"Very good! Your development has been considerable since we last spoke. You did not telegraph your intentions to my mind, and you were able to fluidly transport both of us. I'm impressed. Your will is strong." Raphael knew the complement fell empty on Vin’s ears. He already knew where this conversation was going to begin and end. With his own sigh, Raphael commenced the discussion that would induct Vin into the ranks of those already engaged in the struggle. It would start Vin on a path where his own decisions, made possible by the gift of free will, would play a key role in the final outcome.
"That’s not what you want to discuss right now, is it? Very well, ask your questions, and I’ll answer as best as I can. I will try to help you understand."
"Understand! What is there to understand?" Vin’s growing anger and frustration became apparent in the volume of his voice and the rising winds as he began to pace agitatedly back and forth as he continued.
"I have verified for myself that it is possible for those who exist on this side of the barrier to communicate, clearly, without doubt or misconception, across the barrier. All this time, you could have given people comfort, reassurance, and indisputable proof, but you haven’t. Why? How many lives have been devastated after the death of loved ones, when they might not have been if only they knew? Why couldn’t they hear from anyone on this side while they awaited their own time?"
Vin sat down heavily, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. His boiling emotions subsided as the brief rush of adrenaline dispersed in concurrence with the fading of the wind. Silence engulfed the hillside for several minutes. Vin glanced up at Raphael who was standing in front of him and looking down with arms clasped gently behind his back. Vin was somewhat shocked to see tears in his teacher’s empathetic eyes.
"The suffering of mankind takes its toll in many ways, but it has never gone unnoticed."
Raphael’s ageless soul had witnessed this many times, and each new episode touched him as deeply as the last. In this, Vin was no exception. Raphael knew well the great pain and turmoil with which Vin struggled.
"The knowledge you have acquired is only a fraction of the whole. It will prove to be a considerable burden if you permit it. But, if you combine this knowledge with what you already have, it could provide you with much greater insight."
"I don’t understand. Are you telling me that my conclusions are wrong again?"
"I am merely pointing out that you do not have all the facts and, therefore, are incapable of making a completely accurate determination. But, I’m also saying that you feel exhausted right now because you used your knowledge as a means to accomplish an end, yet you forgot its limitations."
The perplexed look on Vin’s face assured Raphael that Vin was trying to absorb his explanations, although he was not having immediate success. That was not his main concern, however. Raphael knew that Vin was troubled by a stronger, more personal reason for trying to extrapolate these answers.
"Eyvindr, Brother, do not try to resolve the worries of all mankind. That is a divine task far beyond your reach. Focus on something easier. Ask me that which troubles your heart at this moment?"
Vin considered before answering.
"Why does she have to suffer? How is it unkind to let her know the truth?" The question brought tears to Vin's eyes, and he sobbed openly for several minutes. Just asking the question helped relieve some of the vast sorrow that he had been holding within himself. When he managed to reign in his emotions, or perhaps they were just temporarily spent, Vin looked up at Raphael again.
The expression on Raphael's face triggered an important connection in Vin's mind. In the next instant, like a bomb exploding, he realized what Raphael was trying to tell him.
"Caeli’s still in danger, isn’t she?! The accident and my subsequent crossing took me out of commission, but it didn't sever our bond. Because of our link, I could still find a way, through her, to thwart their plans. Because of her connection to me, she still poses a threat to those who wanted me dead. That's what you meant by my presence causing her distress, isn’t it?" Vin asked for confirmation, but did not wait for a response. It was perfectly clear to him now.
"I have to go to her. I have to warn her!"
Instinctively, Vin felt that this was not quite how he was expected to handle the situation. Though Raphael was certainly capable of preventing him from returning to Caeli, Vin sensed that he would not be hindered. The choices were Vin's to make, and his new associate could only try to help him choose wisely. He looked up once more, intending to offer additional justification for his decision, but Raphael was gone. Vin didn’t waste any more time worrying and found his way, much easier this time, across the barrier and back to Caeli.
CHAPTER 11
Caeli sat alone in a chair off to one side of the front pew, listening to the priest ramble on about death, resurrection, and the joys of heaven and happy memories. She found it increasingly difficult to pay attention. The words seemed like empty platitudes. They struck no chords with her. Her mind wandered through a dozen different topics, none of which had anything to do with the sadness surrounding her. She could not bear to dwell on it and was forced to distract herself or face the risk of being overwhelmed by her grief.
The service finally ended, and Caeli politely declined several invitations to dinner, kind offers of assistance, and other pleasantries from friends. The last thing she wanted was to be inundated by on-going condolences, heavy casserole dishes, and talk of what a great guy Vin had been. Caeli needed to be alone with her thoughts, insane as they might be at the moment. These people were not providing her the comfort they intended and that she so desperately sought. Caeli even found some of them to be a bit pushy and annoying. She missed Vin so very much. He would have agreed with her, reminded her of his peculiar viewpoints regarding people in general, and then added a joke to make her laugh and forget whatever was bothering her.
