girl that looked to be Alyssa’s age, I felt a murderous, guilt-ridden rage seep into my bones.

  Because I love Emily like I’ve never loved another person in this world, I didn’t say anything about it. She was away from Warren and if he wanted to peddle flesh, that’s his business. The fact that underage girls were being used made it nearly impossible to keep my mouth shut though. So, I told Sarah I was onto her ass. I didn’t let on that I knew the scale of the operation. Just that if she didn’t stop using minors, I was going to take the pictures I had and turn them over to the cops.

  Blackmail is a beautiful bitch.

  I continued watching and I never saw another underage girl beneath Warren.

  Then the kids were attacked. It was my guilty burden to bear. I didn’t dig deep e
nough to know the Donovan family was a part of the ring. I didn’t dig deep enough to know that Warren planned that shit and hoped to get Sharp arrested again when he retaliated.

  Luckily, Sharp called Caleb and the club took all the security tapes so there was no proof Sharp was ever in that house. Convincing Brandon Donovan to keep his mouth shut was simple enough. So, my new friend avoided going back to prison and I moved forward in a fog of misery with my secrets.

  If I had just opened my mouth, we would have found out about what that cunt in Kansas City was plotting. My need to shield Emily put her in grave danger. I did this shit. It’ll be my stone to carry for the rest of my life. But today I’m alleviating some of the weight.

  I am my father’s son. As much as I’ve never wanted that to be true, it’s a fact. His blood courses through my veins, dragging evil through every cell in my body. I chose not to follow his bleak path, not for some holier than thou reason, but simply because I knew how much I liked the darkness within me. My mother deserved better in a son. And when I met Emily weeks after my father was gunned down, I knew I made the right choice.

  She made all that dark, fucked up shit fade into the background of my life.

  I owe her this vengeance.

  I owe her my life.

  I fling my blood-soaked hands out to the side as I climb to my feet from where I’ve been crouched over Warren’s body. I’ve removed every part of him that touched my best friend. Fingers, toes, ears and tongue are strewn about the concrete floor.

  Zero’s sick ass will keep Warren alive. He doesn’t deserve the mercy of death. I don’t deserve the surge of relief as Sharp claps my back in appreciation.

  I’ll carry the guilt. It’s my burden to bear.

  Day Nineteen

  The smell of death permeating the basement of an old slaughterhouse rolls my stomach, but it does nothing to stifle my progression.

  With my gun trained on the man that I welcomed into my home, my life and my daughter’s heart, I feel compelled to fire a kill shot. But I won’t.

  I’ve witnessed torture, beheadings and every other depraved act of war. The walking corpse hanging in front of me still shocked me at first sight. But I’m now certain down to the fiber of my being that Garrett Sharp will never harm my little girl. He’ll keep her safe at any cost. And as a father, there’s no greater peace in the world.

  I empty the magazine of my 1911 into Adam Warren, avoiding his major organs, just trying to drag out his painful existence. When I’m done, I holster my weapon, stride to Garrett and shake his hand.

  I’m proud of the man.

  I’m proud he’s in my family.

  I’m proud my daughter could see beyond his past.

  I’m proud he had the courage to be honest with me, knowing my reaction may have ended any chance he had with my daughter.

  I’m proud to call him my son.

  Day Twenty-Two

  Adam’s body has finally given up. Devlin texted right before I got home tonight that we needed to end this shit now if we were going to do it on our own.

  Emily’s hurt. The strain of keeping this from her is working on me. I don’t speak. I barely grunt. I’m causing her pain when that’s the last thing I want to do in this life.

  It’s time to be done.

  With the taste of Emily’s pussy on my lips, I stride out of my house with Jordan to finally kill Adam Warren.

  The ride to Mayhem is silent, both of us settling on the idea that our weeks of torture are finally coming to an end. With Zero’s help, we’ve stretched this longer than I imagined we ever could. Psychopaths are a good thing to have around when you’re committing continuous torture for the better part of a month.

  I haven’t come out to Mayhem every day. But it’s been close. I’ve given everyone a shot at Adam. Everyone he wronged that I care about has taken what they want from him. Clyde seethed as he beat him with his meaty fists. Jordan smiled the entire time he dismembered him. Jenna sighed with relief when she whipped him. Devlin roared with fury while he stripped his back and then again when he used him for knife throwing practice. And Gerry looked at me like a proud father after he emptied his magazine into him.

  I’ve given the people who love Emily their relief. Now it’s my turn.

  Jordan’s hand clamps on my forearm as I start to climb out of my ride, halting my progression. When I catch his blue eyes, they’re heavy with emotion.

  “You finish this shit tonight and let it go. Em deserves a good fuckin’ life. Not one with dark shit hangin’ around her. I know we’ve all struggled keepin’ this from her, but it was the right move. And when it’s done tonight. It’s done. Give her what she deserves, Sharp. I’m givin’ you my girl right now. Don’t make me regret this shit,” he growls, staring me down for another moment before sliding out of the car.

