Then Sings My Soul (The Langston Family Saga Book 2)

by LaShonda Bowman

Although he thought he was being coy, Tamia already knew who Xavier was talking about. And while the man in question was a great guy, Tamia decided long ago that relationships weren’t for her. Why invest your heart and soul in something that won’t last?

  She loved her nephew and the way he lived life with a heart full of hope, but their childhoods had been as different as night and day. While he grew up always believing for the best, she grew up always finding the worst. How could she explain that to him so he’d get where she was coming from?

  "It's like this. I think only certain people find true love. True love being, someone that will love you through it all. The good stuff. The bad stuff. The boring, regular ol’ in-between stuff. Pam and Reiland found it. And though they were just kids, I think your parents had it. But it doesn't happen for everyone.”

  "That doesn't mean it can't happen for you."

  "Look around, Xavier. Ninety-five percent of people out there just settled for the best they thought they could get. It may start out fine, but eventually they end up resenting each other and getting divorced. Or they just stay married and miserable. I don't need to be with someone to be unhappy. I can do that on my own."

  Xavier remained silent, staring out at the cars that passed on the freeway. She hated to burst his bubble. But if being blunt with him was the only way to stop the relationship questions, she had no choice.

  "So…are you telling me I can't set you up?"

  Tamia moaned. "You must be the most single-minded individual I've ever met outside of your mother."

  “Is that a yes or a no?”

  Tamia shook her head, beside herself. "The minute we get to Kristina's, I'm kicking you out of my car."

  Kristina smiled as she cleaned up the excess flour and bits of dough from the granite countertop. The aroma of the buttery, sweet peach cobbler baking in the oven, filled her with a greater sense of satisfaction than making a pie probably should. It’d been years since she’d baked anything and she’d forgotten how much joy it gave her.

  For all the hurt and pain their mother caused them, the one thing Mahalia did give her daughters was some mad cooking skills. And each of them had a specialty. Pam was the soul food expert. Greens, sweet potatoes, fried chicken, melt-in-your-mouth brisket—she could do it all. Tamia, on the other hand, was the family's Casserole Queen. It didn't matter what the ingredients were or whether they made sense, give them to Tamia and she could whip up a casserole that would make your mouth water.

  Kristina’s domain was desserts. Cakes, trifles, cookies—you name it, she could make it. But pies were her specialty. Cobblers, in particular.

  The three of them used to cook all the time. Especially after Pam turned eighteen and Kristina, seventeen. That was when they left Mahalia’s house, taking Tamia with them.

  There was a big fight, of course. Their mother tried to threaten them like she usually did. But at that point, Pam was no longer afraid. She knew she was over age and could go to the police without fear of being put into foster care, or worse, returned to her mother. But there was no way she was leaving her sisters to fend for themselves.

  Mahalia told Pam she had no right to take them and threatened to call the police and report the girls kidnapped. But Pam countered with a threat of her own.

  Pictures.

  Dozens of them.

  After their mother had beat Kristina into giving birth too soon, Pam and Kristina began making an escape plan. They knew the only way they’d be able to leave was to have leverage. So that's what they got. With the Polaroid camera Pam kept hidden under her bed, she documented every bruise, scratch and laceration. Their careful planning paid off and the day they walked out of her house became their very own Independence Day.

  But the joy was short lived. Being on their own was even harder than they’d anticipated. For a long time, all they could afford for food were bags of uncooked rice. They would have it with sugar and a splash of milk in the morning and salt, pepper and a pat of butter at night. Some days, they didn’t eat at all. But none of them ever regretted leaving. Going to bed hungry was better than going to bed afraid, any day.

  And later, once they had steady money coming in, they were able to flex their culinary muscles. They were always learning new recipes and trying to outdo one another whenever it was their turn to make dinner.

  But once Kristina’s career took off, all that changed. She knew she had an opportunity most people would kill for, so she spent every second working for it. Her sisters joined her, first as background singers. Then later, Pam became her manager.

