Mother's Love

by Kirsty Dallas

  Grabbing a white board marker off Sam’s desk, Dillon turned to a white board mounted on the wall beside the map. I sat and watched with no clue what it was that had them suddenly full of energy. “Time frame?” Dillon asked.

  “Eli went missing from Claymont Hospital at approximately ten o’clock Thursday morning,” said Sam.

  The painful memory made me feel nauseated. Dillon wrote the time and location at the top of the board.

  “Road blocks were set up on both the north and south side of Claymont at one p.m. Thursday,” added James.

  Dillon drew an arrow facing down and added road blocks, one p.m. underneath it.

  “Bomber found Stephan and Alison’s last known location to be a car rental place on the north side of Claymont. Desk clerk confirmed they were there at two thirty in the afternoon.” Dillon added that information to the time frame. Sam shook his head. “But that would mean they are still in Claymont, and there sure aren’t any homes off the grid within the city limits. Everything has accessible power and water, and everyone knows fucking everyone in this town. There is no way they can hide a boy for long, especially so close to his home where people know him. With Eli’s photo being constantly flashed on the TV and Internet, it’s only a matter of time before someone recognizes him.”

  James grabbed a marker as well and approached the map. He put a large X in two spots, one on the highway that led into Claymont from the north, and the other on the same highway that continued to the south. “The northern road block was fifteen miles on the north side of the Black Ridge Mountain Range turn off.” I followed James’ finger as it wound up into what I assumed was the mountainous territory that surrounded Claymont. “They were last seen on this side of town and they wouldn’t have gotten through the road block. If we go with your hunch and assume they’ve gone rural, then my bet would be that they’re up here somewhere.”

  “That’s a lot of mountain,” Sam murmured from behind his desk.

  “It is, but all this area,” James drew a circle around the first part of the mountain hinterland, “is full of wealthy vacation homes; electricity, water, not really the hillbilly off the grid lifestyle we’re talking about.” He drew another larger circle beside the one he had just drawn. “This, this is all off the grid. Does anyone know if Claymont has its own prepper fanatics group?”

  “No idea, but I’m on it.” Sam was once again tapping away at the keyboard. My eyes took in the circle James had made, the area Eli could be in. So much land, so rugged, but it was something. It was a ray of hope, and that was all I needed to give my spirits a gentle nudge upwards. It finally felt like we were moving forward, a step toward finding Eli, which made my heart pound with anticipation. Dillon’s phone rang, which caused my already racing heart to almost trip over itself.

  “It’s Jaxon,” he murmured, quenching my need to know. “How’s it going, Daddy?” he asked with a small smile, which soon fell as his gaze found mine. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?” After a small pause, he nodded. “Okay, let me see what I can do.” With that, he hung up, his grey eyes still watching me with something akin to concern.

  “What is it?” I asked, both wanting to know and not wanting to know. I wasn’t sure my heart could take any more bad news.

  “Ella wants to see you. She knows what’s going on. She feels guilty, and she’s having a mild panic attack.” My hand automatically closed over my mouth to smother the whimper that fell from my lips. Ella was a brand spanking new mom; she couldn’t afford to be stressed out. She needed to concentrate on her newborn baby. Even though my first thought was for Ella’s wellbeing, that thought was quickly followed by the sheer terror of going back to the place I lost Eli.

  “If you don’t want to go back there, we won’t.” Dillon’s words drew me away from the terror. “Jaxon can handle Ella, and Mercy is there, too.”

  I wanted to see my friend, though. Ella and I had been through a lot together; she had been one of my first true friends in Claymont, and I needed her right now as much as she needed me. Even though Ella was several years younger than me, we were bonded by a mutual understanding of pain and despair. We also understood what it took to overcome those obstacles.

  “It will be okay. We need to go,” I said, my words feeble and weak.

  “Not if you don’t want to.”

  “No, I want to.” This time the words were said with more conviction. Dillon nodded and reached for my hand.

  “I’ll get into the office and assemble a team to start searching that area,” James said, nodding towards the map on the wall.

