Despairing Tides (Fate's Intent Book 12)

by Bowles, April

  The others looked to the door and gasped.

  “Fuck! The dinner!” Bryce said.

  They were all about to get up but stopped and looked at me, not making an anxious move. “It’s fine. Go.”

  “But aren’t you coming?” Lana asked.

  “No way. I’m not ready to face him yet.”

  “That’s a very smart move.” Ryon said. “Darius can hold his anger in for a long time. As is why you’re in this mess in the first place.”

  “Tell me about it. Know any way to get him out of it?”

  Ryon laughed. “Sorry, man. Red’s the only one capable of that.”

  I sighed. “Great.”

  “But you should at least come back with us.” Seth said. “Just don’t show up at dinner.”

  The others nodded in agreement and continued to look at me. They just didn’t want to leave me here alone and I should have been grateful but I sighed again anyway before getting up. “All right. We better go before you’re late.”

  “We better get back too.” Ellie said. “I’m sure they’ll be looking for us soon, if they’re not already.”

  Seth nodded. “Okay. We’ll see you later if it’s at all possible.”

  “Oh, we’ll definitely be back.” Ryon smiled. “I don’t know when but we will be.”

  “Looking forward to it.”

  Ryon nodded as he disappeared with Ellie. The rest of us left Carmen’s and headed back to the palace.

  I wasn’t looking forward to this. I watched my friends and my beautiful wife head towards the dining hall but I went for the stairs. I couldn’t walk in there, especially now. I could only imagine what his expression would look like but I would never know what to say to it. Sorry? That wasn’t going to be good enough this time. It had to be something else and I’d spend this time trying to think about what.

  Chapter 10

  Seth

  We had to walk in like everything was normal and we were ready to.

  “Well, we’re glad you made it.” My father said.

  “Sorry, father. Lost track of time.”

  “It’s fine.” Mother said. “We haven’t been here that long.”

  We couldn’t help it but we looked over at Darius while we sat. I could tell he was mad just with the fact that Trever was sitting only a few feet away and now knowing his son couldn’t face him probably made him even madder.

  I could feel the tension rising but my mother seemed just as ready to get this night over with as quickly as possible. “Well, okay. You all know why we’re here. Trever this is your last moon. Are you finally ready to take your place?”

  “Are you giving me the choice because that would be suicide on your part?”

  “Still with the jokes? Well, this isn’t a joke anymore. This is the real thing.”

  “Thank you for even needing to point that out. We were all quite shocked. I think we should just get this over with.”

  Mother smiled as Trever got up from his chair and walked over to her. “Well, what are you nervous about?”

  “The second I put this thing on my head, his spirit is going to part from me and I don’t know what will happen.”

  Mother smiled again while she handed the crown to him. “You’ll be fine.”

  “Oh, I know I’ll be. I’m worried what he’ll do to all of you.” My mother froze and looked around at everyone as Trever took a few steps back with the crown then turned. “Ready or not?”

  He raised the crown up over his head and slowly brought it down. The moment he released his hands from around it, a light glow filled the space around him. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He started to lift up into the air and hovered just three feet from the floor. It was amazing. Everyone was watching. Everyone except for Darius who couldn’t care less about what was happening.

  I still watched. Trever’s mouth opened and a white haze escaped it in a stream like water and begun to form beside him into the spirit of a very large winged-lion. It was bigger than me when I’m a wolf. I looked next to me at Cadence and she was in complete dismay as she watched. I had to take her hand to get her attention and she squeezed it so I knew she felt it.

  Trever was lowered back to the floor next to this large beast and he opened his eyes, looking to his right at the creature who stood height level to his own.

  The lion let out a breath as he stared directly into Trever’s eyes and spoke. “And so we finally meet.”

  “You’ve been a part of me since the day I was born. I’d say we know each other pretty well.”

  “Indeed. It’s good to see that the day has finally come and I’m proud to know you have chosen this life.”

  “It’s better than the alternative.”

  The beast let out a humble chuckle. “Fair enough. I sense everything is in order. The throne once again back in the hands of its rightful owners and your blood heir to continue the true line.”

  Jaylyn’s eyes got wide as she looked at everyone else. We were all confused. Trever clearly tried to hide from it and the wing-lion cranked his head towards the table. His piercing yellow eyes hooked on Darius’s stone stare and his nose wrinkled, exposing his monstrous fangs.

  Everyone froze like a statue as the lion stepped closer, not taking his eyes off Darius. “I thought I killed you.”

  I tried not to move as a reaction, afraid it was going to look at me next but Darius didn’t show one ounce of fear. “And believe me, it was my intent to stay dead but someone felt the need to change that.”

  The winged-lion turned away in anger, opening his wings and flying up into the air, disappearing from sight. I didn’t know what that meant. Would it be back or was it gone for good?

  “You were dead once?” Lana asked.

  Darius didn’t answer but Trever did. “I’m the one that brought him back.”

