Mother's Love

by Kirsty Dallas

  Chapter 2

  Dillon

  Annie was pale and her hands shook so badly I wondered how in the hell she managed to read the damn letter she had clutched in her hands.

  “Phillip wants to see Eli,” she finally whispered.

  Kneeling down before her, I carefully lifted the letter from her hands and read. It wasn’t a personal letter from the man himself, but a legal document from a lawyer who specialized in family law. Civilities be damned, Phillip had gone straight to the top and lawyered up. It didn’t surprise me, though; he was a father who wanted to see his son. What he had done to Annie was unforgivable; Jax had told me the condition she turned up on Mercy’s door step in. Phillip had an illness, though, and while I longed to hate the man for hurting Annie and curse him to hell and back, the thing was, he was a sick man. Perhaps, under normal circumstances, he would have been a man who would never have hurt his wife. We would never know. What we did know was that medicated, Phillip had proven himself to be a man who could control the rage that burned within. Too bad he couldn’t stick to his meds.

  “Let me make some calls,” I mumbled, taking my phone from my back pocket. I called my lawyer, Trevor Billings, whose specialty was not family law, but he’d still know how to proceed. While I talked to Trevor, I watched Annie from the corner of my eye. She was now sitting on the sofa beside Eli, watching him so intently, I wondered if she thought he’d disappear if she looked away.

  It has been over two years since she had left Phillip, and she still carried the classic symptoms of a woman hurt by a man. The underlying fear in her eyes never left; she was constantly looking over her shoulder, even if she didn’t realize it herself. She jumped at loud noises and cringed at raised voices. She masked her symptoms behind a wall of independence, and I admired the shit out of her for it. Against all odds, Annie had turned her life around. She had fled the tyranny of a man who couldn’t control his illness and had walked into Mercy’s Shelter with no more than the clothes on her back, beaten, and scared. She had picked herself up, dusted herself off, and made a life for herself and Eli in Claymont. Even after Phillip found her here, and in a fit of rage, threatened Annie’s friend from the shelter, little Ella Munroe, she had continued to allow herself and Eli to flourish in the small town safely cushioned in the dark mountain range.

  I finished up my conversation with Trevor and promised to fax a copy of the letter to him tonight.

  “Annie,” I murmured to get her attention. She didn’t hear me, so lost in her own thoughts she barely blinked, her steady gaze on Eli the entire time. “Annie!” I said a little more sternly, and her eyes flew to mine, but so did Eli’s. Like any eight-year-old though, he quickly resumed the game that demanded his complete, undivided attention. I gave my head a small flick, indicating Annie to join me in the kitchen. She reluctantly stood and followed me away from Eli. “I have someone looking into it, but worst case scenario, Eli will have to do a supervised visit.”

  Her jaw locked defiantly and anger flared in her eyes. She was so damn beautiful standing so proud and strong. I wanted to reach out, cup her cheeks in my hands, and kiss her senseless. I settled on brushing the backs of my fingers down the soft skin of her cheek. I liked the surprised look on her face and the flare of unconcealed desire in her eyes as my hand reluctantly fell away.

  “He wouldn’t be left alone with him, not even for a second. My lawyer even thinks he might be able to organize the visit in such a way that I’m present for the entire thing.”

  “What if Eli doesn’t want to see him?” Annie whispered.

  “He might not have a choice, so it will be up to us to prepare him as best as we can.” She was nibbling on her lower lip. The tired bruises under her eyes didn’t detract from her beauty, the vulnerability only made her all the more alluring to me. “Come on, sunshine,” I murmured. Her cheeks heated at my nickname for her. I don’t remember when I started calling her that to her face; it just began, and it had stuck. It was a name saved for just us; I never used it in front of others and not because I was embarrassed by it, but by the blush it still drew from her cheeks, it embarrassed her. She was my sunshine, though; the world felt better when I was around her, it felt warmer, and I felt content. “Let my lawyer do his thing, and we’ll worry about it when we have to.”

