by Amy Marie
He instantly calms down as he looks at my mother lovingly. “You’re right. I’m sorry. That man made me miserable when he was alive but I wouldn’t trade your mother for anything.”
That seemed too easy.
“But how can you be in love with him. Were you seeing him when you and Braden were together?” he asks.
“I never cheated on Braden but I wasn’t honest with him.” I begin to tell him the story of the past few months with a little help from my mom. When we’re finished with the meal and the talk I add, “And I’m not in love with Ryder. I just have some feelings stirring around inside that might be making a reappearance.”
My dad stands up as do I and brings me in for a hug. “I admit,” he says in my ear. “I’m not a fan of that family but I support you in whatever choice you make.”
I pull him closer and squeeze feeling a weight lifted off my shoulder. I didn’t come here to tell my dramatic story that has unfolded the past few months but I’m glad it’s out there.
“I need to get going. I have to work in the morning.”
They both hug me. When my mom pulls back she rubs her hands over my forehead. “You okay, sweetie? You feel warm.”
“I think so. Kinda tired. I’ll go straight to bed when I get home.”
She nods and I walk to my car. Once inside I check my phone and see a missed call from Ryder. I hit send and the ringing fills the Bluetooth in my car.
“Why hello, Spark,” he answers and I instantly smile.
“Hello there,” I say as I back out of the driveway and onto the street.
“I’ve missed your voice today,” Ryder says and I can hear clanging in the background.
“What’s the matter? No one to keep you in line today?”
“Nope,” he accentuates the pop of the “p” sound. “I’ve been kind of bad. You should come spank me.”
This causes me to have a full blown belly laugh. “You wish, Ryder.”
“I love that laugh, Hadley.” He groans. “But seriously. I have the paddle.”
Heat rises in my cheeks and all over my body. I imagine myself bent over his bed and him paddling me and it surprises me.
His voice comes over low and sensual over the speakers. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you? Thinking about spanking me, or even better me spanking you.”
“We’re friends, Ryder. Remember?”
“I do, however, friends don’t give sexy bedroom eyes to other friends when they are dropping them off at their house,” he says. “Did you want me to come in last night?”
I sigh because I did in fact want him to come in. “I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he relents. “Promise?”
“Yes.” I laugh just as a piercing pain shoots through my stomach.
Maybe I’m not feeling well.
“Night, Hadley.”
“Goodnight, Ryder,” I say hitting the end button and turning the car off after pulling into my parking spot.
I run into the house and make it to the bathroom in time to see my lasagna again.
As I walk the long hallway to the locker room of the police department on Monday morning I catch a few stares of my co-workers. Most of them come from the admin staff but I’m not looking forward to seeing my fellow officers. Even though I didn’t know that Hadley was James’ girlfriend it sure doesn’t help that I cornered her next to the DJ booth after I did find out.
“Shit, man. Sarge’s girlfriend!” Nate yells as soon as I enter the room. There are three other guys in there pretending to ignore us. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”
I throw my bag down on the bench and start to untie my shoes. I get more pissed as my laces snag. “I didn’t know she was his girlfriend, Nate. Shut the hell up.”
“Alright, man, but I don’t blame you. She is a hot piece.”
I raise my eyes to meet his giving him a glare that could strike him dead. “I said to shut your fucking mouth, Nate. The next time you talk about her like that I will kick your ass.”
Just when the last word leaves my mouth, the door opens again and James walks in. His vicious stare finds me, and I don’t dare to turn my back on him this time. I did that Saturday night and got sucker punched. He won’t get so lucky today. The locker room grows eerily quiet as everyone goes back to changing for our morning shift.
I take more time than I usually do and as I lean over to pull down the bottom of my pants he shoves me up against the lockers, his arm going to my neck, holding me there.
“Sarge, man.” Nate appears next to the two of us. “Let him go. He said he didn’t know that she was yours.”
His arm puts more pressure on me and I can feel the tightness in my throat. I could push him off of me but I’m letting him have his moment. I know how it feels to lose Hadley and I almost feel for him.
“She told me everything, Blake. Everything! I wasn’t going to go down without a fight.” He pushes off of my neck and walks towards the door.
I try to keep myself from saying what I’m thinking.
But it doesn’t work.
“From what I’ve heard you stopped fighting a long time ago, Braden.” I spit his name out and he whips around, his nose flaring like a bull. “Plus,” I add rubbing my jaw where he punched me Friday night. “You don’t have much fight in you.”
He launches towards me but is immediately held back by the other men in the room. I just stand there while he struggles against them. He swings but each time it misses me.
I cross my arms over my chest, showing that he doesn’t affect me. They let him go after he stops struggling. “Watch your back, Ryder.” He warns pointing a finger to my face before turning around and stalking out of the room.
“I’m not sure poking the bear was a great idea, Blake,” Nate comments as we get into our cruiser.
“Well, I’ll be sure to bring my hunting rifle next time,” I joke.
~~
A few hours later and two calls to Hadley that go unanswered, Nate and I are responding to a domestic disturbance in an apartment complex. It’s in one of the run down areas of the town where we get the most calls from.
