You Own Me (Owned Book 1)

by Mary Catherine Gebhard

  I squinted at Vera. “I’m starting to understand how you lost your backpack.”

  “Okay…” Vera clicked another listing. “What about this?”

  After agreeing that neither one of us were serial killers (a debate that had taken about two minutes) we hopped in Vera’s car and drove to the public library. Vera had a smart phone and was able to locate the place easily.

  I didn’t have a cell phone, much less a smart one. After leaving home the only thing I had to my name was a backpack with a few change of clothes, a toothbrush, some shampoo, and some books.

  I let Vera do the navigating with the computer. I didn’t grow up with them. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use them, just that I’m nervous with ‘em. I feel like a lot of people know all these shortcuts and cheats on computers, and I’m just lucky if I can get to Google without typing “Google” in to Google. Nowadays, people are really judgmental about computers. If you don’t use them well you’re an idiot. So if I’m using a computer, I’m using it privately. Maybe that makes me a coward. It wouldn’t be the worse thing I’ve been called.

  Vera nudged me, prompting me to read the listing she’d brought up. Once again I’d been caught in my own thoughts. I read the listing thoroughly, but that didn’t take long. There was no picture and very little information.

  “It doesn’t list the price and it already has a tenant,” I stated.

  “So?” Vera shot back. “It means we can bargain and it means cheaper rent. What’s the number? Never mind I see it.” Before I could respond Vera was punching numbers into her phone. “I hate this thing it’s such a knockoff piece of—Hello? Yes, I’m callin’ bout the listing. Is it still available? Great! Me and my friend want to rent it. Four hundred for each of us? Oh, four hundred separately. Hun, that’s ridiculous.”

  Mesmerized, I watched Vera work. She bargained with whoever was on the line like it was second nature. There was no anxiety in her voice and she didn’t back down once. While examining her cuticles, she cut the price in half.

  “Two hundred, great. We’ll see you in a bit, Chad.” Vera hung up the phone, her cool, negotiating demeanor now replaced with bright glee. “Two hundred a month? Okay! Don’t mind if we do! Let’s go see our new home.”

  Vera linked her arm in my mind and pulled me out of the chair. She led my stupefied body through the glass library doors. Vera was so full of life, so sure of herself, and she was as much foreign to this land as I was.

  “What if it’s a dump?” I said, still being led like a puppy dog.

  “Then we’ll look elsewhere. Still, I thought we should lock that shit down. Know what I mean?”

  “Right,” I nodded, getting in to her car. “Shit and stuff.”

  Vera keyed the engine and glanced at me. “You’re a weird girl, Grace.”

  I shrugged. “The weirdest.”

  The drive to our (hopefully) new apartment was heart-pounding. Vera blasted the radio to some bubbly, beat-filled tune that I loved the minute it came on. She sang every lyric with precise timing and melody. Her voice was spectacular.

  “I don’t kno-o-o-o-w!” Vera sang, taking her eyes off the road to serenade me. Driving with Vera was hilarious, if not a little terrifying. She kept ignoring the road to sing to me. I couldn’t help but laugh, even if inside I felt like we were going to crash any minute.

  Even though I’d never been to Santa Barbara, I was barely paying attention to our surroundings. Vera was a tourist attraction in herself. The way she slapped the steering wheel to the beat—occasionally honking on accident—and howled with the song, was impossible to ignore. She kept trying to get me to sing with her, but that was not going to happen. I didn’t even sing in the shower.

  Vera stopped singing and turned off the radio. It was so sudden it was like being doused in water. I looked around for a towel to dry off with.

  “We’re almost here,” Vera supplied, completely normal as if she hadn’t just been rocking harder than anyone I’d ever seen before. And in just a car.

  “Oh,” I responded. Oh? I wish I could have said something better. Being with Vera was another reminder of how little experience I had with people.

  For the first time since I hopped in the car, I looked at our surroundings. Most of the houses had orangish red roofs and white facades. Bright purple, blue, and red plants decorated their porches and the lawns were sprawling green. It was unlike anything I’d seen before. I was mesmerized; it was like stepping in to a magazine page.

  “This is nice,” Vera said, slowing to a stop.

  “Why are you stopping?”

  “We’re here.”

  Here? My mouth fell open. This couldn’t be where we were going to live. It looked like paradise. Through cracks in the houses I could see blue, ocean blue. It was impossible that we were going to live here.

  “I know,” Vera said, “It must be a mistake. This place is too beautiful. But let’s check it out at least.” Vera popped open her car door and stepped out. I followed suit, still overloaded by the beauty.