  My phone began vibrating on the counter beside us, Melinda’s name flashing across the screen. Annie quickly diverted her gaze, but not before I caught an irritated sigh escaping her lips. Interesting. A few months ago, when I had finally bitten the bullet and asked Annie out on an official date, she turned me down with no rhyme or reason. I assumed it was a combination of fear and the thought that just maybe she didn’t care for me the way I cared for her, that she saw me as nothing more than a friend and I had crossed that line in spectacular fashion. But now, seeing her response to my casual touch and the subsequent phone call from Melinda, I was thinking maybe her choice not to pursue a relationship with me was born solely out of fear. That I could work with. I adored Annie; from the first moment I had laid eyes on her, I found myself compelled to protect her. That delicate body hidden under unassuming clothes could hold my attention better than any damn Hustler. Her beauty was understated and humble, which only magnified my attraction to her. Her caring nature was amplified in her son, Eli, a boy who could win any heart in five seconds flat. He had won mine in less. I spent twelve months earning Annie’s trust and developing a friendship with her and her son, in the hope that one day I’d have more. She was simply stunning, her eyes always so vivid and full of emotion. She was shy and cautious around people which only made her all the more endearing. When I had finally found the courage to ask her out, she had promptly turned me down, and in response, I scrolled through the contacts in my cell phone until I came to Melinda’s name. She had been looking to upgrade the security at her real estate office and had also made it clear she was interested in me. Dating Melinda had initially been motivated by anger and an attempt to garner some sort of jealousy out of Annie. Annie seemed oblivious to my relationship with Melinda, so with that major backfire, I actually took the time to get to know Melinda. She was an intelligent, beautiful woman with the cliché blonde hair and blue eyes. She always dressed to perfection, her makeup always flawless. Funny thing was, as right as she looked beside me, it felt completely wrong.

  “Hey, Melinda, how’s it going?” I answered her call.

  “Hi, my handsome soldier,” Melinda crooned, and I cringed. I hated the affectionate term she had decided to label me with. Being a soldier had been an important part of crafting the man I was today. I had seen so much death and despair when I served abroad that I couldn’t begin to fathom how someone could take something so serious and turn it into something so . . . sappy. “Are we still on for dinner?”

  I cringed again. Damn, I’d forgotten we were having dinner tonight. “Ahh, I’m going to have to take a rain check. I’ve got to go into the office for a bit,” I said. I wasn’t lying. I did, in fact, have to go into the office and email this letter to Trevor. I also had a stack of paperwork a mile high turning my desk into the Great Wall of Claymont.

  “Maybe I could bring dinner to you. You have to eat sometime.”

  “Samuel will be there and will have something cooked up. How about we do lunch tomorrow?” I watched Annie as she tried hard to look as if she weren’t listening. It was adorable. Melinda sighed, and I could almost imagine her pouting. I hated women who pouted. Annie never pouted. When she didn’t get her way, she clenched her jaw and stood a little taller, staring down the poor, wretched soul who dared to deny her.

  “Fine, lunch tomorrow.” Melinda sighed. “I don’t suppose we can have a private lunch, maybe my place?”

  I wouldn’t be a male if I were to say the offer didn’t intrigue me. The difference between me and other men, though, was when my heart belonged to another, there was no way I could rent my body out to someone else. Perhaps I had a weird fetish for punishing my heart, or perhaps I was just plain old stubborn, b
ut I wanted to try things with Annie again. She truly warmed a place in my heart that no other did, and if there were a chance I could convince her to have a little trust in us, I wanted to take it. First things first, though; I needed to break things off with Melinda. Dating her while secretly wishing she were someone else wasn’t cool. I wasn’t that guy, and it wasn’t fair to Melinda.

  “Actually, I need to talk to you about something. Can I swing by your place on the way to the office tonight?”

  “Of course you can, handsome soldier. I’ll be waiting.” It was clearly evident by the enthusiasm in her voice that she was expecting a booty call, not a break-up visit.

  “See you soon.” I hung up and Annie went about pulling things from the fridge as if she didn’t even realize I was in the room. Cute.