  Darius’s anger level raised and he turned his head towards him, acknowledging him in the room for the first time. “A mistake!”

  “I owed you. What else was I going to do?”

  “You could have just walked away!” Darius shouted as he stood up. “You didn’t bring me back because you felt the need to repay me! We both knew why you did it! It was because of her!” He pointed to Ruby. “Like you were doing her a favor.”

  “It was a favor and a pretty good one I think. She would have been miserable forever if you weren’t around, even I knew that. I don’t regret it.”

  “That is a load of shit! Wife or no wife. You would have loved that. Everything I had would have been yours and you know what? It might as well be.”

  I didn’t like his words. He started to turn away but Ruby stood up, grabbing his arm as he passed. “Darius, don’t blame Dirk. He didn’t mean what happened earlier. You need to go upstairs and talk to your son.”

  Darius paused for a moment but laughed off her request. “My son? I don’t have a son.”

  My throat just knotted up when he said that and Darius ripped his arm away from her and walked out.

  Ruby was practically going into shock more physically than the rest of us. Her breaths became quick and constant. She had to hold herself up on the back of her chair while turning back to the table. “Lana, go to Dirk. He’s going to need you.”

  Lana nodded as she started to get up, taking a plate of food with her for Dirk. No question that we followed. I just didn’t know how we’d tell him. We couldn’t be the ones to do it. I don’t even think I could be in the room to see his face. This was something that would be all up to Lana.

  Chapter 11

  Dirk

  The silence while waiting up in this room was damn near killing me. I didn’t even know why I was in here. Was I waiting for something to happen? Is that what I wanted? I don’t know why it would be. If anything did happen, I doubt it would be good. I still knew I had to get around this somehow but I wasn’t coming up with a single solution.

  Lana walked in very cautiously while carrying a plate of dinner for me.

  “How was the dinner?” I tried t
o act normal about it but I could tell she wasn’t feeling like anything was normal.

  “It was unexpected.”

  She handed me the plate of food but I noticed something wrong when she turned right away. “What happened?”

  My wife kept her back to me and approached the bed. I could tell from here that she tried as best as she could to keep her emotion calm but she just couldn’t for very long.

  She broke down with her back still turned and I set the plate down to go to her. “Lana, what’s wrong?”

  I touched her waist and she turned to me, falling in my arms, crying. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  I was confused and started to get her to calm down. “Lana? Hey, what do you have to be sorry about?”

  “Your father. I’m sorry.”

  “What about him? Did he say something about me?” She still tried keeping it together when I pulled her away so I could see her face and she only nodded. “Well, what did he say?”

  She started shaking her head as she backed away. “No. I can’t.”

  “What did he say? Tell me. I want to know why you’re so upset.”

  Lana looked up into my eyes and obviously didn’t want to tell me. Her face was drenched with her own tears and her presence was getting hotter like she was nervous but she finally gathered up enough strength. The words I never thought I’d here just flown out like pouring water from a cup. “He was angry that you couldn’t brave dinner and he told us that he doesn’t have a son.”

  My heart almost stopped but my breath did. I think I was in some kind of shock that I didn’t know how to respond at first. It soon started to hit me and I could no longer stay on my feet. I dropped down onto the bed to this reality. “He actually said that?”

  “I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t true.”

  Thoughts of the day went racing through my mind. The look on my father’s face before he passed out and the anger in my mother’s voice when she found out. What had I done? Over the course of the last two years from the uprising, I’ve connected with my father better then when he was always away when I was a child and now this. It changed everything, making it worse.

  I was full of a mixed emotion but somehow accepted it to myself. “So, my father has clearly disowned me then.”

  “Dirk—”

  “I know. It’s no one’s fault but my own.”

  I put my head in my hands and Lana laid her head on me. “Dirk?”

  I looked up and put my arms around her, trying to put a smile on my face. “I’m okay. I just still can’t believe it. It will take some time.”

  “You’ll never know if this is what he really wants unless you talk to him. He may have just said it for something to say. He was very angry after arguing with Trever.”

  “Will he even want to see me? He said he didn’t have a son, Lana. How am I supposed to go to him now?”

  “Don’t go to him as his son. Just go to him as a man. I believe this can be resolved but one of you have to start the process.”

  I sighed to another truth. I guess it’s going to have to be me. “Don’t wait up for me. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

  “I’ll be right here.”

  I turned with the image of my wife’s confident smile and tried to hone it as my own. I was going to need it. It was nerve-wracking just looking at the door down the hall I was about to knock on. I didn’t know what I was going to say but I was sure to be a man about it.

  I knocked on the door but there was no answer, so I walked in and looked around. “Father?”