  If they weren’t on a tour bus, they were in a hotel room. Even after Kristina bought the sprawling eight bedroom mansion in Atlanta's Tuxedo Park, she was rarely there. And when she was there, during breaks or the holiday season, she was usually high and hold up in her bedroom.

  But since she’d gotten her life back together and come out of rehab, she'd rediscovered things she didn't even realize she missed. Reading her Bible, listening to gospel music and now, baking.

  Kristina used the side of one hand to wipe the last of the excess flour on the counter off the edge and into the palm of her other hand. She stepped on the lever to open the trash can lid and swiped her hands together to remove the flour.

  "I knew I smelled peach cobbler!"

  Pam came through the archway from the back of the house where her office was located and headed straight to the oven. She opened the door and bent over, taking in a deep breath.

  "Girl, you still got it. That smells amazing."

  Kristina broke out into a grin. "Don't compliment me yet. We still need to taste it."

  Pam opened the drawer opposite the kitchen island and pulled out a serving spoon. “Don't worry. The second it cools, I'll make sure it's safe for general consumption."

  Kristina laughed and wiped her hands with a kitchen towel. "I bet you will."

  "We're home!"

  Tamia and Xavier came into the kitchen, luggage in tow.

  "Xavier!"

  Kristina opened her arms wide and waved her fingers for him to come to her. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight.

  "Are you reading those devotionals every day?"

  Pam laughed. "He's been in here, what? Two minutes?"

  Kristina pulled away from him so she could see his face. "Yes, Pastor Xavier. Between you, Robin and Jesus, I may end up a good Christian woman yet!"

  Tamia walked around the kitchen island and, like Pam, opened the oven door to look inside.

  "Kristina René Langston! Is this your cobbler?”

  "Yes, ma'am."

  Tamia clapped her hands. “Oooh, Xavier! You are in for a treat! Nobody, and I mean nobody, out-bakes my sister. She can put a hurting on a cobbler."

  "Like I already told Pam, this is the first one I've made in a long time. So don't get your hopes up." She grabbed Xavier's hand. "Now, come on. Let me take you to your room. Are these all your bags?"

  "Yep. This is everything. But I didn’t know how I was supposed to dress for the dinner. If I need something more formal, I’ll have to go to a store. What are you wearing?"

  Tamia grimaced at Xavier and shook her head. She called herself being discreet, but Pam picked up on it.

  "What dinner?"

  Kristina and Tamia exchanged looks.

  Pam put her hand on her hip. "What dinner?"

  "Okay, Pam, before you get all wound up, it’s one dinner." Tamia put up her finger to emphasize her point. "One. Dinner."

  Pam swung around to face Kristina. "Dinner? With Omar?"

  Kristina put her hands up. "Pam—“

  "I thought we talked about this? Does anybody ever listen to anything I say? Seriously!"

  "After all she's been through, she deserves this. Why are you making it so hard? You keep seeming to forget, Omar was a good part of her life. Probably the best part."

  "Yes, Tamia. Eighteen years ago. And it wasn't all hearts and roses, either. It was traumatic." Pam moti
oned toward Xavier. "Thank God, it wasn't as bad as we thought. But that doesn't mean it wasn't hard on her. I don't expect you to understand this, because you've never had an addiction problem, but sobriety is fragile. Especially this early on. She's already got too much to deal with.”

  As her sisters argued, Kristina looked at Xavier. He offered her a weak smile and squeezed her hand.

  "If you two would stop talking about me like I'm not here, I'd like to ask Xavier a question."

  Tamia and Pam became silent. All eyes were on Kristina. She, however, was focused on Xavier.

  "I've heard what Tamia has to say. And I've heard what Pam has to say. I know what I think about the whole thing, but what I want to know right now is what you think."

  Xavier took a deep breath and stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. "I never even thought I'd meet my parents. I mean, I always wondered where I came from, but after being anonymously abandoned on a doorstep, I figured there was no way to know." He paused and looked down as he blinked back tears.

