Armed And Dangerous (The McKinnon Legends - The McKinnon American Men Book 2)

by James, Ranay

  “She is asking for you, Mason. Come back.”

  “What? I cannot hear you.” Holding his hand to the side of his helmet in exaggerated sarcasm, he continued to gun the bike's motor.

  Robert tried to speak again and Mason gunned the engine even louder.

  “You can all just go to hell.” Mason pulled out leaving Robert behind wondering what the hell was wrong with the man.

  Chapter 48

  Barbara was thinking that it had been five months since Mason disappeared. However, today was special. It was his birthday. She closed the file cabinets and locked them for the weekend before she poked her head into Robert’s office holding her coat and purse over her arm.

  “Robert, I’m leaving for the weekend. Is there anything else you need before I close it down?”

  “No, go on. I can lock up,” he answered half listening.

  “Have a good weekend then,” she waived before closing his office door. As she walked past her desk, she picked up the birthday card and gift which had laid on the corner for almost a month in hopes Mason would come back. She tossed them into the trash on her way out the door.

  Chapter 49

  Robert turned his attention back his phone.

  He was reading an e-mail from Mason who was asking for a ride home from the airport. It was the first contact with him in over five months.

  After Robert managed to track Mason’s motorcycle to Seattle, he had hit a dead end. Mason had just simply dropped off the face of the earth, going to ground, and regardless of the fact that Robert had spent a small fortune trying to find him, there had simply not been a single trace.

  Now, Robert understood why.

  Chapter 50

  It was Friday and Barbara had a very lively evening planned ahead. She had already taken a long bath and painted her nails.

  Phase two was curling up with Lula and Brian to watch a movie. She had met Brian while recovering from her gunshot wounds, and they had been dating for a while. She expected him home at any minute from his rounds at the hospital.

  Looking through her mail, she shredded most all the junk and filed the bills needing to be paid. The tattered envelope addressed to her caught her eye. It was postmarked Kodiak, Alaska, and dated over a month ago. She saw there was no return address as she flipped it over front and back. Shrugging, she opened it.

  Immediately, she had to sit down.

  Baby Doll,

  I hope this finds you well. I’ve thought a lot about you over these last few months when I could afford to let my mind wander.

  I’ve missed you.

  I never got the opportunity to say thank you for the unselfish gesture. I would like to think you took that bullet just because it was me, but deep down I know it would be a lie. You would have taken that bullet for a total stranger, and I know this because I was not worthy and yet you did it anyway. I owe you my life, such as it is these days.

  You are an amazing woman and my only regret is that I had years to get to know you and didn’t. I failed to see what might have been between us. That is my shortcoming.

  You said once that in another world and another life that we could have been something special. I believe that now. Yet, like a coward, I took what I thought was the easy way out. The way I thought was best for both of us. I did not deserve you.

  After I left Dallas, I took a job as a greenhorn on an Alaskan fishing boat and have been at sea for the last four months. I’m coming home and back to Texas soon after we finish this last run.

  I would like to see you to offer my thanks and apologies in person.

  Always yours,

  Mase

  “You son-of-a-bitch!” she screamed at the man three thousand miles away. “You no good sack of horse shit!” she yelled. She was hurt, furious, and heartbroken all over again as she began to cry in frustration.

  She railed at the letter shaking it in her fist. “You bastard!”

  She cried in frustration, tearing the letter into tiny shreds and watched it fall on the floor of her dining room like the shattered pieces of her heart.

  “You make me fall in love with you and then leave me without so much as hi, bye, or kiss my ass and then expect to waltz in here having me welcome you with open arms and blindly accept your apology?” She kicked at the confetti on her floor.

  “Naive, but yeah something like that.”

  The soft voice behind her startled her. She swung around only to see Mason standing in her living room just inside the door she had obviously forgotten to lock. It had been five months since she had seen him, and the changes were startling.

  His full beard was scruffy, and he was badly in need of a shave and haircut. His face was thinner, his body tighter, more cut. He looked as if he came straight from the boat dock, to the airport, then to her.

  That was exactly what happened.

  He had not even slowed down enough to clean up or shower, almost missing his flight as it was.

  He dropped his duffel and opened his arms.

  “Please.” It was all he could say.

  She did not move, and even in her sweats, bunny slippers, and ponytail she looked beautiful to him.

  He took a step forward. She still did not move.

  Mason knew this was going to be hard; he just did not have a clue how hard. He took on the most hazardous job in the world, spending five months trying to exorcise her from his heart. The Bering Sea is a ruthless mistress, demanding full and total devotion. He could not give it to her. His heart totally and irrevocably belonged to another.

  The Sea understood this fact and jealously tried to take him at every opportunity, very nearly did so. He had cheated death several times over the last five months. The last time she nearly succeeded just three days ago. It was then he realized he wanted to live too much to give up his soul to the cold gray depths of Davy Jones’ Locker.

  He survived the thirty four degree water while waiting on the Coastguard chopper to fish him out after a rogue wave took him and three others over the side. He had lived, the others had not. He simply wanted it more. He wanted to live with the one woman who could make him feel truly alive simply by being near him.