  As we walked up to the big, white buildings, I couldn’t have felt like more of an outsider. People in swimsuits and sundresses strolled along the sidewalk, oblivious to our uncertainty. Vera pulled out her phone, checking the address one more time, before we ascended the steps of the biggest building on the block.

  “This one?” I asked.

  “Looks like an apartment or something,” Vera said, peering at the tall, white building with suspicion. “He said he was on the first floor and to just ring when we got here. So, here goes nothing.” Vera pressed the ringer with determination.

  It was only a few beats before the door opened, revealing a tall, scraggly looking young man who couldn’t have been much older than me or Vera. He had shaggy brown hair and blue eyes and looked to have just woken up.

  “You Vera?” He asked.

  Vera nodded. “Are you Chad?” He nodded, opening the door wide for us to walk in. Vera and I glanced at each other once before stepping across the doorway. With just that one look, we crossed the threshold, not looking back.

  Chad walked us through the one-story apartment. He kept saying things like “sorry, it’s not much” or “I know, it’s not that big” but I didn’t know what he was going on about. The place was huge. It had a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom, and three bedrooms. Plus, the patio opened right on to the beach.

  The beach was the first thing I saw and it took me a good minute to take my eyes off it. I remember when I noticed it Chad had been sayin’ something about how the microwave didn’t work right, but I couldn’t hear it. I was too busy starin’ at the big, blue expanse in front of me.

  The waves crashed in a continuous cycle and people were playing in it! I don’t know how they did that. Weren’t they afraid? Weren’t they worried that once they stepped in the deep blue they’d never come out? I kept wondering these things, watching little kids and big adults jump around as white foam crashed over their heads. I only stopped cuz Vera dragged me away by the elbow

  “I’ve got two extra rooms,” Chad said, gesturing at two open doors. “They’re pretty much the same except one overlooks the beach and the other overlooks the street.”

  Vera grabbed my arm, so hard I swear she drew skin. I pulled it back with a squeak, giving her a look. “What’s that for?”

  “Can I have the beach room?” Her brown eyes grew round and wide. “Please, I’ve never seen the beach but in pictures. Please!”

  I massaged my arm. “Yeah, okay.”

  Chad squinted at us then shrugged. “I guess that’s it. You’ve seen everything. I’ve got to head to school in an hour, so, uh,” he placed his hands in his pockets and then teetered on his heels, “Just have the cash ready by the first of the month.” Without another word Chad disappeared in to the room across the living room, shutting the door.

  Vera and I exchanged looks. “He’s a bit off his rocker, right?” Vera asked.

  “Maybe that’s how people act out here,” I off
ered, not wanting to believe the man we were going to be living with was even remotely odd.

  Vera nodded, “Maybe…” She shook her head, replacing her frown with a smile. “Let’s move in!”

  “Do you even have anything to move in?” Because I didn’t. All I had was a backpack with a few change of clothes and a toothbrush I bummed off a church in Colorado.

  “You know what I mean. I’m checking out my room!” Vera disappeared in to her bedroom, leaving me in the living room. I stared at the open door that led in to what was now my room. From my vantage point in the living room I could discern the outlines of a few objects, but not much. I should get it over with and just walk in, but it’s the oddest thing, my feet are somehow stuck to the floor.

  Like I’ve stepped in taffy.

  I’ve never had a room. I mean, I’ve had a room that I’ve slept in before, but never my own room. Daddy was very clear on that. It wasn’t my room, it was his room. Everything belonged to him. Even I belonged to him. Eli was the only one who ever made me question that… He was the only person who ever made me think that I could belong to myself.

  Vera squealed, startling me from my thoughts and memories.

  “What’s wrong?” I yelled, still not moving from my spot.

  “I have a closet and a dresser. Do you?” I couldn’t answer her, as I still hadn’t gone in to my room. Twisting my mouth in to a determined frown, I stepped from the spot and in to the room.

  My room.

  The walls were blank, no pictures or anything to speak of. Three were painted bone white while one was a stark contrast in aqua. The room had only one window and it overlooked the street. If I craned my head hard enough I could faintly make out the blue of the ocean. The ocean. The actual blue, vast, and apparently never-ending ocean.

  Mostly I just saw the deep black tar of the street, dotted with cars of all colors. People walked along the pavement, some dressed in only swimsuits, as they made their way to the beach. They were smiling, pushing their friends, and laughing. I turned from the window and back to my room.

  I still couldn’t believe it.

  My room. To do anything I wanted with. The bed was already done-up in white sheets, with a faded-blue quilt on top. A light wood dresser, like the color of wheat grass in the noon-day sun, was pushed up against the wall. A long mirror hung over the back of a door. I went to that door and opened it.