  “Thank you,” Dillon said, shaking his hand.

  “No thanks necessary. You have resources I don’t, much like I have resources you don’t. If we can happily exchange information and work together, it means less bad guys winning, and I’m all for that.” Dillon nodded in agreement as James walked out the door.

  “Sam?” Dillon called out over his shoulder.

  “I’ll call the minute I have something, Boss.”

  “Keep the sergeant updated, too.”

  “Will do.”

  Instead of leading me back towards the elevator, Dillon strode straight past it until we stood in front of a heavy looking, steel door. He entered a code, and a clicking sound indicated the locking mechanism had disengaged, then he stepped into the small room. I waited at the doorway as he moved towards a large safe. What looked to be tactical vests were hung on a rack along one wall, handcuffs, batons, and a large array of other unidentifiable gear was precisely arranged on shelving against the opposite wall. My gaze was drawn back to Dillon who was pulling open the safe door. My breath caught at the sight of the guns inside. I was no stranger to guns. Phillip had a number of hunting rifles and knives, but it had been some time since I was confronted with the sight of them. Dillon took two hand guns from the safe, casting me a quick glance over his shoulder. He shut the safe and gave the door a tug to make sure it was locked once more, then he moved to a set of drawers in one corner. He took out what I assumed to be ammunition.

  “This is just a precaution, Annie. I don’t expect I will need to use it, but once a soldier, always a soldier,” he carefully explained. “I prefer to be prepared for anything.”

  “Isn’t that like a Boy Scout motto or something?” I whispered, watching him as he methodically filled a backpack with different items from around the room. A gun holster was fastened over his shoulders as he flashed me a cheeky grin.

  “On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty, to God and my country, and to obey the Scout Law, to help other people at all times, to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight." He held one hand up with the middle three fingers showing in what I assumed was a Boy Scout motto and hand signal. It kind of reminded me of the Vulcan hand sign, which made me smile.

  “You were a Boy Scout?” I asked, not really surprised. Out of all the men I knew in Claymont, Dillon had to be the most Boy Scout like of the lot. But as he holstered his weapons and pulled on a leather jacket, he looked anything but Boy Scoutish. He looked dangerous . . . dangerous and incredibly sexy.

  “Yes, ma’am, Eagle Scout Dillon Montgomery at your service.”

  “You were born to do what you do, helping people, protecting people,” I quietly observed. He moved forward and cupped my cheek with his palm.

  “I was born for you, sweetheart, to protect you and Eli, and I’m damn well going to do just that.”

  My eyes grew unsurprisingly misty, but I didn’t allow one tear to drop. Once the flood gates reopened, I doubted they would close. “I like the sound of that,” I whispered.

  “Let’s get to the hospital, so we can calm Ella.” He took my hand in his much larger one. Such a strong hand, one that had no doubt taken life, just as he swore to protect it. I knew, in the recesses of Dillon’s mind, memories of his time as a soldier haunted him, but he rarely let those nightmares show. He focused on what was in front of him, put all his time and effort into helping others. He didn�
��t dwell on a past he couldn’t change, and it was inspiring. I had learned valuable lessons in my own past, the biggest one being not to live in fear. Once I had Eli back in my arms, I was going to do everything in my power to live that life and embrace my future, and God willing, Dillon would be a big part of that future.

  Chapter 20

  Dillon

  Hospitals didn’t ordinarily bother me, but Claymont Memorial held nothing but dismal memories. From my own gunshot wound, courtesy of Ella’s deranged stepfather, to Ella’s near fatal injuries from that very same night, to Emily’s short stay within the hospital walls right before she willingly walked out the front doors and back into the arms of a human trafficking, sadistic bastard. Now, added to that pile of pain and misery was Eli’s abduction, and the anguish that accompanied that thought was ripe and pungent, so sharp I rubbed my chest without conscious thought in an effort to relieve the hurt. Annie held my hand in a grip so tight it bordered on painful, but I would take that pain and then some if it helped anchor her to sanity. Her eyes were wide as she took in the waiting room, darting from one side to the other, as if in search of something, someone. Her feet almost seemed heavy and unwilling as I guided her to the front desk. As we got closer, I realized Eli’s child abduction notice was stuck to the wall beside the reception desk. I heard the catch in Annie’s throat when she spotted it for herself.

