Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  One nice thing about being in love with this woman is that she’ll do all your worrying for you, and possibly even enjoy it. She’ll keep you from goofing without robbing you of your manhood, an art that women born under other Sun signs might well imitate.

  As for the matter of faithfulness, you may hear of a rare Virgo female who, for her own unfathomable reasons, has decided to toss away virtue with a vengeance, but there’s usually a desire to prove something to herself at the bottom of such a spree, and it won’t last long. Virgo females who take an occasional whirl down the primrose path of promiscuity are clever enough to cover up the lapse, and such behavior is most certainly an exception. Ordinarily, if she really loves you, you’d be safe to trust the typical Virginian woman with the sexiest man you know on a desert island for a month. For two months? Well, Virgos are human, you know. They’re not walking, talking computers. They have hearts warmer than people suspect, and emotions that can thunder with feeling, even if they don’t care to rent a billboard to advertise it. The emotional nature of Virgo is controlled, but not nonexistent. Remember that. It will give you courage.

  The Virgo female is annoyingly meticulous about small things, but she can also be the kindest, most generous and affectionate little creature in the world. Consider her perfectionism a virtue, instead of a vice. With all the impulsiveness rampant in the world, what would we do without the sharp eye and mind of Virgo? Even while she’s irritating you with her critical ways, there’s a lovable quality about her that’s downright irresistible. But of course you’ve already discovered that, or you wouldn’t be shaving twice a day and working on that book she suggested you write. Her modest manner and soft, clear eyes have done their job well. You’ve probably even found out how much fun she is when people don’t pick on her, and what a clever wit lies inside that pretty head. It’s a lovely and strange thing, that when Virgo women laugh, it often sounds like the peal of little bells.

  She has no illusions, so don’t try to sell her any phony ideas. To her, truth is beauty—and beauty is truth. Get used to taking out the trash every three hours, be kind to her stray kittens, and she’ll perform the pipe and slippers routine with feminine grace. She’ll share herself cautiously, only with one she trusts, and little things mean a lot to her. Despite her modesty and natural shyness, she’s tough enough and strong enough for others to find comforting when dark clouds gather. The quiet courage and deep sense of responsibility of Virgo women often acts as a magic glue to hold large families together. She’ll probably be a good cook, and she’ll never poison you with her soup. Your house will be clean and cozy, and the big bowl on the coffee table will hold apples instead of chocolate candies (bad for the teeth and general health).

  You’ll probably never see your youngster running around the neighborhood with a runny nose, a jam-stained face or torn sneakers. You won’t find tiny fingers scattering your tobacco or coloring on your private papers, either. With the kids, she’ll be a firm disciplinarian. Virgo women seldom have more than one or two children, and don’t seem to need motherhood to satisfy their femininity. But once baby has bounced into her life, she’ll never neglect his physical, moral or educational needs. She may not supply his emotional needs as easily, but if she’s sure of your love and knows she’s appreciated, she’ll relax and give her offspring plenty of warm affection. Little ones often find Virgo mothers delightfully funny and gentle. They’ll be firm, and try to instill good habits, but they have a tender touch that tells a child he’s securely loved.

  Remember the poem that says you shouldn’t buy bread with your last sixpence, but “hyacinths for the soul?” Give this woman both. You may often catch her busy with her crafty hobbies or experimenting with a new recipe, and if you have a really typical Virgo wife, your house may be full of the heavenly mixed fragrance of fresh flowers and hot, home-made bread, baking crisply in the oven. It’s pretty nice to come home to. She’ll dust off all your old dreams and make them shine again, and you’ll have a partner who will never borrow your razor or co-opt your favorite sweatshirt. She’ll nurse you like an angel when you’re ill, and she won’t embarrass you by flirting with your best friend. She’ll dress neatly and be able to talk with you about something besides the latest fashions and office gossip. You’ll get every ounce of loyalty and devotion you deserve. She won’t throw emotional scenes of jealousy or throw your money away foolishly. She’ll keep your secrets in her heart, help you organize your work, and probably won’t get wrinkled in middle age. Now really, isn’t all that worth minding your manners and keeping your fingernails clean? Her eyes are cool pools of pure love, and when she smiles, she can light up a whole room with her radiance. Better keep her. You may never get so lucky again.

