Redemption 03 - Return

by Smalley, Gary; Kingsbury, Karen

  “Eighteen.” Cole’s voice rose a notch as he caught the ball and tossed it back to her. “Nineteen.”

  Ashley pressed her toes into the cool grass and pictured Landon, the way he’d looked the last time she saw him, telling her he loved her from the hallway elevator near her hotel room. He needed to move on. She could offer him none of the stability and future he deserved.

  The irony was unbelievable. All her life she’d known she was wrong for Landon. She’d fought his attempts at a relationship and convinced herself that she didn’t feel anything but friendship for him. Then—just when she finally realized how wrong she’d been, just when she’d recognized how very much she longed for him and loved him—the blood test came. And with it, a full-circle trip right back to the way she’d felt in the beginning.

  She was all wrong for Landon Blake.

  “Twenty-two!” Cole caught the ball and jumped up and down with it. “Here we go, Mommy. It’s the dropsy record!”

  Maddie and Hayley stopped collecting pretty rocks and came over to watch them. They stood a few feet from Cole, their eyes wide, ready to celebrate if Cole gave the signal.

  He tossed the ball to her, and though it was a little to the side, Ashley lunged for it and caught it with one hand. “Twenty-three!” She held the ball high and turned to Cole. He was dancing in a circle, moving his fists back and forth in the air and shouting, “We did it! We broke the dropsy record!”

  Brooke’s two girls formed a circle with Cole, and the three of them held hands and did a dance that got faster and faster until they collapsed in a pile on the grass, giggling and tickling and talking all at the same time.

  Ashley watched them, but all she could think was God, what’ll happen to Cole if I don’t make it?

  Something near the parking lot caught Ashley’s attention, and she turned. A man was walking their way, and at first she figured she had to be wrong. Her heartbeat picked up and her mouth hung open. It couldn’t be—he never would have come here, not when he was supposed to be in New York.

  But as he came closer she was convinced beyond any doubt.

  Her brother, Luke, was making his way down the grassy hill toward the place where her parents were setting up dinner.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  JOHN WAS REACHING into the cooler, pulling out the bags of preformed meat patties, when he noticed Ashley, Kari, and Ryan staring at something behind him. Before he had time to turn around, Elizabeth touched his elbow and nodded toward the parking lot.

  “Did we leave something in the—”

  He never finished his sentence.

  Because when he looked over his shoulder to the place where his family was focused, what he saw made his heart take wing. There, walking toward him with slow, deliberate steps was Luke. And for the first time in a year, he wasn’t scowling or smirking or rolling his eyes.

  He was smiling.

  Luke…his son—his only son—was walking toward him, faster now than before, his entire face lit up.

  Beside John, Elizabeth uttered a quiet gasp and took hold of his arm. “John…”

  “It’s okay.” He looked at his wife and patted her hand. “Let me.”

  His knees shook and his feet moved like lead, but he took a step toward Luke, and then another and another until just a few yards separated them. It was then that John could see something else, something besides the once-familiar smile.

  His son was crying.

  “Dad…” Luke held out his hands and stumbled the last few steps as he fell into John’s arms—and into an embrace that held fast for what felt like a moment and a lifetime all at once. Luke was a bit taller than John, but he buried his face in John’s shoulder, clinging to him the way he’d done when he was a boy.

  John wanted to say something, but words could never have captured the tidal wave of emotion crashing around his heart. Instead he held on, rocking Luke, letting him sob as he spoke a string of apologies into John’s T-shirt.

  “I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t know what I was doing…I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” John whispered the words, because a whisper was all that would squeeze past the lump in his throat. “You’re home now, Luke. It’s okay.” He drew back and squinted. The boy must’ve been crying for a while before getting to the beach, because his eyes were swollen and bloodshot.

  “I can’t believe I’m here. I thought…I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

  John tilted his head and placed his hand along the side of Luke’s face. “You don’t know how I’ve prayed for this moment, Son.”

