by Amy Marie
When I finally arrive home, I start a warm bath after putting my dress on the hanger and place a robe over my body. Walking into the kitchen, I pull a bottle of wine off of the wine rack and open it. When my glass is thoroughly poured I turn to go back to the bathroom when someone knocks softly on the door.
“One second!” I yell running to my room and slipping on a pair of shorts and a tank top over my head. After turning the water off in the bathroom I run over to the door and swing it open, a smile dancing over my lips. I wasn’t sure he was actually going to come but I’m surprised at how excited I am that he did. My smile drops when I find not Ryder, but Braden standing in my doorway. Even drunker than before.
I try to slam it shut on him but he blocks it and trips as he crosses the threshold. “Hadley. Let’s talk,” he stammers.
“Ha!” I laugh, picking up my wine from the counter. “You’ve had three weeks to talk and now you want to. Get out.”
“No,” he says, leaning up against my table, most likely to keep himself from falling on his face.
“Yes. Or I’ll call the cops.” I threaten but even I laugh at that. He is the police and so is Ryder, who I now really hope doesn’t show up anytime soon.
He slumps into the chair, his tie gone and the top three buttons unfastened. His eyes are glazed over and his blond hair sticks up everywhere like he has been running his hands through it. I walk over to the kitchen getting him a glass of water and handing it to him.
“I hope you didn’t drive here, Braden,” I tell him taking a seat in a chair across from him.
He takes careful sips as he watches me.
“So, you were Ryder’s partner?” I ask and he nods. “When did you find out he knew me.”
I can smell the alcohol from across the table as he speaks. “I found out the day you got the flowers from him.”
Surprised, I grab my chest, cringing at the thought of Braden knowing for that long. I should have told him about the flowers but I had thrown them away after Ryder left. That was the day I came home to him making dinner and he claimed my body.
“He was a rookie and I was taking him under my wing. Fuck, I even told him to go for you.” He lifts the glass up waving it around, spilling some on the table.
My fingers drum against the table. “Why didn’t you say something to him? To me? I mean, you’ve been somewhat possessive our whole relationship and you didn’t say a word.”
“Sergeant,” is all he says.
I stare confused. “What does that mean?”
His hand glides through his hair making it more of a mess. “I’ve been working towards Sergeant for a while now.”
A sense of pride consumes me. I know he has been working hard to get promoted and I had no idea. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to surprise you, Had.” His head falls down, defeated. “I wanted to tell you after I got my chevrons and when I found out our new hire was your ex boyfriend from high school I almost lost it. I couldn’t though. I needed to keep my head on straight to get promoted. So, I put in for a new partner and thought after that day you would never see him again. I guess I was wrong.”
He stands up abruptly and walks to the bathroom. My phone buzzes from the counter. I check it, finding a text from Ryder.
Ryder: On my way.
My body tenses with panic. I can’t have Ryder come over when Braden is here.
Me: Can you stop by tomorrow? Braden is here. He’s in bad shape and needs to talk.
Ryder: No. I’m coming over.
Me: Please, I promise I’m fine.
Ryder: Call me when he leaves. I’ll wait up.
As I wait for Braden to return I think about what he said. He was up for promotion and didn’t tell me but if he would have told me he worked with Ryder, I could have made it easier on him. Even though I asked Ryder back then to leave me alone I would have never let him into my life this much the last month knowing that it could possibly hurt Braden’s career if he flew off the handle with jealousy.
The chair scrapes across the floor with Braden’s return. He looks better, like he splashed some water on his face and fixed the craziness of his hair.
“Feel better,” I ask grabbing his glass and refilling it.
When I sit back down Braden takes my hand into his. I don’t pull away but it feels foreign, like we’ve grown so far apart nothing feels the same.
“I got it,” he says, squeezing my hands lightly. “I made Sergeant.”
A proud smile takes up half of my face. “I’m so happy for you. When did you find out?”
He blows out a breath, letting go of my hand. “The Friday we were supposed to meet. That was why I was late.” He looks up to the ceiling like he is searching for something that isn’t there. “I got promoted and the boys kidnapped me and took my phone. I was late because they wanted to congratulate me. Then I pull up to find Ryder’s car and your car in the parking lot. I walk in to find you two on the same side of the booth. God, Hadley my heart sank.”
There are no words to describe how much I hurt for what this man saw. “Braden,” I plead. “Nothing happened. I promise.”
“I know, Hadley. I know because my text stopped you. I watched you two get closer and closer.” He shakes his head side to side as if he is erasing the memory. “So I sent that text and you two jumped apart. After that I went outside and waited in the car.”
“Braden.” I reach out for his hand but he pulls it off the table and places it in his lap. “I’m sorry.”
It’s all I can say. Nothing I do can make any of this right and nothing he says can fix any of this at the moment.
Silence fills the air, and I’m unsure what to say or do. I apologized, but it doesn’t feel like enough. Maybe I should call him a cab? I don’t know.
“I saw you tonight and you looked so beautiful, baby.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box. “I just wanted to drop to one knee and give this to you.”