  He closed the gap, and just as he did the very first day in Robert’s office, he gently took her face into his hands.

  “I’ve missed you.” He kissed her forehead letting his lips linger savoring her nearness.

  “Go to hell,” she whispered closing her eyes against the feeling.

  “I’ve already been there.” He kissed her temple after he encircled her into his iron grip.

  He was always in good shape. Now, she could feel rock hard muscle beneath his sweater. Five months of slinging crab pots and fishing nets dissolved any softness he might had ever actually had on him. His body might be harder, but she felt tenderness in him that was not there before. He had changed. But so had she.

  “And you dragged me through that same hell and along for the ride.” She did not return the affection.

  “I know, baby. You were with me every league and every fathom.” He kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry that I ever left you.”

  He kissed her lips gently, fighting the urge to crush her to him. He so desperately needed to feel her close. “I owe you my life.”

  “You owe me more than that.”

  “Yes, I do owe you more than that, Barbara. I owe you an explanation.”

  She pulled away and placed some distance between them, just as the lock in the door turned and without much further hesitation the door opened.

  Brian stepped in. “Hey, babe, I’m home! I brought beer and the movie... you... wanted…” He slowly finished the sentence as he saw who was standing in her living room.

  Brian could not believe what he was walking in on. “You son-of-a-bitch. Get the hell out before I kill you with my bare hands.”

  It was Brian's worst fear come to life, and he could see from Barbara’s face she was totally distraught emotionally. The lines of strain were clear on her face.

  “Bria
n, no, it’s all right.” She stopped him by placing her hand on his chest. “Really, it’s ok. Mason was just leaving.”

  “No, I was not just leaving,” Mason protested, balking at seeing this other man in her life.

  It never occurred to him that she could have moved on while he was away. He was so absorbed in his own internal battle that it never sank in that he could be waging a war with himself, only to find that he was losing the battle for her.

  Talk about naïve, he thought.

  “Yes, you were leaving. I’ve moved on, Mason. You never gave me any reason not to.”

  Barbara wondered if that was actually the truth. She had practiced this speech to herself in the mirror. She had repeated it over and over for the last five months in order to convince her own heart that Mason’s leaving was for the best. They were just so wrong for each other. It had taken her four months of daily internal and external battles to come to the conclusion. And right or not, it didn’t matter. Mason was gone, either direction. “We’re no good for each other, Mase. We never were.”

  “And he is?” Mason pointed at the man who was taking his place in her life and in her bed.

  “He is my… doctor,” she offered up lamely. To say Brian was her fianceé just might be enough to set Mason off.

  “Oh, I’m way more than that to her, buddy.” Brian’s angry words left Mason in no doubt that he was encroaching on another man’s territory. Maybe this was why Robert advised him to wait until Monday to see her and to do it at the office. Again, he had charged headlong into the fray.

  “Give me a chance here. I screwed up, yes. I know I did, but I also know that people can change. I have had five months to assess what is really important and why I lived life on the edge.”

  He needed to tell her that he felt she was the only thing which mattered to him. The racing bikes, the crazy BASE jumps, or mountain climbing meant nothing at the end of the day. She mattered. They mattered. He loved her, and even if she thought they were wrong for each other, after five months of soul searching, he knew that assumption on her part was no longer true.

  Mason would agree at first they were wrong for each other. More the truth was he was wrong for her. She had always been right for him. Now, they were very right for each other, and he just had to make her see that for the truth. “I’ve had five months to realize what we are to each other.”

  “And, damn you, I’ve had those same five months to wonder where the hell you were! I had no way of knowing if you were dead or alive. For all I knew, you were just off screwing around surfing in the Philippines.”

  “She doesn’t what to hear this, McKinnon.” Brian pushed Barbara behind him.

  “Yes, she does.” Mason insisted, trying to side-step Brian, to look at Barbara.

  “No, she doesn’t. You left her broken and bleeding. I was her surgeon, and I picked up those pieces of her body after she took that bullet for you. I was there to find and help piece the shattered parts of her heart back together, which you so callously left scattered. I have been here for her while you, on the other hand, have been noticeably absent. You have no right to come in here and tear her up again!” Brian raised his voice, angry with the one who was responsible for all her pain and suffering.

  Barbara was pushing between them, separating the two men who were almost nose to nose.

  Mason was nearly coming to blows with this man. Brian had no rights to Barbara. Barbara was his woman.

  “I have every right!” Mason shouted. Then he calmed because he knew this was unsettling her. “I have not right to hurt her, no one has that right, but I do have a right to be here. More right than you ever will.” Mason could have already lost her. He was seeing that very clearly. “You are her doctor. I am her husband.” He looked down at Barbara’s shocked face. “The marriage was legal, Barbara. I just found out earlier tonight, and my intentions never were to hurt you. Not then, and certainly not now.”

  “Just stop! Leave.” She really did not need to hear this putting her hands over her ears. She hated being a coward, but still could not take it.

