by Beth Rinyu
I didn’t even remember the drive when I pulled up to the address that was on the slip of paper. I didn’t want to give myself any time to think about it, so instead I hurriedly walked up to the front porch of the tiny Cape-style home, hoping I was at the right place. I took a deep breath and tapped on the door, beginning to doubt my actions, but knew there was no turning back now.
A blond-haired woman dressed in a diner waitress uniform who looked to be around Neil’s age opened the door. She seemed a little stunned at first as she looked me over before finally cracking a small, genuine smile.
“Lacey?” Her smile grew wider. I nodded, wondering how she knew who I was. “Come in out of the rain.” She opened the door wider, and I took a step inside.
“I’m Jennifer, Neil’s girlfriend.”
“Oh...umm. I’m sorry, I feel like such a fool. I came over here on impulse. I shouldn’t have just barged in like this.”
“Lacey, it’s perfectly fine! He ran up to the gas station to gas up my car for me before I head into work. I know this will make his day.”
“Have you been together for long?” I knew I had no business asking this woman that question. I had just met her, but I wanted to see if maybe she knew my mother back in the day.
“About a year now. Neil and I used to work together back home until the company shut down and left us both jobless. I knew how badly Neil wanted to meet you, so I agreed to come here. I figured I had nothing to lose. It would be good to start over.”
I nodded. “So where was home?” I asked.
“Virginia.”
“Oh,” I whispered.
“Why don’t you have a seat? Neil should be back—” We both turned around at the sound of the front door opening to find Neil entering. His face lit up when he saw me, and I couldn’t help but form some small semblance of a smile.
“Lacey…what a nice surprise,” he said as he cautiously inched toward me.
“I’m gonna head on into work now,” Jennifer interrupted. “It was really nice meeting you, Lacey.”
“And you as well,” I responded as she gave Neil a peck on the cheek and headed out the door.
“Lacey, I’m so sorry about yesterday,” Neil started.
I shook my head. “Let’s not talk about yesterday.”
“Okay.” He nodded in agreement. “Whatcha got there?” he asked, indicating the photo albums in my hand.
“This is me…from birth to my wedding, if you’re interested in taking a trip down memory lane with me.”
A huge smile spread across his face. “I would pay a million dollars to take that trip, but since I don’t have that kind of money, would you settle on a cup of coffee?”
“A cup of coffee sounds perfect.”
We took a seat at the kitchen table while the coffee brewed and wasted no time going over the first photo album. Neil’s smile grew bigger with each turn of the page as he studied each picture carefully. It was the oddest feeling in the world to me to think this man, who was practically a stranger, was my father, but as strange as it was, there was something about him I trusted. The same way I had trusted Quinn when I had first met him. He seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, and I was fairly certain he didn’t have any ulterior motives in mind, except trying to get to know me a little better. I knew it would take a while for me to trust him completely, but with each turn of the photo album page, I was slowly allowing him into a little space in my heart.
Chapter 35
Quinn
“It never fails. Things always wait until your father is away to break in this house,” my mother said.
“Well, it should be good now,” I said as I crawled out from under her kitchen sink. I stood up and turned on her faucet, making sure the leak was fixed. “It’s all good,” I informed her once I examined the pipe closely.
“Thank you so much, honey. You’re a lifesaver!”
“That was an easy fix. Just don’t let Dad mess around with it when he gets back. He always manages to unfix everything I’ve fixed.”
She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that happening. I learned my lesson with the washing machine.”
I grabbed my phone from the kitchen counter to find a missed call from Lacey and a text message from Sara, letting me know there was an offer on the house. I shot her a text back right away asking her for how much. I knew I should have called her to get all the details, but I was hoping I could find them all out by avoiding any conversation with her.
“What’s the matter?” my mother asked.
“Oh…umm. Sara just said someone put in an offer on the house.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Well, that’s good news, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it is.”
“You don’t seem so sure about that. You put your whole heart and soul into that house when you had it built.”
“That seems like a lifetime ago, Mom. Now it’s just a house like any other house.”
She nodded and began to unload the dishwasher. “I was just thinking. It’s a shame to give up that beautiful home. What if you and Lacey decide to get married and have a family?” I stared at her with my jaw hanging open as she continued to put away the dishes. Was this really my mother speaking? The same woman who a little over a month ago ambushed me by inviting my soon-to-be ex-wife over for my birthday in hopes of saving our marriage?
I cleared my throat and continued staring at her until she looked at me. “Umm…Mom, why the big rush to marry me off to Lacey? Don’t you remember lecturing me not too long ago over getting divorced?”
“Well, I happen to like Lacey a lot. She’s good for you, Quinn. I see how happy she makes you.”
“She does make me very happy, but if it ever comes down to us spending the rest of our lives together, it won’t be in a home I lived in with my ex-wife. It will be our own home.”