A hitch in my breath causes me to literally choke up. He places the unopened box on the table just staring at it. Part of me wants to see what’s inside, though I have an idea and the other part of me doesn’t.
He twirls the box around. “I’ve had this for two months now but was just waiting for the perfect time. I was going to give it to you the same day I showed you my chevrons. Can you imagine how it felt to carry this around knowing the person I was going to ask to marry me was lying? Too bad all of the extra effort I put in the past few months wasn’t worth it.” He pushes back in his chair–picking up the box.
“I felt like we were falling apart.” I try to reason.
He shakes his head as he looks at the floor. “I did too but I didn’t want him to have you.”
I straighten my shoulders. “So all that extra attention wasn’t because you wanted me but because you didn’t want him to have me?”
He doesn’t answer my question but only lifts the box from his side. “You don’t deserve this.”
I watch, mouth agape, as he walks to the door. I’d stop him but his last words of me being undeserving simmer in my thoughts.
“Braden...”
His hand comes up to stop what I was going to say. “Don’t.”
I nod holding the door open for him. He places a kiss on my cheek and eyes me with disgust. “That’s the last time I will ever touch your lying, dirty skin. I wasted time and effort getting you to comply. I hate that my time invested in you was for nothing.”
With his last, harsh words he leaves.
Before I know it tears are streaming down my face. I run to my bed and crawl under the comforter hoping to keep the world away. It’s just too much to process.
Tonight put the final nail in the coffin on our relationship. How do you come back from this? Two people who hurt each other over the past couple of months.
All those things he did for me was in vain.
I throw a pillow over my head.
~~
An extremely loud banging awakens me. I try to pry my eyes
open. They are sealed shut from all the crying I did last night. The noise gets louder and I jump up, throwing the covers off of me and stomp to the front door. Taking a glance through the peephole, I find a wide-eyed Ryder waving a Styrofoam coffee cup in front of him.
I pull the door open, immediately grabbing the cup out of his hand and walk to my couch. Placing it down onto my coffee table, I lay across the couch, covering my eyes with my arm. I can hear his laugh get closer, and my legs are lifted up and then back down onto Ryder’s lap.
“What time is it?” I growl, but it turns more of a moan as his fingers go to work on my tired feet. Those heels did me in last night.
“Seven,” he says, his first word since walking in, making it sound sexy.
I peek out from under my arms, stealing a glance at him as he eyes the length of my legs. His left hand continues the ministrations on my feet but the right draws circles on top of my skin. He catches me watching him and smiles.
He looks relaxed and refreshed. His eyes glow against the rising morning sun and his dark hair is perfectly managed. He’s wearing a dark long sleeve shirt that must have been underneath the jacket he was wearing when I answered the door.
“You never texted me,” he says, no worry to his tone.
I sit straight up but he doesn’t allow me to move my feet. “I forgot. I’m so sorry.”
His hands glide over the smooth skin of my legs. “It’s fine. I made sure he left last night before I went home.”
“You were here?” I ask as I pick up the coffee and lift it towards him. “Thanks for this by the way.”
He smiles. “You’re welcome and yes. I wanted to make sure that there was no trouble but I left after he did. I hope that was okay?”
His question catches me off guard. “Of course it’s okay. After what happened last night I don’t blame you for being worried.”
“So,” I start to ask. “A cop, huh?”
He shakes his head laughing. “Yea. I figured after giving them a run for their money I would pay for my sins by becoming one.”
I nod. “I see.”
“Plus,” he wiggles his eyebrows, “I’m kinda into the handcuffs.”
My mouth opens wide in shock but he pats my legs. “Get dressed. We’ve got to go.”
The large sip of coffee I take burns my tongue. “Where are we going?”
My feet are lifted as he stands and turns them to the side. “To be free.” When I don’t make a motion to move he says, “It’s a surprise. Come on. Jeans and a t-shirt.”
I quickly got dressed, excited to find out what he has planned.
After our first stop at a diner just off Dundee Road that I pass all the time but never go in Ryder starts heading down Milwaukee Avenue towards Rosemont. When he pulls into the parking lot I look at the tall building–confused.
“What’s this?” I ask opening the door and stepping out of the car.
The temperature has taken a nose dive and I pull my jacket around me tighter.
He walks over to my side of the car, holding his elbow out for me to take “iFly,” he says. “Indoor skydiving. I assume you have never been here.”
I shake my head side to side and nerves take over my body. When I was younger I wanted to go skydiving and bungee jumping but as I grew older I got scared and realized those were very stupid risky things to do. But this–this is perfect.
We walk in just as they open and are immediately pulled into a room where they give us an overview of the signals and rules. Ryder sits next to me, his leg rubbing against mine, sending old feelings shooting through my body. It’s distracting, and I’m afraid I’m going to screw up my flight because of my lack of attention.
His shoulder nudges mine. “Are you okay? You seem like something is wrong.”
“Perfect,” I tell him, nudging him back. “Just nervous.”
