Run from Fear

by Jami Alden

  “I’m sorry,” he said. It had no more effect now than the first time he’d said it, but there was nothing else to say. She scrubbed angrily at her face and narrowed her gaze. “Before, back at the restaurant, Susie said the damage was going to cost more than a fifty-thousand-dollar investment, and you said, ‘I know.’ What was going on there?”

  Jack chose his words carefully, not wanting to lie outright. He was already in the hole. He didn’t want to dig any deeper. “It was obvious the water damage is going to cost a lot more than that to repair.”

  Talia shook her head. “And the expansion plans? How do you know about that?”

  When he hesitated, she came up and slammed her palm against his chest. “Tell me the truth!”

  Resignation formed a hard knot in his stomach, and along with it a sharp stab of grief. He was losing her. The last few days had been paradise, offering the first glimmers of hope for a real future together. Now she was slipping away like water through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

  That it was his own damn fault only made the pain that much keener.

  “When you first moved here and were looking for a job, Alyssa connected me with Susie. I agreed to make an investment in Suzette’s if she would agree to hire you and keep you on for at least a year.”

  Talia’s knees went weak at Jack’s admission. The closest place to sit was the bed, but she couldn’t bear to touch it. The bed where Jack had shown her more pleasure in the last four days than she’d known in her lifetime. Where she’d finally felt like the scars of the past had healed enough to let her look forward to a future that was big and bright and full of Jack. The man she’d fallen in love with.

  The man who’d been lying to her all along.

  She stumbled over to the chair in the corner, slapping Jack’s hand away when he reached out to steady her. “I don’t need your help,” she snarled. She sank down and buried her face in her hands. “You had to pay her to hire me. God, you must think I’m so useless,” she half laughed, half sobbed.

  “I wanted to help you and Rosie get on your feet. I knew you’d never take money from me, so I wanted to make sure you had an income. And Rosie’s school is expensive—” He broke off midsentence.

  Another lightbulb flared to life in her brain. “Please don’t tell me the scholarship is fake.”

  Jack shifted on his feet, and the sinking sensation in Talia’s stomach became so acute she was afraid she was going to fall through the floor. “It’s not fake,” Jack said. “But the Spectra Foundation that sponsors it was started by me five years ago. And the scholarship was established last fall. So far Rosie is the only recipient.”

  Talia’s head swam. The scholarship was worth twenty thousand a year and covered over half of Rosie’s tuition as long as she kept her GPA above 3.0. She knew he was well paid working for Gemini Securities, but how could he possibly afford that, plus the fifty thousand on top? She shook her head to clear it. “You have a foundation?”

  Jack nodded. “I use it to fund projects and shelters that help women and children who are being abused.”

  “Your broken birds,” Talia breathed. “I’m just another one of your broken birds.”

  That was how he really saw her. A poor, pathetic creature too weak to pick up the pieces of her life. Deserving of his charity. His pity. He said he’d admired her strength but all along he hadn’t believed she could change, that she could be strong.

  She could barely breathe through the sharp ache stabbing her chest.

  She could see the muscles of his jaw working, and there was an uncharacteristic pleading look in his eyes. “You are so much more than that to me. You have to know that. I—”

  “How much?” Talia interrupted. At his puzzled look, she clarified, “Exactly how much are you worth?”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Oh, come on,” Talia said, rising from the chair as she felt a little devil come to life inside of her. “If I’m going to be kept by another rich man, I should know exactly how much I’m working with.”

  His nostrils flared in anger and his mouth flattened in a tight line. “Roughly a hundred million, give or take a few million in either direction depending on what the market is doing.”

  Talia pasted on a seductive smile and sauntered over to him. He was still as a statue as she ran a finger down his granite-hard chest. “Wow, that much,” she said, and there was nothing fake about the amazement in her voice. “That’s more than David ever had.” She flashed him a saucy look from under her lashes even as her stomach churned at the thought. “Looks like I’ve managed to trade up.”

  God, she was ridiculous. Susie’s face flashed in her mind, and she cringed, thinking about how she’d actually thought Susie was her friend. All the confidences and conversations they’d shared, and all the while her “friend” had essentially been paid to endure Talia’s presence in her life.

  All this time priding herself on pulling herself up by her bootstraps and making a new life for herself, only to find out she was at the mercy of yet another wealthy man pulling the strings on her life.

  A little voice tried to remind her that Jack was nothing like David, that he would never use his money to hurt her. But the betrayal was too fresh, too raw, for her to pay the voice any heed.

  “Don’t,” Jack said, catching her hand in a tight grip. “It’s not like that and you know it. I never thought of you that way. You need money, I have it, and I want to spend it to help you.”

  She batted her eyelids and licked her lips, the mock siren. “But of course you have to want something in return.” She reached out with her free hand and cupped the bulge between his legs. Angry or not, he rose up immediately against her hand, thick and hard and ready for whatever kind of repayment plan she offered. “Ah, there you go.” She rubbed up and down the length of his shaft.

