by Ava Wood
Landon reached across the table, placing his fidgeting hand over hers. “I’m sorry, Talia.” He breathed deeply, looking overcome as he tried to continue. “I wanted to tell you so badly, but it never seemed like the right time. I know that sounds so cliché, but how do you tell the woman you love that you were once an escort?”
She stared at the man before her, unaware how broken he’d been without her. He had always been so strong, and now he just looked … lost.
“I was so afraid that the second I said the words, you would walk away.”
“How could you be so sure? You never even gave me the chance to decide for myself.”
Landon gestured between them and cleared his throat. “This is a pretty good indicator. Clearly, I was just delaying the inevitable. Once you knew what I was, you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“But if the circumstances were different…”
“Do you really think that if I had told you while I was showing you around my parents’ property, or during our trip to the pool hall, or even after we made love it would have made any difference? You didn’t hesitate to throw me out the second you found out. You didn’t even let me explain.”
Talia withdrew her hand from his and sunk into the booth, feeling wretched. He made such a valid point, but she wished things had been different. She wished she would have found out any other way and that she could be certain she wouldn’t have reacted the same. If only he could have told her on his own terms then maybe she would have responded better. In the pit of her stomach, she knew it wouldn’t have mattered.
“I never had to worry about anything before you came along. Everything was simpler back then. But I realized, I’d rather have complicated and confusing than spend a single second more without you. You’re it for me, Petal. They’ll never be another like you as long as I live. I just wish we could start over.”
Talia shook her head, knowing they’d never be able to go back to the beginning. “We can’t.”
Landon nodded. “I know.” Landon looked outside briefly. “My dad finally went to rehab.”
“Really? That’s great.” Talia didn’t expect the change of subject, but she was glad to hear there had been at least one good development in Landon’s life.
“He finally realized what a mess he’d made of his life, of all our lives, and he wanted to start over. He was hoping to finally regain what he’d lost, but you can’t get the past back. You can’t fix yesterday. You can either let the misery of your past mold you as a person or you can choose to forgive and forget then move forward.” He was finally looking at her again when he said, “If you are able to accept the past, only then can you truly make your future better.” His eyes studied hers, stealing the pain away. “I really hope your future is better, Tal. Maybe someday we’ll all be able to try again.” Looking back at the window, Landon sighed, “If I could do it all again…” His voice trailed off as Talia pondered his words.
She could see the new lines that had formed on his face, memorizing every single change. She was just getting used to this new man in front of her when the waitress arrived with their food. Their plates were placed in front of them then the waitress promptly left.
“I’m not even hungry,” she whispered as she pushed her plate away.
“You should eat. You look like you’ve lost ten pounds since…”
“Thanks.” She knew she’d lost weight, but she never expected Landon to call her on it. Picking at her bun, she took a few small bites to appease him. When she noticed his burger had hardly been touched she asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
He shook his head, staring at something on the table.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” Talia got up from the table, but Landon’s hand latched onto hers.
“No, don’t go.” His sorrow-filled face looked up at her. “I never thought it would be this hard just to be near you. It’s like you’ve captured all the air in the room and I can’t catch a single breath.”
Talia looked down at his shattered eyes. “I know how you feel.” Her hand was still in his and just his touch made it harder to breathe. “It’s not supposed to be this hard.”
“No one ever said love was supposed to be easy.” He was still holding her hand.
She knew she should pull away, not give him any false hope, but she missed the feel of his steady hand in hers.
“Please sit down.”
Lamenting the loss of contact, she sat back in the booth, rubbing her hand under the table. She still longed for the warmth she felt when he was touching her.
“God, Talia, don’t you think I agonized over the men you’ve been with before me? I know I wasn’t the only one.” His jaw clenched, but he continued. “I know my number is more substantial, that it’s a lot to take in, but…” His hand brushed through his hair. “Damn it, I’m not proud of what I did, of who I was. If I could take every second back before you, I would. I’d do it all different just to have one more chance with you.”
“Can we just get out of here?” Talia realized Landon had barely touched his food, but she didn’t feel comfortable continuing this conversation in the diner.
“I’ll drive you home.” He threw a fifty on the table and escorted her out, his hand on the small of her back as they walked to his Jeep.
“I’m sure the waitress will appreciate that tip.”
Landon shrugged, never removing his hand from her back.
“I can pay you back if you need me to.”
“That’s not necessary. I can afford it.” He opened the door and continued. “I’m working as a bouncer now.”
“Oh.” They stopped on the sidewalk, a gentle summer breeze cradling them.
“I had to do something with my time. After my dad got clean, we got a place together so I could help him out and well … living with him hasn’t been the easiest thing in the world, especially since my sister came to visit.”
“You were serious?”
“About what?”
“That really was your sister?”