He reaches down and grabs my hand into his, our fingers wrapping around one another. I’m not sure friends do this, but it’s comforting and even though a lot of our skin isn’t touching I can feel my body humming. “Nothing to be nervous about. I’ll be right there.”
When the class is over, the instructor takes us to another room for us to put our flight suit on. As I put the pink and purple material over my body my nerves start to go into overdrive. I sit on the bench and lower my head between my knees trying to calm myself down. When I feel I have myself in check I walk out and find Ryder in the same ugly suit as me but his is blue and green. He spins around slowly. “Like what you see?”
I laugh. “Very sexy,” I tell him as I pull my hair back into a ponytail.
He takes my hand into his again and we are led into another room. Its ceiling reaches the height of the building and in the middle of the room is a large glass tube that is currently occupied by what appears to be a ten year old. She is flying, doing flips and spinning around as the air below her keeps her body floating. The tube is surrounded by onlookers and they all clap everytime she does a flip.
Seeing a kid do it doesn’t ease my nerves. If anything, it makes it worse. I’m going to look like a fool out there.
Ryder squeezes my hand. “You’ll be fine.” He comforts me, seemingly reading my mind.
When it’s our turn Ryder allows me to go first and watches as the instructor leads me inside the glass.
As soon as my body hits the air I go flying up. My body floats effortlessly. I close my eyes–nerves disintegrated–and imagine myself flying over the ground, seeing the curvature of the earth. When I was a teenager my reasons behind wanting to skydive wasn’t for the risk. It was to see how small we all our in this big world. To see how each and every one of us make up such a large space. I can see that under my eyelids. When I open them, my eyes immediately lock onto Ryder’s deep blue ones just outside the glass. His teeth shine bright underneath his wide smile.
He did this for me. He wanted me to feel free and right now I’ve never felt freer. I forget all the hurt, all the drama, and just smile knowing that he gets me like no one ever really has.
When my time is up, I excitedly run out to his awaiting arms and jump into them. He picks me up with ease and our lips collide without hesitation. My body tenses. It wasn’t intentional but the spark that it ignited lit me on fire.
We pull apart, his blue irises meeting my green.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
He slides me down his body, dropping me to my feet and takes my cheeks into his hands. “I’m not.”
Placing a light kiss on my nose, he releases me and walks over to the instructor for his turn.
I stand there dumbfounded not only by the accidental kiss but also as I watch Ryder flip, turn and fly so high up in the glass that he disappears out of my line of sight. He’s had to have done this before.
After a few minutes of showing off, he walks out pretending to run to me as I did to him earlier. I outstretch my hands, laughing, as he mockingly tries to get me to catch him. This time though he purposely kisses me chastely on the lips.
My heart, the butterflies in my stomach, and mind all tell me I’m a goner.
The smile on Hadley’s face has made my week. Ever since she told me she feels like she lost herself I have made it my mission to figure out things that I could take her to do and show her that she can live life the way she wanted. The way she dreamed.
Last night was a game changer and a total mind fuck. I was shocked to see Hadley there dancing in the middle of the floor with Janie, our human resources girl. She looked amazing in that dress and that fucking slit up the side was my undoing. I watched her body sway and I wondered why the hell she was there. When a slow song came on I had to use the opportunity to snatch her up but I didn’t expect what followed to happen. I shouldn’t have been surprised that James was her boyfriend. The way he acted towards me after that first day I told him about Hadley should have been my first clue. When he had me change partners I was surprised. You just don’t put the new guy with a rookie. Granted I have been an officer for a few years now but I
wasn’t experienced enough in the Buffalo Grove department to take on a brand new guy. Now James, or Braden, or whatever the hell his name has just has been promoted to Sergeant. I’m not sure what that will mean for my happiness at the station but if winning Hadley back means I have to find another one then I’ll look at the surrounding areas. I want this girl and I don’t care what it takes to keep her.
Right now, though, taking it slow seems to be my best option, however, that little accidental kiss isn’t helping.
“You looked like Charlie and his grandpa when you flew up to the ceiling.” Hadley giggles from beside me in the car.
I laugh, confused. “What?”
“You know,” she starts, shifting in her seat to turn her body towards me. “In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when they drink that drink and it causes them to float to the ceiling.”
I think about that scene in the movie and laugh again. “Oh, yea. That’s funny.” I reach over squeezing her thigh and wink. “Can I call you my Chocolate Factory?”
Her brow scrunches in confusion, a stray hair falling into her face before she blows it away. “Why?”
I face the road again, turning left at the light. “So I can own you.”
She’s quiet and when I am stopped at another red light I look over. “Did I say something wrong?”
“You can’t own someone, Ryder.”
“I think that’s untrue.” I reach out pulling her chin so she is looking back at me. “You’ve owned me since our first kiss.”
Her tongue darts out to wet her lips and she snatches her lip up between her teeth. I’m mesmerized by the action until someone honks their horn. She doesn’t say another word until we reach her apartment.
She lets out a soft sigh looking up to her door. “Do you want to come in?”
“I can’t. I promised my sister I would stop by.”