  “I have a closet!” I called back to Vera.

  “And a dresser?” She questioned.

  “And a dresser!” I replied. Seemingly content, Vera didn’t reply and silence hung in the air. Faint sounds from the street outside drifted in. Like whispers of happiness, I could hear people’s laughter and joy.

  As I sat down on the faded-blue quilt of the bed, messing up the neatly folded corners, I couldn’t help but think this was too good to be true.

  I need to acknowledge the wonderful people who helped me build this book. Some of these people I’ve known my entire life while some I’m just getting to know. All are equally important and were equally vital in helping me create You Own Me.

  You are the reason this book is in print, you are the reason my dream came true. I wish I could offer you more than just a name in the back of a book, but please know that this whole venture, from the first word to “The End” was made possible because of you. You are the people who took a leap with me to make this happen.

  I also need to acknowledge the people that made this book, from my cover artist to my editor to my formatter. This was my first time making a novel and I made a lot of mistakes. Instead of slamming the door in my face and telling me “tough luck” you showed me the ropes! You all were so kind and so patient, and I am so grateful for that! Thank you for helping me!

  Without you looking out for me this book wouldn’t exist: Alisa Weeks; Amazeballs Book Addicts; Amy Murro Neff; Auntie Gail; Auntie Jean; Auntie Joey; Auntie Lynne; Auntie Vickie; Carlyle Labuschagne; Caryn & Kelly; Christine; Diana Paprotny; Dylan Chisholm; Erica Verhoef; Erik Schubach; Erin Grussendorf; Haley Scott; Jax Remington; Jeff and Cindy Jackson; Jessica Kong; JulieAnna Thaxter; Katie Thaxter; Keegan; Kelly Chopus; Klaus Mogensen; Lexi Smith; Marci Jeppsen; Mark El Khoury; Max Derembourg; My Grandma Dort; My Papa; Nicky ' Dollface' Jones; Oliver's Mom; Paul Start; Raye & Dolph Raasch; Robyn Marye; Samantha Arnold; Stephen John Sovinsky; Taetum Koncar; The Bennetts; and Uncle Gary & Auntie Sharon

  To my lovely betas who read You Own Me when it was still just a rough stone: Erin Travers with Night Owl Proofing, Mary Sanchez Cortez, and Teresa Rapkin

  To Gia with Amazeballs Book Addicts. You’ve been a friend and you’ve been so supportive of my book.

  To my ever expanding family: Mom, Dad, Garry, Megan, Sean, Peter, and Michelle. You guys are the greatest most beautiful support system a gal could ask for.

  To the editor of my first edition, Jessica Petton from Petton Editing Solutions.

  To my cover designer Najla Qamber with Najla Qamber Designs, you knew exactly what I wanted the cover to look like from the beginning and were a pleasure to work with the entire time. I’m still reeling over how beautiful the book cover is.

  To my Formatter, Julie with JT Formatting. You made the inside of this book as beautiful as I hope the words are! Thank you for fitting me in and fitting me inagain when I missed our date! You’re a sweetheart and I’m grateful for your understanding.

  As I edited and reworked this book for the second edition, thank you Eileen Robinson, Phala with Aaly and the Books, Teresa Hart, and Amanda Lee with Disheveled Book Blog. Your constructive criticism helped tremendously!

  To my personal assistant, Liz Wiley, who acts as My Girl Friday!

  To my partner, Eric Lo. You’ve put up with my crazy from day one. You only grumble slightly when I use our life as fodder for my books. You’re my muse, my inspiration, and I love you more each day Thank you for supporting me no matter what.

  Thank you for taking the time to read You Own Me. The fact that you took time out of your day to get to know Lenny, Vic, Zoe, and Lisse really means the world to me. I hope you loved them as much as I do! When I started writing You Own Me, I had no idea what this book was going to mean to me or what these characters were going to do to me. Each character is a tiny piece of my soul. They jumped out, demanding attention and demanding to be written their own way. I didn’t mean for this to be a semi-autobiographical book, but as Lenny manifested so did I. It was definitely a crazy, life-changing experience.

  If you could take the time to leave a review, that would be awesome. It doesn’t matter where you post it, just that you do. Reviews really are the lifeblood of an author. If you don’t want to post one, that’s cool too. I’m just glad that you went on this wild ride with me.

  If you want to connect with me and talk about the book

  (or what your favorite movie is) you can find me here:

  Official Website: www.MaryGebhard.com

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marycgebhard

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaryCGebhard

  Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/marycgebhard/

  Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/marycatherinegebhard

  I have a serious addiction to social media, so you’re bound to catch me somewhere.

  Thanks again!

  Mary Catherine <3