  The VIRGO Child

  But four young oysters hurried up,

  All eager for the treat:

  Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

  Their shoes were clean and neat—

  As he tries to imitate the sounds he hears in the nursery, the tiny Virgo infant carries the seed of a seldom-mentioned Virginian talent for acting. The ability to mimic manifests itself almost from birth. The Virgo baby is alert and quick, yet at the same time more peaceful and tranquil than other infants, a contradiction which foreshadows a future personality that will soothe and irritate by turn.

  Don’t try to feed your little Virgo applesauce when he wants peaches or you may be in for a long siege. You’ll end up with applesauce all over the high chair, but baby won’t end up with a speck of it in his stomach if he doesn’t like it, though he’ll smile charmingly as he firmly turns his head away. He may surprise you by preferring spinach to ice cream. Virgo’s meticulous selectivity about food shows early.

  Aside from being fussy eaters and an occasional spell of fretful indigestion, raising a Virgo youngster is a pleasant experience, with little conflict and few tantrums. Even when they’re very small, these children are inclined to be neat and put away their toys cheerfully. Your Virgo youngster may be bashful and quiet in company or crowds, but around family and friends the cat certainly won’t get his tongue. He’ll probably talk early and fluently, except in front of strangers. A Virgo child is seldom troublesome, and he’s a wonderful companion as mother does her housework. He’ll happily imitate whatever she is doing and he’ll usually mind the first time he’s told, with little scolding necessary.

  In school, Virgos are apt to be teacher’s pets, simply because they’re the easiest boys and girls to discipline and the ones who study their lessons carefully. It’s a delight to instruct the typical, bright Virgo child with gentle manners. Criticism, however, should be used sparingly. Too much stress on mistakes will cause him to worry unduly, sometimes to the point of actual illness.

  A lecture in front of the class will be painfully mortifying, and it may smother the desire to learn for a long period. Virgo youngsters need to be told only once, quietly, if an error has been made. They’ll be just as concerned as the teacher with correcting it, perhaps more so.

  Often the mundane chores, disliked by the rest of the class, will be accepted as important responsibilities by Virgo children. They’re efficient, dependable little people, with a serious, but friendly, pleasant disposition, though they’re sensitive enough to become cranky if teased by more extroverted classmates. The Virgo child is markedly adaptable, probably just as adept at painting scenery as he is at editing the school paper. It wouldn’t hurt to suggest that the Virgo youngster try out for dramatics. He won’t seek the spotlight, but he might show a surprising ability to interpret characters with convincing reality, if he can overcome his stage fright.

  Virgo’s honesty and careful attention to details make him a favorite choice to grade papers when the teacher needs help. As a class monitor, he’ll be ethical and alert. But there are occasions when the teacher can get a red face when she’s made an erroneous statement (teachers being only human), and the normally shy, quiet little Virgo raises his hand to point out the mistake in no uncertain terms. Virgo s
tudents want to know the whys and the facts. They’ll rarely question authority, but they will question knowledge in books unless they know what’s behind it. The printed word often isn’t enough for the inquisitive, painstaking Virgo mind. These children need plenty of educational toys, and when they’re very young they should be read to as much as possible. They’ll become most unhappy misfits as adults if they haven’t received a full education. To know less than others turns Virgos into irritable introverts, who are painfully embarrassed by their inadequacies.

  It’s best to ignore the Virgo teenager when he or she begins to notice the opposite sex. Teasing a girl about her first boy friend can give her a permanent emotional scar, and probing into a boy’s dates can head him toward bachelorhood. Virgos don’t easily accept close relationships leading to marriage, and the path should be made as smooth as possible.