“Yeah, that was really my sister.” He brushed a strand of hair from her face and studied her, then went on. “I called Celia while my dad was in rehab. I decided I’d move in with him once he was out, but I wanted some help. I couldn’t trouble Dawson, because we wanted to protect the kids from any possible relapse my dad had, at least for the first few months, so I called my sister. She wasn’t too keen on the idea of helping out until she knew that I’d given up escorting. Ever since she’s gotten here, though, I’ve felt like I’m constantly under a microscope; like she’s just waiting for me to go back to my old life. I’m kind of relieved she’s flying home in about an hour, but I needed to get some air before I was left alone with my dad.”
“It must be hard.”
Landon shrugged again and took her hand to guide her to the car. “Come on.” He opened the Jeep door for her once again and helped her inside then drove them back to her apartment. During the drive he didn’t speak, but the set of his jaw told her he had plenty on his mind.
“I’m sorry.”
Landon jerked the wheel at her words, momentarily swerving into oncoming traffic. “You’re sorry? What are you sorry for?”
“I should’ve let you explain. I shouldn’t have thrown you out without at least hearing you out. I’m sorry.”
Landon pulled into a parking spot in front of Perfect Petals and sat behind the wheel. “You don’t owe me an apology. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“You were right not to tell me. Apparently I overreact to everything.” She chuckled, trying to ease the tension that had been building between them since she saw him standing on his apartment stoop.
“I’m just glad you finally know the whole truth. It was eating me alive not telling you everything. It may not have made a difference, but you have to know there hasn’t been anyone else since you.”
“I know.” She reached across the Jeep, longing to touch his face, but pulled away. Staring out of the
windshield, she remembered what had led her on the trek to his apartment. “I found your sweatshirt.”
“Yeah?”
She laughed, remembering how she thought she would die on their run. “Want to come in? I’ll get it for you.”
“Sure.” He didn’t budge until she was out of the Jeep.
While unlocking the door, Talia uttered, “I guess I should thank you for the flowers.” Looking over her shoulder she added, “I know you put a lot of thought into them.”
“I did.” The apprehensive man was slowly vanishing, and the Landon she knew slowly began to resurface.
Opening the door, she slunk through the shop to the workroom and flipped a switch. The fluorescents whirred on as Landon entered. “I’ll run upstairs and get your shirt.” Leaving Landon behind, she ran to her apartment, going over the evening. She could tell he was miserable; she knew exactly how he felt, but she kept pulling away.
When she was in her bedroom, she grabbed his shirt, inhaling his scent one last time, understanding what she was about to give up. Falling onto the bed, she wondered if she really could let him go again. She’d felt so hopeless without him and suddenly realized that she wasn’t angry anymore. She didn’t need to keep pushing him away. She loved him.
Wasn’t love supposed to conquer all? She got up from the bed and carried his sweatshirt back downstairs, finding him staring at the blank spot on the wall where the picture of her blue rose had been.
“Your rose is gone.”
“The picture fell and broke.” She omitted that she had dropped the picture in the trash and it shattered as a result.
Still gaping at the wall, Landon rubbed his hand over his heart.
“Are you okay?”
“Huh?” He immediately dropped his hand to his side and looked at her with a look that could only be described as desperation.
Talia ached to know she was the reason for what Landon was feeling. She couldn’t take the anguish that they were both feeling so she slipped into the cooler in search of something that might make things better. She plucked a white tulip from its container and hid it behind her back as she emerged. “I want you to have something.” She procured the flower and held it out to him.
He took the tulip from her hand and asked, “Let me guess, this flower means goodbye?” He twisted it between his fingers, his focus on the bloom as it revolved in his grasp.
“It means forgiveness.” She watched him, breathing deeply and tried to stay calm. She prayed that he understood what the gesture really meant.
“Forgiveness?” His head lifted, his eyes meeting hers. “You forgive me?”
She nodded, smiling. Her words were caught somewhere in her throat and she couldn’t speak, but she knew he understood exactly what she meant when his lips came colliding into hers. They were quickly breathing as one, falling into each other. It was a kiss of healing and forgiveness and pure, unconditional love.
Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes as she felt her body sinking completely into his, not realizing until this moment how much she longed for this, just to be in his arms again. She suddenly realized, she really was enough; his past didn’t really matter, because he meant everything to her. It was her pride that had her stuck in misery, but she knew she could finally let it go. Ready to give herself over to him, she whimpered when he pulled away.
“I love you, Petal.”
“I love you, too.”
Epilogue
Look After You
Five Months Later
Talia’s fingers outlined the blue rose tattoo Landon had inked the first week after their breakup. It sat just below his shoulder with a single petal that looked to have fallen away from the bloom and landed just over his heart. The first time Talia saw it, she knew it was a symbol of everything she meant to him. She found herself edging over that very tattoo every time she laid in his arms. It was amazing how such a simple gesture could say so much.
“We’ve got to get going or we’ll be late.” They’d spent hours enjoying their lazy Sunday together nestled under the covers.
Talia groaned as Landon’s hand gently rubbed over the small swell of her stomach where their child was beginning to grow. “Let’s just blow it off.” She burrowed deeper into the crook of his arm.