Thankfully, Caeli's best friend, Dr. Salma Yamanu, noticed her futile attempts to break away from the throng and managed to intervene. Salma graciously performed crowd control for her. She nodded to Caeli from across the hall at an opportune moment, without a word needing to be said between them. Caeli saw a gap in the line of visitors and managed to pull herself away. She got into her car and drove. Caeli did not know where she was headed. It really didn’t matter. She just needed to get away.
She was driving her own car. Vin’s had been towed to the impound lot, and she had not gone to retrieve it. The police captain brought her the few salvageable items of value from their ill-fated outing, including the camera and binoculars. He assured her that there were no other personal items in the car. The damage to the vehicle was so extensive that the insurance company wrote it off as totaled, and Caeli could think of nothing more that she wanted from it. Aside from his music and an emergency roadside kit, Vin generally did not keep personal or valuable items in his car. It was a means of getting him where he needed to go. Of course, Vin had a project car in the garage, but that was a hobby, not suited to the regular commute.
Caeli doubted that she would go back for the car. Yet, she felt an odd hesitation about letting go of the mangled automobile. It nagged at her. Eventually, she would have to make a decision either to let it go, and ignore that little voice in her head, or she would have to make a trip to the impound lot and rummage through the wrecked metal to resolve the unsettled feeling. That could wait until another day. There was no rush. The car wasn't going anywhere without a tow truck anyway.
She turned left at the intersection of Holly and Mulberry boulevards and continued two miles more to reach the edge of town. She made a right turn leading away from the populated areas. Before long, Caeli found herself outside of town, headed toward the forest. She drove with a purpose now. It was the same one she felt every day for the last three days. She needed to find Vin. Caeli had searched endlessly with the rescue teams until they finally called off the search efforts. Caeli continued to search even after the last volunteers left. She could not stop.
&
nbsp; The only reason that Caeli did not go straight to the crash site today was because of Vin's memorial. Holding the service this soon felt wrong to Caeli, but Salma convinced her that it was the right thing to do. Despite her objections, Caeli agreed to the service. She would not have been able to avoid it much longer. Now that it was over, Caeli felt a fierce need to revisit the scene of the crash. Maybe she could find some new information this time; perhaps even answers. Her greatest hope, naturally, was that she would find Vin.
Caeli fought the sudden onrush of tears that threatened once again. Vin's death had her crying more in the last few days than she had in her entire life. In general, Caeli did not cry. It was not the sort of emotional display to which she was prone, unlike many women who seemed to tear up at weddings or sad movies. On the rare occasions when she did succumb to her sadness, Caeli's tears flowed like rain. Each tear felt like it carried away a small piece of her soul. It took a great deal out of her, physically and emotionally. Thankfully, this was the only such sadness Caeli felt since her grandmother died. From then until now, she had been blissfully happy with Vin.
A slight change in the air brought a whisper to Caeli's ear as Vin finally succeeded in getting through to her emotionally tangled mind. He correctly guessed her destination and tried to stop her. Vin did not know if there would be an immediate threat in those woods. But, he could not take the chance that his intelligent and well planned adversary might have taken the precaution of keeping an eye on that area on the off chance Caeli might decide to return there alone. She was about to do just that.
"Caeli, will you stop the car please?"
Caeli did not want to stop. Why would she even be considering the words of her delusion? More tricks of her clouded mind. Sooner or later, she was definitely going to have to catch up on her sleep, by medication if necessary; and then try to focus more firmly on reality, but not yet. Right now, Caeli was surprised with the clarity of her purpose. She had only one goal in mind at the moment, and she was rapidly moving toward it.
"Caeli, please stop."
"I need to do this. I have to go back there. I don’t want to stop." Her tears were flowing freely now.
"Caeli, stop! You must stop." It was harsher than Vin intended, but it got through to her.
"No, Vin, please don't ask me to do that," she whispered between sobs. Her voice was barely more than a breath.
"I am not out there. You will not find me in the woods, Caeli. You know it's true. Please stop the car."
"How can I believe you are anything more than a creation of my grief and sleep-deprived mind?" Caeli asked of the voice in her head.
"Honey, I'm asking you to trust me as you always have. Real or imagined, I’m trying to help you. If you can’t believe anything else, believe that much. Please, Caeli. I know you are confused, but you should not go out there alone. Please, stop the car. Do it for me. Stop and I will prove that you are not hallucinating." Vin pulled out all the stops. He called on her trust, on her love for him, and on her desire to know what happened. He didn't feel the least bit guilty for using her feelings to get her to stop. He needed her to stop. Caeli's safety was Vin's main concern.
Caeli suddenly and repeatedly pounded her fist against the steering wheel. She vented her frustration and then found a place where there was enough of a gravel shoulder for her to pull the car to the side of the road. She brought the car to a stop and turned off the engine.
"Vin, what’s going on? Am I really hearing you or is my soul grieving beyond reasonable explanation?" Caeli inquired of the voice that sounded so much like her lost love. How could Vin sound so real and just be a figment of her imagination?
"I am real. Caeli, I cannot answer all of your questions right now. It is still very difficult for me to reach you while your mind is in such turmoil. Go home. Rest. Give your emotions time to settle. I will be here when you’re ready."
