Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  She may not overwhelm your friends with her vivacity and sparkling flattery, but she won’t fail to impress you with her charm. July women prefer to save their deepest emotions for people closest to them. After you’ve dated other women and compared them to her, you may go running right back to your female crab, and beg her to hang on again. Tightly.

  The trickiest aspect in handling her is to keep her from crawling into the always handy, tough Cancerian shell. Her feelings are so sensitive and tender, the slightest unintentional remark can wound her harshly. It’s hard to know when she’ll suddenly become vulnerable to hidden meanings. You could waltz in some night and say, “Your hair looks gorgeous,” and she’ll get a tear in her eye. Why? Because you insinuated her hair looked frightful the last time you saw her. Cancer women can be quite touchy. They cry a lot. Always have a fresh handkerchief ready.

  Females born under the sign of the crab aren’t necessarily stingy, but they have this little habit of saving things. You could say it’s a downright compulsion. She’ll seldom throw away pieces of string, buttons, jars, cans, husbands, or old dress patterns. Who are you to say she won’t find a purpose for those torn theater stubs, faded love letters and used tea bags? Someday in the unpredictable future, she may need the burned-out fuses she keeps in the drawer with those broken Christmas ornaments. Don’t ask her how she’s going to find a use for two hundred socks, long divorced from their mates. She will, she will! This isn’t the woman to take kindly to someone who burns a hole in the heirloom bedspread her great-aunt Matilda quilted. Everything has a sentimental value, including canceled checks from 1995 and her old Girl Scout badges. She treasures the things she owns and guards them jealously. That, of course, includes you. She’s not so much jealous as possessive. There’s a shade of difference.

  Women born under the fire signs may strain and protest against life’s delays and disappointments, but the Cancer female usually feels nothing can be changed or overcome by getting all stirred up. When things don’t go her way, she may shed a few quiet tears alone, but her normal reaction will be to fold her hands serenely and wait patiently for things to right themselves. Patience is one of her loveliest virtues. When she’s depressed, however, you’ll have to find a way to take her out of herself. Try to catch her before she has burrowed too deep. She does have a way of wanting to be babied. The desire to be a little spoiled by loved ones seems to be buried deep in the Cancerian nature. She needs desperately to know you can’t live without her, and sometimes she’ll go to great lengths to arouse your pity and protective instincts, just to be assured she means a lot to you. It’s really very little for her to ask, when she gives so much in return. But don’t be fooled by her weakness during these episodes. That helpless little baby who seeks your big, strong arms to keep out the cold, cruel world, is perfectly able to manage by herself, if she must. In the middle of a quarrel, when your lunar lady looks up at you with her eyes all wet and dewy and frightened, remember that after you leave and are safely around the corner, she’s likely to dry her eyes, put some uplifting music on, and calmly clean out her closets. Of course, you can’t rule out the times when her depression is real, instead of a typical Cancerian bid for sympathy. Those nights you’d better stay, listen to the music with her, and hold her hand tenderly.

  There’s no end to the heroic sacrifice a Cancer woman will be capable of for those she loves. The bravery she can’t seem to muster for herself and her own fears is there shining when someone close needs her to be strong. She’ll never let you down when things get really dismal, and then she’ll remind you more of a gigantic, rugged rock than a fragile, silvery moonbeam. Her children will also find her a tower of strength and refuge. She’ll help them find their way with sensitive understanding. They’ll cling to her, and the warmth of her love will make their home as rich and comfortable and bright as a palace, even if it’s a shack. You might suffer a slight loss of attention when the babies come along. Cancer rules motherhood, you know. There will still be room for you, but you’ll have to move over a few inches. (A childless Cancerian woman will love an animal or her friends with her stored up maternal affection, and the pets and pals will be fortunate.) Like baby birds, her youngsters will probably be fed every time she finds their mouths open, and always the food will be hot and nourishing.