  Okay.

  I follow Jordan into the main room of Mayhem’s clubhouse, finding it empty. As we thud down the stairs there’s almost a merry clamor in the air. The entire MC is here along with Clyde, Jenna and Devlin. Gerry couldn’t make the trip, but the big tactical guy is here in his place. He nods at me as I step past him.

  This basement looks like a scene from fight club, except my opponent is basically a mound of minced meat. There’s not much I can do to him that hasn’t already been done. Adam’s limp and unresponsive. I keep waiting for remorse to burst from within me when I see him, but it never comes. I don’t feel bad for what we’ve done.

  The depraved shit we’ve uncovered about him…he’s gotten off easy. Human trafficking. Child prostitution. Attaching Emily’s name to his illegal money so she’d take the fall if he were ever caught. Arranging for Alyssa to be attacked so that my brother would step in and I would do exactly what I did to the fuckwads that hurt him. Feeding the love of my life to vial creatures that were planning to rape and torture her.

  Adam was very forthcoming in the days before his torture began while I sat at Emily’s bedside. The idiot believed we’d let him go if he rolled on everyone around him. No one was safe from his disloyalty. Sarah. The Donovan Family. His own father. Adam turned on all of them without any persuasion.

  Just like Daryl.

  As I look around the group of people here to support me. Here because they love someone who Adam hurt or destroyed. I know that true loyalty exists. We may be criminals. We’ve taken lives. Added drugs to the world. Moved weapons throughout the Midwest. We’re not good people. But we’ve got each other’s backs. No one in this room would turn on another for any reason.

  Emily led me to this. To this place where I can trust and believe in people again. She gave me life.

  Now I’m going to avenge hers.

  I rip Adam down from the ceiling and straddle his chest before unleashing powerful blows to his head. He’s dead after minimal contact, but I keep going. I continue to drive my fists into his skull as bones break and blood spatters. Silence takes over the crowd as I roar with release, allowing the emotions I’ve suppressed my entire life to surge to life.

  Unshed tears burn my eyes, wicked sobs are stifled in my chest, maniacal laughter is clogged in my throat, but it’s all there. Every single emotion is swirling through me as my arms begin to shake and a hand comes to rest on each of my shoulders.

  I sit back, hanging my arms at my side and look down through blood-soaked lashes at my destruction. There are no defining features that would tell you this was once a person. Adam Warren is gone and even his corpse doesn’t wear the honor of his once handsome face.

  Jordan and Devlin help me to my feet, one of them handing me a towel the other a cigarette.

  “For Alyssa,” Jenna shouts and the crowd hoots in agreement.

  “For Hunter,” Clyde continues.

  “For Cody,” Devlin growls.

  “For the girls we couldn’t save,” Zero says in his hauntingly sick voice, shocking the room, but they all clap and whistle.

  “For Emily,” Jordan grinds out with emotion thick in his voice.

  The roo
m explodes with screams and shouts, moving something in my chest. My woman means something to everyone she meets and even people she doesn’t. Her light touches as much of the world as the sun.

  When the room quiets, waiting for me to add my words, I take a shuddered breath before croaking, “For my baby.”

  There’s a moment of silence before whoops and congratulations reverberate around the room. Men shove my shoulders and clap my back as they leave to go celebrate all our vengeance with booze and women.

  The big tactical guy tips his chin at me before falling in step, spitting on the floor as he passes my gory mess.

  Clyde approaches me, wringing around the side of my neck with his thick paw.

  “Your old man is a piece of shit. Never shoulda spent any time with a man like him. But I’m not sorry I did, ’cause I ended up with you. You’re the son I never had, Garrett. I love Arlene’s kids, but I’ve known you since the day you were born. I haven’t done right by you. Doin’ my best to make up for that shit now. I’m proud of you, boy. So fuckin’ proud,” he finishes with a heavy sigh, squeezing me tightly as I nod before he thuds away.

  I swallow the melon-sized lump in my throat as Jenna approaches me.

  “Fuckin’ love you, Garrett Sharp,” she says before a few tears leak from her eyes.

  I won’t pull her into my arms covered in blood, but I want to. I know she’s been in pain for Alyssa and Hunter. She’s a young woman, but I can see she’s years beyond her age. According to everyone, she’s lived a rough life and been through some shitty years. But she’s not crying because she’s traumatized by what she witnessed. She’s crying tears of relief and thanks for taking Adam out of a world that hurt her kids. Because no matter how she got Alyssa and Hunter, they’re hers now.

  “You too, Jenna,” I whisper.

  Her eyes bug out at my reciprocation as Devlin sweeps her into his chest, holding her firmly to him. She clings to her man for a long while as the room empties, only leaving us. Devlin tells her to go upstairs and she obeys with a soft brush of the lips before beaming me a broad smile. I tip my lips in return.