  You’ll have to supply your Virgo child’s emotional needs with signs of physical affection. He’ll never show you how deeply he desires this kind of love, but the lack of it will strongly affect his future relationships. Even very pretty and very smart little girls—and very handsome, clever little boys have to be convinced they’re interesting. It’s hard for them to believe that their modest unassuming ways are as attractive as the more aggressive personalities of their friends. The Virgo ego can stand lots of encouragement without becoming excessive, so don’t be stingy with bear hugs, kisses, sincere compliments and pats on the back. Your Virgo child needs large, daily doses of such emotional vitamins, along with his cod liver oil.

  He’ll have many exact habits, and he’ll complain if his belongings are moved or his privacy invaded. He does certain things at certain times, and if his personal schedule is upset, he will be, too. It may be dangerous to ask him for a frank opinion; otherwise, he’ll usually be refreshingly polite to company. This child will criticize every member of the family, sometimes with amusing, but cutting imitations of their faults. He’ll probably ask for his own room early and be fussy about your cooking. No lumps in the mashed potatoes, please, and not so much seasoning in the stuffing. But he’ll show an excellent sense of responsibility before most other children have learned the alphabet. He’ll be sympathetic with Mother’s headaches and Daddy’s financial problems. You can expect him to try sincerely to make good grades at school, willingly help around the house and manage his allowance carefully.

  Although he’s far from a model of perfection, and you’ll feel like shaking him when he makes you take the beans out of the chili, or refuses to wear the shirt you just ironed because it has two small wrinkles—most of the time, a Virgo child is a joy to have around the house.

  These children should have a kitten or a bird, so they can learn the lessons of love quietly and unobtrusively, by caring for the helpless. Don’t buy him a St. Bernard or a police dog. If he’s a typical Virginian youngster, he’ll prefer a smaller pet. He’ll be fascinated by one of those ant villages. Watching the tiny ants industriously going about their business at close range should really intrigue his curious, practical little mind.

  Listen to him when he talks. He has wisdom beyond his years. You can afford to keep nagging at a minimum, because he’ll try very hard to please you if he knows exactly what you expect of him. Remember that his imagination needs plenty of boosting and lots of room to grow, or it can easily become stifled. You need never worry about spoiling him or giving him too many illusions. The Virgo child is made of sterner stuff than that.

  Give him all the lovely dreams you can crowd into his heart. Such bright moments of fantasy will guarantee him a much-needed emotional balance when he grows up. Be very sure he has a secret star to wish on. Memories of magical daydreams will keep him from being lonely in the years to come, and there will be many occasions for future loneliness. Unlike other children, the young Virgo may not be very fond of fairy stories and make-believe. He’s a true little realist. Perhaps that’s why he needs them most of all.

  The VIRGO Boss

  “We can talk,” said the Tiger-lily:

  “when there’s anybody worth talking to.”

  If you have a Virgo boss, be kind to her. She’s probably secretly troubled and unhappy. Virgos are not born to be high-powered executives who lead others forcefully, and they very often regret the decision to bite off more than they can chew. Of course, due to individual planetary positions and aspects in the natal chart, there are certainly some Virgos who are extremely competent in positions of power, but they’re few and far between. You can probably count the ones you know on the toes of one foot.

  The typical Virgo executive is at her best as the power behind the throne, the one who dependably carries through the original ideas of others. She’s happier and more successful in the checkmate position of chairman of the board, than as the president of a huge corporation, who has to cope with the problems of her employees and present a jolly company image. The very last thing most Virgos want is to glorify the self and become a listening post for everyone’s troubles. Goodness knows, they have enough troubles of their own to keep them busy worrying for a lifetime, even if many of them are imaginary.