Walking up the steps we can already hear commotion coming from inside the apartment. Nate bangs on the door three times.
“Buffalo Grove Police!” he calls out putting his hand on his gun. “Open the door.”
Things inside the apartment calm down and just as he is about to knock again the door flies open and a large white male comes barreling out knocking me into the wall. I get my bearings and point to the suspect. “You go after him!” I tell Nate before making my way inside.
Inside the apartment, on the floor, is a woman. She has short blonde hair, blue eyes surrounded by streaks of red with a busted lip and ripped shirt. “Is anyone else in the house, ma’am?” I ask.
She shakes her head no and as I kneel down beside her I hear a gun shot from the parking lot. I jump up, drawing my weapon, and run out the door. My feet scramble down the stairs and I take in the scene looking to find where the shots were fired. I hear Nate yelling from the east end of the lot and head that way. When I arrive, I find him lying on the ground one hand over his arm. Blood oozing from beneath his fingertips.
“You okay, man?” I ask while grabbing my radio.
“Fuck it hurts!” he yells. “But it’s just a flesh wound. I’ll be fine. Go get him.”
I look around for the suspect as I press the button to ask for back up. “This is Officer Blake requesting back...”
Bang!
Bang!
~~
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The machine goes off every few seconds as I sit and watch as Nate gets the full check up. He seems unaffected by what happened but I’m a bit freaked out. The suspect missed hitting me in the head by mere inches. I could feel the bullets as they zoomed by. I chased after him on foot but ended up losing him. The entire department is still looking for the suspect.
It took a lot of convincing for the victim to p
ress charges and file a restraining order. She gave us his name and information but by the time we arrived at his residence he was no longer there. We put an officer outside her apartment until we can find the fucker that busted her up. I will never get why a man would want to hurt a woman. Does it make them feel superior because let me tell you that I would bow down at Hadley’s feet if she would let me. I couldn’t imagine hitting her let alone just raising my hand at her. You see a lot of that in my line of work–men who don’t know the worth of their women and women who forget it themselves.
Nate coughs and then cringes. Guilt racks my body as I watch him. I was the one who told him to go after the guy. It could have been a hell of a lot worse if when he got shot his gun went flying. The suspect could have turned back and finished. Instead he decided to run but not before taking a shot, literally, at me.
I got really lucky that he was a shit shooter. Once we got her statement and I gave mine I drove the hospital to meet up with the ambulance that took Nate. I called Hadley’s phone nonstop. She was all I could think about. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and have her tell me it was okay. In all my time as an officer I have never been shot at. It seems dumb to say that my life flashed before my eyes. It didn’t. But my future did. I saw myself old and gray with the love of my life next to me and I just knew I needed to be okay for her. After the first and second missed shot, I thought for sure he wouldn’t stop until he hit me too. Thankfully, he did.
“Oh my God, baby! Are you okay?” Cathy, Nate’s wife, cries as she runs into the room. She startles him awake and he smiles. “They called me but your mom wouldn’t let me drive over here alone. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
He opens his arms and she falls into them, sobbing. “I’m okay, Cath. I promise. I’m fine. This is all for show,” he tells her pointing to all the machines while attempting to calm her down.
I take that as my cue to leave and pull my phone out of my pocket for round three of “Where in the world is Hadley?” I’ve played this game before and I’m not interested in a repeat.
Still no answer. Maybe I scared her off on Saturday night while we were at my sister’s house. I meant every word. She is worth giving everything up for. Right now I don’t care what her reasons for leaving were for. I just know that she is here now and I won’t let her go again.
I try her number one more time. I bring my wrist up, glancing at my watch, and see its past four in the afternoon. I try her work line for the third time and get nothing. An uneasy feeling overwhelms me and use my final resource before looking like a stalker and go to Hadley’s apartment. I dial up Jace.
“Hey, man,” he answers after the second ring. I can hear weights being slammed down in the background of the gym he owns.
“Hey! I hate to ask and I know you’re busy at work but can I get Noelle’s number from you? I can’t get a hold of Hadley and I’m starting to get worried,” I tell him practically begging for his help. I know he is trying to move on from Noelle choosing Trent over him. From what I’ve heard the co-owner of his gym, Valerie, would love to help him along. AJ said she has wanted him for years.
“Sure.” He offers and tells me he will text it to me so I hang up and wait for what feels like an hour before the text comes in. I don’t hesitate to call her.
“Noelle Grant of Events Unlimited, how can I help you?” Her pleasant voice comes through the receiver.
“Hi, Noelle. This is Ryder Blake. I’m looking for Hadley.” I channel my inner third grader and cross my fingers that she doesn’t hang up on me.
Silence.
“Hello?”
“Yea.” She laughs. “I’m here. I was just letting you sweat it out for a minute.”
I roll my eyes. I’ve heard stories about crazy Noelle and how she doesn’t play nice sometimes. I resort to begging. “Please, Noelle. I know you don’t know me that well but I’m not looking to hurt her. I just want to make sure she is okay. I haven’t heard from her all day and I’m starting to get concerned.”
