After the Kiss

by Violet Williams

  And then I'd met Max.

  "I'm not sure what you mean," I said quietly after a moment. I concentrated on the hum of her computer, flexing my toes in my boots. My eyes darted to her bookshelves, and then the old clock ticking on the wal . Anything except the feel of her eyes on me.

  Dr. Howell wasn't a stupid woman, and she so wasn't buying my naiveté.

  "Hm," she said curtly. "If you don't have anything you want to discuss that would explain your flagrant disregard to your coursework..." She let her words trail off, obviously trying to coach some sort of response from me.

  I disappointed her. "I don't have any excuse. I've just been busy doing, uh, stuff."

  "I see." She crossed her legs and with a sigh that sent guilt shuttling through me. "The field experience is twenty percent of your final grade, Miss Rivers. Per your syllabus, you were supposed to start volunteering two weeks ago. With only a few weeks left of class before exams, your opportunities to fol ow through are limited."

  "I know," I said, clearing my throat. "I was planning on starting this week."

  "And you are aware it is Wednesday, better known as the middle of the week?"

  "And you are aware that there are two more days in the week, better known as Thursday and Friday?"

  When it rol ed out, I felt the shock that was personified on her weathered face. It was obvious she rarely got lip from her students. And honestly, my annoyance was real y geared at the Max situation. Why couldn't I cal him on his shit? Not only was he out of line and obnoxious, but I'd let it ripple out of control and shake the foundation of 3+ years of hard work.

  "I'm sorry," I said truthful y. I tucked a braid behind my ear and I made a silent promise to Dr. Howell, to myself, to do better. "I will begin my field experience this week."

  She gave me a smal nod and she slid from her chair. She opened her door and the busy sounds rushed back into the tiny room. "Wel I have other appointments, thank you for stopping by."

  I grabbed my purse and rose to my feet. "Thanks for meeting with me, Dr. Howell." I pushed out of her office, planning a beeline to get me out of there while I stil had my head.

  "Babe?"

  Out of the sea of voices, his found me. Deep, thick notes wrapped around my vocal chords and made my heart stutter in my chest. Max.

  He broke apart from a crowd of his fraternity brothers and walked to the doorway where I stood. His arms circled me like tentacles as he shoved his mouth on mine. I kissed him back half-heartedly. I used to look forward to his kisses like my next breath. But I knew him better now. Knew the difference between the guy I rarely saw these days, replaced by the cocky one that grinned as his friends made hoots and catcal s from a few feet away.

  I started to move away, but he threw an arm around my shoulder and pul ed me closer.

  "What's up?"

  "Just meeting with Dr. Howel ."

  He turned his cool eyes to her, sizing her up before his gaze returned to me. "What's wrong?"

  Damn it. I'd tried to be strong, but he saw right through it. Saw that I was rattled. "It's nothing. Let's just go."

  "No," he snapped. His cheeks flushed and he set his angular jaw. "Did she say something to you?"

  I raised an eyebrow. He couldn't be serious. It was one thing to beat up a TA and a waiter, but bul ying a professor? "She didn't say anything, Max."

  The air around the three of us was electric with tension. It was like a rubber band pul ed so tight that the smal est movement would snap it and set the whole corridor on fire.

  And then he said it. "I'd hope she didn't say anything to you. Because accidents happen.

  Al the time."

  My mouth fel open. I didn't have any words. He was threatening my professor!

  I stole a look at her, expecting my tied tongue to be more than fil ed in by a few choice words from her. She didn't take crap from anyone.

  But she didn't say a thing.

  Before I could apologize for him, Max gripped me and pul ed me away, but not before he cast a final smoldering glance Dr. Howel 's way.

  Once we mingled back up with his group of loyal fol owers, I took one last chance. I wanted to look at her, at least explain that I didn't support what my boyfriend was dishing out.

  Fear. It was a language he was fluent in.

  When I caught Dr. Howel 's gaze before we disappeared around the corner, it was colored with an emotion I was intimately familiar with. She was just as afraid as I was.