  “Annie, I need to get going, but I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Annie turned and feigned surprise. “Oh, okay, no problem,” she said with a big smile. On closer inspection, though, I realized the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. I’d seen this smile so many times in the past, but I had never realized how much she was forcing it. For a man who spent his life examining things from every single angle, planning missions, analyzing data, I was clearly lacking when it came to women. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to drag Eli away from the game that had him enthralled, I strolled the few feet into the living room and ruffled his hair. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he smiled.

  “You’re the man of the house, Eli. Remember to look after your momma,” I murmured.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll look after her.” He smiled, returning his attention to his game.

  He was a good kid, smart and honest. I had nieces and nephews who I adored and spoiled rotten, but Eli was different. He wasn’t mine, yet I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life. He was like a missing piece to a puzzle that just fit and made my life whole. My dark memories retreated under Eli’s innocence, he made me want to be a better person, and he forced my protective instincts into overdrive. I wanted to make this world safe for him and pave the way for his bright future. No, he wasn’t mine biologically, but I couldn’t help but think of him as mine, much the same way I couldn’t help wish that his mom were mine, too.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I promised Annie.

  “Dillon?” I paused at the sound of her hesitant voice. With my hand on the door knob, I glanced over my shoulder. “Thank you.” She looked so tired and unguarded in that moment with a dish towel clenched in her fists, those expressive eyes full of fear.

  “It will be alright, Annie, I promise.” I wasn’t sure I could deliver that kind of promise, but if she had asked me for the stars in that moment, I would have found a way to lay them at her feet. Shoving aside any weakness or vulnerability, she gave me a sure nod before turning her attention back to preparing dinner.

  *

  Breaking up with Melinda had been harder than I had anticipated. She had cried, and I was a man who found himself ripped to shreds at the sight of a woman in tears. I didn’t want to hurt Melinda, but I didn’t love her. If I had continued living the lie, she would have quite possibly been hurt worse in the end. In a moment of weakness, I had gently wiped away the tears from her cheeks and allowed myself to become captured in her desperate kiss before gently pushing her away. I had never felt like more of a bastard. Driving away from her apartment, I swore if Annie didn’t accept me this time, I would join a damn monastery. I was not putting myself or another woman through that kind of emotional torture again. My dick could damn well protest all it wanted, but my heart was too raw for this kind of shit.

  I glanced up at the broad chested frame of my best friend, Jaxon Carter. His boots were resting on the edge of my desk, his chair tilting dangerously on its two back legs. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he read the book sitting in his lap. He looked so different to the soldier I had met in Afghanistan. That man had been clean shaven, his hair military cropped short, his uniform crisp and wrinkle free, his boots shined to a painfully pristine luster. He was a fine soldier, the only man I ever felt truly comfortable having at my back. Now days, Jax sported a face of scruff, wild and untamed hair, a wrinkled t-shirt, and boots that were worn and scuffed, the laces frayed, and he looked the better for it. More relaxed and at ease than I had ever known him to be.

  “What are you reading?” I wondered as I signed off another security upgrade quote and shoved it into the pile for my secretary, Alice, to deal with in the morning. Jax raised the book so I could see the cover, his eyes not leaving the pages before him.

  “What to Expect When You’re Expecting. You’re reading birthing books in my office?” I choked out.

  Jax glanced over the top of the book and raised a brow. “Ella’s at Rebecca’s; they’re baking a cake for Charlie’s birthday. It’s too noisy over there and I can’t concentrate.” His eyes moved back to the book.

  “Ella’s cooking?” I wondered out loud.

  “No, Rebecca promised me she wouldn’t let her do more than stir the batter.”

  I smiled at the thought. Ella had been taking cooking classes with Mary, the resident cook at Mercy’s Shelter for Abused Women. Unfortunately, the classes were not helping, but the defiant little pocket rocket refused to be defeated and cooked often, much to the detriment of her friends who were forced to endure her failed attempts.

  “How is it you haven’t wasted away to nothing?”