  There was no one in the room either and it was like no one was even staying here. I walked around a little more, hoping to find something that would help me know where he was and I noticed a note sitting on the table addressed to mother. It wrote:

  My darling Ruby,

  It was a mistake for me to come here as something always goes wrong when I enter this city so I’m letting you know that I left. I’m returning to Randal and if you don’t follow, I’m not going to blame you. I know today wasn’t easy and it finally opened my eyes to how broken our family is. Sometimes I think it would have been better if I left all those years ago instead of putting you through this hurt. Maybe then I might at least see you happy again. I’m sorry.

  Love you always,

  Darius.

  This didn’t sound good. I needed to do something.

  I picked up the pen and wrote a note to my mother right under that of my father’s then immediately left the room. I didn’t even go back to mine to tell Lana what I was doing. I just didn’t want her to worry.

  I headed straight out to the stables to get my horse and left for the gates of Dorlin. I raced through the night at the fastest speed I could, hoping to catch up to my father.

  The darkness wasn’t helping. It was disrupting my sight through the distance but I began to hear the sound of a galloping horse off beat from my own and I knew who it had to be.

  I sped up until he could see him riding up in front of me. “Father!” He remained facing forward and continued to ride like he didn’t hear me. I was only getting frustrated because I knew he could. I sped up my horse even more until I got right next to him. “Father. I know you heard me.” He continued to be silent and didn’t look over at me at all. I was just getting more frustrated, making my eyes turned red and lighting the area about us with fire from my hair. I brought my horse up in front of my father’s to make him stop and acknowledge me. “Would you look at me? Why are you doing this?”

  “Why am I riding home? Because it’s where I belong.” He moved his horse around mine and started walking forward.

  I followed next to him, fading my eyes but I kept a light fire on my hair so we could see. “You know what I mean. Lana told me what you said. You don’t have a son?”

  At first, my father didn’t say anything like he was truly thinking about an answer. “I don’t recall if I do. If I had a son, he would never offend against me.”

  “Father, you would have killed him. You can’t cast me out for valuing life.”

  “It should have been my life you valued but instead you felt to take it.”

  “That’s not what I did. I’ve learned to control it better than mother taught me.”

  “You mean you’ve come to master it?”

  “I guess you could say that I have. I’ve been seeking an alternate from killing that way and I finally found it. I only weakened you with no threat to your life or my energy.”

  I was hoping he saw good in it when he paused again but his voice still didn’t sound so. “But you still should not have intervened. It wasn’t your place.”

  “I know why you hate him so much and I don’t blame you for wanting to kill him but that still doesn’t mean it would have been right, you know that don’t you? I wasn’t going against you. I was just trying to stop you from taking the life that would now be the Kaluian King and I don’t want you to abandon me now. I’m proud to be your son. I always have been.”

  He paused—again. Hopefully, hearing me say that would make him realize that he was wrong about my actions and accepted his faults.

  “You don’t know what it means to me to hear you say that but Trever and I will never be able to reconcile our differences. He is one person I would never give my pardon to.”

  “I understand, father. I just hope you would see me as your son again.”

  He looked over for the first time through this. “You should know that I’ve always been proud of you even if I wasn’t always there. I could never ask for a greater son.”

  He gave me a pat on the back as we continued to ride back to Randal. “I’m glad you think better of me, father but are you still planning on returning home?”

  “Yes. This thing between Trever and I will never go away as is why one of us must. Your mother will understand and agree with my decision.”

  Hearing him say it made me think of the note he left for her. “What did you mean?”

  “About what?”

  “In your not
e, when you said it might have been better if you left all those years ago.”

  My father sighed. “It was a long time ago when we were still at war. I was in love with your mother but getting close to her was hard for me because of my past and I knew it affected her. I was going to leave Dorlin and go back to Randal to see to my death for being a traitor so I wouldn’t hurt her anymore.” I admit I haven’t heard about any of this before and listened on. “The day I decided it is when she got angry and upset at me and she spent that day with Trever instead of me.”

  “Is that why you stayed?”

  “No. I stayed because leaving would have just caused her more pain and I didn’t want that to begin with. That same night is the night I finally put my past behind me and my life could finally begin. She’s going to take what I wrote the wrong way but I can’t go back there. With Aleksander gone, this was the last time I’d ever need to.”

  “I understand.”

  “Are you going to return to the others?”

  “I thought I would come with you. Unless you wish to take this journey alone.”

  “Well, five days in solitude doesn’t seem like the trip one would look forward to. I could use the company if that’s what you want.”

  I smiled to him basically saying he wanted me with him and it felt great to hear. Of course I would go back with him. I was his son again and proud of it.

  Chapter 12

  Ruby

  Darius wasn’t in the room when I entered. I should have looked for him but I was just too tired to deal with any of that and he probably wouldn’t listen. I simply undressed and quickly fell asleep to wait for him.

  That next morning, I woke and realized Darius wasn’t in bed with me like he hadn’t come back at all. The room was still in the untouched condition like when I entered it that previous night but I noticed a single piece of paper sitting on the table that was out of place.