  “We are here to see Ella Munroe. She and her fiancé, Jaxon Carter, are expecting us,” I quickly said. I wanted to get Annie out of this room as fast as possible. The nurse gave me directions, and I led Annie away from the painful sight of her missing son. Once we were away from the small crowd that filled the waiting room, I turned and pulled her into my arms. Annie’s body shook fiercely as she tried desperately to fend off her tears. A wounded sound escaped her lips, and in that moment, another piece of my heart broke for her. I held her tighter, not caring if she was uncomfortable. I wished my touch would drive away her pain and shelter her from the grief that filled her entire being.

  “Deep breaths, baby. Hear my heartbeat and take a few deep breaths.” I held a palm over her head, holding her close to my chest, her ear right over my pounding heart. I felt her own chest rise and fall as she gasped for control. After what seemed an eternity, she finally stilled and eventually raised her head. The pain in her eyes twisted like a knife to my gut. I rested my forehead against hers and breathed her in, reaching for my own composure.

  “I’m okay now,” she whispered with a broken voice.

  I nodded. “Just give me a sec.” When I finally managed to push my own anguish back in the sealed box that protected me from my own sorrow, I lifted my head and kissed the corner of Annie’s mouth. “Let’s go.”

  When we reached the doorway to Ella’s room, I gave it a quick knock. It was answered immediately by a tired looking Jaxon who held their tiny baby in his giant arms. His gaze immediately locked on Annie, and tucking Celeste safely against his chest with one arm, he reached out a hand to pull Annie into his body.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, honey,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I wish I could be out there looking for him.”

  I could see Annie once again fighting for some lingering inner strength to keep from breaking down again, deep breaths filling her tiny body before she moved out of Jaxon’s arms. She raised her hand to Celeste’s sleeping face and ran a finger down her tiny cheek.

  “She’s beautiful,” Annie whispered.

  “Just like her momma,” Jax confirmed.

  Annie then stepped around Jax, and I saw Ella’s stricken face as she sat in the hospital bed, propped up with pillows. Not a single tear fell from Ella’s tormented eyes. Jax once told me Ella didn’t cry much, having endured too many torturous years at the hands of her psychotic stepfather; she had learned to bury the pain of tears.

  “I’m sorry, Annie,” Ella said, her bottom lip now trembling.

  Annie moved quickly to the bed and carefully sat beside Ella, palming her head of dark hair into her chest. It was then I noticed Ella’s body shaking.

  “Shhhhh,” Annie murmured. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s their fault, not yours. Please don’t take on this burden; it’s not yours to bear.”

  Ella’s body continued to shake, and Jaxon, the giant grizzly of a man, could stand it no longer. He turned and held out Celeste to me, and I carefully took the tiny, weightless beauty from his arms and watched him sit on Ella’s opposite side. He awkwardly wrapped his body around Ella’s back and held her as Annie tried to comfort the tiny pocket-rocket. Seeing Ella’s own grief cut just as deep as Annie’s. Ella was such a strong woman, defiantly so. Watching her disintegrate like this was hard. I lowered my gaze to Celeste, needing a break from the pain on my friends’ faces and took in the tiny bundle. It had been a long time since I had held a baby; the youngest of my nieces and nephews was seven, and even when they were babies, I was mostly abroad with the military. I slipped my finger under Celeste’s tiny hand and reminded myself of the fragility of babies, so small, so innocent and delicate. Celeste made a small squeaking noise, her lips pursed with defiance, irritated by the touch though she quickly resettled.

  “May I?” came Annie’s small voice from beside me. I glanced up to see her eyes once again red and filled with tears, but she was holding it together. “You look good with her, a natural,” she added.