He squeezed her against him and said, “You know Dawson’s whole family is waiting for us. We can’t blow them off.”
“I know,” she grumbled. Landon and Talia had scheduled a family gathering at the mid-season Cowboys game nearly three months before, but Talia was just too comfortable in Landon’s arms to care. “Just ten more minutes.”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Come on, Petal. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
She angled her head up to his and smirked. “You will, will you?”
“Get up.” With a quick peck on her nose he climbed from the bed, his flawless body on full display as he retreated to the shower.
When Talia heard the water running, she climbed from the bed and snuck to the bathroom. Surrounded by a thin layer of steam, she pulled back the shower curtain. “Need a hand? I hear I’m really good at getting those hard to reach places.”
Landon grabbed the hand that had been holding the shower curtain and pulled her inside. “Get in here.” He pressed her body up against the cold tile and nipped her bottom lip. “You’re persistent, aren’t you?”
“You better believe it.” She squirted a bead of soap in her hand and applied the suds all over his body, paying careful attention to the area between his legs. He stood watching her hands work and she smiled seductively before she reached between them, grabbing his length and stroking up and down then lapping at the water dripping from his head. Feeling his full erection firm in her grasp, she wrapped her mouth around his cock, taking him in fully. She proceeded up and down his member, tasting the salty skin as she moved. Cradling his sack, she felt its fullness and stood up in front of him. Wrapping one leg around him, she pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed him firmly.
His arms wrapped around her, lifting her higher while dipping his tongue into her mouth.
She could taste the mint of his toothpaste as his tongue teased hers. His hands moved down her back and grabbed onto her ass before he hoisted her up around his abdomen, placing her breasts just inches from his face. Lowering his mouth he took one erect nipple in, his tongue circling the delicate bud before his teeth grazed the ultra-sensitive flesh. Talia moaned and arced her back, pressing her breast farther into his mouth. He continued his attentive assault, elongating her nipple with his ravenous sucking.
Feeling secure in his arms, she placed her index and middle finger in her mouth, sucking, then positioning them between her legs, pleasuring her clit while he continued his attack. As the wetness greedily formed between her legs, Landon’s mouth pulled away from her breast.
“I love you, Petal.” His forehead met hers before he eased her down onto his length.
“Oh, I love you.” Her fingers continued their pace as he moved in and out with her back moving easily against the wall. The chill of the tile sent a shiver through her and she gripped his shoulders, yearning to meet his stride. She bucked against him with each thrust, putting him deeper inside of her. She could feel him so deep, hitting the places no one had ever reached before. Riding him up and down, feeling him fully, in and out. She dropped her head against the shower wall as her orgasm built deep in her belly. Her climax hit and she began trembling as Landon grunted softly and slowed. As Talia dropped her legs to the shower floor, Landon pressed against her.
“We’re definitely going to be late.”
“I’d say it was worth it.” She grabbed her shampoo and began lathering her hair, smiling when she caught Landon greedily staring at her breasts. “You ready for round two?”
Landon shook his head. “I’m getting out of here before you get me into trouble.”
She laughed as he climbed out of the shower, leaving her to finish alone. When she was wrapped in a towel she emerged fro
m the bathroom, finding Landon fully dressed in faded denim jeans and a blue-plaid flannel shirt. No man had ever made flannel look so sexy. She felt unworthy in the pink Cowboys jersey and black tights she’d picked out, but she knew Landon loved her in whatever she wore. “I was wondering…” She saw the inquisitive look he gave her as she began and felt a pang of anxiety take hold.
“What, Petal?”
“Please don’t say no.”
“Like I could say no to you.” He took hold of her waist and pulled her close to him.
“Could we maybe take your Harley to the game? I mean, with the baby coming I won’t be able to ride it much longer and I really want to make the most of this time.”
He placed a quick peck on her forehead. “Are you sure? It’s going to be pretty cold on the bike.”
“You’ll keep me warm.” She smiled her most persuasive smile. “Pretty please.”
“I told you. I can’t say no to you.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips and swatted her behind. “Go get your jacket.”
When they were dressed in their matching black leather jackets they headed out to Landon’s new Harley Davidson Super Glide. Talia had surprised him with the bike for their three-month anniversary and was rewarded with a ride to their favorite burger joint followed by a very erotic evening at home. Life had been good for them and was only getting better.
They set out for AT&T Stadium and, after twenty minutes of driving, Talia finally asked, “Shouldn’t we have been there by now?”
Landon looked around and said, “I think we’re lost.” He pulled off the highway into a local gas station and hopped off the bike. “Fill her up, Petal.”
“Excuse me?” She laughed at his demand.
“I’m going to run in and get directions. Fill her up, please.” He smiled and bit her bottom lip before running inside.
She filled the tank and watched him through the station window. He was smiling and laughing with the attendant and she wondered what had them so tickled. When he returned outside he was all business standing idly by as she continued pumping.
Rubbing her hands together, Talia stammered, “It’s freezing out here.”