  “Yes.” Luke gulped back another sob and gave a strong nod of his head. “Yes, I do know. Because I’ve prayed about it too.”

  John blinked, but before he could say anything, he heard the shuffling of feet behind him—many feet. In a slow rush of bodies and arms and cries of “Welcome home, Luke,” and “Thank God you’re okay,” and “We missed you,” each of the Baxters—even the youngest grandchildren—formed a circle around John and Luke. They pressed in close for a hug, an embrace that erased time and told all of them that no matter how far they strayed, they would always be welcomed home.

  Tears came for most of them, until Cole popped his head up near the center of the circle. “Hey—” he looked at the faces around him—“what about Papa’s hamburgers?”

  Laughter softened the moment, and they drew back enough to see Luke, to study him and let him see how much he’d been missed. John had a dozen questions, but they would come later. He was about to wave Luke toward the barbecue pit when Luke held up his hand.

  “I’ve made a lot of bad choices this year, and I’m sorry.” He sniffed hard and stood a bit straighter than before. “I owe each of you an explanation.” He looked at the ground, and shame shadowed his features. When he lifted his face, a seriousness flashed in his eyes. “But first, I have something to tell you.”

  John wiped his cheeks and waited. Whatever Luke wanted to say, it was important. And apparently it couldn’t wait another minute. John watched Luke and Ashley exchange a look, and he had a strong feeling that whatever Luke was about to say, she already knew.

  Luke cleared his throat and let his eyes travel to each of his siblings—Brooke and Peter, Kari and Ryan, Erin and Sam, Ashley—and finally to Elizabeth and John. “Reagan and I have…we have a son.”

  The words were out, but their reality was floating somewhere in the breeze above them. Elizabeth looped her arm through John’s and leaned on him, but John wondered if he could hold her up. What was Luke talking about? Reagan was in New York. Luke hadn’t seen her since September 11.

  A son?

  The idea was as impossible as Luke’s presence among them that day.

  The three young Baxter cousins had scampered off a few feet down the hill, tired of the adult conversation. But the others maintained their places. Ashley shifted her gaze to the ground, while the others’ mouths hung open. None of them seemed to know what to say.

  Elizabeth recovered first. “Luke…whatever do you mean, honey?”

  Luke made small circles in the dirt with the toe of his tennis shoe. When he met their eyes again, he was more composed, and something close to hope cast a light over his expression. “Before Reagan left for New York, the two of us—” he dropped his gaze again before looking up at John—“the two of us let things go too far.” His look shifted to Elizabeth. “I didn’t know about the baby until two weeks ago, when Ashley told me.”

  John looked at his daughter and saw relief mix with a hint of guilt. So she had known. Thank heaven Luke had felt comfortable talking to one of them. He turned back to Luke and waited.

  “When I found out I had a son, I broke things off with Lori and moved in with Ashley. But then I went to New York.” He hesitated and let his gaze go around the circle again. “I’ve been there for the past week.”

  “So you really have a son?” The question came from Kari, who still had a sleeping Jessie cradled against her shoulder.

  “I do.” For
the first time since his initial walk down the hillside, Luke grinned. “His name is Thomas Luke and—” he looked at Elizabeth—“he looks just like me, Mom.”

  Elizabeth covered her mouth, and this time she closed the distance between herself and Luke with a long hug. When she pulled back, tears sparkled on her cheeks, and she made a sound that was mostly laugh. “When do we get to meet him?”

  “I’m not sure.” Luke moved a step closer so they could all hear him. “He’s with Reagan in New York still. It’s a long story, and, well, I’ll tell you all about it later. But I knew Sam and Erin were leaving tomorrow and I had to be here.” His eyes met John’s and held. “One last time, so we could all be together.”

  The evening passed too quickly, but through every minute Luke knew he’d found his way home. The people he’d grown up loving the most had saved a place for him at the table, believing he’d come back one day. And now he had.