  Nothing is too good for her family. When a child sneezes, he’ll get plopped into bed with medicines, hot tea and chicken broth until he gets old enough to resist. The offspring of a Cancer mother won’t get away without wearing his thick sweater on a cold night, his scarf and mittens in the snow or his galoshes in the rain. A child has to have lots of will power to fight the crab’s protective solicitude. He has to be pretty tough not to get spoiled, too. It’s often quite a jolt when he goes out into the world and finds out he’s not the center of everyone’s universe. Such complete dedication and devotion can give him a wonderful featherbed of security to fall back on when life gets too real, but it can also make him abnormally dependent on home ties, and unable to see his own faults. It’s often impossible to tell whether a Cancer mother ties her children to her apron strings or they choose to tie the knot themselves. She’ll save every spelling test paper, proudly hang clumsy crayon drawings on the wall and tenderly wrap baby shoes in tissue paper. Those little wrinkled bits of white kidskin are precious, because the lunar parent with her clear, photographic memory, will recall a child’s first steps long after he’s flown away from the nest. The flight itself may be painful. Cancer women are reluctant to give up their youngsters to the ties of marriage. They tend to hang on too hard and too long, and think no one is good enough for them. Sometimes, the potential bride or groom of a man or woman with a July parent has to pass everything but the ink blot test to get approved.

  I once knew a Cancer mother who used to meet her small son every day after school. He would always come bursting through the door like a jet-propelled rocket, and immediately run furiously around the schoolyard a few times before he came near her. Once, when she was accompanied by her sister, the aunt started to go after the little boy, but the Cancer mother stopped her. “No, let him be,” she said quietly. “He’s just working off steam. He’ll be back when he’s through running.” Finally her son walked over to her, took her hand and said, “Let’s go home, Mom. I’m hungry.”

  That sums up the whole attitude of the lunar female toward all forms of love, and most of all toward her marriage. It’s her strange brand of possessiveness that’s unshakable, but never aggressive. She knows, in her secret heart, that no matter how far away you go to follow your dream, you’ll always come back again and she’ll be there patiently waiting. Her eyes will still be beautiful with the moon magic you remember, the kitchen will smell deliciously of warm spices, and she’ll ask you how things went, how you feel. If things went badly and you feel miserable, she’ll tell a joke to get you to laugh. Then she’ll fill your stomach, and after you’re relaxed, she’ll gently smooth away your worries with her sensible advice and her rich humor. Later, in the firelight, you’ll look at her serene face and ask yourself all over again, “Is she really a moon maiden from some misty garden or a lovable loony bird?” But the answer won’t seem very important.

  The CANCER Child

  Dear, dear, how queer everything is today!

  And yesterday things went on just as usual

  Write it down so you’ll remember it and not be surprised every day of your life: your Cancer baby will change his moods as frequently as you change his diaper. It’s a strange, new world for the lunar infant. He’ll be fascinated by delicious things to eat and drink, and he’ll love all the colorful pictures which pass before his sharp little eyes, and impress themselves on his indelible memory. What he experiences will never leave him. When he’s old and gray, your Cancerian boy or girl will remember every feeling and emotion, and be able to give it back as an exact image.

  One of the dearest Cancerian women I ever knew was born in Europe, and when she was ill, she would sing every word of the Rus
sian lullabies she had heard as a child, even though she came to America almost half a century ago. Most of us would be lucky if we remembered the tune or words to “Rockabye Baby.”

  From breakfast until bedtime, the busy mind of the Cancerian child will be recording what he sees and hears. It’s difficult for worldly adults to follow him up his moon mountain of dreams or go beside him as he wades in the streams of his luminous imagination. His emotions are rich, colorful and varied, but for all that, he may be lonely.

  Playing with lunar babies can be loads of fun. They’re funny little creatures, with droll expressions and eyes that almost talk by themselves. Their features constantly contort with tears, twist with a grimace or spread wide with smiles. It’s interesting to watch those elastic expressions, but you may frequently wish you could predict when he’s going to giggle, or get that faraway look in his eye as he listens to the curious music every moon child hears.