  Hot color flushed his cheeks. From arousal or embarrassment at his immediate, involuntary response, she didn’t know, and she didn’t care. She couldn’t see past her own anger, the seething hurt and all the old ugly things she thought she’d gotten past rising back up in a rotten tangle. Making her want to lash out, to hurt him, to show him that no matter what he said or did, he was no better than any other man. No better than the dirtbags who had made her feel cheap and used and broken.

  “That’s an awful lot of money you’ve spent on us already. It’s going to take me a while to work it off.”

  “Stop it,” he said tightly, grabbing at her hand as it gave his dick another firm squeeze. “I know you’re angry—”

  Talia ignored him and pulled her hands from his. Before he could stop her, she sank to her knees and reached for the button on his pants. “Maybe a little blow job to start. I’m out of practice but that has to be worth at least a hundred bucks, right? Maybe later I’ll let you do something really special—”

  “Stop it!” Jack roared, grabbing her by the shoulders and lifting her to her feet. He gave her a little shake. “Don’t do this. Don’t do this to us.”

  The devastation on his face sent the devil running, leaving nothing but a bleak emptiness inside her.

  “Please don’t do this to us,” Jack said, the pleading in his eyes almost enough to make her crumble. She’d never seen him like this, never known it was possible to make him look like this. Never imagined she would be the one to bring him here.

  “Please, Talia, everything I’ve done, it’s because I wanted you to be happy. I just wanted to take care of you—”

  Anger flared back to life and she shoved his hands off her shoulders. “I don’t want to be taken care of! Why can’t you understand that? I had that before and look where it got me!”

  “I’m not like David!” Jack shouted in a voice so loud it made her ears ring. A vein pulsed in his neck. “I would never hurt a goddamn hair on your head.” His finger stabbed the air as he loomed over her. “I would lay down my fucking life for you, so don’t you dare equate me with him.”

  Rather than intimidate her,
his flare of temper only fueled her own. She liked this, she realized, in a sick, twisted way. Before she’d always been too dependent, too powerless to do anything other than meekly take what was doled out to her. “You messed with my life behind my back. You made decisions for me and Rosie you had no right to.”

  “I never made decisions for you,” he protested. “I just set things up to move in a direction I thought you wanted.”

  It was like talking to a brick wall. “Don’t you see that it was important for me to do that on my own? That after everything that happened it would be important to me to stand on my own feet, for me and Rosie?”

  The anger seemed to drain out of him. His arms dropped to his sides, his palms facing out as though to say, I give up. “You didn’t have anyone. I just wanted to be there for you.”

  The regret in his voice was unmistakable, but it wasn’t enough. “Then you should have tried to be my friend. Not my secret benefactor.”

  “I can still be your friend, Talia—and more. Give us another chance.”

  She shook her head. Even though part of her wanted to fling herself into his arms and never let go, she knew there would always be part of her that would feel weak. Useless. Foolish at her misplaced faith in herself. “I can’t.”

  He stepped toward her and she kept her eyes glued to the hardwood floor. His big booted feet came into view. His scent hit her, deep and rich and calling to someplace deep inside her even as she steeled herself to push him away. She could feel his warm breath ruffling her hair.

  “Please. Please be with me.”

  His boots blurred as the tears welled, and she swallowed past the thick knot in her throat and once again shook her head.

  “I love you,” he said, the words sounding ripped from his chest. “I love you,” he said again, softer this time.

  She felt like she was being eaten alive from the inside out, his words ripping through her so painfully she was surprised there wasn’t blood pouring from the hole in her chest. “You went behind my back and had me followed. I can’t trust you.”

  “I promise I’ll never do anything like that again. I’ll show you that you can trust me. We can get past this, Talia. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  Part of her wanted to so badly it was like a beast howling inside. How, it wondered, could she be so stupid to push this man away? This man who had never done anything to hurt her and everything to help her.

  This man who loved her and, God help her, who she loved back.

  But love wasn’t enough, a lesson she’d learned too many times in the past. It wasn’t enough to overcome the black hole of betrayal that had formed in her gut, spinning and sucking her in. Gathering force as it pulled in all the pain of her past and too many examples of why she could never place her faith in anyone other than herself.

  “Actually,” she said, the words rasping her throat like sandpaper, “all you’ve shown me is that I can never really trust anyone.”

  Chapter 19

  Sutherland made bail.” Nolan didn’t try to hide the anger in his voice.

  “That was quick.” Jack grimaced as he glanced at the clock on the nightstand that flanked the king-sized hotel bed where he’d crashed last night. It was just after 11:00 a.m. Less than fourteen hours had passed since Sutherland had been picked up.

  And less than twelve had passed since Jack had his heart ripped from his chest and ground into the floor. The twelve-hundred-thread-count sheets were like sandpaper across his skin, mocking him with their softness.

  “They could only book him for assault and stalking. So he got to go straight from his comfy hospital bed to the courthouse, without even a second spent in jail,” Nolan replied.

  “You still think he’s the serial rapist?” Jack sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed, wincing as the sliver of light peeking through the curtains seared through his eyeballs and bored into his brain.