  ****

  TONY/DEMETRIUS

  BRisque should have been my kind of place. Hot and steamy; packed with a plethora of impossibly beautiful women that reeked of sex; encapsulated by loud, pulsing music that made it impossible to do anything more than listen to the beat of lust that reverberated around the dimly lit bar. It should have been perfect.

  I'd been glad when Boris was shepherded away to the champagne room. He'd delivered on one of the delinquent accounts. The girl that led the way had lit up like Christmas morning when she saw his fistful of hundred dol ar bil s. Would she think about the man left bloody in his corner store while she gyrated for her cut?

  I gave my head a shake. The day to day of working for Kournikova afforded a couple of things: an extensive list of reasons they'd al burn in hel if there was such a place, an intimate knowledge of the rainbow of colors bruises came in, and the symphony of sounds a person could make when given the proper incentive. But it was wearing on me, even Chief could hear it in my voice when he debriefed me. He'd practical y ordered me to go out with the guys, bury myself in something warm and tight.

  I took a long drag off my cigarette and held it in until the buzz made my eyes glaze. A dark skinned woman with buzzed short hair and a devilish smile sauntered over and even the cloud of smoke I released couldn't hide her beauty. She was decked out in a blood red bra that barely contained her fleshy breasts and a stringy thong that I could almost feel between my teeth as I pul ed it down and off. I ached to get to the heart of her. She could be mine tonight.

  Inside her, I could forget it al .

  She rocked her hips from left to right, and the strand of baubles around her hips made a lusty jingle. Her body cal ed to me, each inflection as she moved to the music making it hard to deny my attraction.

  She straddled me adeptly and swirled in teasing motions and my erection rose up to meet her, fighting to feel her, to dive between her dark thighs.

  I stubbed out my cigarette in the ash tray beside me and gripped her buttocks good and hard as she leaned in with a moan.

  "You're gonna get me in trouble, touching me like that."

  She tried to pul back, but I stopped her, gripping her neck tight--not painful y so, but enough that she bit her lip. "Don't you like trouble?"

  Her midnight eyes glittered as she licked her lips. "N-Not here."

  I fol owed her to the back. The regulars shot me a look of jealousy. They could only dream about the VIP treatment. It was reserved for Kournikova's men, and strictly enforced. Any girl that fucked anyone outside of his employ lived to regret it.

  As she shut the door and began to shed what little clothes covered her thick frame, the carnal pul in me beckoned her to come closer. The mirrors glittered around, her sex, hidden by a modest strip of earthy colored curls, promised me pleasures. No strings. No drama.

  She leaned down to kiss me, her tongue expertly swirling around my own as she fumbled with my belt. But even with my eyes closed, going through the motions, I couldn't pretend. My head wouldn't let me be.

  "Stop," I said hoarsely, tilting my head away.

  She kept teasing, vulgarly pumping her hips into my crotch to show me what she had in store.

  "What?" she said hotly. "I know you want me."

  "We're done here." I breathed in nice and deep, trying to snuff out the flame in me.

  She stopped moving, but was stil glommed to my lap, her chocolate nipples swol en to peaks. "I-I could get another girl?"

  "That's not necessary." I shoved her back and she staggered in her s
trappy heels.

  The confident swagger faded and desperation laced her voice. "Are you into kinky stuff?

  Whatever you want-"

  "I don't want you." It was the truth. But who did I want? The dark skinned beauty with promise or the one who got away?

  Her glossy lip trembled. "B-but if you tel Nikolai..." She stepped toward me. "I've got a son. He's real sick..."

  I listened to her tale. Apparently she was new at the club. Once Nikolai got his hooks and found out about her son, he offered to foot the bil as long as she stayed in line.

  Jesus. She thought I'd tel Nikolai she disappointed me. And then he’d-I tried to quiet her fears. "Whatever did or didn't happen between the two of us is between the two of us." I fished out a bil and handed it to her.

  She crossed her arms against her chest and mumbled a thank you. I couldn’t take the tension so I headed out before I did something I’d regret.

  As I walked toward the back exit, passing closed doors, moans filtering through the wood, I wondered how many of the other girl's had similar stories. Nikolai had turned them into prostitutes, sel ing their bodies to keep their secrets. Keep loved ones alive.

