Beautifully Twisted

by Jennifer Domenico

  “But I haven’t done anything. Scotty, I belong to you.”

  Scott lifts his head and shoots a look at her. “Those are just words, baby girl. You don’t belong to anyone. That much is clear.”

  “Are we breaking up?” she asks, tears flowing down her cheeks.

  “I don’t know, Alexa. I don’t know if I can stay sane if I stay with you. You push me to a place that makes it hard for me to breathe. I can’t think straight, I can’t function.” He shakes his head. “I was this close to using this on you,” he sighs and slides the belt through his hand. “You were right. It’s not healthy.”

  “Scotty, please,” Alexa sobs, “I can’t take it if you leave me again.”

  “You should have thought about that before. This is the one thing I’ve asked you not to do and you can’t respect that.”

  “Scotty…” She tries to hug him but he pushes her away.

  “I’m leaving. I don’t know what the future holds but right now I need to get the hell away from you. I need to clear my head.”

  “I’ll cancel the trip, Scotty, I will. I didn’t know it was this important to you.”

  He glares at her. “It’s too late. You’re only making desperate attempts now.” She watches him cross her office and stand in the doorway. “Fuck, Alexa. I really thought we could do this. I really thought this time, we could make it. You’re breaking my fucking heart, Lexi.”

  He turns to leave but Alexa rushes towards him, grabbing his arm. “Scotty, no, please. Give me another chance. We can do this.”

  “I can’t. I tried. I’m just not enough.”

  Alexa wipes the tears from her face. “How can you say that? You are more than enough. God, Scotty, you’re fucking everything to me.”

  “Am I?” he says, but his voice is cold.

  She nods her head. “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted.”

  He laughs, but it’s a mean laugh. “You have a funny way of showing it. You don’t get to have everything your way either. Goodbye, Lexi.” He kisses her cheek, lingering for just a moment. He starts to walk away but Alexa follows him, and even though a shocked Martina sits directly in front of her, Alexa knows she has to try one last time.

  “Scotty, don’t you love me? How can you just leave if you love me?”

  He turns back towards her and smiles and she thinks she may have gotten to him. “I do love you, Alexa. That is true. It always has been. But I won’t be played. I’m not one of the men that will crawl at your feet and lick your fucking boots. That’s not me, baby girl. When you get your head on straight, maybe I’ll still love you. Until then, I’m going to get on with my life and start the process of getting the fuck over you.” With that, he turns and walks down the hall, disappearing around the corner to the elevator bank, leaving a distraught Alexa crying at her assistant’s desk.

  Martina rushes to Alexa and walks her back into the privacy of her own office. She grabs some tissue and hands them to Alexa who sobs uncontrollably sitting on the small sofa in the room.

  “Alexa, oh my gosh, Alexa,” Martina whispers. “I saw it all.”

  Alexa looks up, her eyes full of tears and shock. “You saw it?” she asks, in between sobs.

  Martina nods. “I heard Scott raise his voice and I was afraid for you, after the last time. I just came to the doorway and saw you…” Her voice trails off.

  “You saw me on my knees,” Alexa states, plainly.

  Martina nods and wraps her arms around Alexa as she continues crying. “I don’t understand, Alexa.”

  “I want to leave. I want a drink and a fucking cigarette now.” Alexa twists her body away from Martina’s and stands to get her things.

  “I’m coming with you then. We can go get a drink and talk it out. I think you could really use a kind ear and a warm shoulder to cry on,” Martina offers.

  Alexa nods. Martina was right; she really did need someone to talk about what just happened. “Alright, the pub across the street?” Alexa suggests, blowing her nose and trying to calm down.

  “A lot of people from the office go there. Let’s go to Brendon’s down the street.”

  Alexa smiles. “Yes, let’s do that.”

  “I’ll grab my coat.”

  Alexa picks up her cell phone and dials Scott’s number. It rings and rings with no response before finally going to voicemail. She hangs up and takes a deep breath. She really did it this time. It’s almost unbelievable that their relationship just crumbled to dust.

  “Ready?” Martina asks, appearing in the doorway.

  “Yep,” Alexa says, and grabs her handbag.