"How can you ask that of me? If this is real, and you are real, then how could I possibly go home and casually pretend that I do not have a thousand unanswered questions. You know me better than that. I need those answers. You can’t just give me hints and mysteries and expect me to accept them blindly. Besides, you promised me proof. Please, prove to me that I’m not losing my mind," Caeli insisted.
She laid her forehead against the steering wheel and tried to calm her anxiety. When Vin did not respond immediately, Caeli shamefully realized how angry and rude she sounded. Real or imagined, Vin deserved far better than that from her.
"I’m sorry, Vin. You do know me quite well; better sometimes than I know myself. I've always trusted you, and you've never once let me down. I still trust you, even if you do turn out to be nothing more than my new, imaginary friend. You always did know how to get inside my head." She almost smiled, and the thickness in the air around her seemed to diminish slightly.
Caeli felt a gentle breeze run across the top of her head, down the length of her long, brown hair and wrap around her shoulders. It was as good as any hug ever received from her beloved. It helped ease her tension. Caeli wished the airy embrace would never end, but it did. After a few minutes, she was no longer certain if Vin was still nearby. She hoped he would offer more explanations, but nothing seemed to be forthcoming.
"Ok, Vin. If you can hear me, I will go home. I will try to get some rest and clear my head. But, I’m holding you to your word. I need to know if I’m losing my sanity; but most of all, I need to understand what happened. I will wait patiently until you can help me get those answers."
"I love you, Caeli."
Vin was content that he finally reached through the thick wall of her grief and touched her heart. By way of comparison, convincing her to change course had been comparatively easy.
"I love you too, Vin." Tears streamed down her cheeks yet again. A longing for more than just her lost husband arose within her. Her soul ached for its eternal companion. Strangely, Caeli felt an odd comfort from the brief conversation with Vin. She wiped the tears from her eyes, started the car, and turned toward home.
As Vin watched Caeli reluctantly comply with his request, he distanced himself from her, so that she could pay attention to the road and process her thoughts about the encounter. He knew her well enough to understand that she needed a little time. It was not in her nature to immediately accept such outlandish notions. If she did believe him, Caeli would most certainly have questions. She would insist on answers.
Caeli could be a worthy advocate when it was necessary to filter out the garbage from the facts and shine the light of common sense and honesty on a situation. It was that same unyielding tenacity which could make her incredibly stubborn, at times, too. This strength of character and independent spirit was a mere fraction of all that Vin admired about her.
Forty minutes later, Caeli was driving up the winding, tree-lined quarter mile of pavement that was her driveway. She discovered that, as she got closer to the house, her sleepiness increased considerably. All she wanted to do was go inside, put on a soft pair of pajamas, and crawl into bed. She pulled the car into the garage and climbed the three steps to the door leading into the hall that led passed the kitchen.
Caeli entered quickly and locked the door behind her. Without even a cursory glance at the voicemail indicator or the phone, she tossed her purse and keys onto the counter and continued up the stairs to her bedroom. She walked straight through the door, moving slightly to the left to avoid the bed centered on the opposite wall of the large room. Then she cracked open the window to let in a bit of fresh air.
Caeli sat down in an overstuffed recliner in the corner close to the window, intending to rest her eyes for just a moment before changing her clothes and brewing a cup of her favorite hot cocoa. However, with only the soft breeze playing in the air around her, she was sound asleep within seconds of settling into Vin’s favorite, blue reading chair.
Vin used his new navigational talent to follow Caeli home and keep unobserved vigil over her while she slept through lunch and early afternoon. He was ple
asantly content to sit across the room and think of other matters while she rested. Vin found that he much preferred this familiar setting to the hillside he had been frequenting before he realized that this possibility was available to him. Several more hours slipped by and evening set in as they both shared in the comfort of their renewed awareness of one another.
CHAPTER 12
A noise downstairs caught Vin's attention. He listened more intently and determined it was coming from the back door. It sounded as if someone were trying to force it open by tearing it from its hinges. Vin gave a quick glance over to Caeli, who did not hear the noise yet, and then made his way to the back door to investigate.
He discovered two men outside the door. One of them was chopping away at the wood surrounding the deadbolt with a pry bar of some sort. They were attempting to break in. What should he do? How could he stop them? Vin considered it for a moment and quickly made up his mind.
Up until now, Vin had only made his presence known to and felt by Caeli. He had not tried to affect other objects, but that was exactly what he intended now. He focused on the pry bar the burly man was clenching in his gloved hands, and tried to pull it out of his grip. Nothing happened.
"Crap!" he vented, but did not give up. Vin tried again, still nothing. On the third attempt, just when he was about to admit defeat, and just as the door gave way with a loud crash, the long metal bar responded to his pull and went flying across the back yard to land nearly thirty feet away.
"Damn!" Vin exclaimed in frustration. His success was not soon enough, and the men were already in the house and roaming around. He followed them, keeping an eye on their progress, trying to decide what his next move should be. Vin was also trying to discern what the intruders' intentions were. Were they merely bottom feeding thieves or were their motives more sinister? Had they picked his house at random or had they cased the place beforehand? They did not appear to be looting. Vin got the distinct impression that they had a specific task in mind. It only took another moment for him to realize exactly what it was.
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