  I pushed into the crisp night, pul ing up the col ar of my coat. Hundreds of miles separated us, countless nights, countless women. But the person I real y wanted was seared into my flesh.

  I flipped open the cel . I'd erased her number, but I plunked the buttons easily and put the phone to my ear. Most times it went straight to voicemail. Even that would suffice tonight. I just wanted to hear her.

  "Hel o?" Her throaty voice sung from the other end. I knew the rasp. She'd been sleeping, her lithe frame cuddled up in those satin sheets she loved.

  "Katie." I swal owed. "H-How are you?"

  I heard her rearranging, probably propping herself up on her iron headboard. Was her hair tied on the top of her head with those mahogany curls I loved so much? "Jesus, Tony. You know what time it is?" She didn't wait for me to answer. "Is everything okay?"

  "Everything's great," I lied. "Working a case, it's a pretty big one. Keeping me busy."

  "That's good."

  "How you been?"

  "Same old same, real y." She let out a weary sigh. "You gotta stop cal ing me. Nothing has changed. I haven't changed."

  Her words were like a slap to the face. "Wel , I'l let you go back to sleep."

  "Tony-"

  "Sorry I cal ed." I flipped the phone closed and held it for a moment before slipping it back into my pocket.

  My fingers tingled with the bite of the cold breeze and I shoved them in my jacket, rounding the corner. Just as I was about to bathe myself in the darkness, turn back and fuck the stripper, I saw her.

  She was more ravishing than I remembered. Her braids were piled on top of her head, drawing the eye to her neck. My eyes trailed down to her sequined minidress that glittered beneath the street lamp. Her legs were decked in tights and thigh high boots. When I locked my eyes on hers, I smiled. My first genuine one al day. "Ebony."

  Her cheeks flushed and she took a cautious step toward me. "Hi! Demetrius, right?"

  "That's right," I said smoothly.

  Her friend pushed to the forefront, jutting out her hand. While Ebony was al uring, her friend put it al out there in a skin tight, blood red dress. "I'm Liani."

  I shook it. "What are you girls doing here?"

  "Ladies night at BRisque, of course," Liani said, batting her eyes flirtatiously. She wrapped an arm around Ebony’s shoulder. "You should come have a drink with us."

  I glanced at Ebony, her round dark eyes staring out from her thick lashes. The heat that rushed to her cheeks immediately rushed to my crotch.

  "Y-Yes," she said after a moment. "You should join us."

  "Actual y, I'm headed home. Work in the morning." I shot the last bit at her and her eyes fel to the ground. Good, because if I kept looking into these eyes...

  "That's too bad," Liani pouted. "And we couldn't convince you? Because I-"

  "Wel , I'm freezing," Ebony cut in, pul ing her friend to the line. "It was nice seeing you."

  I didn't trust my lips so I just gave her a nod and turned on my heels. It was strange. It wasn't even my name, but the sound of it on her lips made me tingle from head to toe.

  4

  EBONY

  Liani danced past me, stil wiggling her hips to some imaginary music. The only notes I was hearing loud and clear were the ones that wanted to sing me a lul aby. I was exhausted, and not from a night out with half priced drinks and the stylings of al my favorite songs, ripped and remixed by the DJ at BRisque.

  No--I was wore out from babysitting Liani al night. I should have known from the get go that it was gonna be one of those nights. She'd tried to go out in this bodystocking getup with blood red lingerie underneath. I'm no more of a prude than the next girl, but when I gave her a friendly reminder that her fiancé was abroad, being GI Joe and what not, she'd opted for something a little less scandalous.

  Liani and I'd bonded over our psycho biology professor freshman year and became fast friends. While she opted for pre-med instead of education, we both seemed more preoccupied with our studies instead of partying. Wel , at least until Liani's mother got sick. They were crazy close, the kind of mom and daughter duo that were genuine friends. The only gift I'd ever gotten from my mother was life and honestly, I was jealous of Liani and her mother. It's why I cut her slack about her new habit of turning our economy apartment into some boarding house for her trysts after their rambunctious parties. It's why when she started making out with random chicks at BRisque when she didn't have a lesbian bone in her body, I just switched on chaperone mode, getting the bartender to water down her drinks.