  It was obvious from his family’s reaction that Ashley hadn’t said anything to them—not about his leaving Lori or moving in with her and Cole, or having a baby in New York City. And obviously not about her blood test. Before the end of the night, he pulled her aside.

  “Have you seen your doctor?” They were packing up after the picnic.

  Ashley gave a nervous glance at the others up the hill. “Not yet.”

  “You haven’t told Dad?” Luke held a stack of folded beach chairs. “Come on, Ash.”

  “I will.” Her tone was low, agitated. “Give me time, Luke.”

  “Dad can help you.” He stopped and stared up the beach to the place where Cole was helping Maddie carry a pail full of rocks toward the picnic table. His eyes found Ashley again. “You owe it to Cole.”

  “Fine.” She began trudging up the hill toward the others. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. After Erin and Sam leave.”

  Luke took a few steps then stopped. “Wait.”

  “What?” She paused long enough to look at him over her shoulder.

  “Have you heard from Landon?”

  A terrible sadness fell across Ashley’s face, and she gave a slight shake of her head. “We’re finished. I told you that.”

  “He hasn’t called?” The truth of that awed Luke. From everything Reagan had told him, Landon had planned to marry Ashley. It was hard to believe he’d given up so easily. Even in light of Ashley’s blood test.

  “Look, I asked him not to.” Ashley’s eyes welled up. “I asked him to get on with his life. That’s what he’s doing.”

  Luke followed Ashley to the car. An hour later, everyone gathered at their parents’ house, except Sam and Erin, who still had last-minute packing to do. When they were all seated around the living room, Luke admitted how crazy he’d been to believe for a single day that God didn’t exist.

  “When did you know?” His mother sat curled up next to his father on the old plaid sofa. Her tone was curious, without a hint of condemnation.

  “The moment I looked at little Tommy.”

  Kari chuckled across the room and leaned her head on Ryan’s shoulder. “Kids have a way of doing that to you.”

  “That’s for sure.” Brooke nodded. She and Peter sat on the same sofa, but not next to each other.

  “Okay.” Luke looked at the faces around him. He hadn’t been sure he’d tell them this part, but the time seemed right. “You want the rest of the story?”

  His mother’s left eyebrow lifted a bit. “There’s more?”

  “Quite a lot, actually.” He rubbed his hands together and released a nervous chuckle. His eyes found his father’s. “Reagan and I are getting married on Christmas Eve. We’ll have the wedding in New York.”

  A collective sigh seemed to make its way around the room. Nothing audible. Just a feeling that he’d done something very good. Had he been part of a conversation like this any time in the past year, their reactions would’ve irritated him. But now the quiet response told him something he was just realizing: If he was true to himself, his reactions would almost always mirror theirs. Because he was a Baxter. He’d been raised to do what was right, and he’d been happiest when he lived that way. When he didn’t…well, he was plain old miserable. The way he’d been for most of the past year.

  His mother made a polite cough and caught his attention. “What about school?”

  “School.” Luke nodded. He and Reagan had thought through every detail, and his education was certainly part of the picture. “I’ll transfer to one of the universities in New York City, but not until after we get married. I’ll take next semester off and work to save some money.” He glanced around the room. “I took a full load this summer, so taking time off won’t set me behind.”

  Again his mother had a question. “Where…where will you live?”

  Luke sensed that his announcement—the part about moving away—was hardest on her. “With Reagan and her mother—in her brother’s room until after we’re married.” The smile he could feel tugging at the corners of his mouth was a sad one. “We talked about waiting until after our wedding for me to move there, but I can’t do it. I’ll move there in a few weeks. After Kari and Ryan’s wedding. I don’t want to miss a minute with Reagan and Tommy.”

  “Wow.” Kari grinned at him from across the room. “That’s wonderful, Luke.”

  Ryan nodded. “You’ll love Manhattan. At least until Tommy gets older.”