  “No, Doll. I won’t leave. Not yet. Not until you hear me out,” he said softly, demanding his right to be heard.

  “Just shut the hell up and get out!” She pointed to the door.

  He stepped closer and continued. She needed to know how he felt and this might be his only shot. “I was in love with you when I left, but you deserved better than the man I was then. Hell, you probably deserve better than the man I am now.” He gently traced the beautiful line of her cheek. “And if Brian is who and what you want I’ll concede, but not without a stipulation. Thirty days, Barbara. Give me thirty days. After that, if you still want me to leave and step aside, then I will. I won’t like it, but all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

  Barbara was in shock. She and Brian were getting married in less than a month. If she said no to Mason’s request, then she would never know if she turned him away out of spite and anger, or as a way to hurt him for his actions.

  If what Mason said was true, and they were legally married then if she said yes, Brian and she would have to put the wedding on hold indefinitely. They would have to put that wedding on hold anyway, pending a divorce. She and Mason had freely, if unknowingly, consummated the marriage, so an annulment was out of the question.

  What had Robert and Mason done to her?

  She was very fond of Brian and could have been very content with him. They had lots in common and he was comfortable. Now, in the space of five minutes her life was taking another drastic turn.

  “Oh, God! Brian, I swear I didn’t know,” she said turning to Brian. She was crying. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Otherwise, I never would have accepted your proposal.” She took off his ring and held it out to him. “I have no right to this.”

  Brian stood there shaking his head. There was no hope for him. She had never given him any indication that what he felt for her was returned on the same level. Barbara loved him and they were comfortable together. However, she had been and probably still was in love with Mason McKinnon. She had always been honest with him; he could give her that much credit. It was the risk he ran. He gambled and may have lost.

  Brian kissed the top of her head holding her as she sobbed. “It’s all right, Barbara, really, don’t cry. This is not your fault. It is Mason’s and Robert’s for doing this to us. besides, I knew the risk that I was running trying to compete with Mason’s memory. I’ll call you later, and we can work through this, when we are not so emotional.”

  It was all Mason could do not to fight him off her. She was his to comfort and to cherish.

  “She is mine!” His inner voice was shouting, and for the first time, Mason acknowledged that voice and embraced the command.

  Barbara walked Brian to the door where he turned, offering his parting warning. “Mark my words, McKinnon, this is not over.”

  Barbara just watched as a good man walked out of her door.

  Mason wondered, as he watched her lean her forehead on the door, what the next move should be for him.

  He was wondering if he was hurting her by making her choose. He put his hands on her shoulders hoping to give her some modicum of comfort. She forcefully shrugged them off.

  “Are you in love with him?” he asked softly after turning her around to face him, not really wanting to hear the answer. If she said yes, he would walk out right that instant before Brian had opportunity to leave the building and send him back to her. He loved her enough to let her go. That much was painfully clear. Her happiness was all he could think of now that he was home.

  She shook her head. “He is a good man, Mason. He is good to me, but no, I’m not in love with him. Something we both knew deep down.”

  Mason breathed an audible sigh of relief. She may not take him back, but it would not be because she had given her heart to another man.

  She stepped away from him and separated herself from his nearness. She could not think when he was this close. />
  “Still, he doesn’t deserve what you and I have just done to him.”

  Mason slowly began to close the gap between them. She was still closed off to him, and he could feel the barriers around her heart and body. If she would not meet him halfway, he was more than happy to be the one to give in and close the physical and emotional distance between them.

  “You said he is good to you. Have you been happy with him since I left?” He had to know.

  She shook her head slowly. “No, not really.” Her voice was flat, almost unemotional. He recognized the signs. She was shutting down emotionally.

  She had worried about him and for his safety.

  “We all worried.” She looked at him and wondered how she could be so calm. “It was a mean and nasty thing to do, leaving and not letting anyone know you were even alive.”

  He could not have agreed more.

  “You are a selfish bastard, Mason McKinnon.”

  Again, he agreed with her. He had no legitimate defense. How could he possibly defend himself when his action spoke so loudly in his damnation? He had already heard the lecture from Robert on the way back from the airport, and it was a lecture he had already given to himself.

  It was selfish and childish regardless of how necessary he might have felt it to be at the time. The end result might never justify the means. He hoped it would, but life was not always fair. Fate was not always kind, especially when she gave Mason a gift and that gift was spurned. Barbara was his gift, and he had turned his back on her when she needed him the most.

  They all loved him and were worried sick as the days rolled into months without so much as a word. And the guilt Barbara felt was deep. She was an instrumental reason why he felt betrayed, and that betrayal forced him to feel the need to leave. She owed him an apology, too.

  “I never played you, Mason, and I’m sorry if you felt betrayed. I hurt your feelings and that makes me not much better than you.” She sat down on the arm of the couch putting her face into her hands. “But it still doesn’t change the fact you left me lying in a hospital bed desperately needing to see you.” She looked up at him. “I needed you!” He did not say a thing in his defense. “I needed you,” she said more softly, a silent tear rolled down her cheek.