  She staggered to the fridge and pul ed out two Smirnoffs. "A nightcap?"

  "No," I groaned, kicking off my boots. I ran a weary hand to my ponytail and released a bundle of braids that spil ed down my back. I needed a shower. "You should do the same, girl—

  don’t you have lab in the morning?"

  "Don't remind me." She swiped a bag of potato chips and cradled the booze before giving me a salute. "Nite."

  I watched her trudge to her bedroom and close the door with a thud. I felt like I should say something, do something. She was my best friend after al and she was hurting. I chewed on my nail before padding to her door.

  I heard the purr of the TV. "Liani?" When I didn't hear anything, I knocked harder.

  The room went silent. "What?"

  "Are you okay?"

  She didn't respond for a long, painful moment. I told myself she didn't hear me and opened my lips, gearing to repeat myself.

  "I'm fine." The sound came rushing back at me and I stood there, hearing the hiss as she cracked open the bottle and unmuted the volume on her TV.

  I turned back to my room. At least she knew that I tried. That I was there for her, if she needed me.

  I pushed into my room and breezed to the bathroom, twisting the nozzle on the shower. I dipped my hand beneath the warming water, watching it dive up and down my flesh. When my mind flitted back to him, I snapped from the water, pul ing my dress over my head. I couldn't go there. I couldn't lust after Demetrius. I mean, if Max tore into someone for not kissing his ass, or threatened people that he thought wronged me, what the hel would he do if he knew what was going on between me and one of the people in his dad's employ?

  And what was going on between me and Demetrius? It was confusing--we'd said maybe a handful of sentences to each other. But I was drawn to him, wanting to touch and feel him.

  Wanting to know him inside and out. It was exhilarating. When I'd seen him outside of BRisque, my heart literal y skipped a beat. When he'd taken me in and a smile played at his thick lips, I'd felt a burst of pride. And then when Liani shoved forward and thrust her tits out, I'd felt something else: Jealousy.

  I stood, bare in front of the mirror. A longing burned in the heart of me. It wasn't for Max's luminescent arms tight around me, no--it was for Demetrius
caramel skin delving and cording around me as he held me close and whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

  I gave my head a shake and stepped into the shower, hoping the shards of water would dul my irrational attraction. I leaned forward on the tile wall and let the cool cascade over my flesh.

  "Enough," I said hoarsely, trying to banish those navy eyes of his, the danger I saw there. Was that it? I was roped in by the things I knew he did. The people he beat to a pulp for Nikolai.

  I shook my head again, twisting my braids into a bun and grabbing my scrunchie from the side shelf. I plopped my shower cap on and massaged my neck with slow, deliberate pulses.

  It couldn't be the danger. Max oozed it, and at the end of the day, that terrified me.

  I grabbed my soap and loofah and worked up a lather that I coated my arms with. Maybe it was the taboo nature of it al . The fact that he was older. And off limits. But even that didn't feel right.

  God damn it--how could I stop this, end it before anyone got hurt? Before al the reasons we shouldn't paled in comparison to the reasons we should?

  I let the loofah drop. I bent over and a wave of dejavu hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered seeing him when he stepped from behind Nikolai when we'd met. That playful smirk. The softness behind the hard set of his jaw.

  "Demetrius," I said quietly. I rol ed his name on my tongue, savoring it as I stepped beneath the warm spray. Swallowing my reservations, I let the loofah drop back to the tub floor.

  I used my hands instead.

  The velvet, perfumed suds were like silk as I ran my hands up and down my arms, remembering the gooseflesh there when he'd handed off my bra. We'd only touched for a moment, but I could remember the cal ous brush of his fingertip before my embarrassment took hold. Hands that were used to work. Hands that I knew would know how to love a woman.

  I bit my lip as my hands fel to my chest, skating over my breasts and taut nipples, sliding down past my tummy. I knew where I wanted to be, the molten core between my thighs that ached. I wanted him, sheathed inside me, but my fingers would have to do.