Follow You Down

by Lazeema Haq

  He twisted himself and manoeuvred her hips up, driving even further inside, hitting the very sensitive spot that made her come apart completely. It wasn’t long before she was screaming, falling over the edge. She couldn’t believe how good it was, how connected she felt to Tristan. He wasn’t far behind either, growling her name as he reached his own climax.

  She closed her eyes and let the waves of pleasure wash over her. His body was slick with sweat when he collapsed on top of her, almost knocking the breath out of her. She didn’t mind though. Hell, she didn’t care because she felt wonderful. And amazing. Like she was floating on air. “Why did I wait so long?”

  His soft chuckle echoed in the air.

  Chapter Eighteen

  His hand was splayed on Vesper’s back while she dozed beside him, fingers idly drawing patterns along the curve of her spine. Every year his birthday was spent partying with friends in the hopes of distracting himself from the image of his mom’s corpse, and his coping methods usually worked but not this time, not tonight. Compounded with his own guilt for still not destroying Arthur, all of the usual distractions seemed to have failed him and he was prepared to drown his sorrows in alcohol until Vesper came storming in, turning his life upside-down once again.

  He’d behaved like a complete ass since returning from London, but avoiding her was the only way to assuage all of his guilt. His insides were all wrecked, bouncing back and forth between feeling guilty about still not avenging his mom to blackmailing Lily. Vesper had a tendency to make the bad stuff in his life fade away along with the anger and rage that fuelled him to push further and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. Plus, he knew how disgusted she’d be with him for threatening Lily. All in all, he was a fucking mess.

  Although he’d never intended to share the truth about his mother’s death with Vesper, he was glad she had urged him to be honest. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part, but it was almost as if she actually understood why he was as fucked up as he was and loved him more because of it. So what if she still didn’t understand his need for revenge? It wasn’t fair to hold that against her because that was just who she was. Vesper may have thought of herself as a cynic, spouting all that bullshit she did about not being in love with him, but he knew her, the real her, especially the sweet, idealistic part she tried hard to keep buried, and he knew deep down she always wanted to see the best in people. In him. And he couldn’t fault her for that, considering it was one of the qualities he loved most about her. Fuck. He really was in love with her, wasn’t he? If any of his buddies spewed sentimental shit like this Tristan would have mocked the hell out of them, but here he was doing that very same thing. He snickered.

  “Amusing yourself?” Vesper asked in a sleepy voice.

  “Can you blame me? You’re too busy napping.” Before she dozed off again, he pinned her underneath him and started tickling her.

  “Tristan, stop!” she squealed, giggling hysterically.

  “Only if you promise to stay awake.”

  “Okay, okay, I swear.”

  Boasting a smug grin, he planted a kiss on her temple.

  “Shouldn’t have brought me into the bedroom if you didn’t want me to sleep,” she griped, hooking her arms around his neck.

  “My legs were getting cramped on the couch. That’s the only reason we’re in here.”

  She flashed him a mischievous smile. “Your legs, huh? What are you going to complain about next? Your back? Your bones? Geez, Tristan, old age seems to be hitting you fast. No wonder you couldn’t keep up with me before.”

  “Is that a crack about my stamina?” he teased, grinding his naked body down on her.

  “Maybe you should go to the doctor and ask him for some Viagra. You know, just in case.”

  A soft chuckle escaped his lips as they lingered along her exposed breasts, nipping the space between them. She sighed against him, her body quivering and naked, suddenly breathless. “What was that about Viagra?” he taunted, pressing his erection against her. “Think I still need it?”

  “Maybe not tonight.”

  “I would hope not. Especially after that second time I fucked – ”

  “Shut up.” Vesper clamped her hand over his mouth, a heated blush spreading over her cheeks.

  “Let’s not waste anymore time talking.” She reached up to kiss him but he pulled away, feigning hurt.

  “I’m more than just a hot body for you to fuck whenever you want, you know. I’m a man, Vesper, a man with emotions and feelings.”

  “Since when?”

  “That’s it. I’m not putting out until you apologize.”

  Vesper rolled her eyes in response. “Don’t be an ass.”

  “Hey, it’s my birthday. I’ll be an ass if I want to.”

  “What’s your excuse for the other 364 days of the year?”

  “Not only do I want an apology now, but I also want dinner and flowers. You’ll have to woo me to fuck me.”

  She glared up at him, her eyes sparkling with anger, which only turned him on more. He loved to push her buttons and see her get all riled up.

  “You know what, I think I’m going to take a shower,” she announced.

  What the hell.

  She slid off the bed, naked and beautiful, seemingly oblivious to his hungry stare. He stared after her, taking in the way her hips swayed side to side as she walked to the ensuite bathroom. His body was already responding when she looked over her shoulder at him.

  “You’re welcome to join me, as long as you keep your mouth shut.”

  “That wouldn’t be much fun for you,” he pointed out.

  “Yeah, you’re right. Never mind then. Stay where you are.”