“That’s understandable.” She nodded as she sorted through the silverware drawer. “Hey, why don’t you stay for dinner and see if Lacey wants to come over?”
“Umm…”
“Come on, Quinn. I don’t know what I was thinking when I put in this big pot roast to cook. Your father’s not around to eat it, and Laura and the kids are at her in-laws.”
She always knew how to guilt me into things. “Well, let me call Lacey and see what she’s doing.” I pulled my phone out and dialed her number.
“Perfect!” she exclaimed just as the dryer buzzed, and she walked into the laundry room.
“Hey there!” Lacey said when she answered the phone. “I had a really great afternoon. I can’t wait to tell you all about it.”
“What’s up?”
“Well, I went to see Neil.”
I smiled over the happiness emitting from her voice.
“We had a nice talk and looked over some old photos. He’s a nice guy, Quinn.”
“That’s great, Lacey. I’m really happy for you.”
“It seems so weird to think I actually have a father. I mean, I always knew there was someone out there responsible for getting my mother pregnant, but it was always just some faceless person. It seems so surreal to me.”
“I knew you’d come around.”
“Well, thanks for happening to leave his address lying around like that.”
“You’re welcome. So are you on your way home?”
“Just pulled in the driveway.”
“Oh…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, my mother wants to know if you’d like to come over for dinner.”
There was a brief silence before she hesitantly replied, “Oh, yeah, I guess. I just have to let Gus out.”
“Are you sure? If you’re not up to it, I can tell her you have other plans.”
“No. It’s fine. I’ll be over in a few.”
I hung up the phone and crawled back under the sink to do a double check and make sure everything looked okay. Once I was satisfied, I stood back up and washed my hands.
“Are you staying for
dinner?” my mother asked as she returned to the kitchen with a laundry basket in her hand.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“And, will Lacey be joining us?”
“Ahh…yeah. She just had to run home and let her dog out.”
“Wonderful!” she exclaimed, placing the laundry basket down and checking on whatever she had in the oven. I still didn’t get this sudden change in attitude with my mother and how she was so accepting of my relationship with Lacey. “Oh, Quinn, while you’re here, can I ask you to do me another favor?”
“Yeah, what do you need?”
She grabbed her phone from her purse. “Well, I’ve been asking your father for over a month now to copy my pictures from my phone to my computer and he has yet to do it for me. Can I bother you to do it now? I don’t know the first thing about doing this stuff.” I took her phone from her hand, fairly certain I had shown her how to do this several times before. “You need my cord thingy, right?”
“Yup,” I replied as she handed it to me, and I plugged it into her computer. “You want all of them on here?” I asked.
“Yeah, it should just be from November and December. Your father got the ones of the kids from Halloween off already.”
I was planning on showing her how to do it again, but lost her to the ringing doorbell. I selected all of her photos from her phone and watched them pop up on the computer monitor. My mom, my dad, and my sister and kids from Thanksgiving. My mom and a group of women I had never seen before at what looked like a Christmas party. But the one that made me do a double take was of my mother and a girl who looked exactly like Lacey. I went back to the picture, dazed when I realized it was, without a doubt, Lacey in that photograph. When I looked at the date, I was even more shocked. Two weeks before Christmas. Two weeks before my mother and Lacey had even met. What the fuck was going on? My mother knew Lacey prior to Christmas? And why the hell didn’t either one of them say anything to me?
“Look who’s here!” my mother exclaimed as her eyes focused in on the photo on the computer monitor and all the color washed from her face along with her smile.
“Hey, you, what’s going on?” Lacey asked, leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek.
“I don’t know, Lacey. Why don’t you two tell me what’s going on?” I demanded.
She bit her bottom lip and let out a sigh when she set her eyes upon the photo on the computer screen.
“What the fuck, Lacey? You knew my mother and didn’t bother to tell me?”
Instant tears welled up in her eyes.
“Quinn! No. It’s not Lacey’s fault,” my mother chimed in.
“Really? Well, then will you please tell me why you both felt the need to lie to me over this?”
Lacey looked down at the ground as if she was afraid to respond.
“Lacey didn’t know I was your mother until Christmas.”
“Okay, then why did you two act like you never met before, and more importantly, how did you even meet?”
Lacey cleared her throat and looked at my mother.
“What’s the matter, Lacey? Can’t think of a good enough lie to come up with after spewing your bullshit about being honest with each other?”
She shook her head and tried her hardest to catch the teardrops that were streaming down her face.
“Quinn, stop that! Don’t talk to her that way! I asked her not to say anything.”
“About what?” I snapped.
Now it was my mother’s eyes filling up with tears.
“I-I...umm. I should go,” Lacey said, still unable to look at me.
“No, Lacey. Please stay,” my mother requested.
Lacey’s pleading eyes finally met mine, looking totally uncomfortable with the whole situation.
“Quinn, Lacey and I met a few weeks before Christmas,” my mother started before taking a deep breath and regaining her composure. “At a support group.”