  These youngsters have more emotional needs than Pisces boys and girls. Much more than with any other children, the strongest influence on Cancerians is always the early home environment From infancy through the teens, young crabs are tremendously dependent on the reactions of their parents and their brothers and sisters. Your lunar child may be too shy to express his real inner desires, but he secretly wants to be made over, cuddled and adored. If he doesn’t get attention and approval from his family, relatives and friends, the rejection can simply crush him. I have a close friend who was born in July. Late one night in her kitchen (where else?), we were talking about her childhood.

  She told me, “When I was a little girl in grade school, my parents gave me ten or fifteen cents a week to spend. But I never spent it. I saved it, so I could give a prize.”

  “For what?” I asked her.

  A wistful look passed across her wonderfully mobile features. “Well, I used to offer fifty cents at the end of each month to the friend who treated me the nicest.”

  At first I was amused, and started to remind her of all the candy and treats she had missed by passing out her entire allowance for kind treatment, but something in her eyes changed my mind.

  Although your young Cancerian may briefly turn into a rebel without a cause in adolescence, during his tender years, the little crab is usually easy to manage and discipline. His inner life is very real to him, and he’ll happily play by himself for many hours. He may even have an invisible playmate called something like Boris or Betty, who helps him make mud pies, plant imaginary flowers or play cowboy and Indian. The make-believe Boris or Betty are always well-behaved and courteous. They will always let the Cancer youngster win, and they’ll give in to his desire to be a gentle leader without a murmur. Sometimes these imaginary playmates will disappear for weeks at a time, but they’ll return as soon as a real, live neighborhood chum or schoolmate wounds those little lunar feelings or bosses the moon child around too much. As docile and quiet as most Cancerians are, Cancer is a cardinal Sun sign of leadership. Despite their tender emotions and gentle manners, they are not followers. There’s a great deal of independent thinking and individualism.

  If your offspring follows the pattern of most July children, he’ll get his way and be slightly spoiled around the edges. It’s the squeaky hinge that gets the most oil. He won’t exactly squeak, but he can get mighty weepy when he’s ignored or treated harshly. Talk about tears! A moon child can cry rivers and flood a room. It’s as if someone left the kitchen spigots running. If all that dampness doesn’t get him the tender sympathy he must have for healthy emotions, the little Cancerian boy or girl will grow up into a dry-eyed adult with a barren heart, unable to give or receive love easily—seeking solitude, forming very few warm friendships—and become a recluse in old age.

  When such a sensitive little crab is in your care, it’s really urgent to laugh and cry with him and to calm his fears. He’ll have a whole passel of them. Your own lunar child may not have each one on the list, but he’s sure to have quite a few. He can be afraid to go to sleep in the dark without a soft night light, afraid of fire and matches, afraid of fast cars and loud noises. He can fear strangers, large animals, bright lights, food he’s never tasted before, lightning and thunder.

  Lots of young loony-birds get the blues when it rains. A spring or fall shower can do strange things to the inner nature. It can make him suddenly want to write a poem, paint a picture or make music. At other times, it can cause him to hide his frightened little head under the bedspread, while his bottom half protrudes and trembles visibly.

  This child requires much emotional empathy to develop his fine, loving, artistic and creative qualities. If it is given wholeheartedly in his formative years, it will help him grow into a patient, generous, quietly confident and open-hearted adult. If attentive understanding is denied him, his natural compassion and gentleness may be warped and twisted into self-pity and bitter, silent brooding. Fear, unless coped with early, can become illogical prejudice and hatred. Little crabs who have been stunted in their emotional growth sometimes turn into suspicious snappers, often revengeful and even suicidal. At best, these moody, unhappy men and women lead sad, uneventful lives, unless they make a dramatic decision to bury themselves in building a financial empire or developing a latent talent. Either one can mercifully replace the love and affection withheld from the gentle lunar heart when it was the most vulnerable—in childhood.