“Come to the Starbucks on Lake Cook. I’ll give you the key to her house.” She covers the phone up as she speaks to someone else.
I wait until she finishes talking to them before asking, “Why would I need the key to her house?”
“Because she is sick, douche twat,” she says it like I should know and almost makes me second guess if I should have. “I was going to check on her in a bit but I just got roped into another client meeting. It’s a win win situation. You get to clean up her puke and I don’t.”
I feel bad. I wish I would have known she wasn’t feeling well. I talked to her last night and she sounded fine. “How is that a win for me?”
“You get to clean up her puke and I don’t,” she repeats like I’m stupid.
I laugh as I hang up and walk back into Nate’s room. His wife has crawled up onto the bed with him and has fallen asleep.
“The doctor said I’ll be out of here soon. Go home,” he tells me.
“Nate, I’m so...” I start but he cuts me off.
“I swear if you apologize I’m going to find a new partner. Don’t pussy out on me now.”
We say our goodbyes and I leave to get the key from Noelle.
~~
I saw Noelle in the bar that one night a few months back but since it’s been a while I forgot how stunning she is, though she has nothing on Hadley. She is sitting in a booth next to a large window looking out towards the parking lot. Her toned legs peek out of a dark green dress and she’s wearing black boots. The golden locks of her hair are piled on top of her head and her undivided attention is on a man dressed in a white polo shirt. I swear if he flexes the shirt will rip. A hat is covering his dark brown hair and they are so close that they border on kissing distance.
“Is this your client meeting?” I jokingly ask as I approach the table.
She turns a vicious stare towards me, and I stumble. “As a matter of fact it is. This is Trent Decker, who owns Decker Construction and he’s hired me to plan his weekend for him. It consists of me tying his sexy ass to the bed and fucking him senseless. I’m doing this pro bono of course. I’d hate to be called a prostitute.” She smirks.
Trent chuckles and extends his hand towards me. “Trent Decker, Noelle’s fiancé.”
“I heard.” I laugh. “I’m Ryder Blake, Noelle’s current tongue lashing victim.”
His handshake is firm. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” I comment letting go.
“Okay, ladies, is the sleepover done?” she asks holding out her hand with a key in it. “Here is the key. She probably has the flu so make sure you get a mask and a lot of Lysol before you head over there.”
I take it from her. “Thank you so much.”
“Thank YOU. Now I won’t have to restock my cabinets in Airborne. Tell her to make sure that shit is gone before she comes back to work.”
I wave and leave them to their meeting. Walking back to my car, I think about Noelle and Trent. Sure Jace got hurt, and he is my friend, but you could see from a distance that they are meant to be. I wonder if people would see the same thing if they observed Hadley and me. Would they see a couple who could never make it work or would they see the soul mates that I feel like we are. I don’t care. I just want to get to Hadley.
I’m going to die.
This has to be the end. I can feel it.
Soon I will see the bright light and I’ll have no choice but to follow it and hope that I get into Heaven’s doors.
My head is pounding. My ears hurt and my eyes won’t stop watering. I’ve gone through two boxes of Kleenex and due to the constant vomiting I’ve had to change my clothes three times. The last time I didn’t bother putting new ones on.
So here I lie in my bed, panties only, on top of my covers, with my head hanging over the side so that if I puke again I’ll be sure to hit the bucket I placed down on the floor.
I can hear my phone ringing in the distance though I swear its right next to me. My arms are too heavy to r
each out and grab it. I can barely push back the hair that is stuck to my face.
I glance over at the clock finding the bright light of it offensive and see it’s just after four o’clock. My phone rings again but all it does is lull me back to sleep.
The closing of my door startles me awake but I can’t muster the energy to grab the gun in my nightstand or even just lift my head to see who it is. Running through the day I figure Noelle has come to check on me since I left a message early this morning that I was dying and would like her to clear my Google searches. Who looks up zombie porn images anyways?
A cold compress hits my forehead and it’s euphoric, instantly easing my headache. Warm hands rub up and down my back but they are too large to be Noe’s.
“Hadley,” Ryder’s sweet tone calls out. “What can I do for you?”
“Bucket...” I moan out feeling another wave of nausea.
Ryder sounds confused. “Bucket?”
Before I can answer I lean over further and empty the nonexistent contents of my stomach.
His hands drag along and pull my hair away from my mouth before he continues to rub my back. “It’s okay. Get it out.”
“Go home, Ryder. I don’t want you to see this,” I warn him, attempting to push him away from me when the vomiting subsides.
He ignores me, taking the bucket away. I hear his footsteps lead into my bathroom, the flushing of the toilet and the running of the water in the bathtub tells me he is cleaning up after me.
I bet I look sexy now.
The bed dips behind me and the last thing I remember before I fall back asleep is the soft caress of my hair beneath his touch.
~~
“Hadley,” his voice softly calls out again. I look up, finding it’s now nine o’clock at night. Noticing I can actually move I turn over finding Ryder sitting on the edge of the bed. His dark blue eyes look concerned, and his hair is matted down on one side.