  Jax flicked to the next page in the book. “I eat at the shelter and have a freezer and microwave in my workshop at home. I sneak in snacks when Ella isn’t watching.” I laughed, and Jax grinned, finally putting the book down and giving me his full attention. “So, what has your panties in a twist?”

  “I don’t wear panties, and if I did, they wouldn’t be twisted.”

  Jax cocked an arrogant eyebrow. “They are so fucking twisted it’s a wonder your balls haven’t turned blue.”

  I laughed and threw down the pen in my hand. “Annie’s husband, Phillip, has pursued legal avenues to see Eli.”

  Jax’s easy going smile instantly disappeared. “You’ve got to be shitting me. That fucker beat Annie black and blue and tried to kidnap his fucking son. He doesn’t deserve to see him ever again.”

  “He is Eli’s father, he has never hurt Eli, and he has a mental illness. He’s not necessarily an asshole by choice,” I sighed.

  “Fuck that,” Jax growled, leaning forward in his chair, the front legs hitting the ground with a thud. “She couldn’t see out of one eye for weeks, she had two broken ribs, she has scars from beatings, and she still suffers from headaches to this day. Eli had nightmares for weeks at the shelter. He damaged both of them ’cause he didn’t like the way his meds made him feel. A real man would have done anything to protect the people he loved, even from himself.”

  I wanted to argue that Jax was wrong, that Phillip’s choices were distorted by his illness, but a part of me agreed with him, regardless of what my practical mind tried to have me believe.

  “He still has rights where his son is concerned. I’ve got my lawyer looking into it as we speak.”

  Jax sat back and shook his head with anger. “You’re not going to let them go alone.”

  “Of course not. My lawyer thinks he can make an amendment to the request to have me present for the visit. I don’t want Annie in there with him; I don’t think she is quite ready for that.”

  “She may never be ready for that,” Jax said solemnly.

  “She’s stronger than she looks. She’ll be ready to face him one day, and then maybe she can lay her nightmares to rest.” Jax watched me with far too much intensity. I dropped my gaze and began going over the paperwork before me once again.

  “She cares about you; she’s just scared,” he murmured.

  “We getting all warm and fuzzy now?” I asked, not looking up.

  “You know me, all in touch with my feelings and shit.”

  I chuckled. “How can I disagree when you put it so eloquently?”

  �
�Fuck you. When does Braiden and Em get back?” Braiden was my cousin and equal partner in Montgomery Securities.

  “They’ll be in Cambodia for another week then they’re spending two weeks in Australia before heading home.”

  “And he just left you with all this shit to deal with?” Jax asked, sweeping a hand over the mess before me.

  “Braiden doesn’t even look at this shit when he’s here; he’s not exactly a man proficient with paperwork. He prefers his guns and knives and that damn kinky guest house by the pool that he and Em disappear into frequently.”

  Jax leaned forward again, a grin on his face. “What exactly is in there?” he asked, referring to my cousin’s ‘guest house’ at the back of his property which was anything but a guest house. Braiden had kinks and a dominant streak which followed him into the bedroom. The small self-contained unit had been renovated into some bizarre, adult playroom.

  “Fuck if I know, there isn’t a chance in hell I’m taking a look in that building. I’m sure it would scar me for life.”

  Jax laughed loudly. “Maybe I need to build a guest house for Ella.”

  It was my turn to laugh. “If you tried to spank that fire cracker, she would slug you right back.”

  A pounding at my office door drew our attention. Samuel stood just inside the doorway, his hair its usual chaotic mess, his black rimmed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

  “Hey, Boss, you got mail,” he said, strolling into the room and handing me a piece of paper. Samuel took care of the IT side of the business and was heading up the new cyber defense department. He was one hell of a hacker who had worked on both sides of the law before I snapped him up at a security conference last year.

  “Has Jessica baked any of those cookies lately?” Jax asked, rubbing his stomach. Jessica was Sam’s live-in girlfriend, and I had disliked her immediately. The way her eyes raked hungrily over other men was disrespectful to Sam, and I know he hadn’t missed her wandering eye.