  “But I’m already up.”

  Her languid gaze drifted down his body as he stood up, taking him all in. “Yeah, I can see that.”

  In a few quick strides he reached her. She started giggling when he picked her up over his shoulder and carried her to the bathtub.

  “Apparently I didn’t need to buy dinner or flowers,” she boasted.

  “Shut up, Vesper.”

  *****

  Tristan woke up to realise the space next to him was empty, Vesper wasn’t in bed with him. A quick glance at the clock revealed it was after two in the morning. Panic swept over him until he realised there was light streaming in from under the closed en suite door; Vesper was in the bathroom. He closed his eyes, and despite his intention to stay up until she returned to bed, he drifted back to sleep.

  *****

  The sun was peeking through the windows when he awoke next. He reached out for Vesper only to find the space beside him still empty. Seeing that the bathroom door was closed, he left the bed and walked over to check up on her. “Vesper?”

  There was no response, no one was inside.

  Slipping on a pair of boxers, he stormed downstairs. Relief flooded over him when he found her sitting on the couch but it was short-lived; her face was streaked with tears. “What’s wrong?” he asked, trying his best to remain calm even as panic threatened to overwhelm him. “Vesper, is it me?” He knelt down in front of her, swiping her tears away. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No, you didn’t do anything. I’m fine.”

  Although irritated with her refusal to explain, he tried again. “You’re sitting here crying, Vesper. So don’t tell me everything is okay.”

  Her lips quivered. Her hands were cold to the touch, and he rubbed them between his own to warm her up, pressing soft kisses on her skin in between.

  “Do you think you could ever forgive him?” she asked.

  “Who?”

  “Your dad.”

  “Why would you ask me that?” When she averted her gaze from his, he tucked a finger under her chin to reclaim her attention. “Vesper, answer me.”

 
“I did something horrible, Tristan, and I can’t take it back.”

  “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

  She grimaced. “You remember Latoya?”

  “Yeah, you have a picture of her in your room. She was a friend of yours, right?”

  “She wasn’t just a friend. We grew up together in the same foster home.”

  “Okay.”

  “After all the shit my mom pulled, I wasn’t an easy kid to deal with. I was always getting into fights with other kids, even the parents. I went from home to home until I moved in with the Fogels. They were the first family I wanted to stay with, and it had a lot to do with Latoya. We got along right away. She came from a pretty messed up family too but she seemed happy with the Fogels. Being there with her, that place really felt like home. And The Fogels came across as pretty normal too. Gary was a doctor and Natasha was his second wife. They couldn’t have kids so that’s why they fostered, they said it was a way to give back. They seemed so perfect.”

  From the anguish on her face it was obvious she was caught in a web of painful memories; he squeezed her hand.

  “Latoya was already with them for a year when I started living there. And for a while it actually felt like a real family.”

  As silence ensued, he simply held her.

  “At first I didn’t know Gary was hurting her, he never did anything like that with me.” Her voice trembled. “Sometimes I would lie awake at night and I could hear her crying through the walls after he left her room. I can’t lie to you, Tristan. I guessed what was going on, but I didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want it to be true because I knew they would take us away, separate us, put us in different foster homes. I finally had a home, a real family, and that’s all that mattered to me. So what if she was being abused? As long as it meant I could have a normal life I was happy to pretend everything was fine.”

  Vesper’s courage was one of the things he admired most about her. She was a force to be reckoned with and it was heartbreaking to hear how she had once been a terrified young girl trapped in a horrible situation.

  “It went on for years but Latoya and I never talked about it. There was always this thing between us, ready to explode any second. She started lashing out when we were in high school, getting into trouble, doing drugs to forget everything that was happening to her, and I’d already started cutting.”

  Remembering the scars on her body, his chest tightened. It all made sense now.

  “She was eighteen when she went after Gary with a gun.”

  “Shit,” Tristan whispered.

  “The cops didn’t believe her when she told them the truth about Gary. To them she was just another black teenage junkie and he was this upstanding citizen who had spent his whole life helping others.”

  “What happened to Latoya?”

  “She’s in prison. I testified on her behalf, I told the truth about everything but it didn’t matter. They didn’t believe me either. And after Latoya realised I had always known and done nothing to help her, she… something inside her broke. She hates me, and she has every right to.”

  “Do you visit her?”

  “No,” she said. “I… can’t face her now. Her life is ruined because of me.”

  “Vesper–”

  “I destroyed her life, Tristan. I was her family, I was supposed to protect her, and I did nothing. Because I was selfish.”

  “You were a kid scared out of your mind!”

  “I wasn’t the one being raped!” Vesper snapped. “I didn’t have anything to be scared of. I was just selfish and weak and it ended up costing Latoya her freedom, her future. She’ll never have a chance to be happy and it’s my fault.”

  The guilt in her eyes was all too familiar. From his own experience, he knew there was nothing he could say that would make her feel better.