  They make their way down to the street and walk down the way to the pub. After choosing a table, Alexa orders an entire bottle of Jameson, while an astonished Martina looks on.

  “What are you drinking, Martina?” Alexa asks.

  “I’ll just have a crown and coke, please,” she says to the waiter. “How much of that are you gonna drink, Alexa?”

  “As much as it takes, Martina.”

  “Okay, so what the heck happened earlier? How did it end with you in tears?”

  Alexa explains the whole dirty business to Martina, everything about Brett and Spain.

  “I have to ask, Alexa, this thing on your knees. That was shocking.”

  “I’m sorry you had to witness that,” Alexa says. She looks up through her tipsy haze and decides to tell Martina all of it. Every last bit. From the beginning until just a few hours ago. As she does, she pours several glasses of the whiskey, loosening her tongue more with each sip. Every so often, she breaks into uncontrolled tears as she explains their whole sordid history, an attentive Martina listening to every word.

  “How did you know you would like that? I mean, you were a virgin right? How did you know that being submissive would work for you?” Martina asks.

  Alexa shrugs. “I guess I didn’t. It was more of an instinct and honestly, Scotty is so fucking hot, I would’ve done anything he said. His proposal was very convincing. I’ve thought about it over the years though and the only thing I can think of is that it has something to do with my childhood.”

  “Was it bad?” Martina is beyond curious to finally understand more about her guarded boss and friend.

  “Not really, it was just…hard. My dad left us when I was a baby and we struggled with money for years. He’s an alcoholic and just has a hard time being stable. My mom got married a lot so I had a lot of stepfathers and new siblings coming in and out of my house. My mom’s third husband was a real ass. He scared me and I thought for sure he would hit us one day.”

  Martina gasps. “Oh my gosh, he didn’t though?”

  Alexa shakes her head. “No, but he had a temper and drank a lot too. I think my mom just kept trying to find the replacement for my father. She’s going through her fourth divorce right now.” She takes another shot of whiskey. “It’s actually really sad. She was a beautiful woman but her insecurities have gotten the best of her. She spends all her husbands’ money on plastic surgery and designer clothes. I think it’s what made me so ambitious to have my own career and work so hard to be independent. That’s why I moved to New York. On the flip side, Scotty was and still is protective and nurturing in his own way. I needed that. It’s another reason his offer was so appealing.” She smiles. “I had a therapist tell me I have daddy issues, so there you go.”

  “So, you let Brett do that to you? The knees thing?” Martina asks.

  Alexa opens her mouth to speak but then remembers she told Brett she would keep his preferences between them. “No, he’s not into that. It was just normal stuff mostly, until I made things stop.”

  Martina nods. “It’s such a surprise to me that you have anything submissive about your personality at all. You certainly don’t come across that way in public.”

  “Scotty taught me this. He taught me how to hold my own in the business world. After we broke up before, it became very easy to hide my feelings because I just shut them off. I really fucked up, Martina. He’s going
to go back to New York and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.” Alexa’s tears flow down her cheeks once more. “I really love him. I know I do.”

  “So go to him, Alexa.” Martina strokes her hand. “Go to him. I’ll rearrange the entire Spain trip or cancel it all together. Go to him.”

  “In New York?” Alexa sobs.

  “Yes, in New York. I saw his eyes, Alexa. The way he looked at you was heartbreaking. I don’t know that I agree with how he handled this, but he loves you too and nothing has happened that can’t be undone. But, the two of you need to figure out a new way to communicate and a new way to fight. And you need to resolve this issue with Brett.”

  “I know, but in my eyes it’s not an issue anymore.”

  “Alexa, wouldn’t you feel the same way if the situation was reversed?”

  Alexa stares at Martina, hit by a sudden clarity. “Yeah, I would. I get it. I just thought I needed to stand up for myself.”

  “Let’s do a little test. Just say the first thing that comes to your mind, k?” Martina asks, and Alexa nods. “If it came down to it and you had to choose between Braveheart or Scotty the hotty which would you choose.”

  “Scotty, hands down. No decision.”

  “Good. Now if you had to choose between London or Spain, which would it be?”

  “London.”