  “He’s my best lead so far, but I have no grounds to arrest him yet. There was nothing on him or in his rental car to link him, and for whatever reason we’re having a hell of a time getting a warrant pushed through to search his hotel room.”

  Jack forced himself to the mini coffeemaker and managed to get it going with hands that shook a little from last night’s excesses.

  “And with him so eager to roll over on Margaret Grayson-Maxwell, the judge was happy enough to get him out of their hair for a few days.”

  Jack punched the power button. “Where did you say he was staying?”

  “I didn’t. Stay away from him, Jack. You did enough damage last night that he’d have a case if he wanted to bring assault charges against you. Don’t make trouble for yourself.”

  Like hell. Jack wasn’t afraid of trouble, especially after last night. What the hell did he care if he went to jail for pounding the fucker’s face in? It wasn’t like he had anything going for him anyway.

  Jack said good-bye to Nolan and nipped his pity party in the bud. Jesus, the only thing worse than a guy with a broken heart was a guy who laid around wallowing and moaning about his broken heart.

  And he’d done enough of that last night, after Talia had torn him to shreds. He’d told her he loved her and she’d kicked his ass out. He’d tried to protest, tried to convince her that she should keep him around just in case.

  Even he had to admit that he’d been thinking less of her safety and more about the fact that if he just stayed close, he’d be able to wear her down. Hell, even seduce her back into his arms and into bed. Show her with words and body how much he fucking worshipped the ground she walked on.

  How much he loved her.

  Talia wasn’t about to let him play into her fears, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to fall for his all but nonexistent charm. With her tormentor in jail, she’d pointed out, she couldn’t be much safer.

  “I’ll be fine without you,” she’d said, cutting him to the quick, as it was clear she wasn’t just talking about last night. “I don’t need you.”

  Part of him wanted to sink to his knees, bury his face in her stomach, and beg for another chance.

  But he’d been kicked around enough, cast off by other women he was convinced needed him—first his mother, then Gina. He didn’t have a ton of pride left when it came to moments like this, but he had enough to gather his things and get the hell out.

  Though he never spent excessively and took pride in living a lifestyle that didn’t so much as hint at his massive trust fund, last night he’d perversely decided to say fuck it.

  Talia was going to fault him for being wealthy, when he would have happily spent every last cent on her if it would make her life better? Well, screw it. He was going to live large and for once take advantage of what his money could afford for his own goddamn self.

  Instead of heading back to the efficiency complex that had been good enough on every other business trip here, last night he’d driven across town to the Four Seasons.

  Booked a suite. He proceeded to annihilate the minibar and then called down to room service to bring him up a bottle of bourbon whose price had been marked up about a thousand percent.

  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t drink her image away. The look of absolute betrayal, the fury when she realized he’d been keeping tabs on her.

  The humiliation when he admitted he’d bribed Susie to hire her. He knew it would do no good to tell her that since Talia had started, Susie had told him on several occasions what an awesome job she’d been doing, that sometimes she felt like she should pay him for sending such a great person his way. It wouldn’t take the pain away, so he’d kept his yap shut.

  Jesus, all he’d wanted to do was make her happy, and he’d managed to fuck even that up. By the time he made it halfway through the bottle, he felt like everyone and everything in the world was mocking him and his attempts to get Talia to fall for him. Even the luxuries of the five-star hotel seemed to taunt him.

  She should be here with him, sinking her bare feet into the plush carpet. Soaking in the Ja
cuzzi tub big enough to take a swim in.

  Rolling around on that giant bed.

  He’d wanted to treat her like a queen. Wake up every morning and tell her that he loved her. Give her everything she ever wanted because he wanted to make her happy, not because he expected anything back. Show her that everything he gave her was given freely, with no strings or obligations attached.

  He poured himself a cup of coffee and muddled his way over to the window. He threw back the curtains and let the bright sunlight penetrate his skull. Hoping the pain would distract him from the empty, hollowed-out feeling. Hoping it would drown out the voice in his head that mocked him for being a stupid idiot.

  What made him believe this thing with Talia could end up differently, when nothing had ever worked out before?

  He sucked down the contents of the minipot and pulled up his phone. Jack knew Talia would freak out if the news of Sutherland’s release caught her off guard. He quickly texted both Talia and Rosario that Sutherland was going to be released on bail soon. And while he didn’t think the guy would be stupid enough to try anything, especially when the woman bankrolling him was lawyering up and refuting every one of his claims against her, it would be a good idea for them to be careful.

  Not that Sutherland would get close to them even if he wanted to. Jack would see to that. After a shower and breakfast of room service, Jack made short work of finding out where Sutherland was staying. Amazing what a good relationship with the local cab companies and a couple of twenties could get you.

  He let out a mirthless laugh when the cabdriver told him he’d dropped Sutherland off at the same hotel Jack had been staying in up until last week. Jesus Christ, the guy had been right under his nose and he hadn’t known a thing.

  A quick diversion in the form of activating the emergency exit alarm was able to distract the desk clerk from his post long enough for Jack to duck behind the counter, call up Sutherland’s room info, and make himself a card key.