  “When you were sleeping beside me,” she said, running her fingers through his hair, “all I kept thinking about was how Latoya was never going to have someone like you in her life. She’ll never be happy.”

  “I’m not that great. Remember all the crap I pulled this week?”

  At last she smiled, however sad it may have been. “I was prepared to be alone. It’s what I deserve after what I did to her. But then I met you and I just… I can’t give you up, Tristan. I should, but I can’t.”

  “Good. Because we’re stuck with each other.” He should have been comforting her, instead he laid his head on her lap and closed his eyes. “Vesper, I love you and I’m not letting you go. So suck it up and love me back.” He tried to keep the desperation out of his tone, but he couldn’t; the thought of a future without her was unbearable to him. “You’re wrong, you know.”

  “How so?” she asked.

  “We do deserve each other.”

  “Why does that sound so ominous?”

  “I don’t know, maybe it is but I don’t care. We’ll just have to deal with whatever comes our way.”

  “Strong words coming from a guy who’s been avoiding me for days.”

  “See? I’m not that great.”

  “Yeah. Neither am I.” She bent down, resting her head on top of his. “Now you know every horrible thing about me. And I know you.”

  His conscience pricked at him, reminding him that she didn’t know everything but he ignored it.

  “Do you still think we can make this work?” she asked.

  He pulled her close, clinging to her tightly. “Yeah, we can. We will. I promise you that.” And he meant every word of it. No matter what it took, he was going to hold on to Vesper and make her happy. He would never let her go. “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll make you some breakfast.”

  “Pancakes? Fluffy pancakes?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Fluffy pancakes.”

  She smiled, reaching for his hand.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Happiness was a strange sensation and something Vesper wasn’t used to. For so long her life was simply about survival, trying to get through every day without letting the past haunt her, but now she was filled with hope and possibility – and it was all because of Tristan. That wasn’t to say they didn’t fight – they did – but they were usually able to work things out by talking and their relationship was going strong at three months. Being with him was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before and that feeling of joy was addictive. Although there were times she worried it was all an illusion and everything would blow up in her face eventually, it was getting easier to ignore that voice every day.

  “What are you thinking about?” he murmured in a voice laden with sleep, rubbing his stubble against her bare shoulder.

  “Nothing.” She turned around to meet his gaze. His hair was a fluffy mess, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Despite the scruff on his face, he looked like a teenager. Smiling, she tugged at his chin. “I think I like this.”

  He quirked his eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” He pulled her close, rubbing his prickly face against hers. “Stop it, that tickles!” She climbed on top of him, lacing her fingers through his.

  Today was one of the few times they both had the day off from work and they had spent most of it in bed. As much as she wanted to stay that way, however, Tristan already had plans for them to attend some kind of benefit dinner tonight. Frankly, it wasn’t something she was really looking forward to. “Do we have to go tonight?” she asked, squeezing his hands.

  “You have something better planned?”

  “Maybe I can cook dinner or something.”

  “Not really in the mood to get food poisoning tonight.”

  She smacked him across the chest. “Jerk. That’s the last time I offer to cook for you.”

  “You promise?”

  “Shut up.”

  Chuckling, he sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “You’ll h
ave fun tonight, babe.”

  Still straddling him, she shrugged her shoulders. “I doubt that.”

  “We can’t just stay holed up in your place forever.”

  “Forever? It’s only been a few hours. And I’m not saying we need to stay in. Maybe we can go to the movies or go out for dinner.”

  “Or we could just stick to the plans we’ve already made.”

  Irritation surged through her. “Fine. Whatever.”

  He picked her up and set her on the bed before standing up. His jaw was clenched, his body tense; she could feel the frustration vibrating off of him as he grabbed a towel hanging from the door.

  “We made these plans weeks ago,” he reminded her in a curt tone.

  “You made them,” she grumbled. “I don’t like your friends. They’re assholes. So why do you insist on making us all miserable?”

  “Because you’re my fucking girlfriend! I want you there with me,” he snapped.

  The anger in his voice took her by surprise.

  “And it’s not like I’m telling you to be best buddies with them. I don’t think I’m asking for too much when I want all of us to hang out for one night without turning the whole thing into a big fucking deal.”

  He didn’t wait for her to respond, instead storming off to the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

  She sat up, her stomach all twisted up in knots over his outburst. His words echoed in her brain, and she realised he was right. While she didn’t like his entourage or how Tristan acted when he was around them, it wasn’t fair to make him constantly split his time between her and his friends. Obviously he’d been looking forward to tonight and the least she could do was suck it up and hang out with his buddies for a few hours. Besides, he’d always been nice to her friends – which she didn’t have many of and they weren’t assholes – but that wasn’t the point.

  Determined to make things right she marched into the bathroom and pushed the shower curtains aside. He refused to turn around, ignoring her. She stepped inside the tub, reaching out to hold him. Her lips skimmed along his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I was being a bitch. I’ll go tonight and I’ll be nice and sweet.”