  “See, this is easy. Next question. You have to choose between your position at Patrick Collins Media and Scotty. Which one would you choose?”

  Without hesitation, Alexa answers, “Scotty.” Then she opens her striking green eyes wide and stares at Martina, her mouth open slightly. “Jesus, Martina. Scotty. I would choose Scotty.”

  “Perfect. Then you know what you need to do, right?”

  Alexa nods. “Go to him.”

  “Right. I’ll book your ticket tomorrow and you’ll tell him tonight.”

  Alexa smiles. “Yes. I’ll tell him right now.” She digs her phone out of her handbag and dials his phone. She listens as it rings and rings, going to voicemail once more. “I guess he isn’t going to answer,” she states, softly.

  “Then you can surprise him. He’ll know when he sees you how much he means to you. I’m sure of it,” Martina says, smiling.

  “Yeah me too.”

  “Let’s get you out of here and back to your place. You’re gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

  Alexa smiles and stands, wobbling only slightly, but fully aware that the only place she wants to be right now is in New York City with Scott Fucking Patrick.

  Three days later, Alexa sits in her first class seat waiting nervously to land in New York’s La Guardia airport. Scott has no idea she’s coming and she hopes he’s at least open to seeing her. He refuses to answer her calls so she knows he’s still mad. After navigating the airport she steps out into the cold air of the city and hails a taxi. She wonders how it will feel to see Scott’s posh penthouse again. The last time she was there, he left her crying and naked on his bedroom floor. She never thought she’d be there again. Maybe I won’t.

  Alexa tells the driver Scott’s address and tries his phone one more time. Still no answer. She hopes he’s home. Looking out the window at the busy city, she sees thousands of people going on with their lives, while her future hangs in the balance. The only thing she wants, no needs, is to be in Scott Patrick’s arms again.

  The taxi pulls up in front of Scott’s building and Alexa steps out, walking hesitantly inside. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he hates me? She walks to the front desk and confidently requests his apartment. The girl at the front desk appears slightly nervous but smiles politely and rings his phone.

  “Mr. Patrick? Sorry to disturb you, sir, but there is a Miss Alexa Drake here to see you.” Alexa watches as the girl nods her head. “Yes, sir, Alexa Drake. Right away, sir.” The girl smiles at Alexa. “You can go up, ma’am.”

  “Thank you,” Alexa says. Well, that was easier than I thought. She walks to the elevator bank and pushes the button for the penthouse suite. She loved Scott’s place. It looked over the entire city of Manhattan and was as beautiful as any luxury hotel she’d ever seen. It fit him, and his incredible physical beauty, perfectly. She walks down the plush carpeted hallway that leads to his foyer, her stomach turning as she nears his door. There were no other homes up here, just a spacious entryway wrapped in creamy marble and expensive art. Standing before the massive steel doors that led to Scott’s inner sanctum, she pauses for a second before ringing the bell. Beyond these doors, her life began, in that special room she would forever call The Garden. She remembers the first time she saw it.

  “Are you ready, baby girl? This is the secret place I’ve been telling you about.” Scotty tells me as we stand before a large door.

  “I think so,” I whisper, nervous but excited.

  “It’s called The Garden. In here, we can do anything we like. We are only limited by our imaginations. I think you’re ready.”

  I take a deep breath. “Why do you call it The Garden, Scotty?”

  I watch his breathtaking smile fill his face. “I call it that because behind these doors, is paradise.”

  She takes a deep breath and presses the doorbell, waiting anxiously for Scott to appear. She waits for a moment and when he doesn’t answer, she notices the door is slightly ajar. She walks in, calling out his name. Still no answer. The main room is dark, with just the late afternoon winter sun for light. Is it possible he’s already waiting in The Garden for her?

  She removes her coat and sets down her handbag, then walks slowly down the hallway to her favorite room. As much as she would like to feel excitement, what she actually feels is closer to foreboding. Placing her hand on the crystal doorknob, she stands before the large black leather upholstered door that leads into the room containing Scott’s bag of tricks. Taking a deep breath she opens it and walks in and then… Fuck.

  “You decided this, Alexa. I told you I was going to do whatever I needed to do to get over you. You are free to live your life,

  isn’t that what you wanted?”