  "I'm so grateful. I already have more than I ever thought I would. First, finding you three. And now, I know who my biological father is and he wants me in his life. I’m blessed. Beyond blessed and I know it. That said," he looked at Pam apologetically. "I'd give anything to be in a room with both my biological parents at the same time. Just once. Even if only for a couple of hours. It would be a dream come true."

  He looked back at Kristina. "I'm only telling you this because you asked. But the truth is, I can wait. I've waited this long just to meet the two of you. So if this will, in any way, jeopardize your sobriety, please understand, you don't have to do it.”

  Kristina's heart was full to bursting with love for him. Though anyone else would look at him and see a grown man, she couldn't help but think of him as her baby. And that he was willing to put off having something he wanted more than anything, just for her, overwhelmed her with warmth and affection.

  She knew Pam was worried about getting into a relationship with Omar, but this dinner was about more than that. There was so much she had never been able to give Xavier. Not a kiss, not a hug, not even a bottle when he was a baby. She thought she'd missed all her chances, but here was one thing that he really needed. And she was the only person that could give it to him.

  "Pam…"

  Pam nodded. "I know. I know."

  "I'm not asking permission. I'm just asking you not to give me a hard time about it."

  Pam sighed. "Girl, I could tell you’d made up your mind halfway through his first sentence." She put up her hands. "I promise. I'll stop giving you a hard time. But please, if any of this becomes too much for you, emotionally—“

  "I know. I'll come to you. I'll make sure I get help." She held her sister by her arms and kissed her cheek. Then she nudged Xavier.

  "Now, follow me, kiddo. Your room is upstairs."

  Chapter 12

  Although she’d felt confident about her decision when she made it, by the next day Kristina was a bundle of nerves. And the upcoming dinner wasn’t the only reason.

  Production Assistant Amy was even more sticky than usual. Kristina couldn't take a step or look at her phone without turning to find the girl inches away from her. It reminded Kristina of a documentary she’d seen about sharks and how they reacted when they smelled blood in the water.

  Did Amy somehow know about Xavier? He’d only come to town the day before, but it might explain the girl’s behavior. Kristina didn’t even want to imagine what life would be like for Xavier if the true nature of their relationship was leaked to the press. But as worrisome as that thought was, it wasn’t the only thing that had Kristina’s nerves frayed.

  As much as Amy tried to mirror Kristina's every step, the girl had a shadow of her own. A scruffy looking man with a camera.

  Kristina didn't recognize him as part of the regular camera crew, but he did look familiar. After wracking her brain for about an hour, she realized when and where she’d seen him before. It was the day Omar came to see her during rehearsals.

  And once she became aware of the camera guy, she couldn’t help but notice he kept watching her. To say that the strange man made her uncomfortable was an understatement.

  The moment there was a break in the rehearsals, Kristina made a beeline for Pam. "Who's that guy?" She said, nodding in the man's direction. "What's he doing here?"

  Pam, finalizing a checklist with the road manager, lowered her chin to look over her glasses. “Who?"

  Kristina pointed, not caring whether he knew they were talking about him. He saw her giving him her attention and immediately turned away, heading to the other side of the stage.

  "Oh,” Amy said, suddenly right behind them. “He’s the set photographer."

  Pam cut her eyes and turned to the girl. “I know you’ve got something better to do than listen in on a private conversation.”

  “I, uh—“

  “Go.”

  Amy blinked a few times before scurrying off. Once she was out of earshot, Kristina continued.

  ”If he's with the crew, where has he been this whole time?"

  Pam shrugged. "I don't know. Why?"

  "He creeps me out. I feel like he's watching me more than anything else."

  Pam took off her glasses and looked in the direction the man had disappeared. "Do you want me to get rid of him?"

  Kristina nodded. "Please."

  "Okay. I'll take care of it. You sure it isn't just nerves about something else?" Pam raised her eyebrows.

  "I already told you. There's nothing to be nervous about. It's just a dinner. I'm doing it for Xavier more than anything else."