“A support group for what?”
Tears began to pour from my mother’s eyes, while Lacey grabbed her arm in support.
“A support group for what, Mom?” I shouted once again, causing her to cry even more.
“For rape victims, Quinn,” Lacey responded for her.
“What? Why the hell are you going to a support group for rape victims, Mom?”
Lacey took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.
“Mom, you were—” I couldn’t even say her name and that word in the same sentence. I felt sick to my stomach when she finally looked at me and nodded.
“When?”
“It was a long time ago.”
“How long ago?”
“Before your father and I were even married.”
I shook my head, not wanting to believe what I was hearing. “Does...does Dad know?”
“No,” she whispered. “I didn’t tell anyone. I wanted to forget it happened.”
“So you just let him get away with it?” This was getting worse by the minute.
“Quinn, I had been drinking that night, and he had been drinking too.”
“So…that gave him the right to rape you? What the hell, Mom?”
“Your father and I had just gotten engaged, and I wanted to get on with starting our life. I’m not saying that what I did was right, but what’s done is done.”
“But you and Dad were only engaged for three months before you got married because you got pregnant.” I shook my head, trying to shake the thought that was starting to overtake me. “Please tell me he didn’t get you pregnant. Dad is my father. Right, Mom?” I didn’t even recognize my own panic filled voice. The knot in my stomach tightened over her silence. “My whole life you lied to me? You lied to Dad?”
“I didn’t lie, Quinn! As far as I’m concerned the man you’ve known to be your father for your entire life is your dad.”
“Are you one hundred percent sure of that?”
“Quinn…”
“Answer me, Mom! Can say for sure that he’s my father?”
She shook her head. “But, honey, he is…he’s the one who raised you. He’s the one who was there for you since the day you were born.”
She went to hug me, and I backed away. “How could you not tell me or him about this?”
“Because in my heart I know he’s your father, no matter what.”
“In your heart? Too bad your heart doesn’t control the fact that my father may actually be some sick rapist.”
“I’m sorry, Quinn. I love you so much, and so does Dad, and no matter what the truth may be, that will never change.”
“You just don’t get it, do you? I will never trust you again.”
She closed her eyes and sobbed as I went storming out the door with Lacey chasing after me.
“Quinn!” Lacey shouted, finally catching up to me at my truck. “Quinn, please talk to me,” she pleaded.
“Lacey, just get the hell away from me.”
“Quinn, I’m sorry.”
“How could you keep this from me?”
“It wasn’t my secret to tell.”
“No, it wasn’t your secret…but it was a secret about me. Remember me, Lacey? The guy you said you loved. The guy you promised to be honest to, and the guy who helped you break the ice with your real dad. But none of that mattered to you because you had some allegiance to my mother. I was just some sucker who’s been there for you for everything. I’ve always been one hundred percent honest with you. And you…” I shook my head. “I’ve already been with one liar. I don’t want to be with another one.” I opened the door to my truck, ignoring the pain in her eyes.
“Where are you going?” Her voice cracked.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Quinn, come on. Can we talk about this? I—”
“Yeah, sure. How’s this? I have nothing to say to you because we’re done.”
Her eyes widened as she fought back the tears. “Quinn, please don’t do this.” She latched on to my arm, and I yanked it away.
“Stop, Lacey! I’m
done being the asshole who lets everyone walk all over him. I thought you were different. I thought I could trust you.”
“You can, Quinn. I swear you can! It’s just this…when I first met you mother, I was clueless as to who she was. We don’t use last names there, and I listened to her story the same way she listened to mine. With the promise that everything that was said would be kept confidential. Then when I realized who she was on Christmas Day, I was in shock. I didn’t want to hurt you with this, Quinn, but don’t you see? It wasn’t my place to say anything to you.”
I shook my head, feeling my frustration growing. “You just don’t get it, Lacey, and you never will.”
“I do, Quinn. I really do, and I’m so sorry. Please forgive me!” She tried to catch her breath between sobs. “Please, I’m begging you.”
I shook my head and hopped in my truck without saying another word. I couldn’t deal with Lacey, I couldn’t deal with my mother, and most of all, I couldn’t deal with the prospect that what I was led to believe my entire life might have all been one big lie.
***
“Well, I was surprised to get a response back from you. I just assumed you would ignore me like you’ve been doing with all of my other texts,” Sara said, taking a seat next to me at the bar with a stack of papers in her hand.
I rolled my eyes, not much in the mood for sarcasm after what I had just learned. “So, this is it?” I asked, scanning over the offer that was made on the house.
“Yup.” She sighed. “The realtor said we can counter—”
“Got a pen?” I interrupted.
Her eyes widened. “Don’t you want to read it over a little better before you just sign off on it like it’s nothing?”
“No. I don’t care. I just want to be rid of it.”
“Okay…but—”
“Are you okay with what they’re offering?”
“Well, yeah. I guess it’s fair.”