  Coping with the pressure of being responsible for the impulsive actions of progressive associates, firing orders at subordinates, and pushing public relations, while juggling the finances of big empires, requires a thicker skin and a fatter ego than the average Virgo possesses. One reason she’s such an unhappy misfit as an executive is because she tends to see the trees clearly and completely miss the forest—yet this is the very trait which makes her such an indispensable jewel as the woman who guides the president of the firm. She may not be the one who sees the big picture, but she can erase the fuzziness from the pictures the more aggressive people paint so carelessly. If anyone can manipulate complicated projects and see them through with a minimum of disastrous mistakes, it’s a Virgo. She can take the wildest schemes, with a thousand dangerous, dangling loose ends and make them work. A talent like that should never be wasted up front, where there’s not enough privacy to accomplish her meticulous miracles. In fact, if she’s forced to perform her organizational magic before a public audience, the Virgo is likely to look as if she’s double-talking, when she’s really not. The Virgo whose hidden vanity has caused her to be put in such a position usually ends up accused of this very thing.

  A Virgo will pull few punches when she’s asked for a critical opinion, and let’s face it, an executive often has to smile and say “yes” when she means “no,” and frown and say “no” when she means “yes.” It’s all part of the game. But a Virgo calls a turnip a turnip, and she’s bewildered when people turn on her because she didn’t pretend it was a tulip.

  Consequently, the Virgo in a high-powered position sometimes resorts to deception in self-defense, and since deception is emphatically not one of her innate talents, she ends up being accused of being downright sly and hypocritical. What a pity, when Virgo hates hypocrisy so much. But that’s the price the Virginian pays for sitting in a chair she wasn’t meant to occupy. The endless, chatty luncheons with clients who have to be wined and dined and catered to would drive the average Virgo into a hermit’s cave after a few months, and a few years of it might actually give her a serious mental breakdown.

  Any Virgo who searches her own soul eventually comes up with the knowledge that she’s better off doing the actual work of running the machinery inside the organization and letting someone else pose for the pictures. If she’s truly dedicated to her work (is there a Virgo who isn’t?), she secretly scorns the social and political extra-curricular activities the head of a firm is forced to engage in, because it causes her to neglect her duties—and be assured that neglect of duty is not something a Virgo takes lightly.

  Still, if the business is a small one with, say, under a dozen employees, a Virgo may do very well as the queen of the empire. She certainly won’t let it hit any unforeseen snags because she’ll have every potential danger charted in detail, upside down and backwards. But big business and the typical Virgi
nian simply don’t blend, always allowing for the occasional exception to the rule. A Virgo with a Cancer ascendant and a Capricorn Moon, for example, would be a horse of a different gait. Such a Virgo at the head of a large company can be a real winner, just as the average Virgo at the head of a small company is usually successful. They also excel in leading scientific, experimental groups, where painstaking research is the keynote.

  This boss will not overlook the sloppy mistakes of an assistant who constantly misspells words, wears ink blots on his thumbs and forgets to water her geraniums. You’ll have to be alert and on your toes if you want a promotion from Virgo. Never tell her the appointment is for three o’clock when it’s really for two-forty-five, or you’ll face a cranky, irritable boss who won’t hesitate to point out your fumble with hairsplitting frankness. As for reminding her in self-defense that she, herself, mislaid the papers she needed for the same meeting, forget it. Instead of causing her to be more tolerant of your errors in relation to her own exceedingly rare goofs, she’s far more likely to glare at you with extreme annoyance. Try it more than once and you may end up without a job. A little criticism goes a long way with your Virgo boss. On her side, that is. As far as you’re concerned, resign yourself to plenty of it. There’s just one way out and one way only. Don’t make mistakes. It’s really quite simple.

  Once you’ve adjusted to her perfectionist attitude, you’ll find your eagle-eyed Virgo boss is kind-hearted and fair. She won’t want to hear the details of your latest romance, since sentiment bores the typical Virgo, but she’ll listen with sympathy to your request for a leave of absence because your left small toenail needs attention. Sick leave will be understood. Office flirtations and careless habits will not. Keep your desk tidy, don’t flash around the office in miniskirts and heavy make-up, never brush your hair over her papers and listen carefully to all instructions. If she approves of your grooming, your work habits and your brain, she can be a surprisingly generous and kindly, considerate person to work for. She has his little idiosyncrasies, but don’t we all?