  “That’s the other thing.” Luke avoided his mother’s eyes. “When I finish with my bachelor’s, I want to go to law school. Reagan and I figure we’ll stay in New York for at least the next five years.” He paused. All of this was fine for him, but the news was bound to be a surprise to his family. “We’ll live on campus. Reagan wants to be close to her mother.”

  “That’s wonderful, Son.” His father slipped his arm around his mother’s shoulders. “Tell Reagan we love her. We can’t wait to see the baby.”

  “She wanted to come, but—” Luke looked at his hands and then back at his father—“she was embarrassed. She feels like everything that happened last year was her fault.”

  “Poor girl.” Ashley’s tone was gentle. “You made your own choices.”

  “I told her that. But she felt funny. Like she wouldn’t know what to tell all of you.”

  The conversation continued until long after midnight, and after the others went their separate ways, Luke pulled his father aside and apologized again.

  “I need to tell you…about Lori’s abortion.” Luke crossed his arms. “The baby wasn’t mine, Dad. I wanted to say something sooner, but not in front of everyone.”

  His father blinked twice and shook his head. “But you were living with her.”

  “We had…an open relationship.”

  He expected his dad to say something about Lori then, something negative and no doubt accurate about her strange way of thinking, the strange way Luke had been thinking.

  Instead his father pulled him close and hugged him. “I feel like a new man.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes.” He leaned back and grinned. “I have my son back.”

  The next morning, just after sunup, Luke woke to the smell of pancakes and coffee and the sound of his mother in the kitchen. The voices coming from the next room told him that the others had already arrived for the farewell. Sam and Erin wanted to be on the road by eight o’clock.

  He sat up and stared out the window at the familiar front yard and big oak tree, the winding driveway, and the American flag. For a few seconds he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the sofa. What if he hadn’t talked to Ashley that afternoon on campus? What if he’d been too stubborn or too certain that his crazy new way of thinking was the only one worth holding to?

  The idea sent a shiver through him, and when he opened his eyes he saw something that was bound to have the same effect on everyone who had already gathered at the Baxter house. Sam and Erin had just arrived.

  And that meant good-byes were less than an hour away.

  Breakfast was over, and John could sense
the shift in his family’s emotions.

  Sam and Erin had made the rounds, taking time to tell each person good-bye, making promises to call and visit and pray for each other. Sam was talking to Peter and Ryan in the family room, while Erin had a last few minutes with the girls. John and Elizabeth sat at the dining-room table watching the exchanges.

  “Austin’s just a few hours by plane.” Erin hugged Kari, and then Ashley and Brooke. “Every few months we’ll have to have a weekend together. Just us girls.”

  “Hey…” Luke walked up and reached his arms around Ashley and Erin. “Brothers like weekend getaways, too.”

  “Don’t forget us moms.” Elizabeth rested her chin on her hands and smiled at their children.

  “Fine with me.” Erin laughed, despite the faint mist of tears in her eyes. “We can have a reunion every month if you want.”

  Elizabeth stood and headed for the kitchen. She took a mug from the cupboard and a box of tea bags from a nearby drawer. John watched and knew she was struggling. She was doing a fine job of pretending, but this was hard on her. He followed and leaned against the wall a few feet from her.

  “You okay?” His voice was too quiet for the others to hear him. He cocked his head and studied his wife.

  Elizabeth dropped a tea bag into the mug and turned on the burner beneath the old kettle. “I’ll be fine. They’ll be back in a few weeks for the wedding.”

  “Still…” John gazed at their adult kids, still gathered in a circle laughing about something. “It’s hard, letting them go.” He looked at Elizabeth. “It was hard when Kari went to New York and when Ashley went to Paris.”

  “But this is different.”

  “Mm-hmm.” John crossed his arms. The breakfast dishes were piled in the sink, and he made a mental note. After Erin and Sam left, he’d do them so Elizabeth could have a break. He looked at her again. “It’s more permanent.”