  It can’t be emphasized enough that these sensitive children can imagine hurts or slights, and dream up a rejection which never existed. Special care has to be taken to convince them that they’re good, smart, pretty, handsome, loved and wanted. Many parents sense this, which is why lots of little crabs are pampered so much at home that they get quite a shock as adults when they discover the world takes a cool, disinterested view of their personal desires. No wonder so many Cancerians fondly remember Mama and practically build a shrine to her as they grow older. No one else will ever again care quite so much. The big question with a moon child is always whether to be overly firm and warp him, or overly permissive and spoil him. Finding the middle road is never easy, and the problem can keep you up a few nights. The keyword is: relax. Love usually finds the way. The best formula is a good old-fashioned spanking when he needs it, with plenty of hugs and kisses and lots of physical expressions of affection at all other times.

  Teachers normally find the Cancerian boys and girls whizzes in history. They seldom forget dates or events. That’s because, thanks to their mirror-like sensitivity, they can read about something that happened years ago, and almost believe they were there. If Paul Revere, Thomas Jefferson, or Abraham Lincoln themselves could return and tell their stories, they probably wouldn’t be recounted with much more color than the typical young Cancerian uses when he discusses the happenings of the dim and dusty past. It’s as if they actually saw the Battle of Lexington, the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the shot fired on Fort Sumter. There’s hardly a detail they can’t imagine. It’s easy to see why so many of these sensitive boys and girls go on the stage, become creative photographers or follow a distinguished career in music or art. Instructors of the young lunar mind may now and then complain of stubbornness or daydreaming, but it’s not often that either failing becomes pronounced enough to be really troublesome. There may be some exaggerating. The boy may describe the ordeal of being attacked in the woods by a dangerous bear to explain some scratches caused by a fall from his own front porch. The girl may give a sad recital of how she was locked out with no supper by cruel parents, after what was only a mild argument with her family. But a few tall tales can be expected when you consider the strong mental impressions created by reading adventure stories with the lunar imagination. When there’s real heartache, instead of make-believe tragedy, the typical Cancerian child will normally remain quiet and decline to speak about it. There’s an old Chinese proverb: “He who is really hurt—doesn’t talk.”

  Like the Libran child, happy Cancerian youngsters can run up the family food bill to fantastic proportions and soot
hing hurt feelings caused by the nickname Fatty is common. If there’s a lot of brooding or nervousness, the nickname may be Skinny. It’s best to bypass all nicknames with moon children. They should never be teased.

  Most young crabs look forward to working for pay, and they’ll scour the neighborhood for odd jobs. Your Cancer child will begin early to cut grass, sweep leaves and babysit. He’ll return bottles for refunds, help hang out the laundry, assist the trash men, sell lemonade at the curb, or anything else he can think of that will make his pockets jingle. The pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters—and finally the dollars he makes will be carefully accounted for, and a good portion of them saved. After a while, you may be able to save some yourself—on his allowance. He’ll probably supply his own spending money sooner than other children, and be proud of it. You’ll find him easy on your pocketbook in many ways. These children often work their way through college. The boys will have a healthy curiosity about the business world. The girls will be efficient in cash matters, too, but they’ll also spend lots of time with their dolls and baking brownies, practicing to be a mother some day.

  The Cancer child will keep you amused with his jokes and his contagious laugh. He can make funny faces that look like Halloween masks, and he sees the humor in every facet of the human parade as it passes. Give him, if possible, a little plot of earth he can call his own, where he can plant things with his green thumb and watch them grow. He’ll be tenderly concerned with relatives who are ill, financial emergencies in the family, and the difficulties of his friends and neighbors. Lunar youngsters love books about heroic people who braved hardships to do great deeds, and they’ll be especially gentle and sympathetic with animals. But if they feel cruelly treated themselves, they may pass on the cruelty, or rather, reflect it to others smaller than themselves in a sort of “kick the cat” progression. Young crabs can live up to the name and be quite crabby, but such moods seldom last more than a few hours, before they’re replaced by a lovable loony grin.