  ~ Scotty

  “Hello, Alexa. What a pleasant surprise,” Scott says, his voice beyond cold. “Why don’t you come in and enjoy the show?”

  Alexa’s mouth hangs open at the scene in front of her. Scott sits back in his large wooden chair, naked, some blond chick collared and sucking his incredible cock. Alexa’s eyes shift around the room and she notices another woman shackled to the bed, clearly waiting her turn. Hot tears burn her eyes as she turns back to look at Scott.

  “Are you next, baby girl?”

  “Fuck you, Scott.”

  “Is that why you came all this way? To get another dose of my cock?” He reaches between his legs and grabs the girl’s hair, pulling her mouth away from him for a moment. “Do you want this to be you? You’d give Alexa your collar, wouldn’t you, Jacinda?”

  The girl turns her pretty head and bats her big blue eyes at Alexa. “Whatever you wish, sir,” she says obediently.

  Alexa turns to leave, disgusted with herself for thinking she could fix things, and disgusted with him for acting out in this way. She walks as fast as she can back down that hallway but it seems a hundred miles long. Her legs feel barely capable of carrying her and her heart beats fast in her chest. She’s not sure she can take this, not sure she’s strong enough. Scott Patrick may just have succeeded in breaking her.

  She gets to the end of the hallway, but pauses, holding herself up against the wall. Her tears break free and she tries with all her might to breathe, clutching at her chest as though somehow that will help. Stumbling into the living room, she snatches her coat and bag from the couch as she walks to the front door in a haze. Before she reaches the door, she trips on the floor rug, dropping her handbag and spilling its contents across the floor. She stares at the mess wishing she could will herself to be back in London and far, far away from this place. Crawling across the marble floor, she collects her things, and sobs nearly to the point of hyperve
ntilating. Pulling herself to her feet, she wipes her face and heads back to the door, stopping at the sight before her. Scott stands in front of the door, blocking her exit, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. She stares at him knowing only that she needs to get out of there as fast as possible.

  “Get out of my way, you fucking bastard,” Alexa says, her voice full of determination.

  “You came to my house, Alexa. I’ll decide when you leave.” He grins at her. “Come back to The Garden with me.” She can tell from his voice that he’s been drinking.

  “Fuck you. I mean it–Fuck. You. I hate you!” She charges towards him, deciding she will just have to push her way past him.

  He grabs her arms preventing her from passing. “You don’t hate me, or you wouldn’t be here right now. Why did you come, Alexa?”

  “Get out of my way.”

  “Answer me first.”

  “You want to know why? Because I thought you were telling me the truth when you said you loved me, and I thought I was too when I said it back. But this isn’t what love is supposed to feel like, Scott. This isn’t what love looks like. You don’t know how to love a person any more than I do. I was right all along, we are not good together.”

  “You decided this, Alexa. I told you I was going to do whatever I needed to do to get over you. You are free to live your life, isn’t that what you wanted?” He looks angry but Alexa can hear the hurt in his voice.

  “By fucking two women at once? That’s how you get over me?”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “For the record, I came here for you. I came because I finally realized that you’re the only man I’ve ever loved and ever want to. I came…” she pauses and wipes another tear from her cheek. “I came to lie at your feet and give you everything I have. I came to love you. It may be a fucked up, dysfunctional love, but it’s all I have and it’s all for you. It’s clear to me now, I made a mistake. Goodbye, Scotty.” Alexa stares at him with a resolve that finally convinces him to step aside, letting her walk out his door.

  Alexa descends in the elevator, feeling her heart sink as each floor passes. She knew Scott was capable of many things but that scene was more than she ever could have expected. He wanted her to see it, wanted her to feel the pain flowing through her body. She decides to walk back to her hotel, hoping the airport shuttle successfully delivered her baggage to the hotel while she left her last shred of dignity lying on the floor of Scott Patrick’s penthouse. When she gets there, she’ll call the airline and see how fast she can get the hell out of New York. She walks through the crowded city, weaving in and out of the throngs of people enveloping her. Only in New York can you be surrounded by so many people and feel like the loneliest person on the planet.