  I gave her a small smile as I carefully passed Celeste into her expert arms. The reality was, it was Annie that looked good holding a baby, like the perfect mom. For the first time ever, I actually considered the possibility of holding my own baby in my arms. I found myself wondering if Annie would ever want another child. The thought of her body growing with life inside it, a life we might create together, was a curiously appealing thought. I wouldn’t dare broach the subject while Eli was missing—he was the priority right now—but one day, one day soon, we’d talk about it.

  A smile filled her face as she gazed into Celeste’s still sleeping form. “You forget how small they start out,” she confessed to no one in particular. “They grow so fast. One minute they are these tiny little beings that rely on you for everything and the next thing you know, they’re eight going on eighteen, tying their own shoe laces and demanding you don’t walk them into school anymore.” A tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. “People are going to tell you if she cries to let her cry for a little while. They’re going to tell you not to coddle her and to put her in her crib to teach her to sleep on her own as soon as you get her home.” Annie shook her head. “They’re wrong.” She paused as another tear slipped free. “When she cries, she needs you, so go to her, hold her. She just wants comfort, and why should a baby be denied that? Coddle her, hold her, she will grow so fast you don’t want to miss out on the opportunity. Let her sleep in the bassinet by your bed, and as she gets older, when she’s frightened at night, let her crawl under the sheets with you. You will only have the opportunity to hold her hand for such a short sliver of time, so hold it often.” More tears fell as her gaze lifted to Ella and Jax. “You’ll make mistakes, and you’ll feel like the worst parent in the world, but no matter how many mistakes you make, she’ll always look at you like you are the most awesome mom and dad. Even when she’s throwing a tantrum, she will still turn back to you for a hug when she’s finished. Don’t worry if you have trouble feeding. I did and it made me feel like such a failure, but you know what? Eli turned out just fine surviving on formula. There is no right way or wrong way, there is just your way, and as long as you love her and protect her, you’re doing the right thing.”

  Ella carefully slipped out of bed, and I could tell she was stiff and in pain from the caesarean section she had had only a few short days ago. Jaxon moved to stand right behind Ella as she reached out a small hand to wipe away Annie’s tears.

  “Dillon is going to get him back. He has the best team and not one of them will rest until Eli is back in your arms.” Ella smiled a little as she cast me a bold look. “He’ll make those
fuckers pay, and if he doesn’t, I will.” A small bark of laughter escaped Annie’s lips.

  “Damn straight I will,” I murmured.

  When it was time to leave the hospital, little Ella appeared calm and pacified, her chin lifted, her shoulders pushed proudly back. Jaxon looked eternally grateful as he passed their now crying babe to Ella. He gave me a sure, strong handshake, and I knew he was regretful he couldn’t be of more help. As we left the hospital, I hoped I wouldn’t be back here for a long time to come.

  Annie looked . . . tired.

  “Maybe we should go back to my place. You can get a couple of hours’ sleep,” I suggested as we climbed into the car.

  Annie swung around to face me. “You said we’d look, that we’d do something!”

  I rubbed a hand over my healthy growth of stubble. I really needed to shave. “Okay, how about we just stop by my house so I can change and shave, then I’ll call Sam and see what he has.”

  Annie’s face softened. “You do look a little roguish.”

  I smiled, the first real smile I’d had in days. “Is that a good thing?” I wondered.

  “You don’t look bad, but you’re a little prickly when you kiss me,” Annie admitted with a blush.

  “Well, I can’t go marring that beautiful skin of yours. We’ll keep looking, I promise. There’s just no point driving aimlessly around town.” Annie nodded her assent, and I headed back to my and Braiden’s home.

  The house was empty, which felt odd. For the last few months, there was always someone around, and now, the silence felt lonely. Emily must have been staying with her sister, Rebecca, while Braiden was away looking for Phillip. I flicked on the TV to add some background noise.

  “I’m just going to take a quick shower and shave. Make yourself at home. There’s food in the fridge. Feel free to make yourself something, coffee, tea, whatever, just help yourself.”