  "Sure you are." Pam slipped her glasses back on, a smile pulling at her lips. “Don't worry about the creeper. I'll have him gone by the end of the day."

  Kristina stood in the middle of her walk-in closet, frozen. It was one of the largest rooms in the house and had enough couture to stock a block of 5th Avenue boutiques.

  Normally, she loved being there, but at the moment, it made her feel like the world's biggest cliché. She was surrounded by fashion’s finest designers and all she could think was: I have nothing to wear.

  She’d told the truth when she spoke to Pam earlier. This dinner really was for Xavier. At the same time, the thought of seeing Omar again made her heart flutter in her chest.

  Get a grip. This is not a date.

  “I’ve seen houses smaller than this closet.”

  Kristina turned to find Xavier standing behind her and staring at his surroundings, his mouth hanging open. If it weren’t for the goofy look on his face, she would have called him red carpet ready. He was in a smoke gray vintage style suit, sporting a black satin skinny tie. His hair was freshly cut and he looked like he’d just stepped out of a photo spread inspired by the old-school style of Motown.

  "Look at you!"

  He smiled and tugged at his jacket lapels before taking a spin. "I've never been to a fancy restaurant. I hope this is okay."

  She walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders, running them down his jacket sleeves. "You look perfect. Now if only I could come close." She turned back around, surveying her closet. "And I know, I said it a million times. It's not a date. But still, I want to look… I don't know. Pretty."

  “That’s why you’re looking so worried? I can solve that dilemma.”

  He pulled a tan dress off the rack and offered it to her. "You could wear this. Or…” he said, choosing a black cocktail dress. “This.” He pointed to a magenta shift dress. “Or that.” He shrugged. “Anything, really. Because if being pretty is what you're going for, it’s basically impossible for you to be anything else. You wake up beautiful.”

  Kristina tilted her head to the side. "That's so sweet."

  "It's true. And that's why I'm keeping an eye on this Omar fella. Baby daddy or not, he's gonna have to pass my test before he can get to you."

  Kristina laughed. "He really is a good man." She felt heat rise to her cheeks and put her hands up
to cover them.

  Xavier lowered his head to get a better look at her downturned face. "Are you blushing?" His voice was playful and teasing as he reached out, grabbed her by the shoulders and gently shook her.

  Kristina groaned. “I’m so embarrassed." She laughed again. "For years I told myself it was just puppy love and that I needed to move on. But then I saw him again.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “He came to the rehearsal studio and it was like… It was a feeling I’ve never had with anyone else."

  She dropped down in one of the upholstered chairs set up by the mirrors along one wall. Xavier followed and joined her.

  "Can I ask you something?"

  She nodded.

  "Is it just your sobriety that's holding you back?"

  She narrowed her eyes at him. More than once he’d proven to be insightful beyond his years. It was hard to hide anything from him, so she decided not to try.

  "It's a lot of things. But I guess the main one is…” Kristina’s voice faded and she bit her bottom lip. What she felt was hard to admit, especially to Xavier. “I know I'm not good enough for him."

  Xavier leaned back and made a face. "Not good enough? Are you serious? You’re good enough for anybody. And if anyone ever tells you any different, I'll sock ‘em in the mouth."

  Kristina's eyes widened. "Sounds like you need to be reading those devotionals as much as I do!"

  “I’m serious.” Xavier leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Look, I'm not just saying this because I'm your son or because you're beautiful or talented or one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. Even if you weren't any of those things, you're still a daughter of the King. That makes you a princess. It's not a question of whether you’re good enough for somebody. The question is, is he good enough for you?"

  Omar stared at the red light, willing it to turn green. He took yet another glance at the dashboard clock. He’d been looking forward to the reunion for so long, the idea he might be late put him on edge. But then again, it had been that kind of day.

  From the moment he arrived at work that morning, it was one thing after another. First, the walk-through for the Centre Street property was pushed back. Then, he ended up being on the phone for over an hour and a half with the city zoning committee, trying to get them to push through on a project that they previously approved but were now disapproving.